The Blood of One The Sins of Many
by Nostalgicmiss
Summary: When her life fell apart, Bella ran. Not to avoid the problems, but to save the lives of those she loved. Lost with no guidance she finds herself with a bad drug habit and a job that involves shedding her inhibitions and her clothes. Stuck in this new rut, Bella has to choose between living or giving up completely. AU. Rated M for violence and drug usage.
1. Chapter 1: Rock Bottom

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter One: Rock Bottom**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer, it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

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_She paints her eyes as black as night now  
__Pulls those shades down tight  
__Yeah she gives a smile when the pain comes  
__The pain gonna make everything alright_

_**She Talks To Angels by The Black Crowes**_

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Laid on my back on the bed, I stared upright watching the ceiling fan spinning above me; its movement transfixed me. I was unable to tear my eyes away from it as it turned consistently. It maintained its speed and never changed, I wished my life were more like that, constant and steadfast.

The light of the morning was beginning to cast shadows across the room, it was only then that I realized I was sober. It brought me a rare moment of lucidity, and it wasn't something I'd wanted. I knew this state well. It was the moment that I asked how I'd got here, how my life had gone so wrong. It inevitably brought up the name that I never mentioned. Ever.

I wiped the sheen of sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand. If I hadn't been craving my next fix as it was, the hint of _his_ name made that feeling explode into desire. I couldn't let myself remember, because the moment I opened up those floodgates, it would all come back. Every disaster, ever pain, all of it. I just wasn't strong enough to go through that. I didn't think I ever would be.

I rolled to my side and faced the guy I'd met last night, who was currently blocking the path to my next fix. He was still passed out, naked, and was snoring lightly under his breath. When I glanced at him, I realized exactly why I'd picked him. There was always something that resembled _him_. I don't think there was I guy I had been with that didn't have one feature that bore some similarity to the person I still couldn't forget. This guy had a mop of auburn hair.

That was another thing I couldn't deal with this morning. When I was high it was easier to look past that and believe it was about instant gratification.

"Hey, asshole. Party's over, get the fuck out."

"Shut the fuck up, bitch. I'm sleeping."

"Fuck you. Get out before I throw you out."

The guy groaned, his hand moving to scratch his balls as he stretched out on the bed like a lion. As his eyes flickered open he grinned at me and my mistake just became more obvious. How I'd even compared this guy to the real thing was ridiculous. Apparently, being high did nothing for my taste in men, but at least I got off.

"You want a goodbye fuck, beautiful?" I almost gagged at the thought.

"No. I just want _you_ to fuck off."

He shrugged, obviously unaffected by my rejection as he crawled from the bed. After he was out of my way, I made my second mistake of the morning and crawled immediately to the nightstand where my lord and master, my mind eraser in a syringe was waiting for me.

"Oh, was I in the way?" The guy asked, shucking on his jeans and leaving them open. He stepped toward the nightstand faster than I could reach it and held up the little baggy with my dope in it.

"Give it back, motherfucker."

I could see him smirking at me as he swung the bag back and forth in front of me. He was teasing me and I knew it. I wasn't a hardcore user. I usually had two or three fixes a day to stop myself from building a tolerance, but my first morning hit was an important one.

"Please?" I forced out. Not an inkling of sincerity in my voice.

He made no move to do as I'd asked. He just stood there arrogantly with the same sardonic smile on his lips. It incensed me. I had tried to be polite and now he was just fucking with me because he could. I launched myself at him; my nails like claws raking down his face. He stumbled on his feet for a second before he was able to grab my hands and stop the attack.

I had to give him credit. He wasn't like the others and he didn't raise his hand to me even though there were red lines marring his cheeks. He simply shook me off as though I weighed nothing, and dumped me unceremoniously on my bed before storming to the bathroom.

"No!" I shouted, scrambling to follow him, but I was too late.

The toilet flushed and the smug look on the bastards face told me he wasn't fooling around. As I tried to pass him and do something infinitely more embarrassing, his arm circled my waist. He pulled me from the ground and into his chest, his lips close to my ear.

"That's for my face, you junky whore." His tone was filled with malice and hatred, as he dropped me back to my feet making me stumble. I stopped before I fell to my knees, which even without the aid of this guy could have happened with my lack of balance.

"Fuck you. I can't believe you just fucking did that."

My hands were in my hair, already tugging as the trembles started like an echo inside of me. It wouldn't be long until I was a full on mess, and I knew it the mornings were always the worst. The sweating in this air-conditioned climate should have been a dead giveaway.

"Just get out."

"With fucking pleasure." He sneered, picking up the last of his things and storming out of my studio apartment. It was more a box with a bathroom than an apartment, but who needed semantics when a disaster had just occurred?

"Shit, shit, shit." I mumbled, pacing the floor while I shook out my hands to calm myself down. I had to find a dealer, I knew Tony wouldn't be awake until at least two, and it was... I looked at the clock... only eight in the morning.

If I didn't find something soon, the memories would start coming hard and fast with the withdrawals. There was already the image of my father in his uniform playing at the edges of my mind, and that was almost as bad as seeing _him_.

I picked up my cell phone and stared at the screen. I just needed a small fix that would carry me over until two, when I could meet up with Tony. Hardly anyone knew about my little problem, and I planned on keeping it that way, but there were a couple of people who partied with me, and they were my only other option.

As I scrolled through the contacts, I found a name that gave me hope. It was a girl I worked with, and I knew she was into the same shit I was, because she wasn't as eager as I was to hide the track marks as I was. I'd seen them by accident, but they were there.

I hit the send button and lifted the phone to my ear, almost gagging at the "_I'm a Barbie girl" _ringback tone. I may have needed her, but it didn't mean I liked having to depend on her.

"Whoever this is. It better be fucking good," she said down the receiver. I could hear the grogginess in her tone and almost face palmed myself for not realizing most of the world was asleep this time of the morning on a Saturday.

"Misty, it's Bella. Are you holding?" So much for not sounding desperate, Bella, I reprimanded myself.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You woke me up for this?"

"Some asshole just flushed my shit. You know I wouldn't call unless it was an emergency." I looked down at my shaking hand and balled it before pushing it into my stomach to stop it. I hated the side effects of this. I didn't have dexterity to begin with, but coming down from a high made all of that quadruple.

"Sucks to be you." She snickered down the line. "And to answer your question, no. I'm trying to stop."

"God dammit."

There was a weighted silence between us as we both contemplated what to do or even say next. Misty wasn't the kind of person I would usually have a friendship with outside of work, and we both knew it. Me calling to ask her if she could help me find a fix just seemed to leave an awkward air between us.

"Listen, my guy can help you out. Just tell him I sent you, you're gonna have to go in person because he doesn't deliver and he doesn't do business over the phone. He's a paranoid son of a bitch."

"That'll work." Sadly, I could hear my integrity flushing with my stash as I said it.

She gave me an address and I hung up and jumped in the shower. The memories were coming like small blackouts and it was beginning to become impossible not to follow this stumble down memory lane.

I leaned against the cool tile of the shower and rubbed my temples as the first time I'd seen _him_ came to my mind. How innocent and naive I had been. I had just moved in with my dad because my mom was following Phil around in attempt to keep his career going. I was riding high on the fact that I had been gifted a truck, and even though the stares of everyone around me had been slowly pulling me under, the moment I saw him it all disappeared.

Of course he'd glowered at me as though I'd run over his puppy, and still had its blood on my hands. The way he'd upturned his nose at me had made me paranoid. I sniffed at my hair before hiding behind it, unsure of what the problem was. By the time the bell had rang; I was confused as hell and upset. That night, I convinced myself to confront him, but he wasn't at school the next day, or for the few after that.

He'd been more personal when he'd reappeared, and he'd looked different. Had I known what I knew now, I would have realized it was because he'd fed. He'd sated his thirst and was able to be around me. That right there should have been a huge hint.

It had taken some time to get close to him, and I was ashamed to say that I had used my feminine wiles to get more information from my father's best friends son, Jacob. Putting the puzzle pieces together I discovered his secret, and it only seemed to bring us closer together.

I'd given all of my heart to _him_. He'd been everything to me. He had been my world. There wasn't a moment I wasn't thinking about him, or a way to be with him. He was my reason for breathing, my reason for living. The love I had for him was the type of love people wrote about.

When he touched me, my body came to life. My stomach never stopped flipping over my need for him. From the moment things between us became serious, he'd been so gentle and adoring. He had the ability to make me feel like the only woman in the world. I felt beautiful when I was with him. Though I never understood why he saw me that way.

I squeezed my eyes closed as I stood closer to the spray of water. That history was a double hit. It was two pains, and two names that assaulted me with bitter memories. It dragged me further under my own misery and self-loathing. Jacob. I hadn't thought of him for so long, but it was still just as hurtful as the first.

As I moved to pick up my shampoo I slid on the slick surface and hit the wall with my shoulder. The rush of my history smashed against my skull as I remembered the first time _he_ and I had fully interacted. I would never forget the screaming of the tires as the mini van came toward me, and I sure as hell wouldn't forget the way he'd caught me and pulled me out of its path. He'd been so fast and so strong, impossibly so in fact. Whether or not I was aware of it, it would be the first time in a long string that he would save my life.

Once I'd confronted him about what he was, and, in time, figured it all out. I fell in love with him. We spent all of our time together, and when the nomads had come through, he'd fought to save my life once again.

It was the beginning of the end for the two of us, and it was the start of the downturn in my life.

At my eighteenth birthday party, my clumsiness had caused me to make a fatal mistake. A paper cut had caused Jasper to lose his tenuous hold on his nature. It had made _him_ realize, just how fragile I was, and he'd decided I wasn't worth his time. The months following had been the worst in my life up to that point. I was sad to say that was no longer the case, but I couldn't think about that.

I couldn't think about any of it.

I shut off the water and stepped out of the shower, pulling a threadbare towel around my shaking body. The withdrawals were getting so much worse, I needed to get moving if I didn't want to be huddled in a ball somewhere between here and the dealers house.

As much as I hoped it would be the end of my rumination, I knew better. My lucid mind wouldn't let my waking nightmares go now, not as it was just getting warmed up.

My mind moved cruelly to Jacob. Once he'd been such a light in my life, but now he was just another source of pain. He'd helped me move past _him_, he'd been a sun in my dark world and pulled me above the surface before I drowned. It had taken me a while to trust him enough with my already shattered heart, but when I did, it had been beautiful. He and I had fit together, we had so much in common, but our differences also served to balance us out. I trusted him with my life, and my heart but my soul would always belong to someone else. He knew me well enough to understand that though.

It had worked well for a while. He and his friends were determined to rid me of the one piece of unfinished business _he_ seemed to have forgotten about. Victoria had been one of the nomads that had come after me. _He_ and his family had killed Victoria's mate and she hadn't forgotten it. She stalked me for years, and was always able to avoid Jacob and his friends.

When she disappeared for a while, I thought I could live a normal life. Jacob and I were getting closer, and once I finished college we'd planned on moving in together. That was until I came home for the summer during my sophomore year. Jacob was waiting for me on my dad's porch. I hadn't seen him in weeks because he'd been working and I was doing finals. I ran into his arms, but I knew something was different. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't show the excitement I was expressing at seeing him.

That's when he'd told me he'd imprinted. He'd been so apologetic; he'd fallen to his knees, his arms around my waist and his head against my stomach. He'd promised me it hadn't been intentional. He'd met her when she'd brought her car into the shop he worked at. He promised me he'd fought it, but it didn't matter. The fact was he wasn't mine, and no matter how many apologies he fed me, it wouldn't change anything. My heart was once again ripped into shreds; the fragments left behind by _him_ were now in a thousand of their own from Jacob.

The shakes in me began to work into tremors. My whole body moved with them making my teeth chatter together. It was no longer just the need for drugs that plagued me. It was the memories barraging me too. I pulled on my shoes and grabbed my bag for work. Heading down to my car I threw it into the trunk before climbing in behind the wheel.

Ten minutes and this would all be pushed to the back of my mind once again. It was the only thing stopping me from curling into a ball and letting fate take its course. As long as I had my fix, I wouldn't be plagued like this. Maybe it was avoidance. Maybe not dealing with all of this and escaping it was the one thing making it so hard to be sober, but I wasn't strong enough. I never really had been. That was my problem.

As bad as having my love thrown to the wayside, it hadn't been the thing to completely break me. Losing love twice, I think I could have handled that, but it was the repercussions of those relationships that had been the straw that had broken the proverbial camel's back.

I had refused to talk to Jacob after he'd imprinted. I knew it was unfair of me to do that to him, but I couldn't stand seeing him and knowing I couldn't have him. I threw myself into school, and avoided going home for holidays. I felt terrible punishing my dad for the betrayal of Jacob and _him_, but avoiding being close to them seemed to work.

When he finally convinced me to come home during spring break of my junior year, I grudgingly packed my things and drove home to visit with him. It had been great to catch up with him, but after a side visit that had almost crippled me, I'd run into Jacob. The need to flee was almost overwhelming. When it came to fight or flight, flight had always been my instinct.

Jacob wouldn't let me walk away from him though. He forced me to listen to his lies, before commenting on how much weight I'd lost and how pale I'd become. When my silence finally became too much for him to take, he drove me home to dads house.

No! I couldn't think about that. That was too hard, that was too much. I tried to turn on the radio in my car and drain out the images smashing against my skull, and it was futile to try and ignore it. Even staring at the red light in front of me didn't take my focus from the memory of what came next.

Jacob and I had been in the car. I hadn't said a word since he'd cornered me and I hadn't been about to break that vow of silence. When I'd opened the door and climbed out, he'd pulled me back in by the back of my coat, my head smashed against the middle console painfully. I cried out in fury, but the shouts died in my throat as the front door to my home was pulled open, revealing Victoria.

The happenings after that have always been fuzzy, but I knew I screamed a lot, and I will never forget the satisfied smirk on Victoria's lips as I charged at her. Jacob managed to get to her first, but I was too invested in getting to my father and practically ran through the middle of the fight to get to him.

There was no saving him. I'd known it the moment I stepped in the house and saw the blood covering the walls and every surface of the house. I'd found dad lying in a pool of his own blood, not breathing at all as his blank eyes stared into nothingness. There was no spark behind those eyes, and there hadn't been for a while.

The days following his death were a blur. I don't remember anything other than Jacob telling me she'd got away yet again. The only other vacant memory was me accusing him of not trying because he didn't love me anymore, and the look of utter destruction on his features following it.

My next memory was of waking up in a strange bed, in a strange house. As I'd opened my eyes, I saw my mother sitting in the chair next to the bed looking disturbed as she slept. With Victoria still on the loose, I wouldn't risk her too, so I raided her purse while she slept and left without a word. I hadn't spoken to her since. I hadn't spoken to anyone since then. I legally changed my name to Isabella Masen, as ashamed as I am to admit it. I moved as far as I could possibly get from anyone I knew.

I reinvented myself, but the memories just kept coming. I was living in a motel when I met Luke. I'd been working three different jobs as a waitress to make ends meet. We got close and started something that resembled a relationship, I ended up moving in with him and picking up his bad habits. That's where I discovered I could force myself to forget, and I did. As often as I could. He was the one that found me the job I was working at now and I'd been there since. It had lasted exponentially longer than my relationship with Luke.

I pulled up to the curb outside of the address Misty had given me and rested my head on the steering wheel as I sucked in breaths. I had to get it together before I went inside. If this guy was paranoid my withdrawals wouldn't make him comfortable.

The memories were still circling in my head, but knowing my respite was a mere walk away seemed to give me the fight to shove them a little further back. If I stayed clean they would become an endless circle, and that would only affect my work. I just needed a hit and I would be straight. I could chill out in my car for a couple of hours before I had to start my shift. Get past that first burst and I would be set for at least six hours after that.

I climbed out and drew in a breath from the desert heat. It was hot and dry, and didn't exactly make me feel better, but it straightened out my head. I walked to the door as steadily as I could, counting each step to keep my mind from restarting my life history. By the time I was knocking at the door, I was almost bouncing on the balls of my feet in anticipation.

"Who are you?" A voice asked, startling me. I'd been so focused on not focusing I hadn't heard the door opening.

"I'm Bella. Misty sent me."

The guy gave me a once over and licked his lips. I could see exactly how she got her shit from him, but if he thought I was going to whore myself out to score a hit he was mistaken. I had money. In fact, I had hard, cold cash. If he didn't want that kind of transaction, then I wasn't sure what I would do. My craving was already telling me not to be so hasty.

"Lift up your shirt."

I did as he asked. He was checking me for wires. I'd been through the drill a thousand times and it didn't make me feel as uneasy as it once had. It was all part of the life I'd built for myself.

"You a cop?"

"Do I look like a cop?"

"Do you want my help?"

"No. I'm not, nor have I ever been a cop." Just a cop's daughter, I thought painfully.

"Fine. Here's how it works. You come in; you take a hit so I know you ain't five-oh. Then you can pay for what you want and leave."

"Perfect."

He opened the door a little further as I stepped in eagerly under his arm. The house was dark, and musty and the smell of chemicals was overwhelming. I wasn't exactly well versed in anything other than my own poison, but it was obvious they were cooking meth. It made me all the more eager to get the hell out of there.

"Here," he said, handing me a small tray with my drug of choice set out on it.

I took it from him fervently, my hands shaking a little as I dropped to my knees and set it on the table. I put everything together easily like I had a thousand times before, and pulled out one of my own empty syringes.

"You care if I use one of my own?"

"Prefer if you did."

I nodded and got to work, sticking the tip in a cotton ball before pulling up the plunger slowly. Dropping the rest of the crap, I held the needle upright and made sure there were no air bubbles before pulling off my shoe and situating my foot where he could see it. I knew he was looking up my skirt but I ignored the fact. I was concentrating on the needle in front of me.

I leaned forward and placed it between my toes, I winced as I always did at the needle sinking into my skin. It was like a small bite of pain that held the promise of freedom. One step left and I would be in oblivion.

As my father's face came to my minds eye, I threw caution to the wind and depressed the plunger. With one sigh of ecstasy, I let the needle drop to the floor as warmth rushed through my veins and everything fell away.

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**Authors Note: **I realize this covers some of what you already know, but I wanted to show how Bella's thoughts worked when she wasn't filled with her chemical memory eraser. This first chapter is rough and choppy, and it was intended that way to show how erratic Bella's thoughts are when she doesn't have what she needs.

I realize that this chapter could turn some of you off, and have you walking away before its started, and believe me, I understand. It's not going to get easier for a long while. Bella is broken almost beyond repair. She doesn't want to feel and she doesn't want to live. Things will be explained a little more as time passes I promise :)

As with Rekindled Ashes, I have a playlist for this on _**Spotify**_... If you have it come check it out ;-)

Thank you for reading. I hope to see you again next week!

As always... to Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie... Thank you for always being, for reading this stuff when its discombobulated and utter crap, and sticking with me until it resembles something a little better. Thank you for your love and friendship, and for your faith in me! LOVE YOU!

**MWAH!**


	2. Chapter 2: This is My Life Now

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 2: This is My Life Now**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer, it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

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_I miss the bad things. The way you hate me.  
__I miss the screaming, the way that you blame me!  
__Miss the phone calls. When it's your fault.  
__I miss the late nights, don't miss you at all!  
__I like the kick in the face, and the things you do to me!  
__I love the way that it hurts!  
__I don't miss you, I miss the misery!_

_**I Miss The Misery by Halestorm**_

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The thumping bass rolled out from the doors of the club like a welcome mat. It had been hours since I'd had my fix in the house with Misty's dealer. It have given me a great high and the guy had been decent enough to let me occupy his floor space for a few hours before asking me to leave. I'd driven around for a couple of hours and watched the sun set over the desert before giving myself another fix and an hour for it to relax me. Then I headed toward work.

I was ready for my measly four hour shift. Being a Saturday night and having too many girls on the schedule, they tried to be fair and split up the Saturday night hours so we would all have a chance to make the good money. I was, thankfully, on during the prime hours, which gave me the opportunity to make the big bucks. My morals and scruples were locked away, and my inhibitions were scratched out like a wrong answer.

The hot desert air was like a balm against my clammy skin as I crossed the parking lot with my bag over my shoulder. The neon lights flashed bright against the darkened sky, amusing me as it painted my skin with the stray hues. There was a time in my life when I never would have dreamed of walking into a place like this, but that was a different me, in a different life that I would never find again. In all honesty, I wasn't sure I wanted to undergo again. This Bella was free. This Bella did what she wanted, when she wanted, and without apology.

Sure, I stripped for a living. I took off my clothes to bass-heavy, power ballads while men watched and fantasized about what they wanted to do to me. Sex was a billion dollar industry, and who was I to turn that down? I was a new person, taking opportunities as they presented themselves to me. There were some nights when the right guy, with the propitious genetics took me home, but lets face it, what else did I have to live for?

I shook my head and tried to rid myself of the thoughts that would do nothing but drag me under and drown me in self-pity. I'd spent too long sober, and my past was lingering like a fart in a confined space. I needed to get inside and shake my ass for tips so I could remember my new place in life. As much as the term junky whore had hurt from the asshole that morning, I couldn't deny its accuracy.

I shifted my bag on my shoulder as I neared the door and patted one of the outer pockets, reassuring myself that my salvation was within reach if I needed it. I was more than capable of wiping my mind free with the high I had going on, but at the same time, I was already too close to the memories that I'd been brutally forced to face this morning. It would take the smallest thing to retrigger that, and I could be dealing with it. I'd done my penance for the week. I didn't need another reminder of the life I'd left behind.

"Hey, Trinity." Ryan called from the door as I approached, teetering over the paving stones in my heels. He was a bouncer at the club I worked at. Trinity was my stage name, and though he called me Bella away from the customers, he stuck to Trinity when he was even in earshot of them. He'd made it his personal mission to try and save me since Luke had brought me here almost sixteen months earlier. He'd told me I was too good for a life like this, and I'd told him to fuck off. We'd been friends since. Though the bastard was still persistent.

"Hey, handsome." I replied, skipping the small line already forming, and planting a kiss on his warm cheek. Handsome was accurate for him, he had that quality about him that made most of the girls swoon. With his dark hair and strong jawline, and the smile that belonged in a toothpaste commercial, he was a hot commodity, but he also had the patience of a saint and was genuinely kind. Any woman would be lucky to have him, but I was not lucky, and I wouldn't risk his life. Being with me was a death sentence, and I was sure my heart couldn't take another hit.

"When are you gonna let me make an honest woman out of you?" He asked, pulling me in closer for a hug. He asked the same question every time we shared a shift, and my answer was always the same.

"I already told you," I said, cupping his cheek with my hand. "Show me one of those flying pigs, and you've got yourself a wife."

"You're breaking my heart." He grinned, leaning his cheek into my hand.

"And you're breaking us by trying to stop her from dancing." Some asshole in line piped in.

Dropping my hand, I gave Ryan a shrug before sauntering into the club, swinging my hips as though I had the grace of a pendulum. I could hear him trying to settle down the patrons as they ridiculed him for trying to convert a stripper. As always he was as graceful as ever, telling them to shut the fuck up and remember that entry was at his discretion.

I rode my high all the way to the changing room, a place where the word prude may as well have been a shriveled fruit. There were enough tits and ass parading around the room to keep a college fraternity in monkey spanking material for a week. My first time back here had triggered my blush, but now... Now, it was just another day in paradise.

I dropped my bag and kicked it under my vanity. All the outfits I brought were the best of my selection. Saturday nights were always fast and lucrative, but make the guys sit up, literally, and pay attention, and you could make them hand over their paychecks.

"You get your fix?" Misty asked, leaning into my mirror space as I took my seat. I watched as she grabbed her girls and perked them in her bra before giving them a good shake to make sure the goods stayed in place until she was ready to reveal them.

"New bra?" I asked, with a smirk.

"Fuck yes, but you didn't answer the question, buttercup. Are you holding?" She gave me a look in the mirror, which served as a warning. Her abstinence was starting to make her shaky. She didn't want the temptation around.

"Not on me." I lied, making sure not to even glance at my bag and give it away. Instead, I kept eye contact. It was amazing what you were capable of without inhibitions.

"Good. I need to keep away from that shit. Some asshole knocked me up, and no kid deserves to start a life like that."

"Duly noted. How long before you start showing?" I asked. Showing a baby bump meant death to a career in a place like this. Or at the very least, a long hiatus with no pay.

"Couple months tops. I gotta start putting in overtime so I can save for not working." She turned around and bent over, her head twisted so she could see her ass in my mirror. "Gotta go sweets."

I waved at her over my shoulder before plugging in my flat iron and pulling out my make up. This life wasn't nearly as glamorous as one would think. It was, however, good, fast money that paid the bills and kept my habit from putting me in debt.

I started applying my evening's mask of sin with precision. I was luck enough to have been taught the ropes by one of the veteran girls in the club before she left. She'd been their main attraction for a long time, but age was a bitch, and gravity was cruel, even when half your body was plastic.

"Trin, you're sharing the den with Candi." The manager, Brian, said striding past unapologetically.

I dropped the brush I was holding and spun in my chair to face him. Any other night the den really wouldn't have bothered me, but it was a Saturday.

"What? Why?"

Brian stopped, his hands folding over his broad chest as he turned to face me. He hated it when girls questioned his methods, but he was a decent guy for the most part.

"Bachelor party. They've requested the sinners and saints package, and you, my dear, are the feistiest devil I've got. Please don't fight me on this. I found you the prettiest angel working tonight."

"Please say I'm at least getting some time on the floor."

"You're getting time out on the floor." He said sarcastically.

"Could you say that again and mean it?"

"No."

"Son of a bitch."

"If you knew my mom, you'd know just how on the money you are." He deadpanned.

"Brian–"

"Listen, Trinity. You play your cards right, and this could be a lucrative shift for you. These boys are drunk off their asses with a lot of money to spend. Get their attention and you're set."

"Fine, but they'd better be high rollers."

Brian smiled and continued walking, his wandering hands grabbing asses along the way. Normally, I liked him, but I wasn't so sure today. He was killing my buzz with this shit. Sharing meant fulfilling some fantasy, which usually meant I had to make out with some chick and act like we were getting one another off. I normally preferred to get out on stage and let the music guide me. It was easy to get lost in the beat, my body bending and writhing as I worked the pole and shed my clothing. Being in the den for a package meant putting on a show, playing out a fantasy and making the clients believe we were the personification of our characters. The only redeeming thing about being a devil was the fact that I could be a bitch to the guys and have an excuse for it.

It really wasn't my thing, but he was right about it being good money. The angel and me would be the sole focus of these men, and even though the other girls would pass through on occasion, it was our job to keep them satisfied and focused so they wouldn't realize it was a revolving door.

"I fucking hate parties," a blonde said falling into the seat next to me. "And from your reaction, I would say you're not exactly thrilled either."

I turned to look at her. She was wearing a tiny white baby doll, with a virginal cotton bra underneath it, but if the happy ending underneath was what I knew it to be, she had a promiscuous red thong on hidden by all of the purity. Her white blonde hair was in gentle, bouncing curls. Finishing off her little outfit was a pair of wings and a halo I was about to make slip.

"You could say that, but while you're here, you should know I have a ground rule for situations like this."

"That is?"

"No tongue. If you don't have a dick, I don't want any part of you _in_ me. We clear?"

She threw her head back and laughed, her curls bouncing as they fell over her shoulders and tangled with the wings made of dove and downy goose feathers.

"What's your name?"

"Why?" I asked, confused by her amusement.

"Because I like you," she said with a sardonic smirk. "Most of these bitches don't have a sense of humor."

"What makes you think I do?"

"I don't, but I like the way you talk. Your no bullshit sensibilities appeal to me. I worked with a girl that called herself "Cinnamon" last week. I swear she almost slapped me when I licked her neck."

I snorted in response and went back to my mirror. Candi and I chatted while I finished my make up and hair. I didn't make friends, it was one of my rules, and though I had acquaintances I never let anyone get too close. As conversations went though, I'd pretty much say it was as good as it was going to get. Candi was a refreshing change from some of the airheads that bounced around this place. She was paying her way through UNLV, and I had to admit I was impressed.

By the time I was teetering down the corridor toward the den, I felt confident enough to do this without feeling weird about it. Candi, or Michelle as she was known outside of the club, was actually kind of fun. We'd planned out our own little version of heaven and hell, and were going to have some fun with it. I actually found myself looking forward to it.

Then I walked in the room and the illusion shattered like a fragmented mirror.

I don't know why he stood out to me, but the moment I walked in the room, my eyes found him amongst the sea of guys milling about and playing with some of the waitresses at the private den bar. It was a face from my past. One I'd never thought I would see again.

Under any other circumstance, I probably could have slipped away unnoticed, but a half naked woman, walking into a room of horny men, there wasn't a snowballs chance in hell.

"Hot damn. What do we have here?" Hollered one of the asshats closest to us as Candi and I ventured further into the room. I let my straight hair fall forward like a curtain around my face and sauntered over to the speaker. He looked down at me with hungry eyes, his tongue running across his bottom lips as though I were something to be consumed.

I could feel another body come up behind me and press me into the guy's chest as he ground his dick against my ass.

"Looks as though we have someone else to corrupt." He slurred behind me his S's coming out sloppy and almost incoherent. He slid his hand up my red slip, his fingers playing with the edge of my thong.

I slapped his hand away and turned on him as I fell into character, my bitchiness rising to the surface. I hoped I wouldn't be recognized as I bore down on him, my smile turning baleful. I pulled the whip I'd been using as a belt from my waist and pushed the butt of the handle against his growing bulge.

"I think if you're looking for innocence, you've got the wrong ass, but I think I could be persuaded to corrupt our friend in white."

He grabbed my ass again with two hands, and I lost myself in my character. I pushed him roughly toward part of the long, plush booth bench running along one of the walls that we used as seating. His ass hit the cheap velvet hard, and before he could think to move, my fire engine red stiletto heel was digging into his shoulder, holding him in place.

His eyes went wide and fevered as they moved up my legs to where my thong was revealed to him. He tried to sit forward, but I put more pressure on him with my leg and gave him a smirk.

Folding my whip in half, I popped it in on itself until the only noise in the room was the thumping bass.

"What do you say we get this party started?" I shouted, running my hands over my chest and down over my ribs to my hips.

A raucous cheer filled the room as the song changed to a pounding tempo that filtered into the room through the huge speakers. I retrieved my foot from the guys shoulder and turned, only looking back to growl at him when he slapped my ass playfully. I sauntered away toward my cohort, who was more than in character as she stood in the corner looking more than abhorred at the situation as her lips whispered what looked like a prayer.

I took my time coaxing her out of the corner to the delight of our own private audience. I ran my fingers down her arm to her hand where I tugged on her gently, leading her to the center of the room and up onto the small stage where the pole stood calling for attention. I kept my back to the one person in the room that knew me, and pushed Candi against the cool metal, folding over at the waist so all he had to look at was my ass. I peeked under the small white baby doll she was wearing, pulling at the seam playfully until she slapped my hand away and acted coy.

I straightened as the men closed in around the small circular stage, and gave Candi a smile that told her we had them hook line and sinker. I reached around her to the pole and circled her like a predator around its prey, dipping and grinding to the music as I did.

I teased her with each passing. My fingers twirling her hair, fondling her wings, grazing her breasts and thighs. She swatted me away, but the men seemed to grow more eager for me to tease her. With their encouragement, I dipped against her body, my face coming dangerously close to her, thankfully, covered pussy.

The music was almost drowned out by the reaction of the men around us. I could feel hands on my thighs as I stuck my ass out and wiggled, teasing them as I ran my hands up her legs and under the short skirt of what she was wearing.

Candi played the perfect part. Her head tipping to the side as her halo tipped slightly on her head. I lifted my hands up in surrender to the great disappointment of the men in the room, but falling to my hands and knees, I crawled toward the edge of the stage and had one of them help me down as I disappeared into the shadows, where we kept the props. The lights started flashing red as I moved, making my actions look sinister and made me feel sexy.

I grabbed one of our high backed chairs and dragged it behind me like a puppy as I stalked back to the stage and the curious glance that Candi was giving me. Though she and I both knew what was coming. This is where we started what I liked to refer to as the foreplay.

This was a small stage play that didn't include the men, and they weren't able to interact with us. The waitresses were constantly filling drinks and getting them drunk and relaxed, while we did what we did and let the no touching drive them insane. By the time we were finished, they'd lavish us with money until we gave them what they wanted, which meant they would be more than happy to offer us the money.

As I reached the stage, I made a show of bending over to pick up the chair. I slid it toward Candi, who was beginning to run her hand up her own leg as she ground her hips to the music, her head turning from me with a wide eyed innocence.

Sliding the chair in front of her, I made an exhibition of sitting in it, my ass high in the air and slowly descending until I was sat facing Candi. With slow, deliberate movements, I spread my legs wide and grinned, as the catcalls from the men seemed to bring her eyes back to me. The sound of their excitement was like liquid courage to me.

As the tune changed to something more provocative and filled the room with my favorite song, I felt the rhythm take over my movements and I started to dance with the chair. I was writhing and grinding, bending and touching. I moved the angel and her slipping halo to the chair as I moved to the pole, my limber legs wrapping as I hung with a dexterity that was only present because of my current high.

Little by little, I corrupted the angel in front of me as I danced, bringing her into the dance as I moved, until the spectators had the illusion of not knowing where I ended and she started. The more she reacted, the more the men reacted. When she finally fell to her knees and dropped her wings and halo, the men were in an enthusiastic frenzy. The lust filled haze lingered around the room with the testosterone fuelled calls of men eager to touch our damp bodies. Candi still had her dress hitched around her waist but her bra was long gone. I of course stood with nothing but a red thong and stilettos on.

As she sat in front of me on her knees she ran her hands up my legs. I pushed a stiletto into her shoulder and shook my head no, my smile almost euphoric from the rush of the men's reactions.

"Where's the groom?" I called out in my most commanding voice as I stood, twirling Candi's white blonde hair in my fingers. She wrapped her body around my legs in a show of loyalty that only made the guys more excited.

I could hear someone being pushed onto the stage behind me, and turned finding myself face to face with Mike Newton. The one guy I'd been trying to avoid all night. After all of my efforts, I knew the gig was up. I could see the recognition flicker in his eyes the closer he got. I ignored it and smiled seductively as though I had no idea who the hell he was. I lost myself in my own head, too lost in the game to care in that moment.

"Sit." I ordered, pointing at the chair. He didn't hesitate and planted his ass in the wood. I unleashed the Angel on him, and she indulged, grinding her ass into his lap with wild abandon. I circled the chair and retrieved my whip from the floor, much to the excitement of the crowd.

I wrapped the thing around his neck loosely and bent over, smiling as the men behind me groaned with wanton lust. I slapped my own ass and looked over my shoulder before turning my attention to Mike.

"Take off her dress."

The guys went wild again and started chanting his name as the familiar face blushed under their scrutiny. I could see he was drunk, but somehow he was nowhere near their level of inebriation.

He reached forward, his hands on the white silk. Candi rolled her hips, helping him reach his destination, revealing the red thong that matched mine. The crowd went wild as they realized she was now fully corrupted.

It was easy money after that. The two of us worked the room together and separately, but I made sure to avoid Mike. I didn't want to see him and I didn't want him to think I recognized him. Maybe he was drunk enough to think it was a mistake. At least, I hoped he was.

By the time my shift was over, I had wads of money in my thong. I'd already made a couple of trips to the bar to empty them into a box back there. Each of us had our own, it ensured we didn't lose money and that it wasn't left lying around.

"Hey," Candi said, leaning over the bar with a guy pressed in close behind her. She rolled her eyes but didn't correct the situation. It's what we were here for after all. "I'm about to get out of here, but I think the best man is on a hunt for you. You need me to intercept?"

"I appreciate it, but I'm about to get out of here. Just waiting for the new girls."

She gave me a nod, and feigned adoration for the guy sticking a stack of fives into her thong. She of course played the '_I'll be right back'_ card, and slid behind the staff only door, leaving me and the waitresses alone with thirty horny guys.

Of course, Daniel, the best man, ended up finding me. He cornered me, that fevered lust burning in his eyes as he closed in on me. He was slurring so badly I was having a hard time decoding his side of the conversation.

"So." He babbled, stumbling and spilling his beer. He looked at his hand as though the drink had abandoned ship. "No disrespect, but I know the "_extras_" this place offers, and my boy has got it bad for you. I was hoping you could give him a good send off into married life. You know, give him a night to remember."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I would love to, but I don't do that."

"Why not?"

"You have to have a license for that and I don't have one."

It was such a lie, and sober I was sure this guy would know that. The truth was yes the club did offer that service. It was Vegas. I, however, chose not to partake in such philandering. So politely declining was at my discretion.

"Oh come on, don't be such a bitch–"

"Woah, Danny. Take it easy buddy. We're here to have fun. Why don't you go get a drink or something?" Mike said from behind me.

I tried not to react, I worked so hard on keeping my face impassive, but there was so much history, so many memories that came with that voice that my feet itched with the need to run.

"You're right. Sorry, man." Danny laughed, slapping him on the shoulder and letting out a drunken cheer that went up in a wave, just as my relief walked in through the door, dressed as a cowgirl and sheriff. I guessed these guys were here for the duration.

"I'm sorry, Bella. He's really a good guy, just a shitty drunk."

"My name's Trinity, sweetheart. I think you're well on your way to a hangover," I said lightly, starting to walk toward the salvation that read: "_Staff Only_."

"I spent years thinking I was in love with you, Bella. You don't think I would recognize you?" He asked incredulously, his eyes lingering on my bare chest. It suddenly occurred to me that he'd probably, at some point, jacked off to something like this in his own head. It made me conscious of my nudity for the first time in almost two years.

"Excuse me."

"Bella Swan." He laughed, and I cringed at the use of my old name. This is what I'd been hoping to escape. I hadn't heard that name in what felt like a lifetime, and it brought back too many of the wounds I'd opened up that morning, effectively killing the last of my high.

"She died a long time ago, Mike."

"Appears so." He responded in a condescending tone, his hand reaching to cup my ass. I wanted to slap the smile right off his face as he leered at me.

"I'm sorry, my shift's over. Congratulations of getting married. She's a lucky woman." I spat, sliding past him and working toward the door that seemed to get further away with each step in this waking nightmare.

"Oh come on, Bella. You can't dance in front of me all night and not tell me what the hell is going on. People have been looking for you. What the hell happened?"

"None of your goddamn business, Mike. Leave it alone and forget you ever saw me."

I could already feel my palms getting damp as the last of my drugs bled from my body. The calm collected girl I was while I was doped up was slipping away, and in her place was the irritated, frustrated junkie that needed another hit soon. I may have known Mike, but if I pissed him off, that wouldn't matter to Brian. He was a paying client, which meant he got what he wanted, well other than sex if it wasn't offered.

"No, we should talk, Bella. I'll tell the guys I'm going back to the hotel."

"I don't want to talk. I have nothing to say to you. I got nothing to say to anyone."

"Well then we don't talk." He snorted, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. As if I hadn't felt cheap and low as it was, now I felt like a certified whore. I could do this job because I was anonymous, now it was like reality had hit and I was being forced to look at my life, and worse; I was being coerced into doing it sober.

"Have a good night, sir."

I pushed past him without apology and through the door. My back hitting the wall hard on the other side of it as it swung closed behind me. I ran my hands through my hair as I tried to get my calm back. I didn't want anyone else seeing me this rattled.

The moment I was in the changing room, I dug through my bag with desperation and found my kit, hidden inside a make up bag, and clutched it to my chest. I knew I had to get some things out of the way before I could lose myself in it, so I buried it back inside and stripped, grabbing a towel and heading to the showers.

I stood under the hot water and let it pound the sweat and shame from my body. As twinges of actual memories started to surface, I turned off the water and stumbled back to my bag, pulling on my clothes. Leaving my shoes where they were, I clutched the small make-up bag and almost ran to the stalls in the bathroom.

I locked myself in and made up a small dose that would be enough to get me out of here and to bed and slid the needle between my toes and depressed the plunger.

As the drugs hit my bloodstream everything fell into slow motion around me, and my body fell into a deep state of relaxation. It took me to a place where I was free and I didn't have to concentrate. A place where I was free from my past and Mike fucking Newton.

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**Authors Note: **I know it's still rough to read. I know Bella is very rough around the edges. She may seem relaxed and calm, but the fact is the drugs have wiped away a lot of who she is and this shell of a person is in her place. Every time an emotion comes too close to the surface, she drowns it in the drugs. I know there may be some of you that don't particularly like this subject or predicament, but if it makes you feel any better there will be a happy ending. Much later, but she will get there.

Thank you to all of you who have read, added to favorites and alerts and for reviewing. Your feedback is appreciated. Thank you for your continued support. I hope you're able to continue the journey with me, but I can understand if you can't. It's not exactly an easy subject and Bella is in her own personal hell.

As always, thanks to Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie for your support and amazing friendship. You know I love you both more than words!

**MWAH!**


	3. Chapter 3: Hell!

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 3: Hell!**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer, it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

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_Blood blood blood  
__Pump mud through my veins  
__I'm a dirty, dirty girl  
__I want it filthy_

_**Blood by In This Moment**_

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"Bella, honey. Open the door, it's Ryan."

I shuddered as I focused on the sounds coming from the other side of the door; sounds I now knew weren't my imagination. I was at a loss to know how much time I'd been sat on the toilet. Leaning against the wall, my clammy skin sticking to the paint. Images of Mike had been haunting me for a while now, bordering on hallucinations. I'd taken another dose when the visions of that sardonic smile hit me, and I was feeling jittery and nauseous. Considering where I was, it seemed to be the right place at the right time kind of deal.

I knew I shouldn't have let him get to me, but after that first hit and the dirty high it had given me, I needed that extra boost to wipe clean my mind. I couldn't have that look he gave me replaying over and over again.

"Bella, you either open the door, or I break it down. I would prefer the prior."

Feeling oddly passive, I tucked my shit into its hiding place in the tampon packaging, shoved it back in the make-up bag and flicked the lock open. If there was someone I didn't want to see me this fucked up, it was Ryan. He was a good guy and already cared about me more than he should have.

The door eased open, and I saw the handsome face, filled with worry as he looked at me.

"How'd you know I was in here?" I croaked, pushing my damp hair from my face. At least I knew I hadn't been in there long enough for my hair to dry after my shower. That gave me anywhere between five minutes to an hour and a half. It was the curse of having thick hair.

"Candi. She saw you coming in here. She mentioned the two of you had talked and knew we were friends. She said one of the guys in the den was bothering you. She was worried."

This was why I didn't make friends. They talked, and having people spreading your shit around was just plain bullshit. I liked to deal with my problems alone.

"That was nice of her," I said sarcastically, brushing my hair back again, and attempting to sit up.

"Look," Ryan said gently. "I know you never talk about your past. I haven't ever asked you about it and I don't plan to, but I do need to know if I have to go into the den and set a motherfucker straight."

"No, just leave it alone. He's not worth it. I just freaked out a little bit. I haven't seen him in almost six years."

"You don't have to put up with assholes like that, Bella. I already told you, you come see me."

I nodded and swayed on the seat, which meant Ryan and his chivalrous self reached out to steady me. The smell of him was so masculine it flooded my body and hit my sex drive like a freight train. I tried to shake it off, but I pulled him closer, which only sent him the signal to continue being his thoughtful self.

"How much have you had to drink?" he finally asked, brushing my hair back from my face. I could have kissed him for that alone. I'd never much thought about what I would do if someone other than Misty found out about my dependence. I didn't really want to find out either.

"Too much."

"Then I'm taking you home."

"You don't have to do that. I'm perfectly capable of calling a cab."

Ryan sighed and sat back on his heels, his eyes trying to connect with mine. He should have known better than to even try. I hadn't made eye contact with anyone since I'd seen Jacob last. I winced as the name echoed through my mind and crushed what little self-esteem I had left. Rather than letting Ryan see any kind of emotion, I closed my eyes and dropped my head to my chest.

"Dave's on the early, but you stay here, and I'll ask him to trade."

"No, Ryan. You don't have to do that."

He dropped a kiss to the crown of my head and whispered, "I want to. Don't move."

Then he was gone.

I hated how much that tiny piece of contact had affected me. How that small kiss seemed to mean more to me than any of the sex I'd had lately. Somehow the bastard had made me feel something, and that was too dangerous. There was no way in hell he was going to let me walk out of here and get into a cab, and it scared me.

I pulled myself up from the toilet using the wall on either side of me, and stumbled as I straightened out. My shoulder caught the edge of the door at a weird angle and it slammed into me, jerking me off balance enough to bounce off the walls of the stall. I knew it should have hurt in some capacity, but I was too numb to feel a damn thing.

I slammed the door out of the way and picked up my make-up bag before stumbling toward the sinks. My feet weren't landing in the right way and I kept swaying as I walked. I could do nothing but curse myself for that second hit. It was a stupid, dumb move, and I should have waited until I got home. Now I was stuck getting a ride from Ryan.

As I looked up and into the mirror, I squinted at my reflection. I looked like shit. My hair was a ball of frizz that looked like I'd been playing with an electrical socket. I dug through the bag I had in my hand, glad that I had the foresight to make an effort to put shit I actually used in it. I pulled out a brush and a hair tie, and made an attempt to pull my hair back. Unfortunately, with my vision as fucked up as it was, it came out lumpy and disheveled looking, but it was as good as it was going to get, and I knew it.

I washed my face with cold water in an attempt to sober up, but the temptation of drowning myself became too much. This was the lowest I'd ever been, and as much as I just wanted to be alone to work through it, I knew I didn't have that luxury. The reminder of that walked into the room as I stumbled toward the door in a bid for freedom.

"Thought you could do a runner, did you?" Ryan teased, catching me as I staggered toward him.

"No. Just going to get my shit. Though if I'd thought of it earlier..."

"You would have fallen on your ass trying to move that fast?"

I gave him my middle finger, which only made him laugh at me. As I once again attempted to walk, he decided I was a lost cause, and wrapped his arm around my waist and helped me.

With his help, I got my things together and made it to the door without anyone asking questions. I thought we were home free, but the moment the door opened to the dancing light painting the cars, I realized it wasn't going to be that easy. A limo was pulled up close to the front door, and leaning against it with his arms crossed was Mike fucking Newton.

He pushed off the car and walked toward me, but didn't get very far. With a flick of Ryan's wrist, Dave was by our side looking as intimidating as ever.

"There's no need for all of that. Bella and I are old friends. Aren't we Bella." He stated rather than asked. Even in this painted light, I could still he still had that baby face and the dark bond hair that reminded me of a golden retriever. Did he honestly think he was intimidating? Did he think that I would agree with him?

I just stared at him, attempting to block every memory I had with him in it, because undoubtedly if Mike was in them, there would also be a flash of _him_ and that wasn't something I wanted. I'd had enough of that this morning.

"If that was true, she wouldn't have asked me to escort her home."

"So she can't speak for herself?" Mike asked, his tone acidic.

"Sure I can. Fuck off, Mike." I smiled sweetly and attempted to get some dignity back and stand on my own two feet, but Ryan was like a rock by my side, his arm an iron bar around my waist.

Ryan and Dave both laughed. Ryan started to move us around Mike's steadfast figure, but his hand shot out and gripped my upper arm, stopping me from moving.

"Let her go, man. This is your last warning." Dave growled, moving to my side ready to rip his arm from his socket if he found it necessary.

"Fine, but–"

"But nothing. I advise you go and get your friends and settle your bill, you're not welcome here."

Mike dropped my arm and pushed past Dave and me toward the club. Dave slapped Ryan on the back and followed Mike, leaving us a clean getaway. At least this way I knew we wouldn't be followed. I wasn't generally that paranoid, but at the same time, the last thing I needed was for anyone from my old life knowing where I lived.

Ryan didn't say a word to me the whole drive to my apartment. When we stopped at red lights he would cast concerned glances at me, but other than that, there was very little interaction between us. The truth was; I had nothing to say. What could I say? Thanks for driving my junkie ass home? I'm sorry I had a mental breakdown when someone from my past laid eyes on me?

When we finally pulled into my space at the apartment complex, he turned off the engine, and we both sat in silence, staring at the building in front of us.

"Listen, Bella. I don't want to know who that guy was or why he was so persistent, but I would feel better if you'd let me stay for a while. Just to make sure he doesn't track you down."

"You want to come up for coffee?" I teased, feeling a little better, and a lot horny. I couldn't believe my body was rebelling the way it was. I knew that if anything happened between Ryan and I, it would complicate things and I would end up having to move on. I may not have been happy where I was, but I was content and comfortable.

"As long as its just coffee."

I nodded and pushed open the door, the fresh air making me a little steadier on my feet as I straightened out. I opened the back door and pulled out my bag before heading to the stairs that led to my apartment. Ryan caught up quickly, and pulled the bag from my shoulders and followed me up, his hands obviously ready to catch me if I fell.

It wasn't until I was stood outside the door with my keys in my hand that I realized there was a chance I'd left some of my paraphernalia lying around after the confrontation this morning.

"Ryan, would you give me five seconds to clean up. I'm embarrassed to say I'm a bit of a slob."

"I don't care, but if it makes you feel better–"

"It does. Believe me I'm lazy as shit."

He laughed and swept his arm in front of him as though telling me to get on with it. I gave him a smile and unlocked the door, slipping inside my generally clean apartment. I checked every surface and hid everything that suggested my poison of choice, and then made the bed. My eyes scanned the place to make sure there wasn't something I'd missed before I pulled open the door and stepped out of the way.

Ryan entered with a certain amount of curiosity. His eyes lingered on the art on the walls. I knew he was probably one of the few people to actually realize there were no personal photos lying around the place like you'd see in most people's apartments. Even people who lost family made up for it with a family of friends, but that was exactly the kind of thing I avoided. Being close to me was dangerous, and I wouldn't be responsible for another death, and my heart couldn't handle another loss.

"Where the hell did you find this place? My storage room is bigger than this."

"Shut up. Its cheap and cozy and its home for me. I think it has character."

"Of course you do." He laughed, falling onto my couch and picking up the remote to my television.

"Make yourself at home."

"Already done." He snorted, flicking through the channels.

I knew he was going to be disappointed. I only had an HD antenna and got the most basic of channels. As I strolled into the kitchen to make sure the coffee was not the proverbial kind, I heard him mutter under his breath.

"You can say it." I shouted to him.

"Please tell me you at least have DVD's or the Internet."

"I have DVD's."

"Where?"

I strolled out of the kitchen and to the dresser where my television sat. I pulled open the bottom drawer that held my twenty DVD's with pride.

"You're a glutton for punishment." He laughed, his finger moving over the spines. "Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, Sense and Sensibility, Wuthering Heights... You ever heard of an action movie?"

"I have books. You could always read one of those," I said, pointing to the multiple shelves, taking up most of the space in the apartment. "You do know how to read, right?"

"Ouch. Put those claws away."

I laughed and pushed a couple of the DVD's aside and pulled out the only action movie I had. I finished making the coffee and sat watching the movie with him, waiting for something that wasn't ever going to happen to pass. There was no way that Mike Newton would find me. I'd been careful not to leave too much of a paper trail, and unless he knew I'd changed my name, it was useless. Bella Swan didn't exist anymore.

I must have fallen asleep on the couch, but when I woke up I was on my bed, Ryan was wrapped around me, the smell of him eclipsing everything else in my dirty brain as I slowly came awake. It shouldn't have been as comforting as it was to me. Having a warm body there, a body that belonged to a person I trusted, it was nice. For the first time in a long time, I didn't wake up in a panic wondering where I was or who was close. When I relented and snuggled into him rather than rolling away, I knew I had a serious problem.

"I hope you don't mind that I moved you," he said groggily, pulling me in tighter, just as I'd made the decision to move away from him.

"No I appreciate it," I said, my voice sounding like a ninety-year-old smokers. I stretched and made an attempt to move out of his embrace, but he held me in place, a deep rumble in his chest telling me he was laughing.

"Not yet. I may never get to do this again."

He wouldn't, but rather than saying as much, I stayed in place and let him hold me. I absorbed the warmth of his body next to mine and indulged in the small piece of emotional attachment I'd had in years. I was playing a dangerous game, but I hadn't had this in so long I couldn't force myself to move. Having a connection on any level was too much for me, but it was the first time that I'd woken up and not reached for my fix. His presence next to me seemed to keep not only the cravings away, but the memories too.

"I wish you would give me a chance."

"Ryan–"

"No. Just hear me out. Stop being such a stubborn pain in the ass."

My silence seemed to give him the motivation he needed to continue his speech. I knew I should have said no, but once again I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was certain I would pay for it later after he'd left and I had a whole day to fill.

"You and me, we have a lot in common. More than probably you even know about. I know there's something in your past you're running from. Like I said before, I don't want to know what it is and I don't need to know. You've made it more than clear it's not something you want to discuss. You should know that I left behind a story in my hometown too. I don't know if it's anything like yours, but we have that in common so there'd never be any misunderstanding. You know I would look after you though. I have a day job as well as a job at the club, and I would treat you the way you deserve to be treated."

He ran his hand through my hair and held me to his chest where my eyes were closed, watching the pink behind my eyelids glow as I absorbed his words. It was a nice thought, but the fact was I couldn't ever let him get that close. If Victoria ever found me, he would be her first target, and I couldn't lose another person to her. Then there was the fact that I wasn't sure I was capable of getting past my past heartbreaks. I would end up fucking things up, and I didn't want to lose the only connection I had with another human being because I was too emotionally damaged.

I let my hand rest on his chest and felt his heart beating in a steady thrum as he waited for my response. I wasn't sure if this was hope or fear of rejection, but I couldn't think about that. I had to be honest with him. He had to know I wasn't a good person, that I was so broken on the inside that I would poison him.

"Ryan, you know that you're probably the only person I have even come close to letting in, but I'm not who you think I am, and I would only end up hurting you. Knowing I'm saving you from that is the only thing I can ever offer you. I don't want to lose the friendship I have with you, please don't ask me to do this."

He squeezed me so tight that I was sure my ribs were about to break. I could hear his gentle breaths as he accepted my answer. For a moment I was relieved that he hadn't rolled away with disgust. The last person that had tried to get that close had done exactly that, and had then asked me to leave.

Selfishly, I wasn't ready to let go of him. He was the closest thing I had to a friend.

"I don't know who did this to you, Bella. But they deserve to have their asses kicked for it."

"How do you know it wasn't me?"

"Because whether you like it or not, I can see a small part of the person you used to be shining through. I see the pain that resonates from your eyes while you dance. You go somewhere else while you're up on that stage."

Didn't he paint quite the portrait, and the worst part was, he'd hit the nail on the head. That was why I had to say no. He knew there was something under all of the layers of protection I put up, and last night, I was sure he'd seen the part of me that was broken beyond repair. I'd found love twice in one lifetime. There weren't many people that could say the same thing. Both times, I had been let down, and I'd been punished for it. My love wasn't good enough to keep, and I had grown to accept that. Testing the limits would only end in heartache.

I was destined to be alone with a stream of meaningless relationships. I'd lived a full life, and on more than one occasion thought I was the luckiest person on earth to have that. Then it was ripped away from me. Not once, but three times, and I couldn't live through that again.

"Say something."

"There's nothing to say." I sighed. Shifting my body so I was on my stomach. I sat up and looked at the pillow at the side of his head. I couldn't give him eye contact, not even while I was sober. "I go somewhere else when I dance because I can't stand thinking about my life. I'm in a destructive pattern. You have your whole life in front of you, with a hope of having real love and a family, but I'm not it. I can't be it. You're the only person that's got anywhere near being close to me, and I already feel like I'm dragging you down."

"If all you can offer is friendship, I will gladly take that."

"That's all I can offer." And even that was a stretch.

"Then that's fine."

He lifted his head and kissed my forehead before releasing me from his arms. I glanced at his face and saw something akin to disappointment there, and knew I had to get him out of the apartment so I could lose the memory of this and everything else in a big fix. I was still sober, and still free of memories, and if I let myself realize that for much longer, I would crave his company. He would replace my bad habit, and as tempting as that was, I knew it would only end in destruction. A ruination of anything good left in me, I wouldn't live through that, I couldn't.

"You want some coffee?" I asked, shifting away from him and off the bed.

"That would be great." He answered with a level of resignation in his tone.

I made us both coffee and we made small talk as we stood around my kitchenette drinking it. We hugged goodbye, and I watched him walk to his car and drive away into the warm afternoon. I could see the freeway from my door, and stood transfixed as I watched all of the cars pass with a destination in mind.

I tried not to think about what could be if I let myself live, and tried to focus on the one thing that would ensure that I would never get my happy ending. I was still sober, and though the memory of Victoria was painful, it was at least a real emotion. One that wasn't pain, or disappointment, it wasn't even sadness. It was anger. The thought of Victoria being out there and looming over a possibility of a future pissed me off.

There were days that I wished I could rewind my life and replay it knowing what I knew now. If I'd had the foresight of the life I would live and the people I would lose, I would have let her kill me. I wouldn't have fought to live, because it just wasn't worth it. What was the point of living if all you could do in order to breathe was jack up your veins with junk? I honestly wished I had the balls to end it all, and I'd tried before, but when it came down to it, I didn't have the courage to do it.

I used to be one of those people that thought suicide was a coward's way out, that you would have to be a weak person to end it all. It was so easy to question it when you didn't know the dark side of life. I'd learned over the years that it was weak to give up, but it took a certain kind of determination and grit to actually go through with it.

I shook off my own misery and backed inside my apartment, locking the door behind me. The odd sense of normalcy seemed to hang in the air, and I made the most of it, picking up one of my books and opening it to the page I'd left it at. I had two days off, and the thought of lying around in a drug-induced stupor wasn't exactly my idea of fun. If I could put it off for as long as I could, there was a chance that I could lose myself in a different way. I also had to remember to go and get my damn car.

I curled up on the couch and fell into the words that gave me another world to lose myself in. Hoping my mind would let me keep the reprieve I was currently experiencing. The rest of it, I could deal with later.

* * *

**Authors Note: ** Still a little bit scattered and down on herself but Bella is lucid now. Ryan is completely into her, and I think if she'd let herself live she could be happy with him, but she can't let herself go like that and she can't even imagine having a life while Victoria is out there stalking her. She's under the impression that the red headed witch would steal and semblance of happiness from her. I don't think she's wrong either. The question is, does Victoria know where she is?

I would like to thank all of you for your support and as I've said before I won't take offense if you can't commit to this story because of the subject matter. I know that it's a real life problem out in the real world that continues to grow.

PinkIndeed... Thank you for being so supportive. You and I had a chat about this a long time ago. You're an inspiration and I appreciate you letting me run with the idea and taking it to a weird place lol! I love ya girly!

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie... You two are amazing friends and the best support system a girl could ask for! I love you to the moon and stars and back!

**MWAH!**

N'miss


	4. Chapter 4: Just Keeps Getting Better

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 4: Just Keeps Getting Better**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer, it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

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_We are hungry, we are all tired.  
__Our tongues they are all on fire.  
__The walls that we build are higher, higher, higher, higher._

_**Dystopia (The Earth is On Fire) by YACHT**_

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The reading plan worked for a while. It was a miracle worker for keeping away memories, but all too soon the withdrawals found me. It was like an insatiable hunger clawing its way from the inside out I continued to force myself to read, letting my leg tap out its impatience as I tried to ignore the symptoms.

I could feel my skin growing clammy after a while, the need no longer allowing my negligence as it shook me from the inside out. It occasionally pulled me out of the story drawing my attention to it as I took a second to mop my face with my t-shirt.

I was proud of myself for going almost a full day without a fix, but when the shakes set in and I could no longer read the words on the page, due to the vibrations, I gave in and made my way over to the gym bag so I could indulge.

I only made myself a tiny amount. It was probably less than half of my normal intake, but it still left me incapacitated. The hours following the ingestion were a haze of colors and sound as the television played to itself. That was the thing about the first couple of hours of my high, I couldn't do anything but I was still semi-conscious of what the hell was going on around me. It just took on a fucked up dream quality with tracers and a lot of confusion. It was in that time when everything slid away and left me numb. Nothing mattered, and I sure as hell didn't think about anything. Life and everything bad in it just played out around me.

My first lucid moment came to my when my phone started going ballistic on the coffee table, demanding my attention. For a moment, I stared at it in bewilderment, stunned that it was going off at all. Not many people had my number, and even fewer used it. As my curiosity got the better of me, I rolled from the couch and crawled to the table on all fours, noting the several different textures in the cheap fiber of the carpet below my hands and feet. With effort, I sat and tried to focus. So I slid the bar across the screen to answer it.

"Hello?" I asked with caution. My voice was thick from disuse. I probably sounded like shit, but I was still feeling good and could have given a shit if I was being quite honest.

"Did I wake you up, beautiful?" Ryan asked, the sound of the club pounding out in the background. I knew he was on the door because I could hear the rumble of the customers as they waited for admittance. I forgot some people had to work tonight.

"Yeah." I lied, thinking it was better than thinking up an excuse of my own. I stretched out like a cat, arching my back, my bones popping in succession, before I leaned back against the chair closest to me.

"You want me to let you go?"

"No. I'm awake now." I replied cheerfully, pulling my legs to my chest and getting comfortable. "And you never call me, so this is a nice surprise. I didn't even know you had my number."

"I didn't. I stole it from your employee file while Brian was fucking Misty in one of the private rooms. I figured you wouldn't mind."

"Brian and Misty?"

"Yeah. They've been at it for a while now. You didn't know that?"

I snorted down the phone in response and figured he must have been the one who'd knocked Misty up. For a second I actually considered sharing that piece of information, but the truth was I preferred to keep things like that to myself. I liked keeping a low profile; it meant that I wasn't implicated when the shit hit the fan. Gossiping like a granny was not conducive to keeping my head down. For me, it was easier to absorb the information and let it go, storing it in the back of my head to chew on later when it couldn't get me in trouble.

"Nope, not a clue."

"You must be the only one. Don't you pay attention while you're here?"

"Not really." I admitted. Hell he'd said himself that I went somewhere else while I was dancing, and he hadn't been wrong. I didn't so much have a happy place, it was more of a sensory depravation hole where I didn't have to hear, see, feel or think.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"Shut up." I laughed. It was nice to know that the talk earlier that morning hadn't made things awkward between us. There were a lot of guys that would see that as a rejection and become a dick as a way to reassure himself. Not Ryan though. He really was a decent guy. My worry about rejecting him in a more serious setting was seemingly unfounded. This banter was our usual style, and the thought that he was calling at all should have proved that already.

"So other than sleeping, what did you do today?" he asked. I could hear the music in the background changing to one of my favorites and I smiled. Whether or not it was a dignified position to have, I loved my job. Who wouldn't love jamming out to an amazing soundtrack, even if I were getting naked while I did it?

"I read. You know those things in my apartment filled with paper that have words on them."

"Where did you come up with this idea that I don't read?"

"Sports Illustrated and Playboy don't count, handsome. Though I'm sure those articles are well thought out and structured."

"Well, what about John Grisham or Wilbur Smith? Do they count? Or aren't they old enough for your taste?"

I sat open mouthed even though he couldn't see me. John Grisham's _The Testament_ had been one of my favorite escapes in the beginning of this mess. Losing myself in the words had been the only way I could stop fixating on what had happened and what I'd left behind. Of course, I couldn't bring myself to knock on Luke's door to get it back, and I hadn't got around to replacing it. Though now I thought about it, I would have to run by and pick up a copy at some point.

"Bella?"

"Sorry, I was thinking about how impressed I was. The Testament is one of my favorites. You caught me off-guard."

"Score for the meat head then?"

"I'm sorry, were you feeling misunderstood and underappreciated?"

He laughed down the line, but the sound cut off when a noise in the background reared up and someone in the background asked him a question. I could hear his mumbled response and a shout in the distance before he got back on the line.

"I'm gonna have to call you back, babe. I gotta take care of something."

"You have my number."

"I sure do." He chuckled, before hanging up.

I hit the end button on my phone and slid it onto the table in front of me, unable to stop the smile that was still dancing on my lips. The bastard had a way of making me feel something akin to happiness. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but I'd become so accustomed to wallowing in my own self-pity it was definitely a change.

Pushing up onto my shaky legs, I stretched out again. I had to force myself to eat something. If you didn't want people knowing you had a slight problem with narcotics, the first step, for me at least, was to make sure I didn't drastically lose weight. One look and people would see right through your bullshit. As it turned out, it was also my only rule for exotic dancing. No one liked to look at a bag of bones shaking their coccyx at them. It was unattractive. Unattractive meant no tips. So it was a necessity to eat, whether I was hungry or not.

I stumbled around my apartment on jellied legs as I waited for my frozen pizza to cook. I tried picking up my book again, but when the words turned into indecipherable code, I figured my brain was still a little too fried just yet. So instead, I turned to my second love, Pride and prejudice, and the ever-charming Mr. Darcy. I liked to fantasize what my life would have been like had I met Darcy rather than Elizabeth, sure he was an ass in the beginning, but he was a rich guy that had thought status was everything. It was when he realized how much of an ass he was that he changed his ways. Though through all his faults, he never faltered in his affection for Lizzy. That was something I'd thought about a lot in my life since I'd left Forks.

Shaking off the morose feelings, I curled up on the couch with my pizza and nibbled at it as the characters frolicked on the screen and I tried not to think about how much I wanted a love like that.

Again.

Just as Darcy was making his first attempt at a marriage proposal, my phone rang pulling me out of the little world that had absorbed me into it and back into the steely bitch that was reality. I glared at my phone before pulling it off the table and staring at the 'unknown' at the top of the screen. Being unlisted wasn't exactly unusual in Vegas, half of Vegas seemed to think they had something to hide, and when you had a gambling problem and were hiding from loan sharks I guess it made sense. Having not paid attention to Ryan's number when he called earlier, I figured it had to be him calling back.

"Mr. Darcy, is that you?" I asked, snorting a little as I waited for some sardonic response from Ryan. Being this goofy meant I had too many drugs still in my bloodstream. "Hello?"

When there was still no response, I hung up, figuring the stranger with the wrong number really didn't appreciate my sense of humor. Well that, or they were horrible uncultured. Either way, I'd always found it rude to not say anything, even when you had a wrong number. It only took a second to explain the faux pas before moving on.

When I leaned forward to grab the remote from the table, the phone rang again with the same 'unknown' it had the first time. I was tempted not to answer it at all, but the melting pot I called my brain, hadn't processed the common sense to see whether the call that actually had come from Ryan was listed or not. I actually convinced myself it would be rude _not_ to answer.

"Hello?"

I waited for a while to make sure I wasn't just being impatient. But after another "Hello?" and more silence, it was pretty clear that the asshole on the other end of the line had the wrong number again.

"Listen asshole, you obviously don't know me or you would talk. Seeing as you can't even extend that courtesy, fuck off and leave me alone."

I hung up with a satisfied nod and scrolled through my call log. Apparently, Ryan didn't have a gambling problem, because his ten-digit number stared back at me from the call log. I save him as a contact to solve further confusion, and hit play on my movie.

As it turned out, Ryan did end up calling back just as I was crawling into bed. Actually seeing his name on my screen made me feel a lot better about answering this time around.

"Well hello, I thought you'd forgotten about me." I sang into the phone, that gluttonous smile tickling at the corners of my mouth.

"You seriously think I could do that while I'm stood at the door staring at your car?"

"Shit. I forgot about that. Son of a bitch."

"I figured you had. Do you want me to pick you up on my way to work tomorrow night?

I thought about what I had planned over the next two days, and shrugged, once again realizing that he couldn't actually see my reaction.

"I don't need it. Do you think you could pick me up on Tuesday though?"

"I don't know about that. You see, I _am_ going in that direction, and I _am _going to pass right by your apartment." He went silent for a minute and let the sound of another of my favorite songs pound out in the background. My small smile was now a full curve of lips. "You drive a hard bargain, Bella, but you're on."

"Is that disappointment I hear? Anyone would think you hadn't seen me in a month." I teased, fluffing my pillows and studiously ignoring the fact that his smell lingered on the one he'd used.

"You know me so well. Still, it's probably best you're out for another night."

"Why do you say that?"

"One of your stalkers friends stopped by and asked about you. Dave and I took care of it, but he really didn't like hearing the word no too much."

"What did he look like?" I asked, thinking that it could have been anyone from his bachelor party, but there was also a possibility he went back to Forks and blabbed his mouth and Jacob had heard it. That wasn't something I wanted to deal with anytime soon.

"Tall and blond."

I searched my hazy mind for images of the guys at the bachelor party in the den. My only recollection of a tall blond guy had been the best man, Dennis, or was that Danny?

"From your vague description, it sounds as though it was his best man. Probably best if you pretend you don't know what they're talking about. Just act as though there's no one named Bella there. Ever."

"Bella–"

"I'm fine. I'd just rather not have anyone there know my real name. It saves problems from happening."

"You got it, beautiful, it's your call after all. I'll see you Tuesday night, but call me if you get bored."

"I will." I grinned, a small groan rumbling in my throat as I sank into the bed. I felt tired down to my bones. "Goodnight, Ryan."

"Wait. You're going to bed? What are you wearing?"

"Goodnight." I laughed, shaking my head. There was something comforting in his innuendo. For me, it was easier to deal with than the serious conversation we'd had. This was the kind of conversation we normally shared. It set definitive lines in the sand and left no room for misinterpretation... Okay so that was bullshit. I knew he was flirting with me because he meant it. I just kept him at arms length this way, which was something he could understand.

"Night." He finally chuckled. The music drowning out the other conversations buzzing around in the background as he returned to his post.

Hitting end on my phone, I hooked it up to charge, before killing the lights and rolling over and, blissfully, passing out.

I spent my next day off much the same as I had the previous one. I read for as long as I could, but the need hit me stronger and a lot sooner than it had the day before. I attributed that to the fact that I'd only taken a half dose, and it had been my only fix all day. Commendable, but I was paying for it. As much as I liked to think I didn't have an addiction, I was starting to see that I was lying to myself. I depended on it. I needed it. Even if I didn't exactly want it, my body craved it, and would continue to crave it until I lost all rationality. It called out to the place it knew I'd hidden the stash, and there was no denying the calling.

All I could do was try and cut down my dose and spread them out as much as I could until I could call it recreational again. If my small interaction with Ryan had taught me anything, it was that I needed to clean up and deal with all the shit like an adult. I would never be normal, hell, I didn't want to be, and I could never trust myself to love again, but I could go on. I could honor my dad's memory and try to be as close to the person he believed I was as I could get.

I'd gone to bed feeling more hopeful than I had in years. As I curled up under the covers I pat myself on the back for coming up with a good plan. A plan I could stick to in some small respect. All I could do was promise to try, and as I closed my eyes and the dark enveloped me I promised to do just that...

Right up until I woke up in the middle of the night in my sweat dampened sheets that were tangled around my limbs as I kicked myself out of a nightmare. The red eyes and red hair of my would-be murderer lingered in the dark room, imprinted onto the back of my eyelids.

Dammit. It was a face I knew well, a face that had haunted me for years. My overheated body turned to ice as I found myself unable to shake the reenactment of my dad's death that had just played, on repeat, verbatim. I knew that I was deluding myself in my wistful dreams of sobriety and actually having any kind of life at all. I was destined to die by Victoria's hand, and the heroin was the only thing making the hours in between bearable.

This was what happened when I got complacent. I let down my walls and the bitch never hesitated in coming back into my subconscious to remind me that she hung over my head like death itself. She may not know where I was at that moment, but it didn't mean she wouldn't find me eventually. In fact, I believed she counted on it.

I'd been an idiot to think I could live a normal life. It was a romantic notion that would never come to fruition, because I spent my life looking over my shoulder for her.

When I woke up the next morning, I took a full hit and lay on my back as the warmth spread through my veins and carried me away into a world where the only thing that mattered was the spinning of the fan over my head, and the gentle thrum of the blades as it whirled. I stayed where I was all day, ignoring my food rule. I didn't want to ruin the effect of the high that was washing through me and lingering as a convenient little cover over my problems that lay piled in t he corner.

I glanced at the clock periodically, and only moved when I absolutely had to get in the shower and get ready for work.

The sun had long disappeared from the sky when I opened the door to greet Ryan. He was leaned against the frame in his suit with a smile that made some deeply buried part of me stir. He was, as always, well groomed and completely and devastatingly handsome, and his eyes made their usual circuit over me, making my skin tingle. He was dangerous, especially for someone as weak as I constantly was.

"Your chariot awaits, my lady."

"You're such a gentleman," I said in response with a smile, fighting the urge to squeeze his cheeks... and kiss him.

_Bad Bella. _

He swept into a bow before taking my bag from me, and backing out of the way so I could lock the door. He chattered all the way to the club, either not noticing my lack of participation, or choosing to ignore it. For me, it was nice to just listen to him twitter on. It mellowed me out until I was relaxed enough to finally join in with his laughter. He'd somehow managed to drown out the echo of the nightmare that had slowly started creeping back into my consciousness, for which, I was grateful.

He pulled the car into the spot next to mine and killed the engine, both of his hands landing on the steering wheel as he stared out the window. The neon light flashed and lit up his handsome features as he took a deep breath.

"Here we are," he finally said. "If one of those jackasses from the den shows up, you come and get me. I don't give a shit what Brian says."

"Did they show up again last night?" I asked, a little concerned that this was still an ongoing thing. I hadn't given it much thought, but that was only because I hadn't had the inclination to think much at all. It was a side effect I didn't see that much problem with until it was too late.

"Yeah, but I think it was a different guy. They're persistent, I'll give them that."

Somehow, that didn't reassure me. I'd never had a problem in the club before. Sure, some of the guys got a little brave with their hands at times, but that was about the crux of it. As far as I was concerned, it was my place of work and I needed to keep my personal shit out of there. I just hoped that Mike was considerate enough to keep this to himself and leave this alone once he left Vegas. The last thing I needed was Victoria hearing it through the grapevine.

"Hey, Ryan, could you do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"If anyone asks for me, or Bella Swan, just tell them you've never heard of her. Pretend you don't know me at all."

"That's easy," he said with a wink. "I don't know a Bella, but there's is this beautiful woman called Trinity that I would love to seduce."

I leaned over the console of his car and planted a kiss on his cheek before getting out and pulling my bag with me. I was ready to start my shift and lose myself in the music. The thought of not having another day off for a week seemed like a great thing for me.

I used to hate being the center of attention. There was a time in my life, if someone so much as looked at me, I would go into full blush mode and hide behind my hair. That wasn't the case anymore. For me, it gave me a sense of power and control knowing I could lure these men in by taking off my clothes and shaking my ass at them. Having their eyes follow me as I worked the pole meant I could, in some way, fulfill a fantasy of theirs. So that's what I did.

With my eyes drowsy and hooded, I ground myself against the pole in time to the music. I hung upside down with my hands tangled in my hair as though the pole were my lover, my hips gyrating as the bass took over my body. I got the men's attention, then made them beg for more, giving them glimpses of the pleasure I could bring them for the right price.

I never slept with them, I hadn't fallen that deep into the rabbit hole. I did, however, give them a dance that kept them coming back for more.

I crawled toward one of my regulars with a predatory smile. He always carried a wad of fifties on him, and just loved to slide his hand up my thigh to deposit them. I didn't feel the touches, I never did. I was too numb to feel anything but the music. It rolled down my spine and rocked my hips, making my legs shake as though I'd just got off.

I cradled my breasts before sliding my hand down the damp skin that covered my ribs. I lowered myself onto my stomach slowly and stuck my ass into the air, smiling as expletives and groans of lust were shared among the men who were offered the view. Bills were folded and tucked into the sad excuse for underwear as the last of my time on the main stage played out.

My high was boosted as the rush of adrenaline from my exhibitionism flooded my veins. I scooped up some of the bills that had fallen loose and sauntered from the stage, much to the disappointment of the men I'd enraptured.

"Trinity, you have a private room in five," Brian said, as I shoved cash into the locked box with my name on it. We each had one as a safety measure. Brian had seen too many fights breaking out when cash went missing from bags in the locker room.

"That was fast."

"It's why you're one of my top acts."

I shook my head as he slapped my ass and wandered away. I grabbed a towel and headed toward the changing room to dry off and change into something new. It was routine, which made it as easy as breathing for me. I didn't have to think about it at all, and for me, that was perfect. Dress, strip, and repeat... Easy!

"Girl, you lucked out." Candi laughed as I entered and grabbed one of the thin towels from the rack. "I saw the guy that requested you, and hot damn, he's pretty."

"The guy with the fifties?" I asked, scrunching up my nose.

Sure I was very accommodating and alluring to his face, but he was far from handsome, let alone pretty. Still, I was paid to make him feel like the only man on the planet, so that's what I did, as long as they didn't touch me of course.

"Oh God, no. He asked, but the other guy got there first. Look like you're forming a waiting list."

"Ooh. Now I'm curious."

"You should be. Don't keep him waiting, Hun. It would be a shame to lose him to one of these piranhas."

I changed as quickly as I could, my curiosity getting the better of me. I may not have much hope for the future, but dammit, I could still look and appreciate, and if he was a decent tipper, it was all the better for me, right? Touching up my make-up quickly, I headed to the private rooms.

There was a small gathering outside of room five that still had the door open as was customary. They whores weren't even being subtle about their gawking, which, considering the fact that we'd had celebrities before, was quite unusual.

Confused, I stepped through the crowd and into the room, giving the girls a grin before pushing the door closed between us. Music was filtering in from the main club, pounding into the dim light of the gaudily decorated room.

With a sway of my hips, I turned to face the man that had managed to cause a stir among the girls. My heart faltered and stuttered as I blinked to see if I was seeing reality. As I came face to face with the guy, it took everything in me not to stagger and flee from the room. If Mike Newton had been a surprise, this was a fucking waking nightmare.

Sat on the red velvet bench was a man whose name I could no longer ignore. A man that had promised he would stay away, and had through most of the traumatic times in my life.

Edward Cullen, cool as a cucumber, had just walked back into my world, sat in the middle of it like he owned it and me... and boy was I pissed.

* * *

**Authors Note: **_First, let me say I hope that everyone of you who are on the East Coast of the States are well and safe and made it through the storm. The visuals coming from around there have been harrowing, and you've all been in my thoughts!_

Thank you also to **Trackstar17** for the amazing music suggestions! I have almost all of them on my spotify playlists now!

Edward's back... Bella doesn't seem happy to see him at all does she! I would definitely say that Mike had been anything but quiet about what he'd seen! There's a lot of ways for Bella to handle this situation... I wonder which road she'll decide to take... ;)

Thank you to everyone who reads, alerts favorites and of course reviews. You guys are amazing and I am so sorry the RR's have come a little late the last few weeks. I am hoping to fix that! I would also like to apologize to those of you that sign in as guests to review. Some of you ask questions and I have absolutely no way to answer you lol! Thank you though! You guys are amazing and I hope you all know how much I appreciate your time in reading this! It means a lot to me!

To PinkIndeed... You're awesome! Thank you for listening to my cases of crazies lol! I will never get used to the randomness that is our conversations!

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie... There are no words, sisters from other misters! I love you both so very much and I have no way to thank you for your trust and loyalty! I love you beyond it all...

**MWAH!**


	5. Chapter 5: Facing the Past

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 5: Facing the Past**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer, it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_Now I stand here  
__Nothing to hide like the new born  
__Hungry and wild  
__But the ground I want to explore  
__Doesn't feel like before_

_**Skin Graph by Silversun Pickups**_

* * *

I tried to keep the tremble of my hands to a minimum as I found my center of gravity. I hadn't expected this. I hadn't in a million years thought that Edward Cullen would ever walk back into my life again. Even saying his name while he was in front of me was like pouring salt in an open wound. It was at this point that I realized I had two choices.

I could turn around and leave the room, and the man behind, and let him know how much he affected me, or, I could just get on with it and walk away with my dignity.

It would have been so easy to turn around and flee. I'd run from hard situations my whole life, but that was exactly the reason why I couldn't do it. I wasn't the naive girl from Forks anymore. I couldn't let him know how much he'd fucked up my life.

So I did the only thing I could do; I continued as though he was nothing but a regular customer.

The first step I took toward him was shaky, but with each one that followed I found my confidence in the rhythm of the music surrounding me. I swung my hips and pulled on my predatory smile as I approached him. His surprise fed my confidence, and I stopped just shy of him and swayed my hips, my hands tangling in my hair before sliding over my shoulders and my breasts.

"Bella–"

"I'm sorry, honey, my name is Trinity," I said, untying the string at the back of my neck that held the micro halter neck dress in place. As the knot gave up, and the straps fell, the dress slid over my body like a lovers hands, dancing over my skin on its steady descent.

I could see the determination in his face as he sat forward with his fingers templed. I hated how well I knew him. I loathed that every move he made triggered off some distant memory. He had no right to be in that room with me, and if I did nothing else that night, I would make him walk away regretting his decision.

Before he could say a word, I stepped out of the pool the dress had made around my six-inch heels. I sauntered toward him, my hands gripping his shoulders and sliding down his arms to his cool hands. I brought them up slowly and pressed them again my bra-clad chest, throwing my head back and dancing to the beat of the music as my hair hung freely.

I let the music control my movements, even when he pulled his hands away as though I was made of fire. I placed my hands on his knees, my ass in the air as I leaned forward giving him the view of my chest as I shuffled my tits from side to side.

He could act as contrite and coy as he wanted, but I could see exactly were his amber eyes were directed, and it wasn't at my face. Using his legs as leverage, I moved my ass down to the floor my knees together. I lowered myself back to the ground in a roll that started in my hips. He was enthralled as he watched me, and I was certain he stopped breathing. I lifted one heeled foot and ran it up his pant leg, I got within an inch of his dick when he grabbed my ankle with his cool hand and moved it away.

I almost swore out loud as I realized he was playing hard to get, so I decided it was better to amp up my moves. The song changed to something a little more provocative in a seamless beat, and I moved accordingly, rising to my feet and rolling my body as my hands explored my exposed skin. I was still wearing my bra, but it didn't matter, I could see his eyes trying to drink in every inch of me as I moved. His hands balling beside him as my body held him captive.

My hands moved nimbly to the clasp of the bra in my back, and unhooked it. The straps fell loose on my shoulders and I smiled as his eyes widened even further. I hated to admit it, but the power I had over him made me feel more alive than I had in years. It urged on my body so my hips twisted and my body rolled.

In a sweep of my hips, I turned and bent forward, letting the bra slide down my arms and to the floor as my ass shook for his sole viewing pleasure. I worked my body, and for a moment forgot who was behind me, watching, as the beat took control of my instincts and swept me up into its clutches.

I knew I would have to touch him eventually. He was paying for a lap dance, and he would get his money's worth. It would be the first, and last time it would ever happen too. He could come back as often as he wanted, but he would always find one of the other girls keeping him company, because I refused to let myself get in a situation like this again. He may have caught me by surprise this time, but I was a quick learner and I'd be damned if I'd let him lord his presence over me.

I moved closer to him, and noted his eyes lingering on my naked chest. With my knees landing either side of his legs, I pushed up so his view would get a little closer. As his cool breath slashed over my skin, I arched away from him, my hands on his knees to support me.

I honestly believed he wasn't going to touch me at all, even when I rolled my hips against his, rubbing up against his half mast dick. Then I felt his palm on my stomach. It moved slowly upward, between my ribs and then the valley of my breasts. I could feel my body tremble under his touch, it started in my thighs and moved north to the one place he'd never had the inclination to satisfy me.

I continued my movements, ignoring my shameful reaction as I worked. As he moved his hand, I felt the edge of his thumb brush up against the swell of my chest making my breath stutter. I knew I shouldn't be enjoying it. I shouldn't have let it affect me the way it did, but I couldn't stop myself. The need overtook my body and sent thrills down my spine as he reacted to me.

I worked my way back up to my knees and slid off the bench, watching as his hand took a free fall from my chest to his side. What had started as payback, was now sucking us both into the moment together. I tried not to think too much as I continued to dance, I tried not to let the excitement of knowing he was going to touch me again swell inside my chest, but there was no stopping it.

I lowered myself onto his lap, my ass rolling against his erection as my thighs shook from excitement. I leaned back into him, my shoulders coming up against his chest as my hands moved up and linked behind his neck. I'd forgotten how soft his hair was, my fingers buried themselves into the downy hair at the nape of his neck and brought back all of those moments we'd been together. All of the empty promises he'd fed me, the lie that he had ever loved me. That thought alone cleared my head quickly and my participation once again turned into teasing.

I ground into him with my ass until he growled from above me. His hands lifted from their place beside me as I slowed, and he gripped my hips, rocking my body over him again as he bucked up to meet me. I stopped myself from falling back into the moment with him, and tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling his head back as I dropped down on him a little harder than necessary.

I could hear his growl grow more guttural the more I ground and danced against him. Normally, there was no touching, especially not this kind of touching. I liked to tease them and occasionally slipped, letting my ass fall into their laps before I bent over and gave them the money shot. Them touching my assets, for lack of a better term, was a definite no no, and that rule was long throw out of the window in here, with Edward.

As I moved to get up, his arm moved across my waist, holding me against him as his nose moved along my jaw line. He inhaled deeply and froze, his body like the marble statue I had so often compared him too. His free hand moved up to my neck, brushing the strands of my hair out of the way.

"Your blood smells different. Poisoned. What's going on?" He asked in a husky growl that sent my hips in another wave over the top of him. I'd never heard that tone of voice from him before, and it had been so long since I'd heard his voice at all that another shudder rolled through my body.

I knew I should have been concerned that he'd figured out there was something foreign in my bloodstream. I should have known that was my cue to leave, but instead, I rolled with the extra high the adrenaline was giving me. Instead, I continued to dance.

I unhooked his arm from around me and bent at the waist, my ass shaking on his lap as my hands traveled up my legs to my thighs. I leaned back against him again, but one hand stayed between my thighs, rubbing against along the folds there as I got myself off.

"Bella, stop."

I studiously ignored him, as I slinked out of his lap and onto my feet, where I continued to dance. When the light over the door flashed on and off, I smiled. I was proud of myself for getting through it. Now I could get on with my life, knowing I was actually capable of turning on Edward Cullen. And boy, was he turned on. As my eyes moved back to him, I could see the hunger there. I picked up one of the satin robes on the back of the door and pulled it around myself.

"This is the part where you pay me, _sir_."

He stayed in place, just staring at me like I was a piece of meat in a butcher's window. His face was as blank as ever, and I found myself getting angry again. I'd just given him the show of a lifetime and he was showing no emotion.

"You're–"

"Waiting to be paid," I said cutting him off. "Now if you don't mind, I have to be moving along. So if you could–"

"Bella, just talk to me."

"I don't want to fucking talk to you. I want to get on with my life."

"But–"

"I'm a junky stripper. Congratulations on stating the obvious. You know what; don't worry about it. It's on the house."

I turned around to open the door, but he was already there, leaning against it, and blocking my path. A new song started to blend in with the last one, and I crossed my arms over my chest and stared him down. He wasn't going to bully me anymore. I didn't care if he wanted to talk. I wasn't interested in anything he had to say.

I could feel the last of my high slipping away as my anger ate at the adrenaline I'd managed to get from the dance. The satin was sticking to my sweat dampened skin, and I knew it wasn't doing anything to help with the image I was trying to project, but it didn't matter.

"Get out of my way."

"Not until you talk to me."

"No."

"Bella–"

I'd really hoped to ignore making a scene, but he was making it impossible to do it. I made my way over to a small control panel that was hidden behind red velvet drapes, and pushed the panic button. Every room had one, most men in the club were drunk, and they seemed to forget that we weren't possessions that they could order around. This wasn't the first time that a guy had tried to lock a girl in a room, and it wouldn't be the last.

Before I'd even turned around, I could hear the banging on the door. I knew it wouldn't be easy for them to get in if Edward didn't want to let them in, but I was certain that he wouldn't want to make a scene either. In fact, I was counting in it.

"Trinity?" Ryan shouted. It sounded like he'd shouldered the door, but it didn't budge.

"I'm fine, but he won't let me out."

"Silent alarm?" Edward asked, his honey colored eyes locked on me.

I shrugged, and stayed where I was. I wasn't interested in appeasing him, so I kept my calm demeanor and glared right back at him.

"You have thirty seconds before I call the cops!" Ryan shouted, as the door rattled again under his weight. He wasn't going to back down and something about that thought eased me.

"Was that really necessary?"

"Twenty seconds."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and gave me another look.

"He's worried about you."

"It's his job."

"No, Bella. He's in love with you. He's getting ready to get a fire axe from the office to get you out. I can hear every thought he has about you."

"Ten seconds." Ryan called through the door more a growl than anything else. I'd never heard him so intent before, but I knew nothing good would come of the situation if Edward didn't move.

"Let me out, Edward."

"Can we talk later?" he said, moving away from the door, and to the opposite side of the room.

I walked to the paneled entrance, and before I pulled it open, I looked back at him aiming every ounce of hate I had directly at him. "No."

Ryan was pulling me from the room before I even had a chance to take a step. He pulled me against his chest and looked over my head. I knew he was staring down Edward, and had it been anyone else but him, I knew they would have been intimidated. Edward, however, was a vampire, and wasn't intimidated easily, especially not by a human.

"Get out of the club, and don't bother coming back. Did he pay you?" Ryan asked me, tucking me under his arm and putting himself between Edward and I.

"No, but I'm over it. I just want him gone."

"Trin–"

"It doesn't matter, Ryan. Just get rid of him."

Ryan looked between the two of us, his concern making lines pucker on his brow. He knew me well enough to know something serious had to have happened for me to not want to get paid. It would have been the same with any of the girls. He knew we didn't do what we did because we liked it. It was about making money to live.

"What did he do?"

I shook my head, removed myself from under Ryan's arm, and walked away. I wasn't interested in an inquiry. I wasn't interested in talking. I just wanted to get to my bag, and make all of this go away. I didn't have a high, I wasn't lost in the music, and I sure as hell wasn't aroused.

I may have been able to keep a death grip on the high while I was in that room with him, but now I was free, I needed to stop the memories from assaulting me. I kicked off my heels and left them where they were as I took off at a sprint to the locker room. I dug through my bag and pulled out the small makeup bag before heading into the bathroom and locking myself in the stall.

I prepared the hit quickly, with shaking hands, and pushed the needle deep into the space between my toes and hit the plunger. The rush was so quick and heady, I gripped the walls of the stall to steady myself, the needle pressing into my hand as my head and body went limp.

Everything around me was like a stop motion movie. I saw feet coming into the bathroom. I heard the flush through a tunnel, the drone of the water filling the tank. I heard the clop of heels on the linoleum. There was the occasional voice of someone on the phone, as they came in to escape the constant thud of the soundtrack in the background.

I tried to move, but it was impossible. My body was too heavy to move and my head was like a lead weight on a balloon pulling me further and further under. Everything else just floated away into the stratosphere, leaving me an empty shell.

I could hear my name being called from somewhere, but I ignored it as I pressed my cheek against the cool wall closest to me. When _his _voice started calling my name in my head, I started pressing my hands to my ears, my body getting too hot and clammy. I pushed my hair from my face and tried to get up but my legs were too weak to hold me. I slid down the wall.

I don't know how long I sat like that on the floor of the bathroom, and to be honest, I didn't really care. Even when the door was thrown open with force, and it hit me in the shoulder, I didn't move. Somewhere, buried beneath all of the shit, I realized it should have hurt, but I hadn't felt it. I didn't think I could ever feel anything again. My emotional circuitry was on overload, and even the immense amount of heroin in my bloodstream wasn't helping. I couldn't even lift my head to see who was stood there. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

"Oh shit, what did you do?" Ryan asked; his voice sounding distorted to me. I knew I had to look like shit. I wasn't even sure if I was covered. I couldn't focus my eyes on anything.

"What the hell happened?" Candi said from over his shoulder, handing him a wet paper towel.

"Some guy locked her in the room with him, and she freaked out and disappeared. I've been looking for her for an hour."

"The hot guy?"

Silence was met with her question, and I could only imagine how Ryan was looking at her. It made something in side of my click; Edward had said he was in love with me. I'd tried so hard to not let that happen. I'd wanted to protect him from me, and now he was seeing me at my lowest.

I fought to get control of my body and reached out to him, my hand, cupping his cheek as I struggled to keep motor functions.

"I'm so sorry." I slurred as the hot tracks of tears cut through the haze of my numb body. "You were never meant to love me."

"Holy shit," Candi said, her hand covering her mouth as my eyes finally focused on her scantily clad figure. I could see the pity there as she assessed me and as much as I hated it, I couldn't hate her for it. I'd brought it all on myself. I was the one that made the decision to obliterate reality with a needle and dangerous substance, and I realized in that moment I couldn't blame anyone but myself.

"Give us a minute would you?" Ryan said quietly, his eyes not moving from me. "And keep Brian away from here."

"Sure thing," Candi said quietly, backing away from us.

Ryan waited for her to close the door behind her before he helped me to my feet and led me to the counter, where he picked me up and sat me on the edge. He ran the faucet and picked up my hand, removing the needle that was lodged in my skin. He dropped it into the make up bag he'd picked up along with me.

If nothing else was obvious to me in that moment with him, I knew I was breaking his heart. I think he'd always known that I was broken, that there was something not quite right at certain times. Maybe it was a mystery that had, only just, become solved for him. The junkie stripper; I was a fucking cliché.

"What happened in there, Bella?" He finally asked, wiping the blood from my palm, before wetting another paper towel, and wiping my face with it. I felt like a child, but a cared for child and I couldn't find it in myself to push him away. In fact, it was just the opposite. I had a need to bring him closer, to open up to him.

"You remember I told you I was running from my past?"

"He one of the reasons?"

I nodded, and grabbed his suit jacket, pulling him so he was standing between my legs with his hands on either side of me. I was still entirely too fucked up to really conceive what I was doing, but I cupped his cheeks and finally looked in his eyes for the first time.

"You can't love me, Ryan. You can never love me."

"Isn't that my choice to make?"

"No. Because it will only end up getting you killed. Don't you see? She kills everyone I care about. I have to leave here, I have to keep you safe." I flinched. I hadn't meant to say quite so much but the drugs seemed to drop all of my defenses and walls.

"You're not making any sense. How much of that shit did you take?"

"You're not listening to me." I sobbed. "If he found me, she will too. You have to forget you ever met me."

"Who is she? And why would she kill the people you care about?"

I needed to shut my mouth and run. Fast and far before things became any worse than they already were. I couldn't keep talking, and yet, I couldn't seem to stop myself either. I was going to get us both killed.

"It's what she does. Edward killed her mate, and she's spent every moment since, trying to get retribution for that."

"Jesus, Bella. What did you get yourself into?"

"A death sentence."

Ryan pulled me against his chest, his arms wrapping around me and holding me tight to him. I should have pushed him away, but I physically and mentally couldn't find the strength to do it. Instead, I wrapped my arms around his waist and held on for dear life as I cried out every piece of heartache I had.

I would love to say that I changed my mind and told him that I was willing to take that risk, that I was going to try and be a better person, but lying never solved anything, and I knew I could never do that to him. He deserved to be with someone that would make him happy, a woman that could give him everything he needed emotionally, to give him a family and grow old with him.

None of that was in my future. I knew that now. I wasn't capable of loving like that, I would never have kids, and I would never grow old. Victoria would catch up with me eventually and she would do what she should have done years ago. She would finally get what she wanted, because I wouldn't run again. I wouldn't drift to another place and endanger more lives for my selfish need to live.

No matter what happened, or how she came at me, I would put myself between her and the people I cared about.

"Let me look after you."

"You can't," I said, feeling my consciousness nudge at the dirty high I was suffering. My fear of Ryan sacrificing himself for me was the only thing that seemed to break through it.

"There has to be something we can do? Did you go to the police?"

"It doesn't matter, believe me, there's nothing anyone can do. She killed my father, and he _was_ the chief of police. All of this," I said, waving my hands about before finding there place against his back again. "It's fiction. Everything you think is real; isn't. There's so much you don't know and no matter how much you want to save me, you can't. You have to let me go."

I pulled my hands away from his back and put my palms to his chest and pushed. If I was going to make the break, it had to be now. I couldn't keep going to him for consolation. It just confused things.

He stumbled away from me, hurt clearly written in his eyes as he watched me. The contrast between him and Edward was startling. I hadn't noticed it before because I refused to think about the person that had broken my heart the first time around. Now I'd been slapped in the face by his presence, I realized that loving Edward had been the first step in my demise. He was the epicenter of the disaster I called my life. I didn't blame him, I couldn't, he'd warned me against him enough, but I'd been the stubborn one, and ignored his warnings.

I had set all of this in motion by letting myself fall in love with him, and now I would never know what it was like to be with someone who could show me how they felt in a simple look. I would never know what it was like to love a human.

I slid down from the counter, stumbled on my heels and looked up at the man watching me. It was too late to think what if, because I knew how that turned out. All I could do was be the bigger person and walk away. I had to unsnarl the mess I had made, and find a way to draw the wrath of Victoria to me, and me alone.

I pushed up on my toes, and did the last selfish thing I could where Ryan was concerned. I pressed my lips against his and let the moment take me away from my harsh reality. It was my goodbye to him, and I hoped that one day he would forgive me for walking away like this.

His lips were warm and soft, they molded around mine as his arms circled my waist and pulled me to him. We clung to one another as our lips parted and our tongues explored the others mouth. He was so right; I lost myself in him, before I realized I was dragging out the inevitable.

I pulled away first, refusing to open my eyes and look at him. My hand was still resting on his chest, and I could feel his heart pounding against my palm as his breath washed over me in spurts.

"Goodbye, Ryan."

I stepped out of the circle of his arms, grabbed the make up bag on the counter and backed away toward the door, my eyes closed willing strength into me. My eyes fluttered open to catch him staring after me, his arms still reaching as though I would change my mind. As I opened the door, he didn't even attempt to come after me, and I knew it was for the best.

I took a deep breath as the door closed behind me, and made my way to the box that held my tips for the evening. I emptied it out and disappeared into the locker room, throwing on jeans and a tank top, before throwing everything I owned into my bag.

I took one last look around the locker room, and found it hard to be nostalgic about anything other than my interactions with Ryan in here. I'd never really been one for dramatic goodbyes, so I walked out of the door without looking back.

I tried not to alert anyone to my exit, and thankfully, Ryan wasn't back at the door when I left. It made things easier; no prolonged goodbye that I knew would inevitably break my heart. I was so full of contradictions. I'd changed my mind half a dozen times on the long walk out of the club. When I emerged I still had no idea what I was doing or how to execute it. My head was a myriad of thoughts that neither made sense nor helped a damn thing.

The neon lights from the sign on the top of the club lit my path for the last night, and as I reached my car, I dug my keys out and fumbled at the lock as the emotions threatened to become too much. Just as the lock clicked open, I felt a small prick in my arm and looked down to see a needle being depressed into my arm.

As my consciousness slipped, I saw a deathly white arm shoot out to catch me.

* * *

**Authors Note: **I'm curious to know how many of you thought she would run, and how many thought it would play out the way it did lol! Bella may be broken but there was an inkling of pride left in there that made sure she didn't run. I think in a way she was trying to prove to Edward and herself that she'd chosen this path and was sticking beside her decision. (_I just want to mention that one of the song she dances to was **Vessel by Zola Jesus**._)

Again I want to thank you guys for being so amazing and for reading, alerting and adding the story to your favorites! Also for the amazing reviews... You guys always humble me with your responses and I wish there was a better way to thank you for taking the time to do that!

PinkIndeed... Thank you for being you and for everything you do! I am so lucky to call you friend!

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie... What can I say that I haven't already said! You're both amazing and your continued support and love blows me away! I don't know what I did to deserve you! But I love you both!

**MWAH!**


	6. Chapter 6: Expectations

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 6: Expectations**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer, it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_So I bare my skin  
__And I count my sins  
__And I close my eyes  
__And I take it in  
__And I'm bleeding out_

_**Bleeding Out by Imagine Dragons**_

* * *

Consciousness hit me like a circuit coming online. Everything lit up too quickly and flared to life making my head pound against my skull. My mouth felt like sandpaper, and as I tried to swallow I almost choked because there was nothing there to swallow with. A freight train would have been easier to deal with than that.

I shifted on a soft bed that wasn't my own, and my eyes flickered open in panic as what little I remembered flooded back into my consciousness like a sledgehammer. I remembered being at the club, taking a big hit and saying goodbye to Ryan, but that was pretty much it, then the rest of it unraveled.

"Son of a bitch." I groaned, sitting up and looking around the dark room. It took a second for my eyes to focus, but I was sure I was in a hotel, the penthouse from what I could tell from the huge window wall that was looking out over the strip. I could see a light under the door that probably led to the main rooms, and the en suite bathroom door was stood open.

Just as I came full circle, I saw my abductor sitting in a chair, watching me with caution.

"This is classed as kidnapping you know, asshole."

He didn't say anything, just handed me a glass of water. I would loved to have been as petulant as I could be, but my mouth was so dry I would have probably said please if I'd had to wait any longer.

"What are you doing in Vegas?" I asked, after gulping down the full glass. I still craved more, but I could get it myself now that I'd whet my whistle. "Let me guess, one of you is getting married again, or are you the groom to be? No wait, are you squandering your fortune. No, I know, you're looking for a way to pass the time, because you got bored breaking girls hearts and leaving them for dead?"

"Leaving them for dead?"

I pulled back the covers and swung my legs from the bed. I knew it was a mistake as soon I was stretched out fully. The ground began rushing up at me and started spinning out of control. Cool arms caught me around the waist long before I hit the ground and set me back on my feet.

"Get your hands off me."

"Bella, you can barely stand. Let me–"

"Get your fucking hands off me or I will scream until someone listens. You're such a fucking bully, Edward. You always were."

"Bully?"

I shook my head and waved him off, staggering toward the bathroom where I hit the lights and shut the door behind me. I filled up the glass on the counter three times before the dryness finally went away. Then I had to get rid of some of the damn stuff in my bladder.

By the time I'd washed my hands and wandered back into the room, I was a little steadier on my feet. I stood in the doorway between the room and watched Edward pace across the room, deep in thought. I may not have been around vampires in almost six years, and I sure as hell hadn't burned off that many brain cells that I'd forgotten their super senses.

"Cut the shit, Edward. You know I've been stood here."

"How long have you been inducing heroin?"

I put my finger to my bottom lip and looked to the ceiling as though I were thinking. "Let's see . . . None of your damn business."

"Really mature."

I smiled at him and crossed my arms. I didn't want to be here, and the sooner he realized that the better. I didn't need his sympathy or his help. He'd made it perfectly clear how he felt about me years ago, and I couldn't have cared less whether he felt he owed it to me or not. I wasn't a charity case; I'd been surviving well enough on my own thank you very much.

"Really? Says the guy who doped me up and dragged me to his hotel room."

"You wouldn't listen."

"That's because I have a little something called free will. Just because you have super strength doesn't mean you have the right to drag me around. I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions."

"Yeah I can see where that got you."

"Fuck you, Edward. You don't know a damn thing about me, or what I've had to endure over the last six years. You're the one that walked out of my life. You have no right to waltz back on into it, and you sure as hell don't have the right to make decisions for me. Who the hell do you think you are?"

"This wasn't how I wanted this to go."

I laugh maniacally and made my way over to the closet and pulled it open.

"What are you doing?"

"Leaving. Where's my bag?"

"You can't go."

I turned around and glared at him, my hatred rising to the surface like a volcano. I couldn't believe he was still trying to control me. Some things never changed. I'd spent a lot of time revising my relationship with him after he'd left. He'd always thought he'd known what was best for me. He always manipulated me into making decisions because he thought it was what was best. I used to think I was stubborn, but the fact of the matter was, he'd always had me under his thumb. He'd say jump and I'd ask how high.

If he thought I was still that person, he was in for a huge shock.

"My bag?"

"Living room."

I marched across the room and pulled open the door and almost stumbled back into the room. All of the Cullen's were sitting in the living room looking awkward as they glanced up at me. I threw up my arms in frustration. It was like walking into an owlry, only they were all unmoving.

"Great. You're all here. Lucky me."

I stomped across the room and picked up my bag, heading toward the door not even realizing my feet were bare. Before I could even get there, Edward was ahead of me, already pressed against it. I was getting tired of playing that game with him. He really wasn't getting the hint.

"Move, Edward."

"Not until you talk to me."

I ran my free hand through my hair and threw my head back in exasperation. For someone with super hearing, he was crap at actually listening. I wasn't sure how many times I had to say it for it to sink in, but I was tired of sounding like a broken record.

"I don't want to talk to you. I have nothing to say to you and I know you have nothing that's worth listening to. You never change, do you? You had a chance to talk to me six years ago but you chose to walk away. Now I have a choice, and I am choosing to walk away this time."

"You have a problem, Bella."

"Oh I know that. I'm looking at it."

"No, your drug problem."

I stamped on the spot with frustration and growled through my teeth. I couldn't believe he was seriously doing this to me. I heard Emmett chuckle from somewhere in the room, and turned to glare at him. I was pleased to see he had the grace to shut the fuck up and look apologetic.

"Move."

"No!"

"Move!"

"No."

I spun around and marched back to the bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I didn't want him following me, but then that hadn't ever stopped him before. I dumped my bag on the bed and dug through it, pulling out my phone.

Just as I was dialing, I saw the make up bag in amongst my things. I grabbed it and sprinted across the room to the bathroom where I locked myself in and turned on the shower. I opened up my bag and unpacked my kit onto the counter. I started putting together my hit and hopped up onto the cool marble, pulling one of my feet up with me. I'd barely got the needle between my toes when the door burst open.

Edward was in front of me before I could even blink, but I had the junky reflexes to depress the plunger anyway. I didn't get much into my body, but it was enough to send a shudder through my body, and a floating feeling to ease through me. It would have to do until I got the fuck out of my own personal hell.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

I laughed, and leaned back against the condensation-covered mirror. I watched as his face contorted with anger, and again as it turned back into the stoic mask of indifference. It was kind of freaky watching it while the drugs made their way through my body.

"Pull the stick out of your ass." I snorted, my body melting off the counter. I gave him a condescending pat on the shoulder and floated past him into the bedroom. Deciding there was nothing of interest in there, I continued into the living room and fell onto the couch between Emmett and Rosalie and put my feet up on the coffee table as they all stared at me with different measures of disbelief.

We sat in silence, I would have said it was an awkward silence, but I was on my own little cloud and barely noticed. Even though I could feel their eyes on me as I flopped forward trying to reach the remote.

"You know, I remember you all being much more fun than this. You do realize not one of you has said a word to me since I opened that door." I pointed to the bedroom door where Edward was stood frowning at me.

"Bella, I–" Alice started, but I just couldn't listen to her talk.

"No, wait. I decided I don't _want _you to talk to me."

I pulled my legs up to my body and pushed up so I was stood on the couch. I looked around the room locating my exits, and it seemed I only had two choices, get to the door, or nosedive off the balcony. Taking a chance, I leaped over the back of the couch and sprinted for the door, but Edward was there before I'd made it half way.

"Damn. I forgot how fast you guys really are." I groaned, circling with my hands on my hips. Deciding I would try my luck on the balcony, I headed to the glass door and slid it open and stepped out into the desert night air. I walked to the edge and leaned against the wall and looked down. We were on the top floor, of course.

"You think it would hurt?" I asked, looking over my shoulder at the seven set's of eyes watching me. I whistled as I made my fingers free fall over the balcony. When no one replied, I began to get the feeling I'd broken the Cullens. Other than Edward, Alice had been the only one to even attempt to talk to me, and I'd shut her up.

"Who are you?" Rosalie finally asked, getting up from the couch I'd just made the leap from. She sashayed to the balcony door and slipped past Edward as I leaned back on the balcony with my elbows.

"Is that a trick question?"

She snorted in her usual elegant way and made her way toward me, taking up the space beside me, her elbows folding on the wall as she looked out across the city. The gentle breeze caught the ends of hair and fanned it out around her like angel wings, and I found myself reaching out and capturing a few strands between my fingers.

"What shampoo do you use? Its so soft."

"I get it, you don't want to talk to the asshole in there, but this is me, Bella. We were never what either of us would consider close, so lets cut the shit."

"What makes you think I want to talk to any of you?"

"Because you're in self destruction mode. You think we wouldn't notice that? Alice hasn't been able to see you properly in years. She thought that you'd somehow managed to block her. When the truth is you weren't consciously making decisions."

"I really didn't miss this."

She turned to look at me, but I let my head fall back at gazed at the city upside down. As engaging as she was, I really had to call Ryan and tell him I was all right. I doubted they had the foresight to break into my car, and if they did, I knew Dave would have seen something. There was no way that my abduction had gone unnoticed.

"Miss what, Bella? You know you're really not following through on your train of thought here."

"The condescending way in which all of you speak to me. I may be human but I'm not an idiot, and if you want to know why I'm so pissed off, it's because your asshole of a brother kidnapped me. You can't just go around forcing people to do things they don't want to do. You may not understand my life right now, but I don't expect you to. None of you gave a shit when you left, you less than anyone. So why start now?"

Rosalie laughed; the sound of it was like gentle wind chimes on the nighttime breeze. I forgot just how competent they were at making me feel like shit about myself. It was bad enough that I was at rock bottom, but the fact that she was stood next to me flaunting all of her perfection well it felt like kicking a dead dog.

"You know, I actually respect you right now. I always thought that you let people walk all over you, and here you are fighting back and making a stand. For what its worth, I never hated you, Bella."

"Sure, but you're not going to bust me out of here, are you."

"No can do, you've seen Edward when he gets his panties into a twist."

"Why am I here?"

Rosalie glanced back through the wall of window, her eyes obviously finding Edwards. I had no inclination to look in his direction, so whatever was communicated between the two of them, I was ignorant about. All I wanted was to get my shit, and get out. If they couldn't respect that, well I would spend the whole time trying to find away around it. All too soon the withdrawals would set in, and it was amazing how resourceful I could be when I needed a fix.

If I had to talk it out with someone, it may as well have been Rosalie. At least she was honest. I'd rather not talk to any of them at all, but my ticket out of here was to listen to the shit they were selling, then I would do it.

"We heard a rumor, so we came to check it out."

"Why?"

"Regardless of what that idiot told you, we do actually care."

"Bullshit. Why are you really here?"

"Because we care."

"Why won't you let me leave?"

"Because you've got a drug problem."

"Which is none of your business," I said, rolling my head to look at her. "You seriously can't just show up after six years and think its okay to try and fix my life."

"Wasn't my idea."

That was a no brainer, but I didn't hold it against her. She wasn't the type of person to go up for the humanitarian of the year award. It wasn't in her DNA. I didn't even take it personally.

The truth was, I didn't care whose idea this was, and I just wanted them to leave me the hell alone. They'd already fucked up my life enough. I would have been fine if they'd stayed away. I wouldn't have fallen apart in the club if Edward hadn't have shown up, and I sure as hell wouldn't have been forced to confront how much I actually cared about Ryan. My life would have gone on as it always had, I would have gone to work, blissfully ignorant of the fact that I was capable of caring.

Somehow, they'd all decided that it wasn't in the cards. They'd decided to come and torture me some more, because my life just wasn't dramatic enough. I had no idea whether they were aware of what happened after they left, and it didn't really matter, because all of my walls were in place, and I was an impenetrable fortress.

I just had to get the hell out of here. I may not have wanted to answer any of their questions, but it didn't stop the answer from flashing in my mind. The only choice I had was to keep asking them questions, and steer them away from my past. I couldn't let myself remember, I didn't even have the blissful escape of drugs right now because they'd been confiscated by my asshole ex.

"Look, you want to get out of here, I know that almost as much as you do, but the more you act like a stranger, the more they're going to hesitate in letting you go home."

"Rose, this _is_ me. I'm sorry I'm not the naive girl you left behind, but she died a long time ago. If you don't like this version of me, I'm sorry, but it's who I am, and I don't make apologies for it."

"You're saying that you just don't care?"

"No, I don't. There was a time when I would have been so happy to see you all, but its long since passed and too much shit has happened since then. You don't know the first thing about my life now, so you and your family have no right to judge me. I'm sorry if it's not the answer you want, but it's the only one I have. Now, if you'll excuse me."

I pushed off the wall and made my way to the doors that were still stood open. I didn't even look at the faces that were turned in my direction. I'd given them all I was willing to give, and they weren't going to keep me hostage.

I walked into the bathroom and threw all of my things back in my bag and picked up my phone. I dialed nine-one-one, and left it there without pressing send. If they wanted to play hardball, then I would be a willing participant, but I hoped they didn't expect me to be passive in return.

I hooked my bag over my shoulder and made my way to the door again, that already had Edward stood in front of it. I knew he wouldn't let me leave, which was exactly why I had emergency services on the phone. I held up the phone and waved it in front of him. Human laws didn't mean much to vampires, but the fear of being discovered did, and I was cashing in my card. I hit send, and almost laughed as he pulled the phone from my hand, his fingers pressing the end button to no avail.

"It works on body heat, asshole."

"I could just break it."

"Then you'll be replacing it, or alternatively scraping me up off the pavilion in bloody chunks."

"A bit dramatic don't you think?"

"Edward . . ." Jasper said, his voice trailing off as he obviously had a silent conversation. He wasn't paying attention to the phone in his hand and I was certain he hadn't noticed the counter start. It was only when the voice started talking did his attention turn back to the phone. He handed it to me and nodded, stepping out of the way of the door so I could pass.

I pulled the phone up to my ear and took a deep breath as I made my escape.

"I am so sorry, my nephew had my phone and unlocked it somehow. I'm sorry for the inconvenience, I'll make sure it doesn't happen again."

"Thank you," the voice said on the other end of the line and disconnected as the elevator doors opened up in front of me.

I stepped in, and saw Edward staring at me through the open door. I had a feeling it wouldn't be the last time I saw him, but Jasper had seen some inside of me that had made him back off, and whatever that was, I hoped I could keep it around so he'd stay away.

* * *

**Authors Note: **So it was Edward, and for all of you that were worrying about the drugs along with the heroin, Edward called Carlisle first to make sure it wouldn't have any adverse effects. I don't think Bella's going to be forgiving them anytime soon. Seems she can't get passed the past. Maybe that's a good thing considering her state of mid.

Thank you to all of you who read, favorite, alert and review also. You guys stun me with your kindness. I love conversing with you in the RR's, and I look forward to it every week. You're all amazing and you're also the best! I love y'all.

If you would like to find the playlist on Spotify, my username is _**Nostalgicmiss**_. If you do a search and go to the users section you should see me there MWAH!

PinkIndeed... You're insane and I love you for it lol! MWAH!

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie... I wouldn't know what to do without you girls. I love you both so much!

**MWAH!**


	7. Chapter 7: Non Compos Mentis

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 7: Non Compos Mentis**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_Broken lines, across my mirror  
__Show my face, all red and bruised  
__And though I screamed and I screamed, well, no one came running  
__No I wasn't saved, I wasn't safe from you_

_**Under The Water by The Pretty Reckless**_

* * *

I made a stop on my way back to my apartment. Well, I actually made two if I was going to get technical about it. I had been right about my car not being at the casino too. I'd searched the parking garage for three levels to no avail before I finally figured out that it had been left at the club. Fortunately, however, the keys had been thoughtfully dropped into my bag. I had to appreciate the small things in life otherwise I would fall into a state of misery never to resurface.

So, I got into the cab and gave the driver directions to the club. When I had looked over his shoulder at his dash, I realized that I'd either gone back in time, or I'd lost a day to whatever cocktail of drugs Edward had given me. I stayed silent for the whole drive, trying my best not to think about where I'd just been and whom I'd just been with. The miniscule hit I'd managed to get in was already wearing off, and it was only a matter of time until the memories would start assaulting me.

It was no small mercy that the ride wasn't too long, and I paid the driver as he pulled up at the club with the cash I'd made the night before, before sliding out from the back seat on the opposite side to the entrance of the club. I could see Dave and Ryan stood at the door in deep conversation, and hoped, that for the first time that night, luck would be on my side.

I managed to get into my car before I was finally spotted. Ryan's eyes locked onto me as I started the engine, and I could see the indecision written on his face as we stared at one another hopelessly. He wanted to talk to me, but he also wanted to respect my wishes and I appreciated that. After being abducted, it was nice knowing there was at least one person that was willing to give me the space I'd asked for even if he didn't necessarily agree with it.

It wasn't like I didn't want to talk to him as well. I may have only started to allow myself to realize how much I'd let him in over the past year and a half, but after the confession in the bathroom I'd been the one to let _him_ go.

I pulled out of the spot and took off, unsure of what I wanted anymore. Seeing Edward and his family had been really difficult. Each face in that room had brought back different memories for me. Memories I had been trying to suppress for so long that I could practically feel the fissures inside of me begin to separate again. Probably the most painful were those involving my father. Alice had been a huge part of my recuperation after the disaster in Arizona with James. She'd saved him the embarrassment of bathing his fully developed teenage daughter, and the two of them had got along like a house on fire. Just seeing her face had brought back so many memories of the time when I was laid upon the couch with my leg in a cast. It also progressed to more memories.

Those few years after the Cullens had left, Dad and I had managed to build a close relationship, even more so after I graduated. At least one night a week, Jacob and I would make sure we had no plans with the pack or anyone else, and spend the night with dad, either in front of the television, or playing a board game. He hated to lose. I wasn't sure if it was just the men in my life, or men in general but it was the only time in my life I'd ever heard my dad curse with feeling.

He refused outright to play _Scrabble_ with me at all. He'd told me it was because he was tired of looking up words in the dictionary. When the truth was, he just hated to fail miserably against his teenage daughter. So, Jacob and I let him become _Pictionary_ champion so we could at least have one game he wouldn't refuse to play.

Those nights had always been the nights I'd laughed the hardest and just let myself be sucked into the normalcy of it all. He approved of my boyfriend, not that he had much choice being that Jacob was dad's best friends son, and he no longer seemed to look at me as just his little girl. We'd become friends, but not in the weird convoluted role reversal way I had with my mom. Dad and I had too much in common and I knew he would still tell me to go to bed if he thought it was best for me. It's just the way we were together.

As I shut off the memories, I realized that somehow, in my stumble down memory lane, I'd managed to end up outside of my dealers house. My engine was idling as my hands twisted the leather of the steering wheel with my palms. Now that the floodgates had been opened, I needed drugs more than ever. Edward had undoubtedly flushed what he'd taken from me in his room, so it wouldn't be long until the beast awoke and clawed at my gut with the burning need it always seemed to have when it reared its ugly head.

Even the recognition of where I was seemed to perk the beast up, its ears pricking up in interest as my eyes scanned the edges of the windows for light. I'd only had the smallest amount in the hotel room, and I'd need it to calm down. At least, that's what I kept telling myself. It's amazing what you can convince yourself of when you're body craves chemicals that starve your brain of oxygen... Or was that something else?

I guess I was already succeeding in killing off brain cells.

I drummed out a beat on the steering wheel as I talked myself into it and out of buying it again. This was Tony we were talking about, not the crazy motherfucker Misty had sent me to. I couldn't believe that after only a couple of hours with the fucking Cullens I was second-guessing myself yet again. This wasn't who I was anymore, and I hated them for reverting me into that particular bad habit.

Making a final decision, and reprimanding myself for being such a sap, I turned off the engine and got out of my car. I leaned against the side of it as nonchalantly as I could while looking down both sides of the road to make sure I hadn't been followed. I should have just waited to come during the day when it would have been more difficult for people of the vampire variety to follow me. They would stick out like a sore thumb as they walked around looking like something a showgirl would wear around their neck. The desert sun would have been more than adequate to force them inside. I just didn't know if _I_ could go that long without a fix.

Shaking my head, I decided that if I was going to do it, I should just get it over with. I was an adult, and more than capable of making my own decisions. Just because Edward had the strength to manipulate me, didn't mean that he could bully me into his way of thinking. I'd lived this long without his opinion.

I wasn't in the house for long when I finally decided that I was going to do what the hell I wanted to do. Tony knew me well enough to understand what I needed. I didn't deviate very often. So it was a matter of him getting things together, me handing over the cash and heading on my merry way. I could see my agitation was making him nervous, but a short explanation of running too low and going too long seemed to abate his paranoia.

Having already informally quit my job, all I had to do was sit around in my apartment and wait for another part of my past to catch up with me and finish what she'd started. I'd meant everything I'd thought about at the club. I wasn't going to run anymore. I was going to wait for her to finish me off for good. If I started running out of money, there was more than one club I could shake my ass at, it was Vegas, and being the good little girl I was, I'd had the foresight to put some cash into savings.

I knew that was the defeatist way of looking at things, but what else was I supposed to do? Look over my shoulder for the rest of my life and wonder if she was there just waiting for me to step out of line and do something stupid? I was so tired. I was tired of doing the drugs to escape my memories; tired of always waiting for her to pop out from a shadow and rip my life apart before giving me a slow death. I was tired of walking around in a haze and not knowing what was coming next. I was tired of seeking validation in empty one night stands that offered very little gratification because it wouldn't be the one person that they'd shared a trait with. I was tired of breathing and fighting for a life that meant nothing, because I had no one I loved.

To run would be to fight for my life, and I just wasn't sure there was a point anymore. Even if I thought Ryan could be this huge part of my life, what if I did let him in and I got him killed simply for being with me?

It was easier to cut off that bud of emotion before it bloomed into something that resembled hope. I couldn't afford to put myself in that situation, so closing myself off from even the possibility was the only hope I had.

As I headed back to my car, my eyes darted down the street again. I was searching for the lurker I knew would be there. With as anal and controlling as Edward was, there was no way he could let me make this decision for myself. He must have been supremely bored to visit one of his charity cases again, but I was beyond that. I just couldn't care. Jasper had convinced him to let me go, and I knew Edward wouldn't give up that easily so all I had to do was wait for him to jump out of the shadows and demand to know what I was doing. I wasn't sure why he had such an insatiable need to fix me; I just hoped he'd managed to understand that I didn't want to be fixed.

As I jogged around to the drivers side of the car, I actually thought I may have won this battle, but Edward was leaned against the door, his arms crossed over his chest with a smug smile that suggested he'd been there the whole time. I made a point of ignoring him and slid the keys into the lock, and twisting before pulling them back into my hand.

"Give the drugs to me, Bella."

"No."

I pulled open the door, but he leaned his weight against it, ensuring that it shut again. His weight and strength were enough to guarantee I wouldn't get it open, which meant there was no escaping him or the smug look on his face. He was starting to drive me insane, and his growing inability to catch a hint was growing very old.

"Look, you tried. That's as good as it's going to get because I'm an adult and have the ability to make my own decisions."

Edward looked at me as though I was crazy, there wasn't even a hint of defeat in his features, but then that was one of the bonuses of being what he was. Hiding emotion was as easy as walking for them. Rather than letting it bother him, he watched me, waiting for me to add to my pithy statement.

"You're going to kill yourself if you keep this up."

"That's not your problem now, is it? We all die, Edward, some of us sooner than others, but its an inevitability. It's going to happen, and sue me if I would rather be in control of how that happens. You know, go on my own terms."

"That makes a lot of sense. What exactly _are_ you referring to, Bella?" he asked, scrutinizing me with narrowed eyes.

"Nothing. Just leave me alone."

"You're going to have to talk to me eventually," he said with absolute certainty. The astuteness in his voice made my already redlining temper flare into the point-of-no-return.

"Why?" I demanded, turning on him as my hands found my hips. "Why do I have to talk to you at all? Why don't you just go crawl back under the rock you were hiding under?"

In all honesty I meant what I'd said. Why did I have to do anything I didn't want to do? He kept making it sound like it was an inevitability, that I would have no choice, and if there was anything at all that made me mad, it was him implicating he was yet again going to try and force my hand on something.

I had the ability to be the most stubborn and petulant person when I wanted to be, and if he thought for a second that I would be the one to drop this and suddenly be all warm and gregarious again, he had another thing coming. Our short relationship had been full of him doing what he thought was best for me, and look at the ramifications of that.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Then stay the fuck out of my way."

I pushed him, but just as I suspected, nothing happened. He was as unmoving and unapologetic as a brick wall. It was typical of him to behave like this. Keeping my eyes on him, I marched around to the other side of the vehicle and unlocked the door there, ignoring the slight shake of the keys in my hands as I did so. It was a long shot, and I knew it, there was no way he was going to back off, so I shouldn't have been surprised that he was already in the seat when I crawled in.

I was so frustrated that I wanted to cry. I felt like I was ten years old and powerless to be allowed to make a decision for myself. No matter how much elbow grease or strong-arming I put into getting him out of my car it was pointless. He was immovable.

"You're like a really bad case of herpes, you never go away." I growled, squeezing my hands into fists and almost regretting it immediately when I felt the metal bite into my skin. "Will you please, get the fuck out of my car?"

"Not until you give me the drugs."

I was ready to throw my hands up in the air and just give up, but I knew I was stronger than that. I wouldn't let him bully me into doing something because he believed it to be the right thing for me. It didn't seem to matter to me in that moment that most of society viewed my habit as wrong too. I just wanted to shut him down; I wanted to go against _his_ advice.

"You're beginning to cost me a lot of money."

"Then stop buying them."

"No." I was already irritable with him around, take away my one source of mind scrubbing and I would be on overload. There was no way in hell I was ready to go there.

"Why?" He asked, turning his head to look at me. I averted my eyes from his. I'd already given someone else too much insight to my soul this week; I wasn't in the mood to do it again. Even if I were, Edward Cullen would be the last on a long list of names. I'd somehow been able to avoid talking about it for years, and being back in my life for less than thirty minutes, he'd managed to change that. I didn't want to stick around long enough for him to fuck it up anymore.

I looked up to the house and noticed the blinds bending out of the way as Tony looked out to see who was lingering around his property. The light streamed out from the gap and made a small line of light appear on the grass. I just hoped he didn't think I was jacking up outside of his house. It wasn't the correct dealer/junkie etiquette.

"None of your business." I finally concluded, looking back at him. "If you're just going to sit there, do you think you could do some driving? Milling around outside of a drug dealers house tends to make them nervous and trigger-happy. You may be impervious to bullets, but I'm not."

He held out his hands for the keys and I slapped them into his palm with more force than necessary, even though the only person I would end up hurting was myself. It made me feel better though.

"In case you're interested, he's actually cursing the fact that you have a boyfriend, but he's cheered by the fact that you're arguing with me. You made quite a few admirers it seems."

"Shut up and drive. If I want your opinion... Scrap that, I'll never want your opinion."

"Where to?"

"Anywhere you're not."

Ignoring the comment, he started the car and began driving toward the main strip, which meant we were heading back to his hotel. I didn't want to go back there with him, and I sure as hell wasn't in the mood to go home. All I wanted was to get high and forget this even happened.

I looked at the clock on the dash and sighed, my shift at the club would be starting in thirty minutes. I may have quit last night, but I was sure that Brian had no idea yet.

"Take me to the club."

"What? Why?"

"Well, I have this thing called rent. When I work I get money so I can pay it. Not that it's any of your business. I just wish you would stop questioning me. It's getting annoying."

I knew I was going back on every one of my decisions I'd made in the last two days, especially the very one I'd made not thirty minutes earlier in fact. In all honesty, as much as I hated myself for it, it was the only way I knew to get away from him. It also didn't hurt that I would get to see Ryan... My stomach made a little flip as I thought about the small sighting of him earlier that evening. Yes. Seeing Ryan definitely was an upside to all of this, even if I knew it was wrong to endanger him like that.

"I can help you with your rent, Bella."

"I don't need handouts thanks."

"Bella–"

"Jesus, you don't get it do you? This is my life, Edward. I've been doing just fine doing what I'm doing. Contrary to your convoluted beliefs, it is actually my decision to make."

It was like talking in circles. He hadn't changed, and he wouldn't accept that I had. We were in an endless stalemate. I didn't think it was too much to ask him to stay away, but he just didn't seem to get it. All I wanted was some semblance of control back.

Everything was so up in the air and scattered, and I could almost pinpoint all of it on the moment I saw Mike Newton. If I ever saw him again, I would have a few choice words for him, and I knew he wouldn't enjoy the show for a second time. Not when it was his balls I was juggling with.

With a growl under his breath, Edward took a turn that I knew led to the club, and kept his mouth shut for the duration of the ride. I was glad that he'd given up on trying to talk to me, but I wasn't enjoying the fact that my mind was starting to wander. Or that I was trying to convince myself that seeing Ryan was a good idea.

When we finally pulled up at the club, and Edward parked the car, I was almost glad that it was just Dave at the door. I knew Ryan would recognize Edward from the night before and that was just going to be too many questions to answer, especially after my confession in the bathroom to him the night before. Man I knew how to fuck shit up, not that Edward coming into the club was going to be an issue, even if I had to do something shitty to make it happen.

From what I could tell, Ryan was either on a break or there was trouble in the club, either way, it gave me a way to sneak in and think about what I wanted to say before I made a further mess of things.

As I crawled out of the car I grabbed my bag, and, yet again, Edward followed. He threw me the keys, which I caught easily much to his surprise.

"Thanks for driving. Have a nice life." I sang serenely, waving over my shoulder with my fingers.

He ignored me, of course, and continued to follow me toward the club, staying a few steps behind. As I approached the doors, I could see that Dave was surprised at my appearance, but didn't say as much. Girls quit all the time and came back without so much as a blink. Thankfully, Brian seemed pretty cool about the whole thing so I hoped if he'd been told he wouldn't ride my ass about it.

"Hey, Dave."

"Trinity."

A sudden burst of inspiration made me stop and look up at the huge guy. I glanced over my shoulder and back to Dave who had quirked an eyebrow at me.

"Don't let that guy following me in. He's only seventeen."

He rolled his eyes at me as if to say 'You have to be more careful,' but nodded regardless. He may have thought I'd fucked up, but he wasn't going to compromise the club's license by letting in someone underage. I knew Edward had to have heard not only what I'd just said, but Dave's thoughts as well, but he tried anyway, producing an ID that I knew was nowhere near accurate when asked. I gave him a smile as I backed into the bass heavy atmosphere of the club and wiggled my fingers at him before turning around and disappearing inside.

I moved to the changing room feeling a little bit lighter now I'd thoroughly pissed off Edward. I fell into my vanity that had stayed mine since the day I'd started, and unpacked my things with a small triumphant smile on my lips. I heard one of the three office doors opening up behind me, and almost hoped it would be Brian so he could see I was there ready for work. It hadn't even been twenty-four hours, and though I'd probably cost him some customers I was sure they would have gravitated toward someone after they realized I was gone for the night. I had no disillusion about how easy I was to replace. Younger and more beautiful girls came in willing and eager everyday.

I looked up into the mirror and held my breath as I waited. He would be fine, but I really wasn't in the mood for his shit tonight. I'd dealt with enough pretentiousness from Edward to last me a lifetime.

Unfortunately, it wasn't Brian.

Nor was it one of a hundred people I suddenly wished it was other than the face I saw.

My breath rushed from me in a whooshing sound that made my cheeks balloon. I tried to blink away what I was seeing, but it was impossible. The sight that was reflecting back at me was as accurate as my own face was in it. It was most certainly not Brian, but it was Ryan. Ryan and Candi.

They tumbled from the office in a series of grunts, Ryan tucking in his dress shirt into open pants, and Candi boosting her tits up in her bra.

Suddenly, awash in irrational jealousy, I wasn't so sure I wanted my old job back. In fact, I was certain of it.

I started packing my things back into my bag as quickly and quietly as I could so they wouldn't hear me, but it was taking too long and I needed to be out of there as soon as humanly possible. Preferably _before_ Ryan saw me and started asking questions. I wasn't even sure of the why now.

I glanced up only once, just to make sure they hadn't heard me, but it seemed as though luck was having way too much fun fucking me up the ass to hold out for much longer. The moment I looked up, he did the same, our eyes locking in the mirror.

Rather than packing my stuff away as carefully and silently as I had been, I picked up my bag and swiped my arm across the table, unceremoniously dumping all of my shit inside of it. I stood up quickly and stumbled as all the blood rushed to my head, but I didn't stop, I stumbled to the door and out of it as quickly as I could.

I had no right to be jealous of what I'd seen, but I was, and it hurt. I didn't know what I'd been thinking going back there, but I should have known it would only end in disaster. The last couple of days had been filled with a shit storm and I should have known this would be no different.

Without my permission, I could fell the small shards in my chest dissolve. My heart had been broken, shattered, and now obliterated. I truly had nothing left to give, and this time it had been purely accidental. I hadn't meant to care about him, and I sure as shit hadn't wanted to let him in.

"Bella! Bella, stop. Please."

I picked up my pace and headed toward the lesser of two evils. At least I'd already got through the mess Edward had left behind, now I just resented him and eventually shake him. I could deal with that. It was irrational and unfair of me to be so upset with Ryan. We hadn't dated, we hadn't even fucked, and I _had_ told him to move on. All the while I'd apparently been holding out hope. I needed to stop being such an idiot and I needed to get as far away from him as possible.

"Will you just stop and talk to me?"

I stopped dead in my tracks and felt ever burden from the last couple of days build inside of me. Sadly, Ryan was the straw that broke the camels back. He'd said the wrong thing at the wrong time. It was a question that had seemed like an endlessly popular theme.

"Why does everyone want to talk?" I demanded. "All of a sudden everyone has to talk. I'm not fucking interested in talking. You obviously took my advice to heart, good for you. Now, I'm going to be on my merry way. Goodbye. Again."

"Don't do that," he said, a small spark of anger hiding behind his calm words.

"Do what?"

"Pretend like everything's okay and walk away, especially after what we talked about last night. You know how I feel about you, Bella. Nothing's changed other than _you_ walking out on _me again._"

I sighed, my shoulders sagging. He was right. I did know how he felt about me, and nothing _had_ changed. I still couldn't risk his life and I couldn't be that person he deserved to have in his life. I was being selfish, and I'd made things so much more complicated by going back to the club. I was only making things worse making him feel guilty about trying to move on.

"You're right, I'm sorry, Ryan. Michelle seems like a really good person."

"Michelle?" Ryan asked, looking a little confused.

"Candi!"

He shrugged, but I couldn't let him think that I'd changed my mind, and there was no way I could stay here. I needed to move on, and though I had promised myself I wouldn't fight, I couldn't seem to stop myself from doing just that anyway. The least I could do was leave so he'd be safe.

Before he could make an excuse and make me want to stay, I offered him a weak wave and backed away as I offered a small smile. I hated myself for going back in there, for allowing not only myself but also him to garner hope. I now had something to remind myself of why I had to let him go. At least with me gone he would be safe.

As I stepped out of the club, I looked to my car and saw Edward sat on the trunk with a stormy expression. He was pissed at me for the trick I'd pulled with Dave, and I really didn't care about that. I knew what I had to do, and though I would never have thought I would ever made a decision like the one that was forming in my head, I knew it was my only choice.

As I got closer, he slid from the car and approached me, his hands crossed defensively over his chest. I had to speak before he did, because if he tried to admonish me for what I'd done, there was a chance I could change my mind. I couldn't afford to do that. If I was going to become strong enough for this, I had to swallow my pride and ask him for his help.

"I want to get clean." I put up my hand as he started to talk. "Let me finish. There's a condition to this."

"And that is?"

"Get me the hell out of Vegas," I said. For now it was my only condition, but I knew once things kicked into motion I would more than likely add a few more.

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**Authors Note: **Guys I am so sorry for being fail with the RR's this week. With it being Thanksgiving we had to get everything done in such a short amount of time that I was run off my feet and I apologize for that! It will be better this week I promise.

I hope all of you stateside had an amazing Thanksgiving. I just want to thank you all for all of your support and your amazing reviews. I WILL be back on top of it all this week. Thank you for reading, alerting and adding to favorites as well as the amazing reviews. You guys are the best and I will give you an extra long tease this week to make up for it!

As always the song is on my spotify, my username is Nostalgicmiss there also.

PinkIndeed. I'm sorry I've been out of commission this week! I love you hun!

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie... There are no words but I know you both know! *kisses*

**MWAH!**


	8. Chapter 8: Adjustments

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 8: Adjustments**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

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_Every month this shit gets awry  
__Know my body tells a story  
__Of the earth in all her pain and glory_

_**City Girl by The Jezabels**_

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I wasn't sure exactly how this was going to work, especially when I couldn't stand being around Edward or his family. Well okay, maybe it was more about not having the inclination to be around them. Been there, done that; had the scars to prove it. Whether I liked it or not, I knew I had to make another change. The more I thought about it, the more I was starting to believe that maybe this would work in my favor. They were vampires after all. Maybe they could solve my Victoria problem once and for all.

Yes, I was contradicting myself yet again, but seeing Ryan with Candi hade made me realize that I needed to do something, because I wasn't living. I was simply existing and barely at that. It wasn't healthy to sit around and wait for some vindictive vampire to come and finish the job she'd been trying to do for years. I deserved to be happy, and step one was not letting that bitch win. So I had to get clean. I had to get my head together, and I had to make sure she had what was coming to her.

If I had to use the Cullens I would do it. It wasn't as though they hadn't done the very same thing to me. Hadn't Edward's very words been that I was just a distraction? I wasn't asking for much, just a chance at a future. I was just hoping that once they'd fulfilled their martyrdom they would leave me the hell alone. I didn't really think it was too much to ask for. Especially as they'd helped create the situation she was trying to get retribution for.

Obviously understanding that talking would only deter me, or at the very least, change my mind again, Edward chose to stay silent. He kept his mask of indifference plastered on his face as he drove, the lights flashing past. I knew the moment we turned onto the strip, the night suddenly lit up in several different hues and the noise tripled as people stumbled down the sidewalks, laughing loudly with huge drinks in their hands. Sometime I wondered if they would like it so much if they had to live here.

Don't get me wrong, Vegas was amazing, but you had to be a certain kind of person to live here, and one of those things was an aversion to gambling. Many dreamed of making a life for themselves here as I had, but they squandered away every last penny they had on the casino floors, many of them now littering the less tourist friendly areas with the homeless masses.

I closed my eyes, determined not to focus on what I was choosing to leave behind. I may not have had a gambling problem, but my demon had taken on another form and was just as unforgiving. It was only a matter of time until I made a bigger mistake than I already had, and I had to do this. Vegas, for me, was so much more than just a city. It was the only place that had given me solace and the ability to disappear. It had taught me to push past my inhibitions, and though I hated myself at times, at least I learned to appreciate my body. That was something I was sure I would never have figured out on my own.

I had learned so much here, but I'd also lost a few things too. My dignity being a constant victim of such deprivation, and then there was Ryan to add to the diminution. It was like the blunt edge of a knife, it didn't cut, but the ability was there. I had come too close to that sharper edge on too many occasions, and I didn't think I had the strength in me to fight it anymore. I often wondered how I'd got that far.

Edward pulled my car into the parking garage and killed the engine. We sat in silence for a while, simply contemplating what had just happened. In a way I think I had actually managed to surprise him. After the way I'd been acting before I walked into the club, I was certain the last thing he had expected me to do was ask for help. Obviously I hadn't done it in so many words. I still had my pride to think of, even though it was already on the floor just waiting to be stepped in and dragged through the house. I'd heard stories from people who had decided to get clean, and it seemed like one of those things where you simply had to check your pride at the door.

As we sat in the dim light, I knew he had something he wanted to say. He may have been able to hide a lot, but he couldn't hide that, not from me. I'd seen this face too often. It was the face that said. "_How do I say this without offending you?_" It was a face I had experienced on more than one occasion when he thought he was right and I was being stubborn. It lingered between us now, and it made the atmosphere in the car heady.

I was beginning to think that he was worried whatever his little speech entailed would change my mind and send him packing, yet again. I had to admit the thought had crossed my mind and I wasn't completely averse to the idea. I still had my doubts about all of this, and it would only take a couple of wrong words from Edward to seriously make me reconsider. At the same time, my patience was wearing thin with his flouncing.

"Just spit it out, Edward."

He traced the seam in the leather steering wheel with his finger. Somehow he looked even paler in this light, and I could imagine how imposing he would be if he was in monster mode ready to snack on you. I hadn't really considered that before. The only time he'd shown his true nature, I'd been in the process of burning from the inside out as James' venom flooded my bloodstream.

With an unneeded sigh, he turned to look at me, his eyes seeming more like a cats in the darkness. It would have been eerie if I hadn't have known him.

"You still have the drugs."

I leaned my head back on the headrest and closed my eyes. I already knew he wasn't going to like my answer to this, and I didn't expect him to understand. I was anticipating a fight and I was certain he wasn't going to disappoint. He may be walking on eggshells around me to keep me content, but it didn't mean he'd had a personality transplant. Edward was a creature of habit and he seemed to really believe that the way he saw things was the only way to see them, which was great when you lived with six other vampires with the same attitude and morals as he did, but it didn't sit well with me.

"I realize that."

The silence between us turned awkward as headlights from a passing car briefly lit up the dark corner he'd chosen to park in. I sat in silence and waited for the light bulb to go off, until he finally seemed to understand what I was trying to get at. He shook his head and gripped the steering wheel, making it groan under the pressure of his hands.

"Always with the one last hit."

"It's not like that asshole." I growled in response. I was so through with this shit. He had to see where I was coming from with this. It didn't take a rocket scientist.

"Then what is it like, Bella? If you won't talk to me, at least help me understand."

I looked down at my hands in my lap. I didn't want to be pleasant or accommodating, because I didn't want him to think, in any way, that I wanted to be his friend. The fact that he couldn't seem to understand that seemed to be slowly driving me insane.

"You obviously know what to expect when drugs leave my system and the withdrawals set in. I know you studied medicine at some point, Edward. Do you really think its going to be fun packing up all my shit and driving to wherever the hell it is we're going with me in that condition?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose, and I had an urge to slap it away, it was too familiar for me. When it came to familiarity, he was the last on the short list of people. I couldn't care less if he actually understood, that wasn't my problem. What I needed from him was acceptance so we could move on and get this part over with.

"Packing your things?"

"Did you honestly think I was going to leave everything I own behind?" I asked with a sardonic laugh. "I'm not staying with you forever, I asked you to help me get clean. Beyond that, I need somewhere to go and things to fill it."

"How often do you need it?"

My head almost twisted off my neck as I looked at him. Apart from Carlisle, Edward had been the last person I'd have expected to concede to this. Whether or not he was seriously listening to what I was saying, or just trying to appease me, it didn't really matter it was progress. I was finally being heard, and that, for me, was more than I could possibly ask for.

"Depends on the day and situation. I took one hit in twenty-four hours on Sunday, but I paid for it the next day. I can't see it taking long to pack up my shit. It's a studio apartment and I remember how you guys drive."

Even though there was a ghost of a smile on his lips from my comment, I really wasn't surprised at his last admission. "I don't like it."

"I'm not asking you to like it. In fact, I could give a fuck what you "feel" about the situation. All I'm asking for is a little understanding. If you can't deal with it, you can get out of the car now and I'll go it alone. I may have asked for your help, Edward, but I know when I'm flogging a dead horse."

We both sat in silence again, the dull light seemed to get darker as my eyes adjusted to it, and I could see him tapping the steering wheel with his thumb so quickly the appendage was a blur. I had a feeling he was weighing his options, he obviously knew I wasn't bullshitting. I would go my own way if that's what it took, and he knew it. It put a spanner in his martyrdom, so I guessed he was figuring out a way to agree to this while still getting his own way.

"Would you agree to have Carlisle do the dosing?"

"Why?"

"He's a doctor, for one. You have to realize how many deaths are caused by this drug, Bella, and it's not just the overdoses. There's HIV, Aids, not to mention staff infections from dirty needles. It's a wonder you don't have septicemia."

"Doesn't that go against his code of ethics, or the Hippocratic oath or something?"

Edward sighed and turned his head to look at me. I knew what he was thinking. He'd thought I was stubborn before, but that was nothing compared to how I was now. I believed he was finally seeing what he was up against. Unfortunately, I hadn't expected his next comment and almost coughed up a lung.

"He's a vampire who changed me. If that doesn't go against the Hippocratic oath, I don't know what does."

I don't think I'd ever heard him just say the word in a normal conversation like that. For the time I had been around them, I had always see it as a taboo word, scratched out of my vocabulary so I didn't accidentally utter it because of my complacency.

"Good point."

"So, if he agrees?"

"He can administer the shot, but I do the rest. I doubt he knows how to prepare it anyway."

"Then we start packing you up tomorrow," Edward said, his eyes moving back to the wall in front of us.

"Fine." I opened my door and climbed out of the car; glad that we'd finally reached terms we both seemed to be able to live with. Well, I was happy I'd got my own way. He wasn't saying no outright, and having a doctor administer the hit was going to make things easier on me. I always had hated that part of it.

I slammed the door closed behind me, leaving my bag for Edward to pick up as I stormed toward the bank of elevators. I'd carried it around enough for one evening, and it was no thanks to him as he'd been the one doing the stalking.

It wasn't until I reached the elevators that I realized I would have to wait for him anyway. They were in the penthouse suite, which meant you had to have your key card to reach the floor you needed. It was typical of them to go all out like that. I wasn't sure they even knew how to live on a budget. For insisting they keep a low profile, they were less than frugal with their millions. Not that I blamed them, they had it to spend, why not enjoy it.

No matter how I tried to be optimistic about this, I wasn't looking forward to it. It was possible that the detox was going to physically hurt; I didn't have any disenchantment about that. I knew how it was to feel the withdrawals after a couple of hours, I'd never pushed myself beyond that, and I couldn't see it being a cakewalk. Worse, was the fact that I would be with the Cullens while I went through it. I neither felt comfortable or at ease with them, and I sure as hell didn't trust them. I had a feeling it was just going to make the experience all the worse for it.

Edward moved at a humans pace as he made his way to where I was stood waiting for him, and when I say human, I mean a ninety-year-old grandmother with a faulty hip. He'd reverted to using the grim expression he'd been wearing outside of the club. I wasn't ignorant to the fact that all of this was for my benefit, but rather than hurrying him along, I ignored him. I'd been petty enough for a week; the least I could do was let him drag out the petulant pout he was sporting.

"What's the matter? You just realizing you're not going to see me shake my tail feathers half naked again?" I teased. I guess I wasn't done with the petty after all.

"Excuse me?"

I lifted up my shirt and flashed him, almost chocking as his eyes grew to the size of saucers at my audacity.

"Oh come on! You've seen me with much less on, Edward."

"Not by choice I assure you." He grumbled, trying to shake off the vision I'd given him. It was fun knowing that it would forever be stored in his photographic memory. I just hoped it had the effect I had been aiming for.

"I didn't see you complaining."

He ignored me and swiped his card, his eyes looking anywhere but in my direction. I actually found it amusing rather than the insult I was sure it was intended to be.

We traveled up to the penthouse in silence and stepped off the elevator together. I'd almost expected the family to be prepared for our arrival, but almost all of them seemed surprised I was there with Edward. Hadn't Alice seen me coming? I'd figured she would have at least seen Edward's decision. That was until I realized she and Jasper weren't there. It was weird for me to have to think about all of these things again. I'd spent so long not having to worry about my emotions being read, or my future being spied by a clairvoyant pixie. Trying to readjust to that way of thinking was fucking with my head.

"Edward," Carlisle said, standing up from the couch that he'd been occupying. Concern filled his features as he took us both in. "We discussed this, you can't keep forcing Bella to come here."

"I didn't." Edward responded, his voice flat and tired sounding. He motioned for me to talk, and for the first time since he'd shown back up in my life, I felt merciful.

"It was my idea. I was hoping you could help me get clean. I need to do this for me, but I needed to get out of Vegas, and I needed someone that could withstand the uglier parts of the detoxification."

Carlisle nodded, obviously unsure how to address the situation. I knew he would never turn away someone asking for help. It wasn't in his nature. Not matter what the circumstances were surrounding the situation, he would do everything in his power to help. The man had more humanity than most of the humans I knew.

"Of course, you're always welcome with us," Esme said quietly. She seemed almost nervous about conversing with me and I couldn't blame her. My show from earlier that evening had probably lingered in their photographic memories. I was sure to them I'd seemed like a wild animal; feral and volatile as I'd unleashed all of my anger and hatred on them.

In my defense, I had been kidnapped, but even with that excuse I wasn't sorry about what had happened. They'd needed to see that side of me. Whether they thought this bitchy version of Bella was a side effect of the drugs was of no concern to me. All too soon they'd understand it was more than the chemical imbalance the drugs created in me. I had a hardened heart, and the nightmares and hallucination from my detox were going to be quite the eye opener for them I was sure.

I was who I was, and if they were planning on helping me with this, they were going to have to get used to this person. I had been through too much to let my vulnerabilities loose, even if they would come out to play once my body started combating the lack of drugs filtering through my body.

I didn't know if they were aware of the part they played in my life, or the way it stumbled downhill after they left it. I'd spent a while trying to defend them, but the truth was they'd brought a shit storm into my life and walked away not even thinking about the consequences.

"She does have a condition." Edward interjected, pulling me from my ruminations. He dropped my bag at my feet and let his eyes move to Carlisle's. I was almost certain there was a private conversation going on there, but chose to ignore it.

"A condition for allowing us to do her a favor?" Rose asked, her smile bordering on genuine as she looked up at me from the couch. "I like you more with every second, Bella."

"Yeah? Well considering how much shit you all put me through to get me to agree, I figured I'd push my luck a little."

I noticed Esme's slight cringe at my use of profanity, but the truth was it came with the package. I'd actually come to realize I could be downright vulgar at times. I don't even think it was intentional a lot of the time. It wasn't as though I'd wanted to become a stripper with the propensity for swearing like a sailor. That was the funny thing about life though; what we wanted, and what we got, were two completely different things.

"No way. You can blame, Edward for that. I don't want to be implicated in bullying a human into coming to stay with us. I just came for the gambling," Rose said, pointing at Edward. "If it had been up to me I would have left you where you were."

"And that's one of the reasons you and I have the best chance of getting along."

She let out one of her melodic laughs and shook her head in surprise. If I'd known that a little sass would have thawed her out back when we were all in Forks, maybe things would have been a little bit easier. Sadly, it was a moot point. It was what it was and now we were here. I considered it a lesson learned.

"We're getting off track." Edward grumbled.

"Yes, I suppose we should know what this condition is." Carlisle interjected, stopping my resurgence before it could leave my lips.

"Right," I said, shuffling my feet. "Well, I want to leave Vegas in order to do this. There's too much temptation here, and if I'm going to put myself through hell, I figured I had to make it stick. In order to do that, I need to cut all ties. So I was hoping we could pack up my apartment. I have the money to pay for storage until I'm back on my own two feet."

The unspoken words seemed to hang in the air, and everyone was waiting for me to finish. I just seemed to have trouble getting there. It was like stage fright, I was stood there with all of these eyes on me waiting to speak the words I'd left unspoken. It was like forgetting the punch line to a joke. Finally, Carlisle seemed to have pity on me.

"I think that's quite sensible, but what _aren't_ you saying?" He asked. He was still stood from when we'd first entered the room, but his hand came down to rest on Esme's shoulder, and she reached to cover his with her own.

"She wants to continue using heroin until we get to where we're going," Edward said for me. I shot him a glare and wished I had something heavy to throw at him, something that had the ability to damage him in some way.

"And for this asshole to stop talking for me."

Emmett snorted from his place next to Rosalie on the couch and rather than shoot him a glare as I had the last time, I sent him an appreciative smile. Edward was the one doing the glaring.

"Look," I said, leaning against the back of the couch. "I know its less than ideal, and not exactly conducive to me quitting, but the last thing I need is to be a twitching mess while I pack up and drive God knows how long to get wherever you live."

"Bella, you have to realize how dangerous this drug is."

"Which is why I countered her with a proposition of my own," Edward said smugly, his eyes flashing to me and back. I could only imagine the questions Carlisle was throwing at him through his thoughts.

"Which would be?"

"He wants you to be the one to administer the drugs into me." I finished for him. Effectively stealing his thunder as he'd done to me earlier. I guess it at least served as a blunt way of being completely open about the situation. There was most certainly no beating around the bush here.

Carlisle seemed shocked with the idea. At least I thought he was shocked. He was frozen in place, unmoving. I don't even think he was breathing, which gave a really eerie mood to the situation.

"You can say no." I mused, rocking back on my feet, my hands still clutching the back of the couch. "I've become quite–"

"No. I can do it. It's against my better judgment, but if you insist on this, I can administer the drugs to you until we leave. At least that way I can make sure the site is kept sterile so you won't get an infection of any kind."

I could feel Edward's quiet victory wash over me, but ignored it. There was no point in rubbing his face in the fact I was about to go into the bedroom and get high. He would figure that out soon enough.

"Done. But this doesn't mean I will be staying with you for the rest of my natural life. I don't need handouts or saving. I need to get clean and move on as best I can." I figured it was best taking one problem at a time and didn't even mention Victoria's name. I was pretty sure she'd find me before I had to say anything anyway. She was convenient like that.

Everyone in the room seemed to nod as though in agreement. Well, everyone but Edward, and frankly I couldn't have cared less what he thought.

"Now if you don't mind pointing me to a bed I'll get out of your way, and Carlisle, I may need you."

I could feel Edward tense next to me and hid my own smug smile of satisfaction. Carlisle, however, squeezed Esme's shoulder before giving me a nod that said 'follow me.' I pushed Edward out of my way, so I could get my bag and he moved easily as I did. As I stepped past him, he reached up to touch me, but I side stepped out of his path and glared at him, marching away before he had a chance to say another word.

I followed Carlisle into the room I'd woken up in earlier that evening, and I finally started to appreciate the space for what it was. The lights from the strip lit the room in a dull glow, but beyond that, the sprawl of the city gave way to the desert.

The room itself was tastefully designed in the way many Vegas penthouse suites seemed to be. The ceilings were high and the fan that spun there was elaborate. The bed and television were both huge and dominated the room, to the point I was almost disappointed we'd only be there for a few days maximum.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Carlisle finally asked, still stood in the doorway as though he were afraid to cross the threshold.

"Carlisle, I appreciate your concern. I can even appreciate you not wanting to do this. I am perfectly capable of doing it myself."

"It's not that," he said quietly. "I don't mind, it's just knowing what I'm putting into your body and the damage it's capable of doing."

"I know, it's all very unsavory." I replied, actually meaning what I was saying. I knew he cared in his own way. I had been a part of their life and I'd grown quite close to him while he had, but I still couldn't get past the abandonment issues I seemed to have with them. It was always there, lingering in the back of my head.

Rather than continuing, I pulled out my kit and the drugs I'd bought from Tony earlier in the night. I started to get down to putting everything together as Carlisle stepped in closer, his medical mind winning over his disgust. When I'd finally got everything in place, I handed him the needle and tourniquet.

His gentle hands took my outstretched arm and he turned it gently, his free fingers running over the crease of my elbow.

"You have no marks."

I shook my head at his implications and kicked off my shoes. Spreading my toes, I revealed a small blotchy area and acknowledged his slight revulsion. It should have bothered me that he looked at me like that, but he couldn't take what I didn't have, and I was all out of shame.

"I'll want to check that at some point. Just to be sure there's no infection."

I nodded my assent and nodded at the arm he was still holding. "You can do it in my arm seeing as I'm kicking the habit and all."

I watched with interest as his skilled hands worked, and I was fascinated at how gentle he was. Even when the small burst of blood danced into the syringe, he didn't so much as flinch. I was about to marvel at his capability when he loosened the tourniquet on my arm and the drugs flooded my system with a small shudder.

I don't honestly remember him leaving the room, and I was unsure of how long I'd been sprawled out on the bed. When I moved, I felt like I was floating and suffocating all at the same time. I tugged at my clothes and started removing them as I stumbled to the bathroom where I faintly remembered an impressive whirlpool tub from my last visit.

I almost fell into the bath as I turned on the water, but I managed to catch my balance as I made sure the stopper was doing its job and kept the water from escaping.

The hot water felt like an orgasm against my clammy skin, and I groaned as I sunk into the roiling fluid. My mind was really too fucked up to have a thought pattern. It was just me, the bath and the steam filling the room.

I woke up to a jolting shake, my eyes slowly flickering open as I was roughly manhandled again.

"What?" I groaned, but I was suddenly aware of how cold I was. I sat up and the obviously cold and stagnant water sloshed over the sides.

"Are you _trying_ to kill yourself genius?" Rose asked, her perfect body bending to let the water out. I watched her stalk to the towels, and she pulled one down, handing it to me. I stood on weakened legs and wobbled precariously as I toweled off, oblivious to my nakedness.

"Did you get a tattoo?"

"Yep." I relied, dropping the towel and climbing from the now empty to stumble past her.

"Why _fidelitas_?"

"It means fidelity."

"I know that genius, I'm fluent. I'm asking why."

"It was the Swan family motto in the seventeen hundreds. It seemed appropriate."

"Makes sense, I guess."

"Glad you approve." I snorted, pulling underwear from my bag and stepping into it, I finished with pulling a t-shirt over my head trapping the damp ends of my hair between it and my skin. I collapsed on the bed the moment I was close enough, all too ready for the day to finally be over.

"Do you want something to eat?"

I shook my head and kicked back the covers; shimmying under the down comforter and reveling in the high count Egyptian sheets as I released a groan of delight. I could feel Rosalie watching me from the bathroom door with interest. It was actually easier to ignore than I'd expected.

"What happened to you, Bella?"

"Ask me in a week and you may get an honest answer. Though I doubt you'll like it."

She sighed unnecessarily to show her impatience and left the room. I was asleep before I heard the click of the door sliding home.

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**Authors Note: **So Bella's really going to do this, but you better believe she's not going to be the doormat she once was. She's had too much life experience to be that girl again. As for Edward, well I think she's having the time of her life taunting and teasing him. It's the only way she seems to be able to counter his incessant belief he is in the right.

It seems she's really going to do this, and maybe they will be able to help.

Thank you all for reading, alerting and adding to your favorites, and thank you for the amazing reviews! You guys are amazing and the time you take to review is appreciated more than you know, and I love you for it!

PinkIndeed... Thank you for being you!

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie... You ladies share the good times and see me through the bad times, for that I will be forever grateful! I love you both!

**MWAH!**


	9. Chapter 9: Loose Ends

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 9: Loose Ends**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

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_Almost thought we made it home,  
__But we don't know this place at all,  
__That's enough now dry your tears  
__It's been a long eleven years_

_**Fire Fire by Flyleaf**_

* * *

"Wake up, Bella. Your breakfast is here." Edward called, hammering on the door to my room. I groaned, but figured it could have been worse. He could have come in.

I shifted in the huge bed and rolled onto my back, slamming my arms down on either side of my body. I felt robbed of that moment when you wake up and forget what's going on in your world, and didn't that just put me into a fantastic mood.

"Asshole." I grumbled under my breath, knowing full well he could hear me through the door. He couldn't read my mind, so I had to let him know what I was thinking verbally. It only seemed fair. He didn't respond, but I heard the balcony door being thrown open and slammed closed. I just hoped I'd inspired him to jump.

Kicking off the comforter, I crawled from the middle of the bed and padded to the door. I pulled it open and meandered to the smell of bacon that was assaulting me from the huge dining room table.

I waved sleepily at the people staring at me before picking up the plate, a mug of coffee and a glass of orange juice. I juggled them in my arms as I headed back to the bedroom I inhabited, and kicked the door closed behind me. Just because I was here and agreed to let them help me, didn't mean I was dropping my guard and playing nice. I didn't want to socialize with them.

Placing the mug and glass of juice on the night stand, I crawled onto the bed and sat cross legged, humming at the saltiness of the bacon as I bit into it. It was crispy and cooked to perfection. I couldn't remember the last time I'd even had bacon. Most of my food came prepackaged and frozen or freeze-dried. I'd barely started on the second piece when the door was thrown open and Edward glared at me from the doorway. I didn't know why but I seemed to get a perverse pleasure knowing how much I pissed him off.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, the girl that had been in love with him tried to remind me that he was only trying to help, but I shut her up, assaulting her with memories of the pain I'd gone through after he'd left, me wandering in the woods calling out his name and then, just giving up. It was effective in the respect that it made the old me shut down and curl into the fetal position in the back of my mind.

"You could have put some pants on."

"I could have." I shrugged. "But I didn't want to. It's not like you haven't seen it before, Edward. In fact, I think I gave you a freebie."

I heard Emmett laugh boisterously from the living room and decided that it may not be so bad to have someone that got my sense of humor around. Out of all the Cullens, he'd always been the most perverse and vulgar, and it was nice to see at least _that_ hadn't changed, but then again, nothing much changed with vampires. They were pretty much set in their ways. The only other person that seemed to get my dumb antics and lame innuendo was Ryan, but he was out of my life now, and I refused to dwell on that.

"You're making people uncomfortable."

I lifted an eyebrow in challenge, but he didn't back down, so I decided to play the only card I had. I pushed the plate to the side and got up, my feet slapping against the floor as I made my way over to him. He was still stood at the door, his feet still in the living room as though he were afraid to even be in the same room with me.

Sticking my head under his arm, I scanned the vampires sitting around the furniture in various states of relaxation. I couldn't really see anyone that was uncomfortable, but I figured it was polite to ask at least.

"Did I make you uncomfortable?"

Each of them shook their head, except Esme and Carlisle who, in the name of impartiality, were doing their damnedest to stay unallied. I was sure it probably caught them off-guard, but at least I had been sensible enough to wear boy shorts. It could have been much worse considering all I had was my workbag.

"Well, there you go," I said smugly, backing up and straightening. "It seems to me you're putting words into peoples mouths again, Edward. You're the only one around here that's a prude."

"You're infuriating." He growled, as I walked away from him and back to the bed.

"Thanks." I replied cheerfully, grabbing my plate and crawling onto the bed again. "I aim to please."

"Do you really hate me that much?"

I took a breath and let my shoulders sag.

"You have to care about someone in order to hate them, Edward. So no, I don't hate you. I don't feel anything," I said quietly.

He nodded at my statement and backed out of the room, pulling the door closed behind him. Guilt sparked dully in the bottom of my gut before extinguishing completely. It was still enough to unnerve me though. I didn't want to care about how he felt or whether I'd hurt his feelings, so I dug up the words he'd said to me before he left me all those years ago.

It was hard to let myself remember when I'd put so much effort into locking it all away, but the moment the echo of his words filled my consciousness, anger took over. He'd made it more than clear about how he felt when he left all those years ago, and he obviously hadn't cared about hurting my feelings. Maybe this wasn't the best idea in the world, but I hoped it was at least cathartic. I hoped that working some of these emotions would rid me of the emotional baggage I'd been dragging around behind me for years.

No. I refused to feel guilty about being honest with him. If it hurt him, he'd have to work through that it wasn't my problem. If he couldn't handle having me around, he needed to tell me that before I packed all my shit up.

I ate my breakfast alone and showered, reveling in the multiple showerheads that felt like a thousand fingers massaging the last twenty-four hours right out of me, and I needed it. All of the tension from not only the emotional moments, but from being drugged and carted around seemed to weigh heavily on me.

When I finally wandered back into the bedroom with just a towel on, I almost groaned at the visitor that was perched neatly on the edge of my unmade bed.

Alice tried to hide her excitement at seeing me. Everything about her was completely frozen, but she couldn't hide that mischievous glint in her eye that betrayed her. It felt like a lifetime since I'd last seen her, and in a way it had been.

As much as I wanted to ask her to leave, and as much as the pain of her rejection still stung, I just couldn't do it. I didn't have many bad memories of Alice other than her leaving. She'd always been there for me when I needed her before that, so I decided to let her stay.

"Thank you." She whispered, her saffron colored eyes flickering briefly to meet mine.

"I must be sober." I observed shrewdly.

"Yes. It's the only time you're not a blur to me. It was a reassurance to know you were alive, even if I had no idea what I was seeing. It's so nice to see you, Bella."

"Lets not go there. It's just going to start an argument."

Alice nodded, understanding that I was warning her about bringing up the past. We would undoubtedly talk about it, but now was not the time, and I wasn't in the right place to even attempt it. I wanted to hold my emotions at bay until there was no chance of me changing my mind and staying in Vegas. The last thing I needed was to fall back into my habits and get myself killed not a day after deciding I may actually deserve to have a normal life. I'd only been sober for an hour and was already itching for a hit because I was in her company.

I was immersed in my past while I was in their company, and though I could feel the tenuous hold on the rest of my memories slipping, I was determined to stay sober and get the ball rolling. All too soon, I would have the full force of my pain unleashed on me. I was admitting myself to a long, drawn-out vacation in hell, and I was adamant about keeping that out of the way until I formally checked in.

I wasn't naive about what I was about to go through. I'd known what I'd been asking when I's appealed to Edward and his family to help me. If there was anyone that was strong enough to help me through this it was the Cullens, and so I didn't feel so guilty about burdening them with it. They could handle almost any physical or mental attack I unleashed on them while I was incapacitated. I couldn't see anyone else being able to do that without holding it against me.

"So, we're packing up your things tonight?" Alice asked. She was keeping her tone pleasant and neutral and I appreciated her effort.

"Yeah, I was going to leave now and get a head start. I figure the faster I get out of here, the faster I can get through the rest of it."

"Would you like some company?"

I almost laughed out loud at her question. I'd been so alone for so along, the thought of company hadn't even occurred to me. It had only been in the last couple of days that I'd started communicating with anyone at any great length. Before that it had been the occasional exchange of pleasantries with Tony, my dealer, or the girls at work. I wasn't sure if she could see the decision process or simply the results of the decision itself, but I had to think ahead. No matter how much I argued with myself, I knew that I needed an ally in what was coming up.

Was Alice the perfect choice? No. But she was the only one really making an effort without making me feel as small as a gnat, and she was one of the few of them I could stand to be around. Her betrayal still stung like hell, and there was no way I could just drop it, but we'd cross the bridge when we came to it.

"That would be nice, but how are you going to cover up your bedazzle thing?"

"You've been in Vegas too long. Bedazzle?"

"It's better than glitterific."

"Yes. Another word I think you can strike out of your vocabulary."

I shrugged and shucked on my underwear under my towel. I could see Alice eyeing the clothes I'd pulled out, and almost dared her to make a comment. Amazingly, for a long moment, she actually succeeded, but I still noticed the corner of her lips turning up as she eyed the clothes speculatively. I honestly believed that she'd actually held herself back, when she finally plopped down on the bed with an exaggerated sigh.

"Your fashion sense has improved."

I turned and looked at her, noting the slight shift of her eyes as she tried to hide her smile.

"You couldn't help yourself, could you?" I laughed, throwing my towel at her. "Be forewarned, if you start in on my clothes you will be asked to leave. I have my own tastes and my own mind and I fully intend to exercise that."

She smiled and held up her hands in surrender, the ghost of a smile lingering on the edges of her mouth. I needed her to know this was nothing but a truce. Anything beyond that was another bridge waiting to be crossed.

I pulled my bag up from the floor and sat it on the bed, digging through it for my brush. Of course, Alice sat cringing the whole time I brushed the tangles from it. Without meaning to, I had put her on her own version of hell, because not being able to comment on things like this was like someone dangling heroin in front of me as the memories began to attack. I wasn't backing down though. If I was going to stay with them, I had to set guidelines and ground rules. It made an awkward situation a little simpler.

"You ready?" I asked, sliding me feet into some heels. Unfortunately, my workbag didn't leave me many other options, and I had no clean socks to speak of, or tennis shoes to put them in.

"Give me five seconds and I'll meet you at the door."

I nodded as I shoved everything, but the make up bag with the drugs in, into my bag. I would have to sort through it all at my apartment and pack some sensible clothes and sleepwear so Edward would get off my case. I wasn't sure whether vampires were capable of aneurisms, but if they were, I suspected Edward might have one if I continued to walk around in my panties.

It didn't take us long to get to the apartment, even with the few stops we made. As Alice and I walked into the place, I felt an odd sense of detachment. I'd lived there for less than two years, and I had absolutely no memories of the place other than the ones recently with Ryan. It was a shelter, nothing more, nothing less. I don't think it had ever been a home to me. I had always thought of a home as a place filled with love and people and things that meant something to you. Not materialistic things that could be easily replaced.

The only thing in the apartment that had, or would, mean anything at all to me, was locked in a fireproof box on the top shelf of my closet. In it, there were pictures of me with my parents through my life, and then at my graduation. Dad's wallet and police badge were also in there, along with the deed to his house. It had been the first place I'd gone to after I had left moms house. I knew it had been risky, especially with Jacob living so close, but I couldn't walk away from it without something to remind me of him.

Also in the box, was the promise ring Jacob had given me, some pictures of he and I together during happier times, my high school diploma, and a few other things I refused to think about. Things I'd found under my floorboards.

Dumping everything from my bag onto the bed, I made my way to the closet and pulled it open. Standing on the tips of my toes to reach my most prized possession. As it slid from the shelf, so did a thick blanket of dust that made me sneeze. Ignoring how dirty it was, I held it to my chest as though it were the most precious thing in existence.

Alice must have sensed how much I needed my privacy because she slipped into the small bathroom with one of the U-Haul boxes I'd bought on our way over there from the hotel. While she was gone, I spent a moment with my hand on top of the heavy metal, as though the lid itself held the ghosts back from assaulting me. It was a ridiculous notion, but at the same time it was the only way I could do what I was about to do.

I entered the combination slowly, checking over my shoulder to make sure that Alice couldn't see what I was entering. If she wanted to look inside, she had to break it. I wasn't going to make it easy for her to sneak a peek. With a deep breath, I opened the lid to peer inside.

Looking inside was akin to torture for me. The picture on top was of dad and me at my high school graduation. I could remember it so clearly; Jacob had grabbed my camera from me with one of his signature grins and pushed me at my dad with a roll of his eyes.

Dad had been so proud, and if there was anything remarkable about the picture at all, it was seeing that written all over his face as he looked down at me. It was when I'd had the pictures developed that I realized how much I'd taken him for granted, and I'd started getting to know, and paying attention to, what made Charlie Swan tick.

I missed him so much, that my heart actually ached.

Alice stepped back into the room, and I slammed the lid shut, slipping the lock into place as I wiped the tears from my eyes. I slid it into my bag before standing up and looking around the room. My heart was already in my throat from the emotional onslaught of one picture, I needed to get with the program and do what we'd come to do.

"Do you have a toiletry bag for your toothbrush and stuff?" I knew she'd seen the expression I was wearing, but she had enough tact to pretend she hadn't.

I threw one of my bigger make-up bags at her and she retreated into the bathroom, once again leaving me on my own. I almost wished I'd thought to pack my drugs before coming back here to do this, and in truth, I had. I just knew that I needed a clear head to do this so I'd made an educated decision, one that I ended up regretting.

Deciding that a distraction was needed, I started pulling my clothes from the closest and folded them before storing them in the bag on the bed. The order of it kept me focused so the thoughts wouldn't clog my mind and incapacitate me. The picture of my dad smiling down proudly at me seemed burned on my eyelids so I forced myself to pay attention to what I was doing.

Alice and I barely spoke as we worked, but knowing she was there turned out to be a huge comfort, something I sure as hell hadn't counted on. She was actually the one that reminded me to eat as we worked. I made my way into the kitchen and searched the cupboards. When I found a cup of noodles; I threw them into the microwave as I cracked open a beer. Alice watched me curiously as I took another mouthful, but sensibly declined to comment.

"You want me to start packing books?" She finally asked, leaning against the arch into the doorway.

"Can do." I replied, eyeing her as she practically danced across the room in a picture of grace. She was as immaculate as she had been from the moment we'd arrived, while I was a sweaty mess. My hair was sticking to my forehead, while my shirt clung to my damp back. It was no wonder I'd been so self-conscious around them. They were the picture of perfection, never a hair out of place or a smudge of mascara, and it was enough to make a super model feel inadequate.

I ran the cool bottle over my forehead, enjoying the cool condensation as it dropped down my warm skin. In the end, I pulled open the fridge door and leaned back into it with the bottle still firmly attached to my forehead. The cool air blew over my back making me shiver happily. It was much better than the heat that seemed to linger in the apartment. I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the moment.

"You want a nice frosty hug there? They're free," Emmett said. My eyes fluttered open and my eyes reached his grinning, dimpled face as he and Rose crowded the small archway. Rosalie, however, seemed to find my predicament amusing.

I shut the fridge door with my hip and leaned against the counter taking another mouthful of beer as I eyed the two of them warily.

"You're early," I finally said, stating the obvious as I slid my ass up on to the counter and swinging my legs.

"Edward was driving us insane. You sent him off on one of his vagina monologues," Emmett said, dodging Rosalie's fingers as she tried to pinch him.

I couldn't help but laugh at that. I could imagine the kind of mood he was in from our brief time together. He was probably inexplicably wounded from my words earlier that morning.

As much as I would have liked to have helped, it wasn't my problem. He'd seen to that a couple of years ago. I didn't owe him anything.

"Nothing to say to that Saint Alice?" Rose asked, fingering through my bills.

"You know how I feel," she said quietly from the other room. "You both do."

"And you know how we feel. So lets agree to disagree and leave it at that." Emmett added, nudging Rosalie and shaking his head. I had the distinct feeling I was being baited into asking what exactly they were disagreeing about. Unfortunately, for them at least, I wasn't going to. I had no inclination to know what their disagreement was about. It was their business, and if they wanted my opinion, they could ask for it.

As it was, we were just standing around doing nothing, and it wasn't getting us any closer to getting me the hell out of there. Of course, it was Emmett that observed this.

"Direct us, Bella. We have no idea what you want with you and what you want stored."

"The only thing I really need is clothes and toiletries, and some books to distract me."

Alice huffed with impatience and straightened up, her hands on her hips. "I'll show you. My decisions have been giving me her reaction. It's been quite effective so far."

I stuck my tongue out at her and she shrugged playfully, but the other two seemed to take her word for it and made their way to her. Considering how small my apartment actually was, it was becoming a little crowded now there were four of us. I hated to think how it was going to feel when the other four arrived. I popped the microwave beside me open and retrieved my noodles, and pulled a fork from the drawer under my legs. I tucked into the carb overload with a sigh of contentment as it hit my empty stomach with a thud.

I hadn't even made it halfway through the pot when there was a hammering at my door. I jumped off the counter and stuck my head out of the kitchen and found Alice by the bookshelf, her eyes were full of sadness.

"Who, Alice?"

"Your friend from the club."

"Frie– Ryan?" I asked, my gut clenching. I wasn't sure if I wanted to run to the door or pretend I wasn't there. Either way would have left me cold and unsatisfied.

"I know you're in there, Bella. Your car's downstairs."

"Want me to handle it?" Emmett asked quietly. I shook my head in response. I didn't need someone doing my dirty work. I'd made the mess; I needed to clean it up.

I put the noodles on the counter and headed to the door. When I opened it, I yelped in surprise as I was pulled against a huge chest and enveloped in Ryan's strong arms. The smell of him was like a drug to me, so much stronger and potent than the actual drugs had ever been.

"I was so worried about you. Dave said you left with the ginger kid, and I've been calling you all night. Why didn't you answer?" I could hear Emmett chuckling from the ginger comment inside.

"What part of goodbye didn't you understand, Ryan?" I asked gently. I didn't want to be cruel, but he was making this so much harder than it had to be.

"The part of me that won't accept it."

I sighed and backed out of his embrace. I stepped out of the apartment completely and pulled the door closed behind me. The action didn't go unnoticed by Ryan, but from the looks of his expression, he stored it away to address later.

"Give me one night, Bella," he said, the moment the door clicked closed behind me.

"What?" I asked, blinking up at him in surprise. I was having a hard time processing his words. He'd always been confident, but if he thought one night together would change my mind, he was delusional.

"Let me prove to you how good we can be together."

"By fucking you?" I asked incredulously, crossing my arms over my chest.

"What?" He seemed genuinely surprised by my conclusion to his request. "No. I don't mean a night of sex. Jesus, Bella, you know me better than that."

"Do I?" I asked gently, putting my hand on his chest, and pushing him a little further down the balcony. "The truth is, you know me as well as I know you, and that's not much. Maybe two days ago my answer would have been different, but it's too late. I'm leaving as soon as my shit is packed."

"You're moving?"

"Did you think I just meant leaving the club?"

"You can't," he said in a whisper, his hands gripping my hips and his brow coming down to meet mine. "I know I fucked up with Candi. I was just so fucking pissed at you for driving off like that. I thought . . . When you pulled up in that cab . . ."

"I was screwed up on drugs, and my friends took care of me."

I really couldn't believe I'd just called them friends while they were within earshot, but Ryan needed to be appeased, and if that meant making them out to be my friends for his benefit, then so be it.

"You can't leave now, Bella, not when–"

"When what, Ryan? When I have a problem you only just discovered? Because we cried together in a bathroom while I was high and said shit I really shouldn't have? Because you, like the rest of this world have this impulsive need to protect me from things you have absolutely no comprehension of?"

"Because I fell in love with you."

I stuttered over my response before settling for ballooning my cheeks and blowing all of the air from my lungs. I'd told him not to do that. To not tell me how he felt. Especially when there was no way he could feel that way about me. He didn't know me well enough to be in love with me. I couldn't let him do this though, no matter how nice it felt to hear it.

The truth was I'd hidden from it. The last person to tell me they loved me had been my dad. He'd been so good to me after the breakup with Jacob, and we spoke almost every night about how I was supposed to move on. Hearing it now, from someone who knew less about me than the stranger down the street, didn't fill that hole, and it never would.

Ryan was a nice guy, and yes, for a while I had considered a future with him. That, however, was in another life. One where I wasn't damaged goods, one with no vampires and where my dad was still alive and giving him a hard time. That couldn't be this life.

"Go home, Ryan." I whispered, pushing up on my toes to kiss the corner of his mouth. "Whatever you've done wrong in your life, none of it was bad enough to deserve me."

With that, I strode away from him and back in to the apartment, slamming the door closed behind me. I leaned against it and closed my eyes for a second before letting them flicker open to catch the three sets of golden eyes staring back at me.

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**Authors Note: **So it seems Bella is really going through with this. I know that it was a slow chapter in some regards, but I think there were some things that needed to be done before Bella could move on.

I apologize for lack of Review replies this week. This time of the year is so busy and I've been run off my feet, but I've read every single one of t hem and I love you all for your thoughts and your support. I'm hoping it will resume to normal next week and I will go for a good tease this week too. I love all of you guys for your support and your encouragement. I just wish I knew how to thank you!

PinkIndeed. I have been a bad friend this week. I love you and thank you for being patient!

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie... There are no words for how much I love the two of you!

**MWAH!**


	10. Chapter 10: Sealed

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 10: Sealed**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

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_For all you know.  
__You keep yourself from rising tone, no future holds.  
__Slowly look up, you're looking hard to find love.  
__Low key, fatal tune._

_**You and I by Washed Out**_

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"Fuck!"

It wasn't the most eloquent of responses, but there it was.

"Bella–" Alice started, but I put my hand up to stop her. I pushed off the door and tried to ignore the clawing at my guts as all the emotions hit at once. I needed a fix of something to take off the edge, but I'd been adamant about leaving it at the hotel.

"Do you think we could get this finished in one night?" I asked, leaning against the wall in the hall. I needed to get the hell out of there. I didn't think I could take another surprise at my door.

Emmett held up one of the costumes I owned and peeked through the sheer material at me. "As long as you don't mind losing a few boxes."

I covered my face with the heels of my hands and started to laugh. It started from my stomach and bubbled up, spilling from me in a burst. It wasn't long until it turned into completely manic hysteria and I was sliding down the wall until I was on my knees. I was that way for a while, but then, inevitably, the tears came. Once they started, I couldn't seem to stop. I was so pissed at myself for the burst of emotion, I cried harder. When Alice tried to approach me yet again, I growled a warning at her and fought to finally catch my breath. I wasn't weak and I sure as hell didn't need comfort from any of them.

Without a word, Rosalie pushed them back to work and gave me a nod. Somehow, we'd come to an understanding. She seemed to understand more than anyone that all I needed was some space. That I needed to collect myself and pull the fractured pieces back into place so I could glue it all back together. I just hated that they'd seen this vulnerability in me because it was so rare. I'd spent years fighting the tearful mess I'd been. Drugs weren't exactly the best way to combat that, but it had worked for me that long. Well, up until my past caught back up with me, anyway. I'd cried more in that one week than I had in the years since dad had died.

How was I going to deal with all of the shit sober was another one of those fucking bridges I was beginning to loathe. My life was slowly becoming a maze of bridges I wasn't certain how to navigate. They had cross points and curves from hell. The only way to describe it was a tangled mess.

I'd been stupid to ask these people for help. I couldn't get away from my past when they were intricately enmeshed with it. It was like someone had pulled all the ivy away and revealed a door that I'd have preferred to stay hidden. Being sober around them was going to be hell, but surviving it would only make me stronger. If I could live through that, I could live through anything.

I tried my best to put all of the shit back into their appropriate boxes in my head and pushed myself to get this done. The sooner I was out of there it would be one less thing to worry about. I moved to the dresser where Emmett was still going through the one drawer dedicated to work clothes and snatched a fire engine red teddy from his hands.

"You wore this?" He asked, one eyebrow arched with interest. I simply smiled at him and held back any other reaction so I wouldn't do another _Linda Blair_ from _The Exorcist_ and spew my emotions all over them.

"Damn."

"Shut up, Emmett." Rose laughed from across the room where she was helping Alice. "Anyone would think you've never seen a stripper before."

"But this is Bella we're talking about."

"The same Bella within hearing distance." I snorted.

"I know. I just never believed it when I first read it. You're just not who I pictured when I saw it."

I froze. Something in his words had alerted me and made my blood run cold. It didn't help that the atmosphere in the room had coagulated around us either. Emmett had obviously said something he wasn't supposed to have.

I looked to the two women that had completely come to a standstill, I wasn't even sure they were still breathing. The only person who hadn't noticed the sudden drop in barometric pressure was Emmett, who was holding up one of my many devil costumes.

"Read?" I asked, my voice not sounding like my own, even to my own ears. "What the hell do you mean read it?"

"Ah shit." Emmett grumbled looking from me to Alice and Rosalie as recognition finally set in.

"That's not an answer, Emmett!" I ground out through clenched teeth. "What did you mean?"

Emmett ran his hand over his face and looked to Alice and Rose for help. There was no way in hell I was going to let them manipulate him into staying silent. I knew how these things worked. Just as I would start getting answers, one of the others would throw a spanner in the works making whoever was doing the talking close up like a clam.

"Tell me, Emmett."

"Get out your phone."

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to show you."

I pulled out my cell phone and moved to hand it to him, but he wiggled his fingers at me, reminding me that he couldn't activate the screen with his cold fingers.

"Fine." I sighed. "What do I need to do?"

"Download _Facebook_."

"What?"

"Just go to..." He looked over my shoulder. "Apps. Search for _Facebook_. Do you have a computer?"

"No. I don't have internet or Wi-Fi access. I use the laptop to play solitaire."

Emmett shook his head in disbelief as the app downloaded. I could see Alice and Rosalie whispering in the corner, and chose to ignore them. If that was the only way I was going to get answers, then so be it.

"As I opened the program, it asked me for my login information. "I don't have an account."

"EequalsM. at gmail dot com."

I looked at him and smirked, but typed the name in anyway. Trust Emmett to come up with something like that for an email address.

"Password?"

"Grizzly, with an exclamation instead of an I."

"Why?"

"It's safer to have symbols in it so you don't get hacked."

"No," I said, genuinely smiling. "Why grizzly?"

"I needed something I wouldn't forget." He shrugged, leaning over to see whether I was entering it correctly.

"You have a photographic memory." I reminded him, but he shrugged again, and mumbled about how it was a good thing seeing as he'd have to change it now anyway.

As soon as I logged in, he pointed to a small menu and guided me toward a name I didn't want to piece together with this small disaster. Though it made sense that it should be something like this. I took off on my own after that, navigating like a pro as I searched for what I knew was going to be there.

Of course it was even worse than I'd imagined. Just after a post that read: _Vegas Baby! What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Hope my future wife loves me enough to forgive Dennis for this._ Was the post I was looking for.

_**Found Bella in Vegas. If you decide to venture down to sin city head to Pussy Galore's and give her your best. She's definitely a girl that's improved with age.**_

"Motherfucker." I hissed from my teeth and forced myself to click on the comments that were underneath it.

**Jessica Stanley: **_Should have known! No one can be that pure and innocent. Bet she has a kid or something that she has to support._

**Lauren Mallory: **_Who cares? She was a pain in my ass. That sugar wouldn't melt in my mouth shit was old and tired anyway. Mike, does she give "Extras?"_

**Eric Yorkie: **_Are you fucking serious? Anyone up for a trip to Vegas? I gotta see this! _

**Tyler Crowley: **_Hell yes!_

**Angela Webber: **_Wow! Nice to see you've all grown up since high school. I used to think I missed you guys, but you haven't changed a bit. None of you know what she's been through. Have any of you even considered how or why she got there? Have you forgotten what happened a couple years ago? You're all still so self-involved. I really can't believe you went this low, and are speculating over idle gossip. And you Mike! You should be ashamed of yourself for starting all of this and posting it in the first place!_

That was the end of the messages. No one seemed to know how to respond to Angela's defense of me. I think I expected most of the comments on there, but I had to admit, Jessica's stung. She was the only one who had even tried to reach out to me after my dad died. Just before I'd left mom's house that night, I saw the notepad by the phone. There was a tally next to Jacob's called, but under that was Jessica and Angela's name. They'd cared enough to ask after me and see how I was doing. No one else had.

"Bella–" Emmett started in a sympathetic tone, but I put up my hand and stopped him. I didn't need pity or sympathy. I didn't want to think about any of this, except for the fact that if Victoria were trolling the Internet, she would easily find me. I'd told Ryan to forget my name and act as though he didn't know me if anyone asked. I just hope he stuck to that, or I would go after Mike Newton and hold him accountable for anything that happened.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, taking a deep breath. I was trying to be composed, but I could feel the anger boiling up inside of me. It set a fire in my lungs that made my throat ache with every breath I took. If they said one word about protecting me, I knew it wouldn't end well.

"We were going to, then you wanted to get clean and leave here, we figured it didn't matter. Anyone that showed up would be disappointed."

"You're not the only people that have read this. I don't give a shit what people from fucking high school say."

"Then who are you worried about? Your mom or your dad?"

"Forget it." I sighed in defeat, my hands running through my hair and scooping it into a bun at the back of my neck. I didn't want to discuss this with them. They obviously had a selective memory where Victoria was concerned, and I sure as hell wasn't getting into the sob story about my dad. If I though they were giving me too much sympathy at that point, it would be unbearable once that was leaked.

"Can we just get this done so I can get this over with? The sooner I'm clean, the sooner I'm out of your hair." I didn't have the energy to tell them just how close I was to changing my mind already, but the scratching of the withdrawals were already making the need to claw at my skin and pull out my hair unbearable. I always had extreme emotions when the drugs depleted from my system. I put the melting pot of emotions down to that and started stuffing things into boxes without paying much attention.

I could feel them all staring at me with wide eyes as I wiped the counters off with my arms and the useless, cheap trinkets showered into the box I was holding like trash from a dumpster.

I could feel the eyes of everyone in the room on me as I worked with anger as my motivation. I felt like I was a fish in a tank as the stood around watching, doing nothing as I continued the rampant form of packing. I tried to keep my hands busy, dumping things in boxes and throwing things at the door. I was a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off, and the shaking of my hands became steadily worse as sweat beaded on my skin. It wasn't like I was hot. Since I'd read all of that shit on the phone, my blood felt like ice water in my veins.

I was pushing myself to my limits and I knew it, and I had a feeling that Alice did too. She finally slipped out of the room and left the other two to organize the mess I was creating in my whirlwind of destruction. I could pretend it didn't stab at me all I wanted, but the truth was, I was angry. So angry that I wanted to route march my happy ass to wherever Mike Newton live and rip his chubby head from his shoulders.

He had no idea what he'd done. How much danger he'd put not just me, but everyone I knew at the club in. If Victoria had seen that any sooner, it could have been her trap I'd walked into and not Edward's. In hindsight that surprise really wasn't that big of a deal.

I was also mad at myself for not asking them how they knew where I was. I'd figured it was Alice that had seen me, but the adage about assumptions had never been more true. I should have known that Mike wouldn't have kept that to himself, especially after I shut him down yet again. I could almost guarantee that was exactly why he'd done what he did. He'd never accepted rejection very well, and this was another perfect example of that.

I made a promise to myself in that one moment. I would get through the Cullen version of rehab, and when I did; I would hunt his ass down and make him pay for what he'd done. My life may have actually taken a different path if he hadn't have walked into the club that night, and I was hell bent on tit for tat.

I turned around to grab my bedding, but as I did, a wave of nausea roiled in my gut and flooded my mouth with saliva. That was the part I hated the most about withdrawals. With my hand over my mouth, I bolted toward the bathroom and slammed the door behind me as I fell to my knees and emptied my stomach in the bowl.

I heaved and heaved until there wasn't even fluid to release. Cool hands on the back of my neck as my hair was pulled back almost made me groan at the feel of it. I could tell by the shoes that it was Rosalie, and decided it was probably better to not say anything, but then she went and put her hand on my forehead, cooling it with her gentle touch.

"Alice called Carlisle. He's bringing the drugs with him," she said, sitting on the tub. "You look like shit."

"I feel like shit, but thanks for the vote of confidence."

"Would you rather I lied to you?"

"No." I responded honesty, sitting back on my knees and flushing the toilet. She knew as well as I did that my bullshit meter was full to the brim, and her honesty was the one refreshing thing in my life at the moment.

"So what comes next?"

"In what context?"

"Withdrawals," she said, swapping hands.

"Hallucinations, and a whole lot of nasty. As far as I know it gets to the point where my body starts shutting down to help me through it and I've heard there's a loss of control in my bodily functions."

Rose shuddered delicately, and petted my hair with her free hand. It was amazing that out of all of the people I thought of as friends in this family, she would be the one I identified with now. She hadn't changed, but I had, and I understood her a little better, because like her, I was stuck in a life I hadn't chosen for myself. Though a lot of the responsibility sat on my shoulders, there were things that triggered it and took me to this point.

"Why would you do that to yourself?"

"Because there's a freedom that comes with the high. I don't have to think about anything, I don't have to be constantly reminded of every bad decision I made and what came of those decisions. I don't have to think about the person I used to be. "

"You weren't that bad, Bella."

"No, I wasn't. Then I stepped foot in Forks."

"What happened after we left, Bella?"

I pushed up from the floor and stumbled out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. I pulled out a bottle of water from the fridge and rinsed my mouth out before gulping some of it down. When I went back to the bathroom to brush my teeth, she followed me with her eyes expectantly. I may have felt slightly closer to her, but that didn't mean I was going to be cracked open like a bottle of champagne on a ships inaugural sail.

I brushed my teeth, hard and threw the toothbrush back in the make up bag I'd given Alice for my toiletries.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"When you do. You know where to find me."

I nodded in thanks and stumbled back into the combined living/bedroom. Emmett was piling things neatly in the corner, and I could see just how much shit I'd thrown about in my pity party. As much as the guy liked to joke, I knew he wouldn't say anything. It was the only time I'd seen him with anything akin to stoic indifference on his face.

"Leave it, Emmett. That's all the stuff I'm going to throw out. I appreciate it though."

He nodded and stepped away from the pile of crap on the floor. He picked up a box and started putting the DVD's in the bottom drawer of my dresser in it. This quiet side of him, though I hated to admit it, unnerved me.

"I'm sorry. It's just a lot. You know?"

Emmett looked at me, and then past me. When I turned I saw Rosalie in the door, shaking her head at him as though warning him not to push me. I couldn't even imagine what he wanted to say, and I didn't want to care, but I was starting to realize that this was Emmett. I couldn't ever stay mad at him for long. Two days was quite a feat where that was concerned.

"Say it, Emmett."

"You don't want to hear it, Bella," Rosalie said from behind me. Her voice tired and resigned.

"I probably don't, but this serious side of Emmett is depressing me."

She laughed behind me, and I turned back to give her a half smile. I could only imagine how she felt with Emmett in this reticent mood. She was married to him, which probably meant she'd at least seen this before though.

"I never wanted to leave, at least not without you, Bella. Edward was a selfish asshole for what he did. As bad as it was for you, it was just as bad for the rest of us who loved you."

I put my hand on his arm, and then leaned into him for a hug. I looked back at Rosalie who actually seemed surprised. Whether it was Emmett's admission or my willingness to show affection, I wasn't sure.

"You were right, Rose," I said, stepping out of the hug and grinning at her. "I didn't want to hear it, but I think I needed to." My smile faded. "I wish it was enough to just get past it, but that was six years ago. That's a lot of time for cracks to turn into canyons. I just need time to get past this, and we can try the friend's thing, but you know I can't promise the same can be said for Edward. There's just too much history there."

Emmett snorted beside me, and playfully punched my arm, almost sending me careening into the wall. "Edward can look after himself. He made his bed, time he laid in it."

"Easily said when he's not here to defend himself," Alice said from the door, sliding her phone into her pocket. "But, that doesn't mean I don't understand. Now, why don't we get your things together so we can get on the road? We have a long drive ahead of us."

"Should I go and get a U-Haul?" I asked, leaning against the wall for support on my jellied legs. I really wasn't enjoying the onslaught of these withdrawals, but I could honestly say that having company was helping in keeping away the rest of the memories, and kept me from ruminating for the time being.

"Edward is going to grab one. Carlisle, Jasper and Esme are going to drop him off on the way over here."

"Then I guess we really should get packing."

We spend the next little while packing, though I really couldn't say I was much help. The withdrawals were becoming unbearable. I was getting sick more often, and the pain was beginning to make me double over. It was a taste of what was to come, and I wasn't looking forward to it. I could only imagine the intensity of it after a full twenty-four hours, and beyond that... I didn't want to think about that. It was only going to deter me from doing it, and it was becoming obvious that wasn't an option. I had asked for their help, and they were going to give it to me.

When Esme and Carlisle arrived, Esme fell into her usual maternal role, grabbing wet face clothes and cleaning off my brow, or holding back my hair while I threw up. My hands were too shaky to produce a dose for myself, so I had to walk Carlisle through it. His nose almost upturned as some of the less desirable aspects needed to be done.

As the tourniquet was released and the drugs flooded my body, I let go of everything and let myself float into the nothingness that my mind constantly clung to while I was in that state. It's what I'd needed, and my body was its slave as it floated toward the chemical ecstasy it promised.

I wasn't exactly certain how long I was in my happy little ball of euphoria, I hadn't been paying attention when I'd been given my reprieve from reality, so it wasn't as though looking at the clock was going to help. All I did know was I had a room full of vampires milling around talking quietly amongst themselves as the buzzed version of consciousness set in and my body stopped floating in suspended animation around me.

When I looked around, my things were gone, and the bed was the only thing still occupying the space. Even my sheets had been pulled out from around me.

"That was fast." I groaned, sitting up and letting my lips curl into a smile. My face was numb, so I could only imagine how it looked. I was certain it was closer to a grimace than a smile.

"That's what happens when you let vampire pack your things." Emmett laughed, reaching over to muss my hair. "Have a nice trip?"

"If I could remember any of it I would relive it for you." I replied, swinging my legs over the side of the bed and letting my body sway in its relaxation.

The moment I was off the bed, Emmett and Jasper grabbed the mattress, while Edward and Carlisle picked up the box spring below it. Alice didn't waste a second swooping in to dismantle the bedframe. For my fog-addled brain, it felt like one of those dreams where things fell away behind you with every step you took. Had I been in a more sober frame of mind, I would have been more nervous about the fact that I'd been insentient with a brood of vampires around me. That was the thing about drugs though, you didn't think once they were in your system, and you sure as hell didn't think when you were jonesing for a hit so badly you were throwing up everything in your body.

"Do you have anything else you need to do before we leave, sweetheart?" Esme asked, stepping toward me, her arm circling my waist to support my swaying form.

"No. The only person I needed to say anything to stopped by earlier, and that was too much fun for me."

"Well, do you need to go to the bathroom or anything before we hit the road?"

"We're leaving now?" I asked, a little surprised by how quickly it had all come together. I was feeling pretty warm and toasty considering I'd had a nice hit.

"Sooner is better than later." Rosalie interjected. "As much as I love Vegas, I think its best you leave it behind you. I know you're not looking forward to this, but I think Carlisle has enough to prepare you one more dose before we get to our destination, the rest is being disposed of as hazardous waste."

I nodded, but inside my mind was already screaming about what I'd got myself into. I was about to leave this life behind, and with it, I was leaving my sanctuary and the only escape I'd ever managed to garner since my dad had died. I realized that it was my fear talking; I was terrified of the withdrawals and what they were going to do to me.

"You probably have a full day to deal with it. Just take your time and try not to think about it too much," Esme said gently, she picked up my bag as she guided me to the door.

I looked over my shoulder at the empty room that had once held all of my earthly possessions. All that remained were lighter areas of carpet and discolored spots on the walls. There was nothing of me to be left behind in a place like this, because I didn't have enough left to give. I was already too close to being an empty shell.

As Alice and Rosalie slipped past me with the last of the bed frame, Esme pulled the door closed behind us. I was really doing this. I was once again walking away from my life and not looking back.

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**Authors Note: **So now we know how they found out about Bella! Seems social networking is _not _Bella Swan's friend at the moment! I know it was another relatively slow one but I promise I'm building up to something here lol!

Thanks to all of you for read, alerting and adding to favorites, and thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. Your thoughts blow my mind and I hope I was able to answer questions even if it was a little late in getting there *grins* I love you all, and I wish I had a way of thanking you! For everything you do!

Pinkindeed... you know why I love and adore you! Without you this would have stayed a nagging thought in the back of my mind. Our talks always blew me away!

Hev99, Sabi'sSookie... I love you both so much and I am so lucky to call you friends, sisters and family!

**MWAH! **

N'miss


	11. Chapter 11: Attempted Civility

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 11: Attempted Civility**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

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_When a good man and a good woman  
__Can't find the good in each other  
__Then a good man and a good woman  
__Will bring out the worst in the other  
__The bad in each other_

_**The Bad in Each Other by Feist**_

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Being stuck in a car for hours on end had never really been something I enjoyed all that much, but being stuck in a car with Edward Cullen was so much worse, especially when he decided that he wanted to "talk." If it hadn't been for my begging Carlisle to bring two extra doses, I had an idea that I could lose my mind en route. Apparently my idea of it being a quick drive was far from the truth. Even with the Cullens mad driving it was going to take a day and I would apparently need to get rid of my drugs before we hit the airport. Which airport and why, I wasn't entirely sure, but after that, they'd told me to sleep as much as I could.

Leaving my life behind me didn't exactly put me in the greatest of moods, and as much as I hated to admit it, Edward was probably cursing his luck as much as I was about being stuck in a car with me. I was high, which force fed my confidence and made my frosty exterior as thick as an iceberg, but I was also aware of my surroundings enough to hold onto my grudge. Alice had been right about me not putting off the conversation with him forever, but I wasn't willing to waste my last couple of hits spilling my heart and soul to the man that had, for all intents and purposes, called me a plaything.

After ten hours in the car, and three bottles of water, I was beginning to believe I was about to explode. Sleep had managed to keep away a lot of the bladder pressure, but the closer we closed on eleven hours of traveling, the closer I came to wetting myself in the car. This of course ended the frosty stand off with Edward. As much as I hated to ask for anything, he was a vampire with no bodily functions or a need for sustenance I had no choice but to talk to him.

"I need to pee," I said simply, chewing on the side of my thumb as I looked out the window. It was short and to the point. No one could accuse me of beating around the bush at least.

"I saw a sign for a gas station in about a half mile."

"Thanks."

I turned my body completely away from his as I watched the stars glow gently somewhere behind the reflections of the dash on my window. It was close to five am, and all too soon, the sun would begin lighting the night sky and sending it into a blazing indigo, launching us into a new day. I was a day closer to being clean, a day closer to my attempt at grabbing the bull by the horns and living my life, and maybe I was a day closer to finally getting rid of the one shadow I could never seem to shake, Victoria.

It held so many possibilities for me, but at the same time, it was taking away my one safety net. The one thing that gave me a reprieve from my consuming guilt over my father's death. Had it not been for me, he could have been alive and happy with Sue Clearwater at this moment. Instead, he was dead, and there was nothing I could do to change that.

Edward pulled into the gas station and eased up to a pump. Without anyone around, Edward managed to get out of the car and slip his card into the pump slot before I had a chance to get to the door of the convenience store to pay for the gas. He was infuriating like that. He seemed to think he and his family should fit the bill for my cross-country hike.

I could see the ghost of a smile on his lips from where I was stood at the door. I hated to admit it even to myself, but it hadn't escaped my attention that it was the first genuine looking smile he'd had since he'd walked back into my life. The two of us had done nothing but butt heads since the moment I walked into the private room back at the club. I still believed I was perfectly entitled to be pissed off at him, and I wasn't intending to let him off, but for the sake of the road trip, I figured it wouldn't kill me to be civil to him for the rest of the drive. As long as he heeded my warning of staying off the topics that were off limits, I couldn't see us having a problem. I just needed to make sure it was clear that it was nothing but a truce.

When my body reminded me of the reason we'd stopped, I dashed inside and did what I had to. On my way back I bought enough snack foods to feed a wolf pack and skipped back to the car. As I'd been perusing the shelves in the gas station, I'd calculated that it would almost be time for another dosage, which would cut my civil act down to maybe only an hour.

It was amazing what I could talk myself out of while I was sat on the pot.

"Did you buy the whole store?" Edward asked, as I slipped into the car beside him.

"Just because you don't eat, doesn't mean you get to ostracize me for getting my appetite back. I figured I'd make the most of it before we need to call Carlisle."

"Do you need to?"

I gave him an incredulous look as I broke open a bag of Cheetos. My imaginings of civility left behind with the lights of the gas station Edward was leaving behind us at a ridiculous speed.

"We're getting on a plane, Edward. Do you really want to see me do a rendition of Linda Blair at thirty thousand feet, because I assure you, I don't."

"You seem to be doing well enough right now."

"That's because the drugs are still in my system. I'm sober enough to be coherent, but that can be changed if you like?"

"That's not what I was saying, Bella."

"Then what were you saying?" I asked, stuffing a couple of the cheesy corn puffs into my mouth.

"Lets just drop it for now. Do you think that maybe we could actually have a conversation now?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

I put some more chips into my mouth and took the chewing time to think about how to answer that question. Did I want to know his excuses? Did he even have an excuse for what he did? At that point, I wasn't even sure what he knew. Had they tried to contact my dad? Had Alice tried looking for his future? I just didn't know where the conversation would head, and I didn't want to bring on the glut of memories again. Especially when I was so close to going cold turkey. I had a feeling it would make the pain all the worse.

"On what you want to talk about," I said, after I swallowed. "You don't get to dictate what the topic is, Edward."

"What happened to you?"

"In what respect?" I asked defensively. As much as I knew I had changed, I didn't like the implication that it was a bad thing.

"Why the drugs and the . . . the–"

"Stripping. Just say the word, Edward, you're not going to damn your soul by saying it."

Edward sighed and wrung the steering wheel with his hands. I could see that he was getting frustrated already. Apparently he and I were on different wavelengths these days. Neither of us could seem to say something without the other taking it the wrong way.

"I was trying to be polite."

"It is what it is, dancing around it is just going to make it seem like a dirty word, and its not. It's not like I was a prostitute."

His pregnant pause said everything he couldn't seem to bring himself to say. He'd obviously realized what kind of club it was, he could read minds and I was certain he heard some unsavory business going on when he'd been there waiting for me. Of course, not being able to read my mind meant he had no fucking idea how I didn't buy into that bullshit. Sure, I fucked a couple guys that I decided were cute, but I wasn't paid for it, and it was down to personal choice.

"Yes, some of the girls offered that service. I know you're aware of that, but I wasn't one of them. Not that I owe you any kind of explanation."

I saw his hands flex on the steering wheel and relax and bit back the urge to mention my conquests since him. I hated that he got satisfaction from the fact that I hadn't whored myself out to the clientele at the club. It was an irrational thought, but I was so intent on not letting him get the better of me that I was considering painting a darker picture of myself. I really needed to get a grip.

"Can you tell me how you got into drugs then?"

That I could do. It didn't seem like an invasion of my privacy. If they were going to help me get past this, I was sure things like this would come up eventually.

"When I first got to Vegas, I met a guy and I lived with him for a while. I had no money and we had fun together, so he said I could stay with him until I found my own place. He got me the job at the club and gave me a hit to help with the stage fright. I discovered that it really helped keeping my head clear, so I picked up the habit."

"You make it sound like he introduced you to vegetarianism."

"It's just how it happened. There was no luring or forcing of hands. He offered me some help and I took it. We'd discovered liquid courage did nothing but make me more clumsy."

Edward's hands looked at though they'd be white knuckling the steering wheel if it was lighter. As it was, the leather and plastic groaned under his brutal hold.

"Bella, it's a Class A controlled substance, not a wine cooler. You had to know how addictive it was."

I sighed and pulled my knees up to my chest, rolling up the bag of Cheetos and dropping it to the floor by my feet. I wasn't sure I was doing the right thing in being quite this honest with him, but it was the closest to a conversation we'd had. I was in control of this exchange and it didn't dredge up any of my past beyond that. So for now, I was rolling with it, though I was certain the consequences would bite me in the ass at some point.

"Did it ever occur to you that I was well aware of how addictive it was, and just how much it would alter my reality? Have you even thought about how I could have needed that more than I needed to breathe at that point?"

"But why?"

"Because shit happens and I needed an out from the reality of my life. It became a crutch for me, something that helped all the pain and memories go away."

"Was it because I left?" He asked, I could hear the sorrow in his voice, there was something akin to regret lacing is tone as well, but it just made me mad.

"Wow. Your ego knows no bounds does it? How arrogant do you have to be to think you have the power to ruin someone's life like that?"

I knew he didn't mean to be supercilious. His leaving could well have pushed me to do something drastic had I not had Jacob to pick up the pieces. I, however, was never going to admit that to him. His leaving had ruined me for the first time. It had broken my heart and ripped it out of my chest in a way I didn't think was possible. I would never give anyone that kind of power again. Let alone him.

"I'm sorry. I just, help me understand what pushed you to such desperate measures."

"No."

"But–"

"No. This is the end of this conversation. Unless you change direction we're done talking."

The echo of the memories started to stretch out it's clawed arms and snake around my cerebrum. I didn't want to unleash this kind of emotion. From what they'd been saying we still had quite a way to travel and I couldn't let this start to unfurl and lodge itself behind my sternum it would only hasten the side effects of the drug withdrawal.

"Bella?"

"Just call Carlisle, Edward."

He didn't say anything more; I had effectively shut down the conversation by staring out the window at the flare of colors on the horizon. I'd thought I could have been a little bit honest with him, but it had spiraled so fast that I hadn't managed to pull up from the nosedive. Now I was shaking and sweating, and my stomach rolled violently behind my tucked in legs.

I heard him murmur into the phone before the car groaned and shot forward a little faster than it had been. The only thing I could think about was that I'd tried. I'd tried to have a decent conversation with him and it had led to disaster. If he and his family didn't know what they'd left behind, if they hadn't realized why my life had become in the wake of their exit, that wasn't my problem. I wasn't going to tell them anything if I could help it. I couldn't. I needed to keep that close to my chest, because it belonged to me.

I didn't want their sympathy or their guilt, and I definitely didn't want their pity. I just wanted some semblance of a life, and though I loathed to admit it, I needed their help. I just had to do this in steps. First step, getting clean. The rest would come with my lucid mind. At least that's what I had to believe. I couldn't imagine having to think this through while my mind was so scattered into a thousand different fragments like it was at that moment.

I watched the sunrise slowly as we drove. There was some cloud cover, but holes gave me a view at the deep teals and indigo of the sun greeting the horizon. It wouldn't last long, I could see the storm clouds rolling in from the north, and once it merged with the orb of light, it would cast grays around us. Just like the Cullens enjoyed.

We drove for almost thirty minutes before Edward pulled off the road and into the lot of a seedy looking motel where Carlisle's Mercedes was parked looking alluring in comparison to the somber building behind it. Edward was silent as he pulled up and pushed the car into park. I knew he had to be curious about the turn in our conversation, but I wasn't in a talking mood, and I needed a time out.

In all honesty, I needed the deliriousness of the chemical to help me forget. I needed to live in another plane of time so I didn't have to think or feel. I needed to get the hell away from reality and fall into a timeless vortex that would leave me on my own little cloud of oblivion.

I knew Carlisle wouldn't give me a double dose and let me sleep all the way thorough it, but I had another dose to look forward to, and if I could get that an hour before the flight, I had a feeling I could sleep through the rest of it.

I stepped out of my car and slid into the back of the sleek looking Mercedes. I could see Carlisle wasn't comfortable with this, but I doubted anyone in the motel would even notice. As seedy as it was, and with all of the semis in the back, I knew exactly what kind of place this was.

"Bella–"

"Please, Carlisle. Don't say it. I already know. If I can get the last hit two hours before we arrive at the airport I will be sober enough to walk through the place on my own, and I can sleep for the duration of the flight."

"Are you sure you want to take that much?"

Whatever they were expecting for an answer, my tears weren't it. I wasn't sure when they'd started or even the cause behind them, but for the first time in my life, I was happy about the fact I didn't cry that often. If I'd known it had the ability to twist a centuries old vampire to my will, I knew I would have overused it long before now.

He dug in his medical bag and pulled out what he needed, moving quickly to get everything ready. I didn't miss his eyes flickering around the parking lot though, and I couldn't blame him either. I couldn't imagine he would enjoy losing his medical license for jacking up a heroin junkie.

He slipped the tourniquet onto my arm and dispensed the drugs in a professional manner. Before he could loosen the tight band over my arm, Edward opened the car and pulled me into his arms. Just as I was about to protest, he released the thing with a snap and I relaxed into his chest as all thoughts fell from me in swirls of color...

I came back to the land of living to heavy rain falling from the skies. The rivulets of water made a mirage on the window and gathered at the base in a small pool. I could hear the wipers going frantically as the engine continued to drone on as though being pushed to its limits. I felt warm in my place, slumped against the seat of the car, and the smell surrounding me eased me further into my own little bubble of happiness.

I didn't move at all for a while, I just stared out of the window silently as the water continued its path down my windows in and endless stream. The jagged paths it took mesmerized me, and the way the speed of the car pushed it backward out of its gravitational destiny.

There was one drop, hanging on for dear life, fighting against the push of the wind. I lifted my finger and followed its path as it was forced in the direction it didn't seem to want to go in. I empathized with it. I knew how it felt to be pushed like that, to have my hand forced when I wasn't totally sure what I wanted.

Why would anyone want to give up this feeling of completely numbness in order to feel? Why would someone want to deal with the horrors of their past when they could leave it in a box at the back of their mind? I wasn't sure, but I knew I had committed to this. I had uprooted myself and was halfway across the country to who knew where.

"When did you rejoin the land of the living?" Edward asked from somewhere in the car. It sounded like he was at the end of a tunnel, but I knew he was right next to me. He had to be the one driving after all.

"A while ago, I've been watching the rain. Where are we?"

"Just outside of Pendleton, Oregon. Carlisle called and said if you meant what you said about taking the last of it two hours before we get there, we need to stop."

"How long have I been out?"

"About two hours."

"How long to the airport?"

"About two and a half."

"Then we need to stop."

"Bella–"

I sat up and pushed what I realized was his jacket from my shoulders. I hated that the smell of him still had the effect it always had on me, that much was obvious from one of my first coherent thoughts. It had been the smell of him on his jacket that had kept me in that happy bubble.

It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't, once again, executing his heavy handing of being the all knowing one and lording it over me. There were some things they knew more about, I could admit that. This, however, wasn't one of them.

"How long is the flight?"

"Four hours, and there's another three or four hour drive after that. Why?"

"Because that's ten hours." I snapped, pulling my legs to my chest again. I definitely wasn't earning points for originality. "If I took another hit now, I would still be scraping the barrel by the time we get there, but I would be out for another two hours, then I could sleep on the plane, and by the time we got there, I may still have enough brain power left to walk without puking. If I don't take this hit, somewhere between the airport and wherever the hell we're going, I will be a hot mess."

"Why are you so convinced you can't go that long?"

"Did you fucking see me yesterday?" I growled. I really just didn't have the energy to yell at him.

"No, you were out by the time I got there."

"Then be grateful for that. I was throwing up my stomach lining and starting to convulse. I don't want any of you to see that, especially not confined in a small space with me. Anyway, you're not my father, my brother or my lover, you don't get a say in this."

"Not by choice."

My head jerked in his direction so quickly, it cracked loud enough to reverberate in the small space of the car. I narrowed my eyes at him. He was killing my buzz for one thing, and he was treading dangerously on thin ice.

"Yes. It _was_ your choice, Edward. You're the one that left me because, if I remember rightly, I was no longer the distraction _you_ wanted. So please, don't feed me more of your bullshit. You can't get me to bend to your will by pretending you care."

"_Pretending_ I care?" He asked with a small laugh. "Just because I wanted you to have a normal life you think that I stopped caring? That I stopped _loving_ you?"

"Don't. You. Dare." I enunciated. Each word accented with my finger poking into his arm. "How dare you say that to me, Edward. You don't just walk away from someone you love. You don't cut them out of your life for almost seven years. I'm not an idiot, and if you think for a second I buy your shit, you're a bigger fool than I thought you were. I don't need your damn pity, shove it up your ass."

"Are you finished?"

"For now. You'd better be too, because you keep this shit up I'll get out of the fucking car, moving or not."

He growled under his breath and I heard a plastic snap from under his tensed fingers. I opened my mouth in displeasure. I couldn't believe after the bullshit he tried to feed me, he'd gone on to break an important part of my vehicle.

"You're paying for that asshole."

"Do you ever stop, Bella? What the hell happened to make you so bitter? I never thought you'd be capable of being this person."

"Really?" I asked with indignation. "Then you don't know me at all. You have no idea... No conception about what I've been through, so don't cast your judgment on me, Edward Cullen. I am not the girl you walked away from that September. You'd do well to remember that."

She could see Carlisle's Mercedes parked outside of a small diner on the side of the road. As Edward pulled into the spot next to it, I felt my anger well up inside of me. I knew better than to let it get free of my grasp, but the audacity of the man sat across from me was more than I could take.

"You know what, I'll ride with Esme and Carlisle for the last part of the drive, and since you're so curious all of a sudden, let me tell you this. I changed the day you walked into my life, it snowballed from there, so you ask me to believe you _love_ me? Think again, you're the worst decision I ever made, why would I do anything other than hate you?"

I got out of the car and slammed the door so hard behind me the glass shattered. I stomped my foot and growled through my teeth. My hands were balled so tight I was close to drawing blood from the palms of my hands; my eyes were just as tightly scrunched closed.

"Fuck!"

Edward ignored my exclamation and threw the car into reverse, the tires smoking on the ground before he fishtailed toward the exit.

"You now owe me new tires, asshole!" I screamed behind him, pulling open the door to the Mercedes. I pulled it closed with a little more etiquette and crossed my arms over my chest. That hadn't gone how I'd planned it to, but at least I was free from the Spanish Inquisition for a few hours. I just hoped they didn't expect me to sit next to him on a four-hour flight, there was a good chance I would either set fire to him, or he would eat me just to shut me up.

"Bella?"

"Sorry you had to see that. We had a disagreement," I said calmly, crossing my hands in my lap. I was amazed at how quickly the anger was dispersing now that Edward was out of my way. I just hoped he'd be kind to my car.

"I see that. Would you like to talk about it?"

"Not particularly. I was hoping you could fix me up so we can get on the road and get this over with. The sooner I'm sober, the sooner he's out of my life."

Carlisle and Esme exchanged a look, but I was beyond caring whether or not I'd offended their delicate sensibilities. I just wanted to get as far away from Edward as humanly possible, and I wasn't going to be able to do that while he thought I was a danger to myself. So I was going to prove a point, and I knew just the person to help me.

It was in those moments before Carlisle prepared the hit that I realized I didn't trust any of them to be with me while I was going through the withdrawals. There was only one person I respected enough to keep what was said or done to herself, and though I knew she wasn't going to like it, I had a feeling she'd do it simply because I had asked.

As soon as I we arrived at our destination, I would ask. Hell, the worst she could say was no, right?

* * *

**Authors Note: **I'm so sorry for the delay in posting, as I'm sure was the same for most of you these past two weeks have been a bit insane with the holidays. I actually tried to sit down and get this out bit every time I did, something seemed to pop up.

I'm going to double post so I will say thank you to you all and I love you and the next Authors note will be a little more thorough!

**MWAH!**


	12. Chapter 12: Hell Rising

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 12: Hell Rising**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

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_Safety net don't hold me now  
__In this hole I've fallen down  
__Secret home I've made and found  
__A new way to breathe_

_**Skin by Zola Jesus**_

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"Are we there yet?" I asked like a petulant child. Emmett snickered at my new mantra every time I said it, Rosalie ducked her head, and Edward just sighed with frustration.

As I'd suspected, I'd slept on the plane. It had been four hours of uninterrupted sleep from Spokane to Fairbanks, Alaska, which by the way was colder than a witch's titty. Somehow, Alice had produced a huge parka and snow boots for me from nowhere. I didn't even dare to ask. I was certain I wouldn't like the answer.

We'd only been in the car for an hour and a half, but every time the clock told me another fifteen minutes had passed, I asked again. He'd insisted on being the one to drive me, so I'd insisted on Rose and Emmett enduring the boredom with me. I had woken up on the wrong side of the plane, and Edward was my sole target. I still hadn't forgiven him for the small spat we'd had in the car on our way north.

"So, where are we headed?" I asked again. Edward had silenced the other two, and I had a feeling it was his own way of being petty and childish. Not that he would ever admit it.

"Bella–"

"_Bella."_ I mimicked. "_I already told you that you'd see when we get there_. Has it occurred to you that I'm not your prisoner, Edward? I am here by my own volition, or has that escaped your notice too?"

"Must you be quite so sarcastic?"

"Apparently so, because once again you're ignoring my question and acting like I'm going to be giving away state secrets."

I looked outside the window at all of the white covering the ground. The snowdrifts were huge on either side of the road, and since we'd left Fairbanks, all I'd seen were trees and mountains with the occasional gas station. Where he thought I'd go in this winter wonderland was beyond me. My phone was dead, and the sun was also setting giving me no point of reference at all. I was starting to believe he was attributing me with far more navigation skills than I actually possessed.

"Even if I was a prisoner, where the hell would I go, Edward?"

"You're not a prisoner, Bella."

"You could have fooled me."

"Could one of you two pipe in? Or is that too much to ask for?" Edward asked, turning his head to look at Emmett. I could see Emmett's dimples, so I knew he was still entertained by this petty bickering Edward and I had going on.

"Thanks, Rose. Just what I needed to hear," Edward snapped, looking into his rearview mirror.

"Then don't ask stupid questions, Edward."

The car fell into a pregnant silence. All of us stared out the window at the darkening landscape beyond the windows. There was no doubt that this place was beautiful. The peaks of the mountain ranges rose above the trees capped in bright white. The trees, reaching high into the dark slate blue sky, had gentle sprinklings of snow resting on their branches. I had a feeling that once the day had officially ended, and plunged us into darkness, there would be a myriad of stars, clearly seen from my place in the car.

I could hear the gentle movement of my three traveling companions. Emmett, I knew, hated this kind of tension and awkward silence. It was against his nature. He was the one that loved to crack jokes and lighten the tension, but I could imagine both Edward and I were making that impossible for him. Rose seemed satisfied to stare at the back of Edward's head with contempt, while Edward simply scowled and drove in silence, his eyes meeting Rose's in the mirror on occasion.

I was perfectly happy to leave it strenuous between Edward and I, but I felt responsible for asking Emmett and Rose to join me. I hadn't exactly made the trip entertaining for them.

"So, Rose. What have you been doing? Are you back in High School?"

She looked at me laconically before letting her perfect face break into a smile. "Thankfully, we've had a brief reprieve from that particular torture. Carlisle thought that we could go straight to college this time around. I think he knew that we wouldn't be there for too long." Her eyes moved to the back of Edward's head again and I saw him wince.

It was an interesting reaction for someone who liked to act like an emotionless robot most of the time.

"So you went to Ithaca College?" I asked a little stunned. Before my life had fallen to pieces, before I'd decided to stay close to Jacob, I had applied to Ithaca College. It seemed like one hell of a coincidence. Especially considering my other two choices had also been in New York. I had applied to Ithaca, NYU, CUNY, and Columbia.

"Some of us did." She corrected me.

Deciding that giving her ammunition to assault Edward was just creating more tension, I moved on to my last hope.

"How about you, Emmett? Did you go? Did you join a Fraternity and terrorize campus?"

He chuckled in good nature and turned in his seat to face me. "That wouldn't be in the spirit of keeping a low profile now, would it?"

"And that's stopped you before?"

This time he laughed, and was joined by Rosalie. If there was one thing I remembered fondly about them while they'd lived in Forks, it had been Emmett's mischief. Once I'd discovered their secret, I would often see him around school doing things he shouldn't, of course, by the time anyone noticed, he'd managed to get clear across the other side of campus, and nobody suspected him. He had been a master at hiding his penchant for trouble.

"True, but Carlisle was working in the Health Sciences Department, as well as working in the hospital, and he made us promise to keep a low profile. That of course limited me, no one else would suspect me, but I knew Carlisle would see right through that."

"How did he have time for that?" I asked. I knew how much work Carlisle put into a hospital. The fact that he had time to be a professor at a university would have eaten up most of his time.

"We'll talk about that later," Rose said quietly, shooting another look at Edward. I was beginning to think any subject would be off limits with them. I was starting to see how difficult I'd been since they'd walked back into my life. Though at least we all seemed to have the same target.

Once again, the car fell into a state of silence, and this time it was less strenuous. Well, for everyone other than Edward who seemed to be quietly fuming as he sped through the dark forests.

I was glad to see I had been right about the sky. As I leaned into the cold window, I looked up at the inky black sky where millions of points of light seemed to wink back at me. I stared up at them through the slight reflection of the dash light in the window. Of course they had a rented a huge SUV to get through the snow, but I don't know why I would have thought they would have used anything different. They really hadn't changed all that much since I'd last seen them.

As my eyes stayed fixated on the stars, a flash of green light flared from the north and spread across the night sky. Dancing through the atmosphere like some kind of mythical force of nature. It took me a second to realize what it was, but as soon as the name fluttered across my mind, it woke me out of the stupor I had been in since we'd got off the plane. How anyone could ignore the majesty of Aurora Borealis was beyond me.

I unwound my window a tiny amount so I could view it without the dim glow of the dash. The wind howled in through the small crack, sending my hair flying around my head as my eyes stayed on the beauty that held all of my attention. I felt my jacket being placed around my shoulders with a gentle squeeze from Rosalie. I placed my hand on hers for only a second before moving my hand to my mouth. For some unknown reason, the sight of it made my heart swell with hope. It made it hard to give up on a life when there were things like that to see. How could I have been so ready to give up when I hadn't seen anything that this life offered? I had just seen one of the seven natural wonders of the world. Why would I be stupid enough to not bother seeing the other six?

"Inspiring, isn't it?" Rosalie whispered, as I shivered and finally relented and wound up my window.

"I've never seen anything like it."

"I remember the first time I came up here with the family. It must have been..."

"Nineteen Thirty-Four," Edward finally said. "It was only a couple of months before you found Emmett."

"That's right," Rose said wistfully. "It was just after I had finished with... Carlisle thought I needed to get away before we settled down somewhere else. Of course we drove in those days, then ran what the car couldn't handle."

"Ahh the Auburn Eight hundred A." Edward laughed. "More often than not we ended up leaving it in Canada or Anchorage. Trying to get anywhere in that thing was impossible. There were barely roads then."

"I remember that car. Rose and I–" Emmett shut up as Rosalie glared at him, her head shaking infinitesimally. "That was the car that got Rosy into mechanics."

"That you and Rose what?" Edward asked, turning his head to look at his brother. I could see how narrowed his eyes were, even from the back seat. "I still have it in storage in Chicago. Please don't say you sullied the upholstery."

"Oh please." Emmett laughed, slapping Edward on the shoulder. "We're adults, we could control ourselves."

"Give me the year."

Emmett opened his mouth, but Rose leaned forward, slapping her hand over his mouth. "Do not fall into that trap, Emmett. So help me God, I will make you pay."

"You did!" Edward fulminated, his eyes moving incredulously to his brother and sister. "You defiled my car, a car I can tell you is worth a lot of money in mint condition. Please say you were careful. I may never look at it the same way but I can forgive you if there's no damage."

"We're not animals." Rosalie snorted.

"You could have fooled me."

I couldn't help laughing at them as they bantered about something that had happened before my parents had been born. In a way it felt weird to hear this kind of thing, but at the same time, it reminded me of the time I'd spent with the family before the disaster of them leaving. It eased me a little, even with a small case of the shakes bubbling up in me. It had been almost eight hours since my last hit, and the sleep and snark had been keeping it at bay, but the mind part of it was giving way to my bodies starvation of the narcotic.

I tried to focus on Rosalie and Edward's exchange as sweat beaded on my forehead. I really didn't want to go into withdrawals before we got to our destination and I had a chance to talk to Rosalie. I needed to make sure she wouldn't mind being there for me, that she wouldn't mind warding away the others and stopping me from saying too much. The last thing I needed was for them to find out what I'd been hiding before I was ready to talk about it. In some ways, I knew I should have been upfront about all of this, but I was still angry with them, and I wasn't the best person at communicating while I was holding a grudge. It meant the bare minimum of information for them and a thousand questions I wasn't ready to answer for me.

It was another hour before we pulled off the main road and onto a small dirt one that was a slushy dirty brown from the snow and mud. It reminded me too much of the one that had led to their house in Forks and tried not to think of the last time I'd been there when it had been empty and abandoned, the trees overgrowing and the darkness of the house that had once held so much love and light. The reminder of the scene made an uncomfortable feeling settle inside of me, which only egged on the violent shudders that were beginning to control me.

My mind had already come to terms that I had no more drugs and wouldn't, but my body was already clawing at me to take care of the problem. My eyes were watering, and the sweat was already starting to trickle down my back in slow rivulets. My foot tapped a quick beat under me as I looked out the window looking for some strength to hold of a little longer. It wasn't too bad, but being confined in the small space of the vehicle made it impossible to put them off. Even my hands were drumming out a rhythm on my legs.

"Bella?"

"What?" I snapped, unintentionally.

"We're almost there. Just try and relax, take deep breaths."

"Easy for you to say." I grumbled.

"Carlisle has done his homework, Bella. He's called the best of the best when it comes to detox. Believe me, we're going to make you as comfortable as possible."

I nodded and looked out the window again. I had no doubt that Carlisle would do everything in his power. I had even heard that he was considering methadone, but I had stopped that. I didn't want to replace the habit with another one. I wanted this over with.

Edward stopped the car outside of a building that looked more than a garage than a house or a cabin, and when he got out and entered a code in the little box and the doors opened, and I realized just how accurate I had been. There were other cars inside, as well as a few other pieces of equipment. Edward got back in and pulled the SUV inside, as did the car behind us.

"Where are we?"

"We're here, but there's a small run up the mountain to get to the house. Emmett's going to carry you."

"I can–"

"Thanks, Emmett," I said, offering him a grim smile. I wasn't in the mood to argue with Edward about this. I knew he would probably protest over it all again, but the closer I got to the withdrawals kicking my ass, the less I wanted him around. "Rose, do you think you and I could have a word? ... In Private?"

"Sure, I don't see why not."

I looked at Edward pointedly, but he didn't budge. Rosalie followed my glance and sighed in the elegant way only she seemed able to pull off. I could only hope to sound so gracefully disdained.

"Edward, why don't you go and make sure they're ready for us?"

"They are."

"Don't be petulant. Just go and give us a few minutes."

Without another word, Edward slid from the car and slammed the door behind him. It was obvious I had inadvertently pissed him off again. I was getting good at that... Without even trying.

"Rose–" She put up her hand to stop me and looked as though she were still listening.

"Edward, I can still hear you, which I know means you can hear us." She stopped and listened again, her porcelain nose scrunching up a little as she listened to what I could only assume was his reply. "I don't care, you need to start respecting her wishes."

It was another thirty seconds before she turned her saffron eyes to me, and nodded for me to go ahead.

"I was hoping you could do something for me."

"If it's within my power, I can assure you I will do my best."

"Can you make sure that everyone is out of the house for the worst of this? From what I've read it's going to get pretty nasty, and I'm worried about what will be overheard. I know Carlisle and Esme are going to want to stay close, but could you keep the rest of them away?"

"We're all ready for this, Bella. You have nothing to be ashamed of."

I wriggled in my seat before turning to completely face her. "There are a few things that I'm not sure I'm going to be able to hide. I know that hallucination is going to be a part of this. I need some time to come to terms with all of this before I share anything, and I know I can trust you with the secret until I'm ready."

"What kind of secrets?"

I gave her a look. I was trying to communicate that if I wasn't ready to say them out loud to everyone else, I would rather not do it now. If someone had to overhear I would prefer it to be her, but beyond that, I wasn't interested in talking about it.

"Okay, but I have one condition."

I nodded for her to go on.

"If I do overhear something you don't want discussed, you and I have to discuss it when you're through the worst of it. My imagination is pretty bad, and I will only think the worst if you don't explain. Then I'm not sure I would be able to keep it to myself."

"I think I can agree to that. But do you understand what you may have to deal with?"

"You're not the only one that's done her homework, Bella. I may be blonde, but I don't fit the profile as completely as some may think."

I'd never thought of Rose as anything but smart, but I understood what she was telling me. They'd all been doing a little research of their own and they'd prepared themselves on what to expect when it started getting worse.

"Thank you."

She nodded and opened the car door, sliding out and offering me her hand. I took it, and she pulled me easily from the vehicle. Pulling my jacket tight around me, I tugged on the beanie that had also been given to me at the airport. I wasn't thrilled about this run I'd just been promised. I hadn't forgotten how quickly they moved, but the hair on my arms was standing up on edge and the cold air was already making it hard to breathe.

"I'm going to carry you halfway up to the house where Emmett's waiting. Are you okay with that?"

"Yes. Thank you."

She scooped me into her arms without any pomp or circumstance and I closed my eyes. I knew that the scene must have looked odd to anyone that could have happened upon us in that moment. It wasn't often you saw a woman that looked like the living breathing version of Barbie carrying a girl up the side of a mountain.

As she'd said, we met Emmett a way up the path to the house, and I was traded off effortlessly. Rosalie looking as though she'd exerted no energy at all in taking me as far as she had. Emmett seemed to use even less. He pulled me against him as tough I were nothing but a feather pillow and loped gracefully further up the mountain.

When we finally got to our destination, I was gob smacked. The trees gave way to a huge home that almost looked like a log cabin on steroids. It overlooked the forest with one wall of huge windows that opened up onto the balcony. It was dark enough that I couldn't make much more out, but from what I could see it was beautiful.

"Where are we?"

"Our home," a voice said from the darkness.

It was feminine and slightly accented and I couldn't help but look around the space for who it belonged to. The woman stepped out from the shadow of the house and into the light that poured from the huge windows. She was more beautiful than I had imagined. Her strawberry blonde hair hung loosely around her shoulders, dangling daintily over the fur hood of her jacket. She was slim and curvy, her yellow eyes somehow complimenting her clear skin.

"I'm sorry, how rude of me. I'm Tanya, welcome to the Denali national forest, and our home. You must be Bella; come inside and meet my sisters and brother."

Emmett dropped me unceremoniously on my feet in front of the woman and ruffled my hair with his spade like hand. "Come on, unlike some of us, you're going to freeze if you stay out here."

I followed him and the woman into the house with my arms wrapped around myself, Rosalie followed behind me, buffeting me from doing a Bambi impression and losing my footing on the icy stairs.

The interior of the place was even more impressive than I ever could have imagined. Being that it looked like a cabin on the outside, the interior did nothing to reflect the rustic exterior of the house. All of the furniture was smooth line and clean edges. The art deco style fit somehow. I edged further into the room and headed toward the fire burning in the corner. The heat of it licked against my sweat dampened skin and took the edge off the chill I was feeling.

"Bella? Oh there you are." Tanya sang, floating toward me gracefully. "These are my sisters, Kate and Irina, and I believe you know Laurent." I shuddered involuntarily and nodded. There had been an interlude where Victoria had mentioned I should watch my back for him, but he'd never shown up. "And of course Carmen and Eleazar."

I looked up at the two new beautiful blondes, one of them with shoulder length hair, gripping the hand of Laurent. The other was astoundingly beautiful with white blonde hair and a kind smile. Beside them were their almost polar opposites. Their skin, though still pale held the slightest olive tone to it, and both had dark hair, Carmen's curling around her shoulders in beautiful waves. If I hadn't known they were vampires, I would have easily known, nobody else had that kind of ethereal beauty to them.

"Nice to meet you all." I smiled and nodded, unwilling to touch any of them considering my skin was breaking out in gooseflesh and I was more than aware of my nose starting to run. "I'm sorry about the inconvenience."

"It's no trouble, it's our first intervention."

"It's not an intervention." Edward grumbled, but I gave him a glare for being rude. He had no right to correct a woman in her own home, and certainly not on my account.

"You can call it what you want," I said over the top of him, offering Tanya a smile. "He doesn't speak for me."

"So it would seem." Tanya laughed playfully. "I see he's finally met his match. You are the Bella he's been pining over for the last six years aren't you?"

I think I stopped breathing, and I saw Edward go rigid in my peripheral vision. Tanya's golden eyes moved between the two of us and she giggled with an air of apology as she looked between us. I knew I was being rude and tried to take a deep breath, but it was impossible until Rose thumped me on the back.

"I spoke out of turn. Ignore the faux pas. I will keep my mouth shut about things I have no understanding of in the future." She grinned, her eyes on Edward with a mischievous glint in her eye. "But I see you and I becoming fast friends, Bella. Why don't we go and see which room we can give you, furthest from my cousins."

"That would be great, thanks."

"I'm going to arrange what you asked me too, and I'll be right with you, Bella," Rose said quietly as I passed. I hoped she could pull it off, because with the look Edward was giving me, I knew his immediate answer would be no. I could see that need to talk to me yet again and tried to hurry past him so he wouldn't try to corner me again.

Thankfully, he didn't, and I followed Tanya in silence as Rosalie took control of the curious crowd below.

"So, I don't mean to pry, but I heard you were an exotic dancer in Vegas for a while?" Tanya asked, dropping my bag on the bed in a beautiful room with the only rustic design I'd seen so far in the huge house.

"You're not prying. Believe me it's no longer a big secret."

"I heard about what the human did in outing you. I thought that was a pretty shitty thing to do considering. Wasn't he a friend of yours?"

"'_Was_' being the operative word. I think with my being a stripper he thought I would change my answer of no I so freely gave him in high school."

Tanya sat on the edge of the bed and looked me over for a second before a smile broke across her lips. For a moment I was inclined to ask what the matter was, but she spoke without prompt, patting the bed next to her.

"I was sure I wouldn't like you. To know that Edward had passed me over for a mere mortal, I have to admit I felt a little spurned. I have often wondered what it was you possessed that I didn't. I think I'm finally beginning to understand what it was Edward was holding out for, but I will hold off the judgment until you are well and we've had time to talk properly."

"You and Edward?" I asked, the rivulets of sweat on my back thickening as I shivered with the chill that had taken up residence in my veins. The onslaught of the detox was beginning to slowly shift into an ache, but I tried to push it into the back of my mind.

"Sadly, there was no Edward and I, but that didn't stop me from trying. Thankfully, I have plenty here to keep me busy, and I learned that there was no changing his mind. We'll talk more about this. For now, if you don't mind my saying, I think you need to start preparing for the worst, I can smell the chemicals in your perspiration."

I shuffled away from her, feeling like a leper, but she stopped me. Resting her hands on mine. "I didn't want to offend you, dearest, but I didn't want you struggling for propriety's sake. You have an en suite bathroom should you need it. If there's anything at all I can do. Just ask."

"Keep Edward away from here, please, and everyone else. I've asked that just Rose, Carlisle and maybe Esme see this mess. It's not going to be a good thing and I don't want an audience."

"I give you my word." She nodded and walked to the door, opening it. Before she left she turned back to me, all hint of playfulness gone. "If Laurent in any way is inappropriate, please come to me. He's still new at all of this and though my sister has the greatest confidence in him. I do not."

She didn't wait for a response, and I appreciated that. It was hard enough he was in the house with me after the threats that Victoria had thrown at me the last time we'd met before she murdered my father. I still wasn't exactly sure that she'd been lying about it all. I just hoped that having the Cullens around would ease the terror and stop the memories from snowballing into a complete emotional melt down.

I shuddered again, this time my stomach rolling with discomfort as the small echo of a cramp pinched deep inside of me. Hell was about to reign, and I needed to get everything done before it hit me like a brick wall and all of my faculties left me for a while.

* * *

**Authors Note: **

_**HAPPY NEW YEAR!**_

Again, I am so sorry and I hope the double chapter makes up for it a little bit. Bella is about to go through hell, and I doubt she will be in her right mind, so Rosalie will take over the next chapter. Let me tell you she was hard to tune into. That woman is a mystery to me. I'm hoping that things will be back on schedule now! I hate not updating on time, it gives me an itch and I feel like I've forgotten something. Not fun at all.

I just want to say thank you to the new readers and my apologies for not responding to your reviews. I think I got most of them after the last chapter, and that too should equalize from now on. Thank you all so much for reading, favoriting and adding to your alerts, and of course for your reviews. I read each and every one of them and I love you all for taking the time to write them out. They're thoughtful and that means the world to me.

As always, PinkIndeed, thank you for brainstorming with me. Your inspiration has been amazing and I love you to bits.

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie... You girls are amazing and I love you both so much that I wouldn't know what to do without you and I'm kinda unsure what I did before you.

Love you all!

**MWAH! **


	13. Chapter 13: Rosie

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 13: Rosie**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_I feel alone here and cold here  
__Though I don't want to die  
__But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside  
__**Cut by Plumb**_

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*****R****OSALIE POV*****

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I couldn't get the thought out of my head that had I been human, I would have been what they called a hot mess. When I'd agreed to look after Bella I'd never thought it would have been as bad as it was. Sure, I'd read up on what to expect, so the shakes and groans of pain had been nothing. The sweating and runny nose had been less than pretty but I'd been warned in advance. Even the constant release of her bowels, which wasn't something I enjoyed at all, had been manageable.

It had been two days since Bella had jacked her veins with the poison that managed to make her smell like a chemical plant, and I had been through all of those stages multiple times. The room stank of her body odor and excrement, even though Esme and I had cleaned it up and given her a shower that had made her scream bloody murder. The stubborn woman had forbidden Carlisle to give her methadone, which meant she was going cold turkey. Cold turkey was proving to be shock therapy for me. I hadn't even known a human body could bend in that direction.

The first day hadn't been so bad, for me anyway. I'd managed to send the family away, threatening bodily harm if they showed up on the clean side of a week. Only Esme and Carlisle had remained, and between the three of us, we'd managed to keep Bella comfortable. I'd underestimated her intelligence at asking us to be the ones to help her. It hadn't been until the begging and pleading had started that I realized the reason behind her asking me. I had a stubborn streak that could match hers and tackle it to the ground and she'd known it. I found myself thinking about giving the girl more credit in the future; that was until I had to wipe her nose every five minutes and mop her brow with a cool cloth to keep the fever down. Getting herself into this mess to begin with ate up some of those props, and left her once again somewhere in the middle.

When we'd been traveling, I hadn't thought for a moment that her comparison to the ridiculous movie _The Exorcist_ would be accurate, but sat with a bucket in one hand, and her hair in the other it was easy to see how she'd come to the conclusion.

For the second day, I'd been cleaning up more bodily mishaps and trying to talk her into laying still and get some rest. Her body had started twisting, her hands clawing at the sheets as she cried out and pleaded with one of us to just kill her already. She was in pain, and the three of us knew it, but there was nothing we could do without making situations worse. It was bad enough for Carlisle to take her vitals every hour, he even prepared some adrenaline at one point when her heart started beating so slow it was only seconds from stopping. He had no idea what else to do, and neither did I.

Esme had been a godsend. Her maternal instincts came into play in the few and far between moments when Bella was lucid and crying in pain. I'd never fully appreciated how she took care of people until I saw her on her knees at the side of Bella's bed, brushing her damp hair from her sweaty forehead and whispering words of encouragement to her. When she wasn't doing that, she was on the computer, researching everything she could on how to handle this and what more we had to expect.

There were hundreds of sites, and more claiming their method was the best there was.

It was at three am on the third morning that things got almost too much for me to take. I was lounging on the chair beside her bed, feeling exhausted for the first time since I'd been changed. It had been a harrowing experience, but there was no way for me to know how much worse it was going to get. Bella had been sleeping with little movement, so Esme and Carlisle took the opportunity to slip out and feed quickly, they were staying close to the house, but I hoped they were out of earshot.

The room was probably dark in human standards, but for me, it was just dim enough to close my eyes enough to pretend I was sleeping. I had a blessed break, so I was taking the opportunity to do nothing and take a breath.

It was just as I'd managed to get myself comfortable when Bella bolted upright as though she'd been possessed. I only opened one eye, because I hadn't known if it was as simple as her coming back to herself. Most of the text we'd found suggested she was getting close to the end of her torture. It wasn't until her glassy eyes opened wider than I'd known they could go, and a scream of horror fell from her lips that I bolted upright myself. My hands closed around the top of her arms as gently as I could manage. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do, because I was on edge and nervous. I didn't do well with human emotions, and this was probably the worst one. The adrenaline flooded her system and I could smell her tears.

"Help him, please, God, help him!" She screamed, her hands tangling in the rats nest of hair from her sweat and writhing. I'd seen raw, stark terror before in my long life, but that moment with Bella was possibly the most harrowing thing I'd ever seen.

"Help whom, Bella?" I asked calmly, attempting to untangle her fingers before she pulled out handfuls of hair. I was trying to keep myself from adding to her already unstable emotions. Even if I was unsure of whether it was the right thing to do.

She turned her head to the sound of my voice but looked right through me. Her glassy eyes focused on something behind me so intently that I found myself looking over my shoulder to make sure no one was there; even though every one of my senses told me we were alone.

"She's killing him." She whimpered, her legs scissoring under the blankets as a cry of pure agony bubbled from her.

As a vampire, I had no heartbeat or warmth in my body, but I could feel the air around us grow cold as Bella's body started jerking under my touch. It was like living in a horror movie with no way to help. Bella was lost in her own mind living out a nightmare I could only hope was fabricated.

"Daddy, no! No, no, no, please God, no!"

It was then she fell into uncontrollable tears, her body folding in on itself until she was so small I wasn't sure how she'd managed it. My breathing hitched and stopped altogether at the avowel, it took a moment for the words to penetrate but it sank in my body like a stone. As much as I wanted to shake her and ask her what the hell she was talking about, part of my mind reminded me that it was impossible. She wasn't in her own head. She was lost in her pain and buried deep in her own mind. I wasn't even sure she knew who I was or where she was at that point.

I'd always prided myself on having a cool head in a chaotic situation, but how were you supposed to fight against something that was buried deep in someone else's mind? How was I supposed to extricate this girl from her own horrific nightmares and bring her back to the present? I'd already pushed aside the reality that it wasn't a figment of her imagination, no one would react to a situation that could have happened, even when it seemed she was hallucinating. You had to live through something like that to get a reaction like of that magnitude. The human mind was capable of many things; the imagination was one of the most power tools they had at their disposal, but to see the unspeakable emotions flooding through this small woman wasn't a product of what if. It was a memory.

I was beginning to understand exactly why she hated us as much as she did when we'd walked back into her life. I just had one more question in my mind, however, that I feared I already knew the answer to.

"Bella, honey. Who did this?"

She shook her head and rolled to the side on the bed, the sheets sticking to her sweat covered skin. I wasn't Jasper, but I could feel her body relaxing as she came back to reality. Her breathing evened out before she answered, and by the time Esme and Carlisle came back, she'd fallen into a deep restful sleep. It was the first time since the whole thing had started that she'd been this way. I just hoped for her sake it was the end of it. I wasn't sure her heart could take much more of it.

I didn't move from her side the whole time she slept. Even when her legs began to scissor and she grumbled in her sleep, I could do nothing more than climb onto the bed with her and stroke her tangled hair to ease her back into peace. I was beginning to realize just why she'd asked me to take sole responsibility for her rehabilitation. She'd known she couldn't hide from this. She'd done her homework, just as much as we'd done ours.

Bella slept for another twelve hours, only stirring once or twice in that time, her eyes not even opening as she mumbled my name. The moment I assured her I was still there, she fell back into her own darkness.

While Bella slept, I soul searched. Things between the two of us would never be the same again. As reluctant as I would have been to admit it almost four days ago, I knew I had more admiration for Bella than I ever could have imagined. Watching her travel through hell made it impossible to hold disdain for the girl she'd been all those years ago.

All of us had been so naive to follow Edward out of there without question. I'd been the first to back him up in his decision, and I wasn't arrogant enough to make excuses for my choice. I didn't like that Bella had wormed her way into out lives and was threatening to change our small family, when everything was just fine as it was. I had been selfish and irrationally jealous, and for the first time in almost seven years, I regretted it.

"Rose?"

"I'm right here, Bells," I said, using the pet name Emmett always used. After what we'd been through, even Bella seemed too formal. "How are you feeling?"

"You don't want to know the answer to that."

"I think I can probably guess. You want me to draw a hot bath for you? It might help with the aches."

Bella stretched out her body and grumbled under her breath as she winced in pain. I imagined the bath was sounding like a pretty good idea to her right then. A contortionist couldn't have pulled off some of the things Bella had without some serious aches and pains. Even I knew the human body should never jackknife like that.

"Would you mind?" She asked, sniffing the shirt she was wearing and turning up her nose. "I think I need it."

"I wouldn't have asked if I minded." I snorted, climbing from the bed. "I'm going to get some lavender bath salts to help relax you. Just stay where you are."

"It would take an act of God to get me to move willingly." She groaned, rolling flat on her back and spreading out her arms on the huge bed. I couldn't help but laugh at her as she looked up at me pitifully. "How bad was it?"

"We'll talk when I get back."

She nodded, but dropped another dozen expletives as she did. I left her alone in the room as I ran down the stairs and into the kitchen where Carlisle and Esme spoke quietly amongst themselves almost conspiratorially. I'd heard them talking about Bella's future, and trying to get her back to Charlie so she would be safe. They hadn't heard a word of her hallucinations, and I didn't have the heart to break Bella's confidences at the moment. We would get to the bottom of that soon enough, but only after the others returned, because I wasn't going to have her repeat the story.

"She's awake. Do we have any food to give her?"

"We'll drive down to the diner and pick her up something fatty and unhealthy," Carlisle said, seeming to be relieved that it was coming to an end. This experience had been hard for me, but they'd always loved her, so I knew that it went further for them. I'd only had a about a week to reacquaint myself, and it had woken my ass up.

"You sure that's wise?"

"Her stomach problems should have abated by now," he said quietly.

I nodded in agreement and leaned my hip against the counter. "I'm going to run a bath for her. Do you know where Tanya keeps the lavender salts she's always going on about?"

"Master bathroom, I believe," Esme said gently. As I turned to leave, she caught my hand and turned me back to her, her eyes full of something I didn't think I'd seen all that often when she looked at me. Pride. "You did wonderfully with Bella, Rose. I don't think anyone else could have done this but you."

The feeling that came with the praise was alien to me. There were two reasons I didn't usually get this kind of treatment from our guardians. The first was being married to Emmett, he had the best intentions at heart, but the man was the incarnation of mischief. The second was my attitude. I wasn't so far gone that I didn't see what I was doing wrong. I had a princess complex, and the only one that catered to that was Emmett. To everyone else I was sure I came off sounding like a spoiled brat.

"I appreciate that, Esme. While you're out, if you see the others don't tell them she's past the worst of it just yet. I want to give her a few days to get her strength back before Edward starts in on her again."

"We were just discussing that. For her sake, it may be better to take her back to her father."

"That's not an option." I answered to quickly making both of my parents look up at me with frowns. "I'll explain later, but for now let it be."

"Rose?"

"It's not my story to tell, and I'm asking that you keep this to yourself and to not go digging. If you do, I have a feeling you're only going to make things worse for her."

They nodded and I knew they would stay true to their word. I didn't feel the need to say much more. They would get Bella her burger and I would draw her a bath and we would get on with her healing. I was reassured that they trusted me enough to do what I had to do before I explained myself. I also needed to talk to Bella first.

It wasn't until I entered Tanya's pretentious bathroom that I hit a brick wall. In a move that was less vampire than anything I'd ever done before, I stumbled on my feet and had to lower myself to the tub to catch my unnecessary breath. I perched on the edge and stared at my reflection in the mirror. If I didn't talk to someone, I was going to explode. It wasn't some leftover human need to gossip. This was the release of an emotional weight that threatened to drown me. I wasn't a robot, even though I tried very hard to appear as one sometimes.

There was only one person on the planet that knew me well enough to deal with this side of me. I pulled out my phone and hit the speed dial, waiting as it rang once.

"Hey, babydoll."

When he was met with silence, the playful tone left his voice completely.

"Can you talk?" I asked. It was our code for get far away so we have some privacy. We both loved our family dearly but sometimes we needed a moment, and this was one of those times.

"Give me a minute."

I listened as he made excuses about the trail of a bear. It was followed by the howl of wind through the phone.

"Rosy, baby?"

"I miss you."

"Now I definitely know something's up."

I rolled my eyes. There were absolutely no words for how much I loved this man. He knew me so well he knew when to shut up and when to attempt to make me smile. He lived to make me slap him, because he knew he'd get to make it up to me later. The sky could be falling around us and he would know what I was thinking or feeling long before he noticed the end of the world. He was attuned to me, just as I was to him, and he was the only one that I could talk to about this and know he may actually manage to keep his mouth shut this time.

"This has got to stay between you and I, Em. I wouldn't tell you at all, but I can't do this alone. Can you keep your mouth and thoughts to yourself?"

"I think I can manage that."

"I'm serious, Emmett!" I growled. "It's one of those times I need you."

"What the hell happened?" He asked, all traces of joking gone. "Oh shit, you didn't change Bella did you?"

"I'm hanging up."

"Don't, I was just checking to see if Edward was eavesdropping. If it's as serious as you say, he doesn't need to be anywhere near me."

The man amazed me at times. He acted like such an idiot in front of everyone, always playing the fool; it was difficult to remember how smart he was underneath all of that.

I took a deep breath and steeled myself to say it out loud.

"Charlie's dead. Bella was hallucinating. It was the one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, Em. There was nothing I could do to ease the pain of her reliving it. If you could have seen her face... I never imagined..."

"How?" Emmett growled. Much like me, he hadn't got to know Bella's dad, but he would have known how it had affected Bella, and that, to him, was unacceptable. He'd always had a soft spot for her. Her innocence had reminded him of his baby sister before he'd almost died and had to leave his family behind.

"She didn't say the name, but she mentioned a she."

I heard the snarl before the uncivilized part of him was unleashed. He sounded like the bears he had such a taste for. I'd known he wouldn't be happy about it, and both of us knew the only '_she_' that was capable of killing someone and bringing that much horror to Bella was a loose end we hadn't thought to tie up. I'd known Edward had tracked her for a while, but the trail had died, and he'd never been able to pick it up again, and now I knew why. She'd been in Forks the whole damn time.

"I'm going to kill her."

"And I'll be burning the pieces," I said with quiet menace.

"You look after her, Rosy. I knew something was off, but this explains so much."

It did. I couldn't fault her for needing the escape of the drugs now I understood what was following her around. I couldn't understand why she hadn't said anything, but the moment I rejoined her upstairs, I hoped that she would open up when I explained what I'd heard. It was going to be hard for her to relive this, but if I were the only one that she wanted to talk to about it with, I would hold her confidence until she was ready to reveal it. I just knew she needed to get it out.

"I will, Emmett. I love you."

"I love you too, and I'll see you soon."

"Keep your thoughts to yourself."

"I swear it."

With that, he was gone, and I was once again alone in this mess, wondering how the hell I was going to get Bella to open up to me. Grabbing the bath salts, I headed out of the room, and back to my charge, steeling myself again the story I was about to hear.

* * *

**Authors Note: ** Not a long chapter I'm afraid, and it was mostly recapping after the fact, but I think this was hard for them all. Especially for Rose who I don't think expected this at all. I know it's not the revelation some of you wanted, but it will unfold. I have a plan *winks*

Sorry for the lack of RR's. It was another short week and it kicked my butt. As much as I enjoyed all that time off, I can't say I'm not happy to have things back to normal.

Thank you all for reading, adding to alerts and favorites and of course for taking the time to review. You guys have no idea how much I appreciate you doing that. I know how busy some of you are!

Thank you as always to Pinkindeed who has encouraged and plot bunnied with me. You're a doll and I love ya!

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie. You know I love you more than I can possible express. Thank you for everything you do and for always being there when things get crazy!

**MWAH!**


	14. Chapter 14: Confessions

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 14: Confessions**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_But it's you who brought me here  
__It's you and all your cheers  
__You who brings a fear  
__You, through all these year_

_**Slow by Grouplove**_

* * *

I wasn't sure why Rosalie was gone so long. I just knew that no matter how much I wanted that bath, I was glad to just lay there awake and catalogue my aches. They started in my brain, pounding away against my skull like a jackhammer, and moved all the way down to my toes that felt like they'd been cramping for forty-eight hours straight. For all I knew, they probably had been.

There was no part of my body, mind or soul that didn't hurt. Even lying completely still in the middle of the huge bed, I hurt. There was no rhyme or reason to a lot of them. Like how the hell did one injure the cartilage in their ear? Or what would make my left boob ache like a gorilla had groped me?

Even my throat felt like it had been in a tangle with some heavy-duty sandpaper. The only flashes of memory I had through most of the experience was the unbearable pain that seemed to have consumed everything else around me. I hadn't been aware of anyone or anything other than the pain. Then there was the insatiable need my body seemed to have for the drug, which clawed at me.

The unfortunate side effect that seemed to stay with me, were the dreams. They'd been so real, so vivid that there were times when I literally couldn't distinguish between what was going on inside of my head and what was going outside of it. Some of these dreams had just been me; alone in the forest behind my dad's house, with the unrelenting knowledge that someone was watching me. Then I relived my fathers death over and over again, unable to escape it as it ran on an uninterrupted loop. It was like payback for the years I'd managed to suppress it through the drug. The moments I'd dodged, paid in full at cash out.

If I'd known that in the beginning, maybe it would have deterred me from ever starting the stupid crap to begin with. It was just too late for regrets. It was over and done with, and though I was certain there would always be a part of me that hungered for it, I took solace in the fact that the worst of it had passed.

I wasn't sure if it was the smell that surrounded me, or the gritty feel of the sheets against my skin, but I was ready to get out of the bed. The kinks in every one of my muscles seemed to demand my attention, and there was no ignoring it. With slow, deliberate movements, I made an attempt to shuffle to the edge of the bed. It was slow going considering every flex of muscle sent a huge wave of agony through me.

By the time I actually managed to get on my feet, Rosalie danced through the door, the picture of grace and ease.

"Bitch." I grumbled under my breath, but it only seemed to make her laugh.

"That bad?"

"If you can imagine being run over by a steam roller, followed by a stampede of elephants and to top it all off dragged a thousand miles behind a Nascar, you may come close to the way I'm feeling right now."

"Then I have to say I'm glad I am impervious to that kind of pain."

"And again I say, bitch!" I snorted, taking her arm as she rushed to help me rise to my feet. She helped me get into a steady rhythm. When I was completely stable, she released me and headed to the bathroom, while I paced like an ancient invalid with hip and back problems.

She didn't say a word as she poured the bath, and I had the distinct feeling she was building up to something. I wasn't sure what exactly, but I could only guess given the nature of the nightmares I'd been having. I had no idea what to expect, but I couldn't shy away from answering her questions after she'd been decent enough to actually stay with me and followed through by getting rid of the others. The least I could do was pour my heart out to her and hope that she'd keep it to herself.

I continued my laps around the room, easing the tight muscles in my legs. I was stumbling more than I even had in my life and I was beginning to wonder if life with the drug was the only thing giving me semi decent balance.

The hunger for the drug was still clawing viciously, even after the hell I'd been through. It was a small chant in the back of my head begging me to get dressed and find the first dealer I came across and take myself out of this pain. Fortunately, the other part of my head, that was now lucid and in control, tried to shut it down. I wasn't naive enough to think this would go away anytime soon. I had only fought half the battle. It was the hardest part, in the fact that it was a physical pain, but I still had a mountain of mentality to conquer.

"Bella," Rose said, sticking her head out of the bathroom. "Come get in the tub and relax for a bit. I'll change the sheets and then we can talk."

"Oh goodie."

Rosalie rolled her eyes at me, but it was playful, and I appreciated it. She helped me into the bathroom, and didn't even blink as she helped me strip out of the clothes that would need to be incinerated.

The hot water was bliss as I submerged myself in it. The heat palliated my aching muscles and the rising steam chased away the last of the fog in my mind. I was a long way from feeling like myself, but I was at least beginning to feel human. It was the least I could hope for, especially as I was more exhausted than I could imagine being. I lay back against the cool porcelain and let my head hang over the edge with my eyes closed as I listened to Rosalie moving around the room.

"What is it with you and falling asleep in tubs?" She asked, jolting me awake. I hadn't even realized I was heading in that direction when I'd closed my eyes.

"It's one of those human things you're missing out on." I smiled smugly, sinking a little lower in the cooling water. It was still hot, but it was nowhere near close to the smoldering heat it had been when I'd submerged myself.

She didn't take offense, she just laughed lightly and lowered the lid of the toilet before perching on it with a peculiar look on her face. I could only imagine how it felt sitting on something that she hadn't needed to use for almost seventy years.

"You look like you're confused." I hummed in satisfaction as she leaned forward and flipped on the hot water again. She dug her hand in the water and released some water while she topped it off. She seemed to be doing better at this than she'd imagined, and as soon as I was able to go somewhere other than the four walls, I was going to get her something that would should just how much I appreciated her help.

"No," she said, splashing water in my direction. "I'm just normally the one in the tub and Emmett's sat on the toilet talking to me."

"Just the image I needed."

"Oh don't put on that prude act now. You were so much fun when you were a stripper."

I gave her a spectacular view of my middle finger and smiled as I closed my eyes again. I knew she was building up to something; I'd been counting on it.

It was a while, but I heard her sigh and shuffle on her makeshift seat. I opened one eye and directed it at her, but she was looking down at her hands in her lap.

"Spit it out, Rose."

"I was building up to it."

"And I was falling asleep again waiting. I know you had to have heard something. I sleep talk on an ordinary night. I can only imagine the shit I was spitting out while I was in la la land."

"Then how about you do the talking?"

This time I sighed and shifted in the water, sending hot currents of water over my exposed skin. I turned the faucet off with my toes as I tried to arrange my thoughts in my head. This was probably the first time that I would explain the whole thing since I'd lived it.

"Just start from when we left."

I growled a little, but dug deep within myself. The faster I dealt with this, the easier it would be to combat the memories that would assault when the cravings hit. Maybe saying it out loud would help me deal with some of the ghosts that haunted me. If I were lucky it would also absorb the anger that I clung to like a life raft.

"When you left, I was a mess." I started. "For months I was an introvert. I lost what little friends I'd made; I ignored my father and only spoke when I needed to. I did what was expected of me, and nothing more. I couldn't see the point of living a life that didn't seem to matter without the man I loved. He was the other half of me. My life inexplicably made sense while he was in it, and when he walked away, I couldn't find a reason to try anymore.

"I was like that for months, and finally dad started to threaten to send me to stay with mom. I knew I had to do something. I had to make an effort. So I went out with Jessica. Did Edward ever tell you about those guys in Port Angeles?"

"He mentioned it." She replied, avoiding eye contact. I wasn't sure what had triggered that reaction in her, but I couldn't stop now I'd started. I needed to get it all out there.

"I thought I saw them that night, and when I stepped toward them, I could have sworn I heard Edward warning me not to be stupid. After months of being almost completely cut off from feeling anything, I took the notion and ran with it. I ended up finding a couple of motor bikes and refurbishing them with a friend."

"Only you would find a reminder in something that dangerous."

"Maybe," I said, shaking my head, remembering the way it had given me hope. "But it was the only connection I had to him. That's how I met Jacob though."

"You met someone else?"

I nodded, cursing the blush that rose to my cheeks. I had no reason to be embarrassed or sorry for falling for someone else, and had it been anyone else in the family, I think I could have played off my emotions as anger at asking. Somehow it being Rose made me feel contrite.

"Believe me, it took a long time and a lot of convincing on his part. He was patient and understanding, and when he changed for the first time, he came to me. Not that he could . . . you know tell me, but he figured out a way to get it across."

"Changed?" Rose asked, leaning forward.

"I'm sure you're more than aware of the legends. They did sign a treaty with your family."

"The wolves?"

I nodded, surprised by her astonishment. I'd always just assumed the Cullens knew. Edward hadn't made any secret of his distaste of Jacob or his father when he sought me out at the prom. That had made some kind of sense to me after Jacob had described their mortal enemy status. I think that was why he was so confident that I would deal with his secret well.

"They started changing again? And you dated one of them?"

"Yeah. It wasn't like I just woke up one day and thought _'you know what? I'm over Edward_.' Jacob and I were friends for a long while and then he started getting sick. I worried about him, because the only time I actually felt like myself was while I was with him. He was my best friend.

"He avoided me forever, and I went to seek out one of the bullies he'd been afraid of, and instead I found the bully's fiancée, Emily. She actually thought I deserved to know the truth, Imprint or not. She knew how Jacob felt about me. Sam, the alpha, was pissed, but he couldn't stay mad at Emily for long."

"She was his imprint?"

I turned my head lazily and looked at her as she leaned forward to put her elbows on her knees and cradle her cheeks with her hands. I raised an eyebrow. The heat of the water was making me feel lethargic.

"You know about the whole imprinting thing?" I asked, actually able to inject some surprise into my voice.

"Yeah, we know some of their legends."

"The third wife?"

She nodded. "We have a similar principal, but we have a little more choice in who our mates are. Once we find them though, we're with them for life."

Didn't that just make me feel fabulous? Nature had scorned me twice, making fate skip me with both men I had fallen in love with. I should have known that I would be passed by. No one got as unlucky as me. Whether I liked it or not, Edward had done me a favor. He had realized I wasn't the right person and didn't let it drag on. Jacob however had _sworn_ that it would never happen for him because I was the one he wanted. At least that explained my misfortune.

"Go on."

I took another loaded breath. I hated reliving this part, and I hated the small omission I would have to make. There was no way I was going to tell her that Edward had never left my mind for a single second, or that Jacob had accepted that as part of me. Nor would I tell her just how much I'd been broken. If I wasn't his mate, I wasn't going to make it more uncomfortable waffling on about how I managed to love Jacob _despite_ how Edward was always there with him.

"Well, I guess knowing their secret, it made it easier to hang out with them. Once they told me about the vampire they'd been chasing for months, it made it even easier to fit in with them. The red hair gave her away, and they made dad and me stay on the res for a while. They actually got someone to lie and say there was a gas leak at the house." Rosalie's face tightened up and I could actually see anger flash in her eyes. "We stayed there for almost a month, but she'd disappeared. She actually stayed away for a long time."

"Which was long enough for you and Jacob to get closer?" she said, avoiding the topic of Victoria. I knew it wasn't going to stay that way for long. Her name felt like acid coming from my mouth, but I was trying not to think about that just yet.

"It just seemed inevitable. We were best friends and we had chemistry, so we took the next step and started dating. After I graduated, I went to Peninsula College up in Port Angeles, I was going to go to the Forks Extension, but the one in Port Angeles was bigger. Jacob and I dated the whole time. I stayed there during the week and came home on the weekends, and he would come up some evenings. We had a good relationship, we made each other laugh, and I loved him. We were actually going to move in together after graduation, but when I came home for summer during my second year, I knew it was impossible. I hadn't seen him in weeks. He was working his ass off and I was doing finals. We'd talked on the phone every night, but when I saw him I ran at him and his hug was . . ."

"Lacking?" Rosalie asked. Her voice filled with disgust. I wasn't sure if this was her new protective side or her distaste at the fact I was able to move on. I decided not to ask.

"You could say that. I knew him well, and I knew the man I loved would never have reacted like that after not seeing each other in weeks. He sat me down on dad's porch and explained that he'd imprinted. He'd never intended it to happen of course, she'd showed up in her car and the moment he looked at her he knew.

"It was the second worst day of my life by that point. Knowing that the person I had trusted with my heart had just cast it aside. I avoided him like the plague after that. I got a small apartment in Port Angeles, and barely went home. Dad came to visit me rather than the other way around, but that was only because he tried to get Jacob and I in the same room the Thanksgiving after we broke up."

Rosalie's gold eyes looked at me sadly. I'd thought I would have bored her by now, but she was still completely wrapped up in my story. Reacting just as I would have if I'd been listening to my pathetic life story. I could see she was sorry about what happened, but she had more tact than to say how sorry she was. I knew it was the appropriate response, but hearing it as much as I had, left the word meaningless. Sorry was a five-letter word that you dropped when you felt guilty. If you were really apologetic, you proved it.

"Something tells me that didn't go over well."

"Like a lead balloon is an understatement. Dad never knew what Jacob was, no matter how many times Jake threatened to tell him. It wasn't as though I could explain that Jake had imprinted. So when he forced us to face off, I threw Jacob out of the house and said to my dad, and I quote. 'Don't invite that cheating bastard into our home again.'"

"Did he go after him with a gun?"

I let myself smile as the memory tickled at the edges of my mind. "He would have. I couldn't let him do it. He'd freak when Jake healed right before his eyes. But he never did try and get us in the same room again, and I believe Jacob found himself with a ticket when he was barely five over the speed limit."

Rosalie smiled gently, and I realized she knew what was coming. I finally realized what I'd said in that groggy drug withdrawal. It was the very reason she gave me that gentle understanding smile when I spoke about dad.

"I avoided Jacob at all costs after that. It made it easier to deal with having my heart handed back to me again. He didn't let it go easily, he called relentlessly and dad said he called him too. The calls finally started to die down after Christmas and I decided that I was safe. So I went home to visit dad for Spring break.

"He was so happy to see me. God, he took me to the station, and boasted about how well I was doing in College, he took me to the diner, where he told me I'd lost too much weight and forced one of their biggest burgers down me." I laughed at the memory, but it spiked the pain in my chest, making it feel like I'd been stabbed.

"I was gone most of the day, I had a lead on something so I went to check it out. To make it up to him, I was going to cook us steak for dinner. I'd bought him one of those grills he'd always wanted. I bumped into Jacob and we got into a huge fight and he insisted on driving me home so we could talk, because he thought I was being unfair because I knew what I was getting into–"

"Wait. Hold up a minute," Rose said, sitting up straight, one of her perfectly arched eyebrows disappearing into her hairline. "Your saying that the asshole convinced you to date him because he swore he would never imprint, then blamed you for being irrational at being mad at him because you _knew what you were getting into_?"

"Thank you." I sang, sweeping my arm at her. "That's exactly what I said, but he said he couldn't help it, any more than I could help having brown eyes."

"What did you do?"

"I was about to kick him in the nuts, but we were close to dad's house and he froze all of a sudden and did his impression of a Neanderthal and pushed me behind him. I knew something was wrong and the gusto for the fight left me immediately. I pushed him out of the way and ran to the house, fighting him off every step of the way. I found out later it was because he smelled the blood . . ." I could feel the tears building in my throat so I faded out and stopped. I couldn't say the words, and I couldn't describe the scene. They were two things I would never be able to form with my tongue and mouth.

"Victoria?"

I nodded, remembering the moment I arrived at the house and saw the smirk on her lips as she looked down at me with perfect satisfaction as the blood left my face and my body. She knew exactly what she was doing when she'd killed him. I'd almost reached her when Jacob had literally pushed me to the ground and charged headfirst at her, his wolf appearing in a blink as he jumped the stoop in one fell swoop. I hadn't even acknowledged the fight. I could have been bitten, clawed, dismembered, but all I'd been trained on was my father, I sank to my knees beside him, my eyes taking in the blood covered walls and the pool he was laying in. She hadn't just settled at killing him. She'd tortured him and made sure I'd known it. I could see the pain that echoed in his vacant eyes, and the shout of it twisted on his blue lips. There was no saving him. She'd drained him dry one she'd broken his bones.

I shook my head to clear the image. It hurt like an open wound in the gut.

"I must have passed out at some point, because I don't remember much after accusing Jacob of not killing her because he didn't love me anymore."

"She got away?"

I nodded. "Don't worry though, she's haunted almost every one of my dreams since. I know she's never far away." I laughed bitterly, hearing the maniacal tone in my voice.

"Bella–"

"It's not your fault. So don't apologize."

"It may not be, but I will enjoy ripping that bitch limb from limb. Why didn't you tell us sooner?"

"Because for a while, it was nice being just me. None of you looked at me with pity, or like I was made of china," I said, feeling the tenuous hold on my emotions break down. "Which is why I want you to keep this to yourself. I owed you an explanation because I asked you to do this for me, but I can't have everyone treat me like I'm broken."

Rosalie sighed. I could see she didn't like the idea of not telling anyone. I was already having trouble breathing with the weight on my chest, but I had to get my point across. My eyes were already welling with the tears, when I finally let the emotion overcome me.

"It's not forever. Just until I get my strength back. You know what they're like, they'll try to cheer me up and appease me, and Edward will do that wounded puppy thing. I at least want the strength to yell at him when he does that." I sniffled.

"If I promise to not tell, can I at least tell Emmett? He will crank it out of me anyway."

"As long as you tell him not to baby me." I sobbed, unable to stop the damn now that it had opened. I could feel the heat of the tears rolling down my cheeks, even though the bath water was still hot. The moment she nodded, I came unglued, my forehead dropping to the edge of the tub as my heart scattered around the empty cavity. No one would ever understand what Victoria had taken from me, and I would do anything to have her pay for taking it away from me. If I was strong enough to do it with my own hands I would do it, but instead, I had to depend on someone with the same strength as the woman herself.

It was probably a little too much to have been attempting being so newly sober, especially considering the raging bout of cravings that washed over me. It was almost enough to send me sliding under the water and testing how long I could hold my breath and staying another five minutes past that. It was like a full body itch that no amount of scratching could remedy.

Seeing my discomfort, Rosalie pulled a towel from the rack and held it open for me. There was no sympathy in her eyes when she looked at me, and I was grateful for that. What rang behind the honey tone of her iris' was revenge, and I knew I had made a new friend. One that understood me better than anyone else had in a long time.

"I'll go and get you the food Esme ordered for you, and see if Carlisle has anything to help you sleep. I think you deserve a dreamless sleep tonight."

I nodded, and let her lead me to the bedroom where she helped me into clean sleepwear and practically tucked me in bed. I gripped her hand as she moved to step away from the bed. My tears were still running freely, but she chose not to notice. She simply squeezed my hand in encouragement.

"Thank you. For everything."

"I have done anything," she said quietly, standing up straight. Then I saw the glint in her eyes. "Yet."

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**Authors Note: ** I suck, I realize that, but I'm going to double post to make up for it! This month has been so busy for me and I know that's not an excuse, but there it is. I will get balance back and respond to the reviews at some point, but for now I'm not making promises. There is just so much going on at the moment. I will however promise that I will get the chapters out on time from now on!

Thanks to all of you for reading, adding to favorites and alerts and for the wonderful reviews. The fact that you guys take time out of your day to let me know how I'm doing is not lost on me. This is why I prefer to respond to them. Time willing, I will get that opportunity again soon.

I love you all! Thank you for being amazing!

PinkIndeed... As always, thanks for being a sounding board. I love you!

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie... I love you both to the ends of the earth and beyond!

**MWAH!**


	15. Chapter 15: Slow Beginnings

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 15: Slow Beginnings**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

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_And now I sleep  
__Sleep the hours and that I can't weep  
__When all I knew was steeped in blackened holes  
__I was lost_

_**Below My Feet by Mumford and Sons**_

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I couldn't lie. Every day was a huge struggle that just seemed to get worse rather than better. There was no more physical pain, unless you counted stomach cramps after eating, and the immediate evacuation orders from my bowels. It was more frustrating than anything else. It was a need, clawing at my gut and chipping away at me no matter what I was doing. It was always in the back of my mind waiting to pounce. I tried to read a book, but instead of seeing actual words, they seemed to rearrange so I felt I was reading the words '_Heroin fix now!_' over and over again. At this rate I was going to make Jack Nicholson in _The Shining_ look like a pillar of the community. At least I could rest easy knowing my roommates were practically impervious to the sharp side of an axe. It gave me some confidence I could be stopped.

Rose was amazing. I hadn't known what an ally she could be when you really needed her. For me, it was strange to think back on those times in Forks where all she had to offer was snide comments and bored looks as she regarded me. Now, she made me laugh with her wit and sarcasm. She just loved to talk about the rest of her family and spill the dirt on things, I'm sure, they would have preferred me not to know about. She didn't push too hard, but she didn't stand for my bullshit either. When I got snappy and moody, she'd simply pat me on the head with condescension and tell me to take a nap.

The mood swings sucked. I'd snapped at both Carlisle and Esme, who had done nothing but try to help me. Rosalie may have known how to shut me down, but Carlisle and Esme simply took it and quietly left the room, leaving me alone with my guilt. The sad thing was, I knew what I was doing and saying was wrong, I knew I was hurting people, but I couldn't seem to stop it. My mouth ran away leaving my brain wondering what the hell had just happened. I was staring to think that my apologies would only go so far before they became meaningless.

Of course, Carlisle had told me it was all part of the withdrawal process and was to be expected, but it didn't make it any easier to deal with. I was a natural bitch these days, but it was quickly transforming into raging bitch on occasion.

Rosalie, by some grace of God, had managed to keep most of the family from the house and had finagled that same freedom to the end of the week. I was almost pissed that I'd wasted three days in a vegetative state, writhing in pain and spilling my deepest secrets. Emmett had been the only one to drop in on us over the course of the week. He always had the ability to make me smile despite myself. Like Rose, he took my bitchiness in his stride and just turned it around on me. The first time he'd showed up at the house, he'd almost broken ribs with the bear hug he'd given me. Just like that, he seemed to join the other three under my umbrella of forgiveness.

The time in the house without the constant hounding of Edward, or Alice, gave me some time to get a grip on my emotions and eventually my moods. It wasn't perfect. There were times when I felt like I had turrets syndrome because I would lash out over nothing. A perfect example was the night Esme cooked me dinner. She'd been trying to fatten me up, so she made me a lumberjack special. Everything was fried and wonderful, but I'd burst into tears and called her a fucking idiot because my yolks were solid. It was irrational, and she seemed unfazed by it, but I felt horrible. The moment the words had left my lips I was crying harder and apologizing to her for being so ridiculous. To which she'd tell me the same thing Carlisle did, that it was all part of the withdrawal process. Which would have been fine if I didn't feel like I was losing my mind.

The cravings never really went away, even as my ability to concentrate slowly filtered back into my mind. I took one hour at a time, but it always managed to rear its ugly head. Brush my teeth, brush my hair, tie my shoes, get a fix, blow my nose. Thankfully, knowing I would freeze to death long before I found a dealer made me stick my tongue out at my inner craving, wishing it good luck as I moved on.

I was determined to beat it. I'd got through the painful part, and now I had some work to do, and some will power to exercise. Seemed easy in theory.

I stretched out in bed and groaned as my head cleared the cobwebs of slumber from the corners and reminded me that my week was up. The blissful peace with the quiet and doting family members was coming to an end. I was interested in talking more with Tanya and the others, especially considering that I had unintentionally kicked them out of their own house for a week. Tanya had made quite an impression on me the first night, even though I hadn't exactly been all there when we'd spoken. In all honesty, there was only two people I wasn't exactly excited about seeing face to face, and that was Edward, and Alice.

Alice, though I had missed her, I knew she would try to persuade me to talk to Edward. The one person I really didn't want to think about, let alone talk to. Getting sober really hadn't changed my opinion of that. I hated to admit it, but I couldn't think of anything he could say that would change how I felt about what had happened between us. He'd made it perfectly clear that he was over whatever it was we'd had together when he'd left all those years ago. I didn't need an apology from him, it would undermine everything I'd felt and gone through after he'd left. It would also open too many wounds I wasn't quite ready to revisit.

It had been cathartic for me to talk to Rosalie. I'd felt lighter and a little less coiled and ready to snap. Getting some it off my chest had stopped some of the nightmares from popping up because it was no longer repressed inside of me. I just couldn't see that happening because I talked to Edward. He didn't love me. I was fine with that now, well, as fine as I could be. I had a hard enough time lying to myself that there wasn't a small part of me that still wanted what we'd had. Unfortunately, too much time had passed and too much shit had happened to ever go back there again. He'd made up his mind, and even letting myself think about that would only hurt me in the long run. He felt guilty about where I'd ended up, that was the only reason he wanted to apologize.

"Bella? Did you want breakfast in bed, sweetheart?" Esme called through the door.

"No thanks, Esme. I'm gonna jump in the shower. I'll be right down."

"I'll wait five minutes before I start then."

"Thank you." I called back, my legs kicking off the thick down comforter. The aches in my body had finally started to die down, and I was able to move around like a normal person. For a while I'd been an invalid, stuck in the room I was occupying, simply because I didn't have the strength to go any further.

I popped as I stretched and groaned at the feeling as it radiated through my body. I was sleeping so heavily I always woke up stiff, but I was well rested and somewhat clear headed. Every morning seemed to give me more clarity, and I was grateful for that. Especially since I would probably have to face Edward at some point. It did nothing to elevate my mood, but I seemed to be happier knowing there would be a target for my, currently, misguided bad moods.

I padded into the bathroom in my bare feet and stripped in my bathroom as the water heated up. I'd come to love a steam filled room. It cleared my head and alleviated the craving for a while. Being that it was a constant companion, I couldn't help but be thankful for the brief reprieve. The hot water rained down over me from the ceiling of the room like a regenerating, warm summer rainfall. It moved down my body in rivulets and danced around the skin that was pebbled from the cool air that the water hadn't managed to heat. I loved standing there with nothing to think about but the mechanics of my body and my own need for repetition. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash while the conditioner sat, shave under arms and legs if needed, before rinsing and becoming hesitant to get out.

With the room in a cocoon of steam, I felt safe. It was, in my imagination, akin to being in a womb. The humid air full of steam that covered everything in a light film of condensation, while the heat licked at your body and made it easier to stand around in a towel. Then there was the fogginess, dancing around with what little breeze had managed to penetrate the room under the door making it dance in the dulled light. It felt safe and protective for the time I was inside of it.

I went through the rest of my mundane tasks. Teeth, moisturizer, floss, brushing hair and anything else that seemed necessary. I left my hair damp as I pulled off the towel and hung it behind the door.

I was so lost in my morning ritual, that I had never considered that the new additions wouldn't realize how I operated. So when I opened the door to see Edward sat on the bed waiting for me, I had to fight my new natural impulse to cover myself and hide. I wasn't sure why I was all of a sudden returning to my inhibited thinking, but I fought it, and crossed the room to the dresser while his eyes went wide and turned to face the mirror, where he suddenly realized he could still see me and looked down into his lap.

It was funny, I couldn't remember him being that much of a prude, but I'd been much the same way. The fact that Alice had helped me bathe when I'd broken my leg had more than proven that. I had blushed through the experience every time without fail. It was why I hadn't given into the inclination to hide my body. I wasn't going back to being that girl. I had a fabulous body and had nothing to be ashamed of.

It didn't mean I would take it easy on Edward though.

"Did it ever occur to you that the door was closed for a reason?" I snapped, pulling on underwear a little faster than I would have if I'd been high. I shimmied on my jeans and did them up, happier now I had a bra and bottoms on.

"I'm sorry. I was just hoping to catch you before anyone else. I wanted to make sure you were all right."

"You think sobriety has changed the fact that I don't want to talk to you?"

"I had hoped–"

"Well you were wrong. I have no desire to talk about anything. The message was clear enough when you left. I don't think you need to expound upon that. I didn't kill off that many brain cells with my substance abuse."

I pulled on a heavy sweater and pulled my hair out of the neckline as I slipped into my comfy slippers that I was glad someone had packed in Vegas for me. I crossed the room without so much as looking at him, but by the time I got to the door, he was blocking it, his back pressed against the wood as he held his hands up in surrender.

"I thought I was doing the right thing. I though I was making your life easier. Every moment you spent with my family and I was a step closer to your demise. I–"

"Am full of shit?" I asked, my hands on my hips. "Edward, you made your decision, you can't renege on that because you feel guilty. I'm a big girl. I can handle rejection. Believe me you weren't the last."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely nothing."

"Bella–" He reached for me as he said my name, but I stumbled back and out of his reach. I had a feeling if I could have shot lasers from my eyes he would have resembled a clot of Swiss cheese.

"Move, Edward. Esme was kind enough to make me breakfast. It would be rude to let it go cold."

"I have something to say, and you're going to liste–" He was cut off by pounding on the door that physically made him bounce against the paneling.

"Edward, don't make me come in there." Emmett growled.

"Not now, Emmett," Edward said, in a tone that was clearly dismissive. Something Emmett didn't take too kindly to considering the growl that rumbled from the other side of the door.

"Now is a perfect time. She said she doesn't want to talk. How about you respect that and stop being a controlling pain in the ass?"

"What the hell is your problem?"

"You at the moment. I would prefer not to break Tanya's door, but you're not leaving me much choice."

"You can break it." Tanya called from God knew where. I was starting to like her more and more. If it got me out of this room _I_ would pay to have it replaced. Even if it did look damn expensive. I was fed up of the asshole taking liberties and deciding when I should listen to what he had to say. I was more than aware how stubborn I could be, but considering he'd been the one to walk away, I figured it was my right to decide whether I wanted to listen to him or not.

Edward stepped away from the door and opened it. He stood toe to toe with Emmett and I could only imagine he was trying to read his brother's mind. I could see how tense his shoulders were as he stood there. Emmett frowned, looking as though he was concentrating on something... Hard.

"What are you hiding, Emmett."

Emmett pushed past him and into the room and stood in front of me with his arms crossed. He was like a wall of granite muscle between Edward and I, and I felt myself relax a little at having him there. I wasn't in any way afraid of Edward. I was still confident he was incapable of physically hurting me, but I was more afraid of the emotional ramifications of letting him close.

"You can't manipulate me, Edward. Even with your little ability. Have some respect for God's sake. Just because you can read minds it doesn't give you the right to dig in when you feel like it." Emmett spat at him. I could see the confusion on Edward's eyes as he looked at the hulking figure that was separating us.

"It's hard to misinterpret you locking me out when you're humming _November Rain_. I don't know what you're hiding, or whom you're trying to protect, but I will find out, Emmett. You can count on that."

Edward gave me one last look and turned on his heel, stomping out of the room with a sigh of frustration. I knew what Emmett was hiding, and I couldn't have been more thankful for his efforts. Rose had already alerted me to the fact that she would be telling him. I hadn't objected.

"Sorry about that, Bella. I didn't notice him slip away."

"Not your fault. I guess I'm going to have to keep my towel on before entering my room in the future."

Emmett laughed and fell into step with me as I headed out of the room. I could feel how much fun he was going to have with that, rolling off him in waves.

"I would have paid to see the look on his face."

"I'll keep a camera with me for future run ins." I snorted, bumping my shoulder into his elbow. Of course it hurt like a bitch, but I didn't flinch. It still made Emmett chortle though.

I hoped to avoid Edward in the future, but living in the same house as him was going to make that difficult. For now, I would go about things as I had been and hope for the best. If it got too bad I would figure something else out. If he cornered me again, I was going to test my theory that a foot in the nuts would hurt him just as much as it hurt a human. His strength and speed were an inconvenience he liked to use against me to get his own way and I was fed up of it.

When we finally entered the kitchen, it seemed as though Edward wasn't the only one who'd made it back. The others were milling around talking pleasantly about the hunting trip. Tanya was talking animatedly about a side trip she'd made to Fairbanks that she trailed off from when she caught sight of me.

"Well damn, you clean up good devushka," she said, approaching me. She picked up my hands and stepped back so she could look at me properly. "I would never have guessed."

"Um, thanks, I think?"

She laughed and pulled me into a loose hug. "Its a compliment. You just looked a little worse for wear when you arrived. You just have to come out with Kate and I, we need a third since Irina has gone and fallen in love on us."

I looked over to where the sister in question was snuggled into Laurent. Somehow I'd managed to suppress the fact that he was a part of this household now. I tried not to react to him, but I was too late, whether it was a grimace or a simple passing look in my eyes, he'd managed to pick it up.

"I will not hurt you."

No matter how many times he would say it, I doubted I would ever believe it. There were too many memories there, and of course I knew his association with Victoria. I bit back my dubiousness and nodded as I was hustled to the table and sat down. A huge plate of waffles, with a side of sausages and bacon, was set down in front of me as each of the vampires seemed to watch me expectantly. It was entirely too much food, but Esme's thought on it was I should eat until I couldn't possible fit another morsel in my mouth.

"Eat, we'll talk while you do," Tanya said happily, turning to face Carlisle. "Were you and Esme able to do any hunting while we were gone?"

"A little, but Esme was more interested in the small antiques store in Trapper Creek."

"They have a fantastic little bar in there," Tanya said wistfully, her fingers running over the grain of the table aimlessly. I had an idea that she was trouble when she was set loose on the population. One of Rosalie's favorite past times was talking about Tanya's conquests. She seemed to find her hunger for men amusing. From the stories I'd heard so far, I just saw trouble with a capital T. However, I didn't doubt for a second that it wouldn't be fun to go out with her as she'd mentioned.

I was well aware that my life would be dull for a while. I would have to stay away from any kind of alcohol or drugs, including prescription, which was actually fine with me. The clarity of my own mind was a nice change from the foggy haze that I'd been living in for a while now. It didn't mean I had to stay locked up in the house, no matter how big it was.

I ate and listened to the conversation and familiar family banter between the two groups. I barely managed to get halfway through with my plate before I felt as though I was gorging myself. When I pushed out my chair to take the leftovers to the trash I was practically overcome by several vampires jumping to do it for me. I swatted them away and ambled to the trash feeling slightly bemused by all of the attention.

"I'm overcoming an addiction not amputation, people. I do appreciate the help though."

"Oh they're just bored," Tanya said easily, leaning back in her chair. "All of this snow, they've got nothing to occupy their time. Believe me, eternity can become rather tedious when you have nothing to do. Poor Carlisle doesn't have a job to distract him, no school or jobs for the kids, and Esme, well I'm afraid it would take something short of a miracle for her to use her green thumb in our yard,"

"Is that a challenge?" Esme asked lightly, her eyes watching me as I moved around. I knew she was concerned, so I gave her a wink to let her know I was just fine.

"No, sweetheart. Just nature. I have no doubt in your talent."

"What there's no video games or board games to play?" I asked, looking over my shoulder and stumbling into the kitchen.

"No game consoles," Emmett said, pouting. I could see that really was a devastation to him. Rosalie squeezed his shoulder gently and shook her head when he looked away from her. She obviously found his predicament amusing.

"And they won't play board games with me, or Edward." Alice piped up.

"You do have an unfair advantage." I quipped, rinsing off my plate and putting it into the empty dishwasher. I tried to keep the judgment out of my voice. She'd done nothing to deserve being snapped at or made to feel small. I was hoping that my decision to cut her off if she talked about Edward would be received loud and clear.

"True," she said sadly, and I wasn't sure if that was in response to my decision or my comment about the games. I didn't care about hurting feeling when it was well deserved, but I couldn't help feeling as though I was hostile based solely on what I thought she would do, rather than giving her a chance to prove she had some self-control.

"But if we play teams, you're on mine," I said, throwing her a bone. I was rewarded with a smile that lit up her features. Beside her, Jasper offered me a nod and a smile of his own, he was thanking me for extending that olive branch. It wasn't much, but it was a start. I was going to have to stay here with them for a while; I had to be social with most of them.

I hadn't really planned on being with them long, but I also wasn't going to get myself in a predicament where I was left alone with this craving that gnawed at me. If I was going to do this, I was going to do it all the way, cutting out risks and temptations before I tried to go it alone. Relapses were a common thing for heroin addicts. It was the nature of the beast. That euphoria that came with the rush of the drug was the biggest pull of all. Even the memory of it sent happy thoughts through my body that soon turned to pure, unadulterated need.

I wasn't ready to be alone. I knew that as well as everyone else in the room did. I just needed to get past my own personal demons and make this work until that raw rush that pounded through me faded a little. I had realized it would always be with me. Hell, when Helen, the club's accountant, had quit smoking she'd been twenty-five. I knew her when she was fifty and she still craved them. It was just something I was going to have to learn to live with. At the risk of sounding negative, all I could think was, _what's one more thing to live with?_ It wasn't like I could change the past, and I really didn't have much of a choice in the matter.

Of course, I was also the only one to blame. I was the one that had agreed to let Luke shoot me up. I was the one that had decided to chase the dragon. I was the only one that could deal with this constant nagging inside of me. The events that had led up to that were out of my control, but they were also my responsibility. I had been the one that had introduced vampires into my life; I was the one that had left my father vulnerable. As much as I had loved to blame Jacob for the oversight because he was too busy fucking his imprint, I had known it was never his fault. All of that was on my shoulders. Inadvertently or not, I had caused my father's murder, and I wouldn't see anyone else die because of their association to me.

It was comforting knowing that the Cullens were more than capable of looking after themselves, especially when it came to another vampire. I'd seen the fire in Rosalie's eyes when I'd mentioned Victoria's name. I'd known that she would help me get rid of her so I could live my life without looking over my shoulder. I still hadn't let her tell anyone other than Emmett. No matter how much I repeated that it was because I didn't want the pity or apologies, I knew that wasn't the real reason.

As the others tried to decide how to stave off the boredom, I settled into the corner of the counters to watch them. I tried to shake off the thoughts that were beginning to move to the heavy load in my gut and make it churn uncomfortably. Memories and nausea had seemed to correlate with them these days.

Seeing my obvious discomfort, Rosalie sidled over next to me and leaned against the counter.

"You alright with all of this?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks."

"Is that why you look green?" She asked under her breath. I actually had to strain to hear her.

"That's just the crap in my head." I clarified. There was no point in hiding the truth or painting it with pretty pictures. She knew. She'd been dealing with the shit for a week.

"Right. That crap with Edward probably didn't help either, did it?"

I shook my head and sighed as quietly as I could. Sure, him being in my room and demanding we talk had pissed me off and started the day off wrong, but he was the tip of my particularly large and sharp iceberg. Right now, dealing with him was going to be inconvenient, but it was better than some of the other shit I would eventually have to face.

"It won't happen again. I can promise you that."

I nodded and smiled up at her. I appreciated her taking me under her wing, even if where Edward was concerned my tongue had a sharp edge that cut. I needed to be distracted, enough to tone down the nagging craving that had started somewhere between finishing eating and standing there. I had been worried about all of these people around me earlier, but I found that with Edward absent it was a lot easier to deal with. There was a part of me that felt guilty about that, this was his family and he was nowhere to be seen. Whether he was just working out his anger, or giving me space, I wasn't sure.

I was just thankful for the respite, no matter how brief it turned out to be.

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**Authors Note: **So Edward still wants to talk and Bella is still adamant that it's not going to happen. I know some of you will be disappointed that this secret of Bella's still hasn't been revealed to anyone else, but it will happen. I can promise you that! Right now, Bella needs to focus on getting better and that's exactly why Rose agreed not to say anything, even if she doesn't necessarily agree.

Thanks to all of you for reading, adding to alerts and favorites and the reviews. I adore you all for taking the time to let me know what you think and I will try and be better. I know I have been very inconsistent as of late and believe me I hate it. I am a little anal and this is driving me nuts! I love all of you for your words, and for your encouragement.

Thanks, as always, to Pinkindeed, who started all this mess with me in a discussion we were having with whatifs!

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie. You both know how much I love you and anything I add to that on here would just be redundant!

**MWAH! **


	16. Chapter 16: Hell Hath No Fury

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 16: Hell Hath No Fury...**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

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_Hell bent looking for a god send  
__Kicking down the door waiting for a sign  
__Right side turning on the bright side  
__That might not be what you find_

_**Nerve Damage by Lifehouse**_

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Weeks passed by slowly when I was waiting for time to pass. It wasn't the because of the company either. I had fun with everyone, and as I'd deducted, Tanya was fun to be around. She was smarter than hell and had a fantastic sense of humor. She'd been trying to get me out of the house for weeks, but my jailers hadn't believed it was a good idea so soon; especially not to a bar where temptation was like a free for all.

So we talked instead. Tanya seemed to have a hard time believing that I had ever been a stripper, mainly because I was still trying to regain my sense of balance since I'd become sober. I had been so much more dexterous when I'd been high, and I'd tried to explain that to her, but instead, she tried installing a stripper pole in one of the spare rooms and told me to shake my money maker.

I was actually surprised I was still able to do some of the moves I'd done under the foggy haze of my chemical imbalance. I didn't take off any clothes, but it actually proved to be a good work out and helped with my upper body strength. She'd picked it up too and had a blast with her super strength.

She and I had discussed my addiction at length, and like Carlisle had mentioned before, she'd compared my craving to bloodlust. When I'd asked how she managed to fight the craving, she gave me a wry smile and said she'd replaced her need for blood with a need for sex. Something that Rosalie had confirmed while the house had been empty.

To be honest, I think the reason she and I got along so well was because she was so blatantly honest about everything. I asked a question, and she would answer it. Somehow my less inhibited side had asked how she managed to be with humans when she was a vampire. She hadn't known I'd had an ulterior motive. I'd been curious how she so regularly did what Edward had always seemed afraid to do. Her answer had simply been carefully. As long as she didn't get too lost in the moment there wasn't a problem, which only seemed to amplify that it had never been a case of can't between Edward and I, but more about not wanting to.

It didn't do much for my self-esteem, but it made me see exactly where I stood and how truthful Edward had been when he'd said I was a distraction.

Thankfully, by some form of divine intervention, I had barely seen Edward. He seemed to be avoiding me as much as I was avoiding him. I would walk into a room where he was, and he would leave. I wasn't sure if he was trying to do some reverse psychology on me, but it wasn't working if that was the case. I was more than happy to have the room without him in it. We hadn't said but a handful of words since he'd left my room that morning. It had mostly been the standard greeting or excusing ourselves for being in the others way.

The more we ignored one another, the less I felt that lingering connection between us flourish. I had been determined to ignore it, but as it faded, I couldn't help feeling as though part of myself was missing. It was so much easier to deal with when I hadn't seen him in years. I'd resented him for leaving but part of me had always been determined that I hadn't imagined the magnetism between us. Even when we'd been arguing I'd had the sense that somewhere deep inside there was something there.

Now it was like we were acquaintances because of our past, and everything else was just fodder. I wasn't sure whether I should be happy about that or not. When it came to Edward, I was completely confused. I'd pushed and pushed so hard because I was so angry with him. In the back of my head, he was the reason for my house of cards falling. Like he'd started the chain reaction that had brought me to where I was. It was irrational, which wasn't a new thing for me as of late, but I couldn't help it nagging at me. At the same time, there was a tiny part of me that longed for his arms to wrap around me so I could feel the safe, secure feeling they'd once given me.

Okay, so maybe it was working a little, and I was beginning to realize that I really needed therapy.

On top of all that, I was still struggling with the desire to shoot up. Everyone around me knew when it was bad. My irritability would escalate into epic proportions. The family would evacuate, while I would pile myself into ski gear and stomp around in the snow outside until I was in danger of frostbite. Then Rose would drag me inside and push me into a hot bath reprimanding me for having my head up my ass.

In all truthfulness, I couldn't wait for some of these mood swings to pass. There were times when I felt like a rational person stuck in a crazy person's body and held no control over it. That consciousness of my misgivings was taking its toll on me. I also believed I was starting to suffer from cabin fever, regardless of whether said cabin was huge and easy to get lost in.

"Um, Bella. You may want to look at this," Emmett said from where he was sat on the couch, the laptop he was using propped on his legs. It looked more like a netbook in his hands.

"If it's porn, I'm not interested."

"Not porn. I was cruising _Facebook_ again. I was curious if anyone else had decided to put in their opinions on your enthralling career."

I groaned and let my head fall back as I examined the beams of the ceiling above me. I was beginning to wonder what it would take to make this go away. Tanya had found it a week ago after searching my name to see if she could find pictures of me as a stripper. She seemed fascinated with the fact that I could be, what she called, an exhibitionist.

"Why would you even look?" Rose asked, throwing one of the decorative pillows at him. "And don't say you were curious. I'm you're wife, you and I both know I know you better than that."

"It's been bugging me. I hated the ass while we were in Forks, and I've been thinking of cruel and unusual punishment to get back at him. I think his life deserves a little mix up of its own. It seems only fair. "

"So to clarify," I said, getting up from my chair and falling into the couch next to him. "It's about vindication?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you say so?" I asked, grinning at him, and leaning closer to look at the screen. Again, I wished I thought these things through before I did them. What I saw made my heart clench in my chest and a whimper fall from my lips. In an instant, Rosalie was on the other side of him looking over his shoulder.

"Oh shit."

I simply nodded. There was one more entry under that of Angela's and it was from her mother.

_**Melissa Webber**__: Michael Newton you should be ashamed of yourself. How can you spread rumors about that poor child when you know what happened to her father? You know as well as well l do that her mother was frantic when she went missing after her father was murdered. Rather than spreading nasty rumors, don't you think it would have been more productive to have called her mother, or at least call someone who could contact her? Renee went to Las Vegas, but Bella was never there. I hope you're proud of yourself. _

My mom went to Vegas? To find me? My heart was pounding in my chest as I thought about her getting there when Victoria did. I'd worked so hard and made my life a living hell to keep her safe, and one stupid vindictive post could have endangered her life. I wanted to kill him, with my bare hands. All I could say was the next time I saw or heard from Ryan I was going to give him the biggest hug ever. He'd done as I'd asked. Unfortunately for the wrong woman, but it had helped.

"Bella?" Jasper's voice made me jump, and I heard the top of the laptop slap down as Emmett closed it. The three of us knew that it was only a matter of time until someone else checked. Then they would all know. I started mulling over how I could get him to take it down and all the stupid comments with it. "What's the matter? I felt your emotions from our room."

I looked behind me to Rosalie, hoping that she would have something, but she just shrugged. Thankfully, Emmett thought quickly on his feet. He was an unlikely savior, but I could have kissed him for his ingenuity. I was drawing a blank, I couldn't even think of what to say to explain the emotional spike. Telling him I'd just discovered Tom, Dick or Harry being kicked off _Survivor_ just wasn't going to cut it.

"Hurricane predicted for Florida. She'll be fine."

Jasper narrowed his eyes at Emmett, as though trying to read his emotions and find the lie that was under the story. Huffing, Emmett opened the laptop, and turned it to Jasper. There on the screen was a doppler image of a small hurricane heading for the coast of Florida.

"That was last summer, jackass. It's not hurricane season." Jasper clarified, stepping closer.

I forced myself to relax and laughed jovially. "You scared me, Emmett."

"My bad."

"Idiot." Rose quipped affectionately, mussing his hair as she made her way back to her seat and fell into it, picking up the magazine she'd been reading. She has a propensity for diffusing a situation like that. If Rose picked up a magazine she was through talking. It was that simple.

I stood up and stretched, offering Jasper a small smile. I hoped he would read my emotions as residual from the shock and fake aftermath of the hurricane that Emmett knew very well was last summer.

He still looked suspicious, but he nodded seeming temporarily appeased by the explanation and disappeared up the stairs, leaving the three of us alone yet again. Rose waited patiently until I was sure she heard their door click closed. She leaned forward, her voice low and quiet making me strain to have to hear it.

"You okay?"

"I am now." I whispered back. "But I need to get that down, before someone else can see it."

"Why? Wouldn't it be easier for them to find out like this and pretend they don't know?" Emmett asked, tipping his head in my direction with his eyebrows raised.

I thought about the Emmett logic, and it did make sense, but I felt uncomfortable having it out there for everyone to see. Especially when they only had half of the story. The last thing I needed was for them to jump to conclusions. Who knew what they would take away from it. I would just prefer to have it gone.

"No, because it's only the partial story. Do you honestly think they're not going to ask questions? Or go off half-cocked and make assumptions? We have to get that down from there, but how?"

"Without telling Jasper? Who could probably hack into Newton's account, the only option is to go to the source."

Emmett smiled at Rosalie's suggestion. I'd known he wanted to get a little payback on Mike, but the evil genius smile he was wearing, that made his dimples into craters, was a little eerie and highly indicative to what he was thinking.

"How do you feel about a trip to Forks?"

"How many words do you need?" I asked. "I've got several."

"I know it won't be easy for you," he said, turning in his seat to look at me. "I realize what it means for you to go back there. If we could get in, get what we need, and get out. Do you think you'd be up for that?"

"Would it mean pain for Newton?"

Emmett nodded slowly, his smile growing wider as he did.

I thought about the question. How would I feel going back to Forks? I wasn't exactly sure I was ready for it, but the point was I needed to get this done and soon. I had a choice to make, and it was man the hell up and get this done, or puss out and hope nobody noticed Mrs. Webber's faux pas. My dad died in Forks, he was murdered in his own home by a sadistic vampire that was out for vengeance for her mate. The thought of going back to that house was enough to make my hands shake, but the truth was I had to do it at some point. If talking to Rose had been cathartic, maybe this would be medicinal. With the scene etched into my mind, it was hard to get past that. When I'd gone back for his things I'd slipped in the back so I wouldn't have to see it.

I needed to do this to get it done, and I needed to do some therapy for myself while I was there. It was an opportunity I couldn't pass up. Whether or not it helped or hindered, at least I would have Emmett with me, and when we got back to the house the rest of the family would support me if I needed it. I'd realized that they really did care in their own ways. I could do this. I had to do this.

"Okay."

"Bella, you don't have to do this," Rose said gently, moving to sit on the other side of me. "You have to move at your own pace, and if you're not ready you know Emmett won't mind going alone."

I loved that she was giving me an option, but the truth was, I'd sold myself on it. I needed to go back there and face some of the demons so I could get past the last time I'd walked through that front door. If I was going to heal myself, I had to do this. I had to face what I'd done and what was left behind. As long as I didn't run into Jacob, everything would be fine.

"I think I need to do this."

"You don't sound so sure," Rosalie said, a small smirk on her lips.

"That's because I'm not. I just think I have to do it to get past it."

"Well, then you do what you have to do, but if you want my opinion, I say the two of you go. I will stay and do damage control, because if you tell people it's just going to raise questions."

I knew she was right. There was no way of going down there without giving the family an explanation. It seemed that Emmett thought the same thing, because he simply started hacking away at the laptop in silence.

"Go grab some things," Rosalie said quietly. "Nothing too big, if you're going to get there and be gone before anyone notices, you're going to have to catch the Emmett bus and get on the first plane out of here."

I nodded and left them working away so I could pack. With the sense of secrecy so strong, I found myself tiptoeing up the stairs like an idiot. It was only when I was halfway through the maze of corridors that led to my room that I realized how suspicious I looked, and idiotic I felt. I made the rest of my way to my room normally and stepped inside, only to find the one thing we hadn't thought of, sitting on my bed.

Alice.

Of course she would have seen the decision. I could only imagine Jasper's reaction to my emotions earlier had made her watch more closely, because I wasn't exactly a ball of decisiveness as of late. Most of my decisions included whether to watch TV or read a book. I was a ball of recklessness.

"This isn't a good idea," she said quietly. I could tell she was worried about the repercussions of telling me what to do. I had been slightly touchy about that side of this situation. I'd asked them for help, but it didn't mean I wanted them to work my strings like I was a marionette.

"Probably not, but I have to do it."

"Why?" She asked, her hands turning palm up in her lap. "I'm not going to sit here and tell you what to do, Bella. But if you're asking me to keep quiet, I at least think I deserve some kind of explanation as to why I'm lying for you."

I wasn't sure how to answer that. I mean, I knew why I was going, and why I was determined to be a part of this, but I didn't know how to explain it to her without giving her the whole damn story. Unfortunately, if there was anyone in this group that was going to take my father's death personally, it was Alice. She and my dad had become close while she was helping me through the broken leg fiasco. They got along well too. Dad appreciated her intellect, she always had something new to tell him, and he would bore her to death with our family history or stories of me as a kid. If I told her, I wasn't sure it would be conducive to getting out of here quickly.

"Do you trust me, Alice?" I asked, crossing the room to the closet and picking up a hikers backpack I'd seen in there. It wasn't mine, but I was planning on returning it.

"You know I do, Bella."

"Then I'm going to tell you as little as I can, and I promise I will explain more when I come back."

I looked over my shoulder at her as she deliberated. I could see she wasn't comfortable letting me go when she would only have the tiniest piece of information, but there was also resolution there. She knew I wasn't going to offer any more than that. I started packing a couple more things while she thought things through. Alice had never been one to be rushed. I knew I didn't owe her anything, but at the same time, she was right, she was going to be covering my ass.

"Just to appease me, is it dangerous?"

I thought about my answer. There was no way that Victoria would know I was there, so in that respect the answer was no. If I ran into Jacob there would be danger, but that would be more his danger than mine, because I would neuter him.

"Nope."

She seemed to be following my answers in her head, seeing what my decisions would bring. When she scrunched up her nose, I could tell I was going to get another hard question. Instead, I got a warning.

"Whatever you thought about last made you disappear, so avoid it. Now tell me as little as you can," she said with a sigh.

"It's about my dad."

Saucers had nothing in comparison to the size of Alice's eyes. She looked like one of those little bug-eyed creatures that clung to trees somewhere in South America. I was torn between amusement and slapping my hand over her mouth to shut her up.

"Is he in danger?"

"No." I answered robotically. I could hear the slight catch of my own voice, and I knew she had to have too. "This is where the trust comes in."

"That's _all _you're going to give me? That's like saying sit with no context. I don't know where, why, or what on? You have to give me more than that."

I finished packing and zipped the backpack shut. If I knew Rose and Emmett as well as I thought I did, they'd already have everything arranged, which meant that I needed to get a move on. As much as I wanted to reassure Alice and walk her through it, I just didn't have the time.

I sat on the bed next to her and took her hands in mine. This was my last chance to get away before she raised the alarms.

"When I walked away from my life. I left a mess behind me. I need to clear a couple of things up. It's not dangerous, there's no temptation, and I will be back by tomorrow. Please. Just trust me."

"And you will tell me what's going on, Bella." It wasn't a question, more of a command, but I let it slip.

"Yes. When I have more time I will tell you."

"Everything?"

"As much as I can."

She nodded and squeezed my hands. It was all she could give me without asking more questions. Alice was naturally inquisitive, I considered myself lucky that I hadn't had a light shone in my face while she played the Spanish Inquisition.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

Alice nodded and gave me a wry smile. "Yes. You will."

If I'd had more time I would have let her know just how creepy that was. I just didn't have the time to explain that to her as well. I knew Rose and Emmett would be waiting for me. Instead, I gave her a smile and took off, pulling the straps over my shoulders as I made my way back down to the living room, where my intuition had been correct. Emmett and Rose had, in fact, been waiting for me.

"What took you so long?"

"Alice." It needed no further emphasis. It wasn't like they didn't know about her gift.

"Should have known. Is she going to keep her mouth shut?"

I nodded.

"Good. Go and get some ski gear so you won't freeze to death." She held out a long beautiful scarf that I couldn't even think about how much she'd paid for it. "When Emmett's running, you cover every inch of your face, otherwise you'll get windburn, and God knows what else."

I grabbed the scarf and made my way to the hall closet, dropping the bag just inside the door in case anyone decided to wander out and see what I was up to. Getting on all the gear was normal for me when I went out for a walk. They didn't need to know this wasn't my normal walk.

By the time I was finished I felt ridiculous. The _staypuft marshmallow man_ had nothing on me.

"We have to make a stop in Anchorage before we get to the airport." Emmett whispered from behind me. "We have to get going now. You ready?"

I nodded, though whether he could see the motion under all the layers was beyond me. I waved at Rosalie and pulled the bag back on over my shoulders, as Emmett opened the door and let a blast of arctic air in through the door. I could feel it on my cheeks, which were the only thing uncovered. I was amazed that Alice was the only one who'd noticed anything going on. We hadn't run into any problems since we'd decided that we were going to Forks.

"I'm going to carry you. There's no way you can hold on to my back looking like that."

"Not a problem," I said, before binding the scarf around my head and nodding. The only thing that was showing were my eyes, and I would be covering those as well. I hadn't forgotten the speed they could move, and I wasn't sure I was ready to see everything blurring past me that quickly.

Emmett picked me up like I weighed nothing and grinned down at me as I pulled the scarf over my eyes and hoped for the best.

* * *

**Authors Note: **I suck... No other explanation for the lack of posting or replies and I am so sorry for that. I promise I have not lost interest and I will continue posting until the story is complete, I just can't promise RR's. As much as I want to when I read your brilliant reviews, I just seem to find myself with less and less time to spare.

All of you have been absolutely amazing and I appreciate every single review and the time you took to write it! This will be a double post week again since I was so fail! If nothing I will try with everything I have to get back to weekly posts. I love you guys and you're so amazing! I hope you know that!

PinkIndeed... You know how much I adore you and I am so sorry for the radio silence. It's been insane!

Hev99, Sabi'sSookie... You both know how much I love you!

**MWAH!**


	17. Chapter 17: Surprise!

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 17: Surprise!**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_Listen up, there's not a moment to spare  
__It's quite a drop  
__From the top so how you feeling down there?  
__It's a cold cruel, harsh reality  
__Caught stuck here with your enemies_

_**Enemies by Shinedown**_

* * *

After a quick stop in Anchorage, and it was a quick stop because Emmett refused to heed my complaints at that particular piece of his plan, we were on a plane. It was a tiny twin engined thing that bounced through the sky. I started feeling as though we were traveling in a basketball. The constant dips and whine of the engines had my stomach plummeting the thousands of feet to the ground, leaving me feeling queasy and positively green.

By the time we landed in Port Angeles, I was ready to fall to my hands and knees and kiss the solid ground beneath my feet. When Emmett had been on the internet I'd figured he'd been arranging a commercial flight, I would never make that mistake again. Knowing I would have to get back on the thing for the return trip didn't exactly give me a case of gleeful anticipation. It was a deathtrap, and no matter how much Emmett had tried to reassure me, it hadn't helped.

Thankfully, he'd booked a hotel in Port Angeles and rented a car so we wouldn't have to stay in Forks too long. I appreciated his thoughtfulness. I wasn't sure I could have stayed there, especially after Mrs. Webber's confession that my mother had flown to Vegas to find me. If somebody saw me and called her, she would simply assume I was staying at my fathers house, and by the time she got there we would be gone.

I longed to see her, to feel that safety in her arms as I had when I was a child, but the truth was I refused to be the death of her too. Until Victoria was taken care of, I needed to maintain the distance I'd established between us. I would prefer to emotionally hurt her than get her physically injured. It was the only thing I had to offer her; the only way I could keep her safe.

I sighed and looked into the mirror in front of me. One thing about being clean was thinking too much. The second was looking at myself in this abomination that Emmett had given me to wear, and realizing that if I'd stopped complaining and been a little more helpful, I could have had more influence in what I was wearing. The black-laced corset was a little too tight making my boobs spill voluptuously over the top, but it made my waist look tiny. Below that, there was a leather mini skirt, fishnets and knee-high leather boots that would have been great for work. There was only one more piece of clothing to add, and that was a beautiful leather jacket that he'd insisted on. It was only after a lot of nagging that he'd admitted Rosalie had threatened him with bodily harm if he didn't buy it for her. Apparently they'd been on the website picking it out.

When he'd called Rose after checking into the hotel, she'd told me to do smoky eyes and soft curls, before making me promise to have Emmett take a picture.

The idea, apparently, was to make Mike Newton look like a complete asshole in front of his wife. I couldn't see how that would be difficult, especially seeing as the two of them had taken over the store. They were making it a chain apparently, while his parents sat back comfortable in their retirement. At least I wouldn't have to face Mrs. Newton, my one time employer. Though it still wasn't a comforting thought that I would be in Forks looking like a dominatrix.

"We're losing daylight, Bella," Emmett said playfully from the other side of the door with a gentle tap.

"Maybe that's a good thing." I mumbled, fully aware he could hear me.

I walked to the door and pulled it open, narrowing my eyes and daring him to say something. Before I'd even fully opened the damn thing his phone camera clicked, the flash almost blinding me. The light spots had me stamping my platform-clad foot in frustration. Apparently, the mood swings still hadn't abated.

"Emmett, that's not funny."

"It's for Rosie, she said she wanted something candid."

"I'll candid my foot up your ass if you're not careful."

"That makes no sense."

I gave him a sarcastic smile and tugged on the hem of the skirt, attempting, and failing, to make it grow a couple of inches. I beelined my way to the jacked and shrugged it on, pulling it closed over my chest to hide the girls that were beginning to feel a little claustrophobic in their temporary home. I couldn't have cared less that Emmett was seeing it; he was very happily married and was like a brother to me, antagonism included.

"Remind me why I'm doing this again?"

"To make Mike drool, so he'll know that you're taking the threat seriously. Once he's deleted that entry, you're going to make sure his little wife can see you. You don't have to say a damn thing, let him be the one to explain. I guarantee she won't believe a damn word he says."

It was no less than he deserved, but I felt kind of guilty. What if she divorced his ass, less than six months after she married him? I was all for payback, but this was the rest of his life we were messing with. Though the truth was he was the one trying to get me to sleep with him at his bachelor party. It wasn't exactly a testament to his integrity. I decided I would ignore my morals and just go with it.

"And after, you don't mind if I drop into my dad's house?"

"Whatever you want, Bella. If you think you're ready for that, then we can stop by there."

"What about those bears you've been going on about for hours?"

Emmett shrugged and dug through his things looking for his jacket and the keys he'd thrown on the bed. Out of all the Cullens he was probably the only one that had perfected the facade of being human. He was constantly moving, even when he had no need to. He made me feel relaxed, which was more than I could say for some of the others who could resemble statues without realizing it.

"That can wait. We're here for you. I can go tonight while you're sleeping."

"Maybe–" I cut myself off and shook my head. I was unsure if it was the right thing to do, because I really didn't know what I wanted.

"Maybe?" he prompted.

"Well, maybe you could hunt while I'm at my dads?"

"You sure you're ready for that?" He asked, sitting on the bed, his dark gold eyes meeting mine. It always threw me through a loop when he was serious, but I appreciated his candor. For me, this was as serious as things got.

"I think so. I think I need to go in there alone and make peace with what happened. All I see when I close my eyes at night is the front of his house, and all the–"

"I get it. Lets just see how it goes."

I nodded and tugged at the hem of the skirt again. I was so nervous about going back there, the thought of getting into the car made me want to throw up, and take a nice big hit to stop the raw emotions chomping away at my nerves. The craving was nothing new, it was as systematic as ever and I pushed it to the side and tried to ignore the nagging that came with it. At least it seemed to be the distraction I needed to stop me from thinking about where we were going, or whom I may see.

"Lets get this over with, first. It's one less thing to worry about for you. It may even buy you some freedom when we get back."

I nodded in agreement. I hoped he was right. As much as I loved that house, the four walls were still closing in on me, and the worst thing in the world was finding myself alone in a room with Laurent. He'd assured me of my safety on more than one occasion, but all I had was his word. It wasn't enough to make me believe him, sadly.

The drive to Forks took half the time it did for a normal person. Like everyone else, Emmett drove like a bat out of hell with the devil himself on his tail. For part of the drive, I just closed my eyes and let him get on with it. My death grip on the "oh shit" handle seemed to amuse him. For me, amusement meant eyes were not on the road, so it was safer to just block it all out.

When he finally slowed down, I opened my eyes to see Forks sprawled out before me. A quick glance at the clock was more than enough to tell me that we'd made it there in just over a third of the time it should have taken.

"Breathe, Bella," Emmett said, glancing over at me.

It was easier said than done. There wasn't much in Forks, but the familiarity of it seemed to stifle my ability to inhale and exhale normally. The diner reminded me of dinners with my dad, and the hours spent talking to Jacob. The grocery store reminded me of the day Dad had died. I'd been on my way back from an unpleasant trip, and picked up dinner there. Again, it was also tied to Jacob because I'd bumped into him when I'd been leaving. Everything had some sentimentality attached to it, and it made a maelstrom of emotion roil inside of me. I couldn't seem to find the reason I'd thought this was a good idea.

"We can turn around. We don't have to do this. I can just walk in there and make him delete it."

"No. I can do this. I just... It's harder than I thought it would be."

"Nothing worth doing is ever easy."

"Thank you, Yoda," I said looking over at him, and relaxing a little at the show of his dimples. "You're right. Lets make that little snot pay."

Emmett pulled into Newton's and shut off the engine, leaving us in nothing but the silence of the car, and the faint chirp of birds beyond it. Taking a deep breath, I pushed open the door and stepped out onto the gravel of the lot. I was surprised at how much I'd missed the smell of Forks. It was so fresh and filled with nature. The smell of damp earth seemed to linger in the air as the wind pushed the faint pine smell into the atmosphere. It smelled like home.

Emmett met me on my side, his smile offering me confidence in what I was about to do. As much as I was beginning to enjoy being sober, I had to admit that I missed having the ability to rid myself of inhibitions. I was trying to train my own mind into getting out of the old habit of being so self-conscious. Life was so much easier when you didn't give a shit.

"You look beautiful." Emmett laughed. "But if you keep tugging on that skirt you're going to give yourself away."

"I always said I'd be shit at poker."

Emmett laughed and walked with me to the door of the store. The smell of leather boots and gun cleaner hit me the moment the electric doors opened. I had worked here for a year before I went to college. It was a familiar scent to me, but not enough to trigger the memories the air outside had.

Emmett was still beside me as he listened for signs of life in the store. He nodded to one of the aisles furthest from the door and followed me over to it. I was chanting a mantra as I walked; it was a small self-affirmation that seemed to stop my hands from gravitating toward the hem of the skirt again.

"He's alone," Emmett said lowly as we neared it. "The only other person in here seems to be in an office in the back."

"Works for me," I said, throwing a swing into my hips as I walked. A swing that was aided by the heels I was wearing. "Lets get this done."

I didn't stop to hear Emmett's comment, or even think about what I was about to do. I was too afraid I would lose my nerve, and that just seemed like a waste considering I was there and all. I marched around the corner of the aisle, where Mike was sat in a camping chair flicking through a playboy of all things. The moment he heard the heels of my boots, he looked up.

I could see the surprise in his eyes before the lust took over. His eyes traveled over my body and lingered at the swell of my breasts shamelessly. His lips curled into a small smirk the closer I got, and his obvious appreciation made me want to deviate from the plan and smack him in the face.

It was only when Emmett rounded the corner behind me that he began to get pale and wan. He'd always been intimidated by Emmett, and watching him shrink back into the chair he was occupying gave me a sense of satisfaction, even if it wasn't my appearance that had made him do it.

"Hi, Mike." I purred, sliding my hands into the pockets of the leather jacket in an attempt to look comfortable.

"Bella."

"I'm sure you know why I'm here."

"I–"

"Scratch that." I snapped cutting him off and bending at the waist so we were eye to eye. His stale breath washed over me, but I kept my composure and stared him down. "I couldn't give a fuck what you think. It's what you're _going _to do that's important."

"What–"

"You're going to delete the message on _Facebook_."

"Why? It's _obviously_ not a rumor," he said looking down at where my boobs were fighting for liberation. I had to admit, I was impressed. He'd grown balls since high school. I almost felt bad that I was about to bring him down a peg or two. Almost.

"Nevertheless, you're going to remove it. I'm not the demure girl I was in high school, Mike, and you would do well to make note of that. I have no problem in fucking up your life. In fact," I said, standing up straight and patting him on the head. "Why don't I start by heading back to the office where your wife is, and telling her about the proposition you gave me in Vegas? I'm sure she'd be very interested in what I have to say."

He was out of the chair in a shot, his hand curled around my arm in restraint. Emmett growled out a warning that had him removing his greasy claw like I was on fire.

"Fine, but I don't see the point. Everyone's seen it," he said, pulling out his phone and unlocking it. I didn't say anything back. There was no point. He would never understand the predicament I was in. He didn't need to. He just needed to get rid of the fucking thing.

He scrolled through his entries and touched the one that concerned me. There was a little red delete button that he pushed without hesitation. I watched it disappear along with the comments and snatched the phone from him. It wasn't part of the plan, but it made me feel better. Especially when I slammed it to the ground and smashed my heel into it until there was a satisfying crack.

"You bitch." He shouted, jumping forward, but Emmett was there before he could reach me.

No matter how nervous I'd been about this, I actually found that I liked this part of myself. Now I'd found the strength in me again, I wasn't sure I wanted to give it up. It was liberating. I peered around Emmett and smiled at the anger stirring in Mike's eyes.

"Glad you finally noticed. Now if you'll excuse me."

I started toward the office. The plan was I was going to introduce myself. Nothing more. Nothing less. I knew she would recognize the name from her husband's _facebook _entry. It was the whole reason for the outfit. Just that inkling of doubt would keep Newton in the shit for a while. Thankfully, I didn't have to go far, she'd either seen something on the surveillance cameras or she'd heard Mike's shout. She came around the corner almost barreling right into me.

"Who the hell are you?" She barked out, looking between her husband and me. The fact that she was the jealous type seemed to work in my favor. Though she probably had every reason to be suspicious. Mike had more than proved that he was scum of the earth.

I stuck out my hand and smiled sweetly. "I'm Bella."

I was right about the recognition. The name set off alarm bells in her head. I could see her working the name, letting it bounce around her skull before her eyes narrowed and settled on Mike Newton, who looked more than sheepish.

"You son of a bitch." She hissed through her teeth, shaking her head. I just slid out of the way and retrieved my hand with a smug sense of satisfaction.

"Baby, I didn't do anything."

"Bullshit, Mike. You promised me. You _swore_ to me that... You know what? Never mind." She turned to me. "You can get out of our store."

I smiled sweetly and sauntered toward Mike and Emmett, who smiled creating craters where his dimples had been. I made sure to pat Mike on the shoulder as I passed. Just to antagonize the situation further. Maybe he would finally learn that actions had consequences.

"Good seeing you, Newt."

I didn't stop. I just linked my arm through Emmett's and strolled out of the store as though I owned the place. Emmett was shaking with laughter as we stepped out of the place and into the cold wind that was blowing around the place.

"I got that on video."

"Of course you did." I laughed, shaking my head. I hadn't seen him with his phone or a camera, so how he'd managed it was beyond me. "That was actually kinda fun."

I dragged in a lung full of fresh air and let it clear my head. It may have made me feel better to get that out of the way and find a small piece of retribution, but I hadn't forgotten what I was going to do next. It still seemed to linger in the back of my mind, even through the elation. I knew Emmett wouldn't think any less of me if I were to change my mind and ask to go back to the hotel, but the truth was I would feel as though I was doing myself a disservice. I had the chance to confront my demons, and try and put some of them to bed.

As I crawled into the car, I shivered a little at the image that cropped up behind my eyes. It was the same sight that always starred in my nightmares. A macabre scene to a harrowing replay, that never seemed to go away.

"You sure you want to do this?"

"I think I am."

He started the car, and pulled out of the lot to Newton's. I caught a glance of Mike's wife staring out of the doors to make sure we left, but I didn't comment on it. I was too focused on where we were going.

Emmett weaved through the streets easily, and found my dad's house without any trouble. He pulled up in the drive and placed it in park, staring at the house in front of him with an air of sadness. He hadn't known my father, but I knew he was saddened by the situation. He and I had always got along.

"You sure you want to do this alone?"

I nodded, unable to speak past the huge lump in my throat. As much as I knew he wouldn't judge me, I didn't want him to see me if I turned into a weeping mass of woman. Raw emotions could be an ugly thing, and no matter how comfortable I felt with him, no one should be put in that kind of a position. I needed to do this alone. I needed to confront this once and for all. At least if I failed, I could say I tried my hardest. That was the most I could ask for.

"Well, I'm forgetting the bear, and I'm staying close. If you need me you text me and I will be here in ten minutes tops."

"Thanks, Em."

He nodded and got out of the car with me, not leaving my side as I looked up at the house in front of me. It was so familiar, but foreign at the same time. The memories of my life in the place seemed to assault me without my permission, and though I knew the worst was still to come, I still sent Emmett away.

"I'll be back in an hour."

"Take your time. If I can't do it I'll be sat in the car waiting for you." I offered, giving him a small smile.

"No. You'll call me."

"Fine. I'll call you. Now get out of here before you spook me."

He gave me one last lingering look before he jogged toward the trail and disappeared amongst the trees, leaving me stood in front of the house alone.

The wind seemed to pick up as I stood just staring at the darkened windows. I doubted there was power to the place, and they couldn't sell it without the title. It was the one thing my dad had always told me. He was a cop, he had a contingency plan and he made sure I knew the drill. I knew where all of his papers were kept. I also knew what was in his will, because I had his copy of it.

Just the thought of all that made the wind feel cold enough to make me shiver, and my skin to break out in goose flesh. Standing outside was doing nothing but dragging out the inevitable. How was I going to know if I could do it or not if I stood outside just staring at the place? I was certain I was already starting a wave of gauzy window treatments to get disturbed. Most of the neighbors were older couples that were retired from the logging business around. I also knew that Mrs. Henderson next door was like a hawk, and I could almost guarantee that mom had asked her to alert her if I was to show up.

All I was doing standing outside, was making a spectacle of myself, especially in my hooker cum stripper get up.

Taking a deep breath, I started up the stairs, listening to every familiar creak and groan of the steps as I did. Every one of them seemed to bring back the nights I tried to sneak in after being out with Jacob too late. Dad never had minded much, but he had a propensity for waking at any noise, and I hated waking him up when he had work in the morning. No matter how hard I'd tried to be quiet, he would always tell me that I got in late, just to let me know my act of stealth had failed miserably. I used to thank God he'd never asked what I'd been doing. I was certain my blush would have given me away.

When I finally reached the top, I reached up to the awning, where the spare key was hidden. It was impossible to find unless you knew it was there. It sat in a small rut that dad had made. The extra height the shoes gave me made it easy to retrieve.

I turned it in my hands a couple of times, surprised by the weight it seemed to have in my cold hands. Somewhere deep inside of myself I realized I was yet again stalling, but I couldn't help it. The thought of what was behind that door made my stomach flip uncomfortably.

The last time I'd come through the front door had been my worst nightmare. I'd made a trip up to Callum Bay, which was around forty minutes north of Forks. I'd only been up there for an hour tops. I'd stopped into the supermarket on the way home to get something for dinner for dad and I. I'd been a little more upset than normal because I'd done something stupid and asked questions when I should have known better and left well enough alone. When I'd come out to drive home, Jacob had been leaning against my truck, arms crossed looking pitiful. Sadly, I didn't have any sympathy. I was mad at him. When he got in my truck and refused to get out, I took off home. We'd been arguing up a storm, though I'd managed to keep my little secret. I'd planned to drop the bomb when I was able to go in the house and escape him. I wanted him to chew on what I had to throw at him.

Unfortunately, it didn't happen that way. The moment the truck stopped, I noticed the door was wide open in the house, and Jacob had tensed next to me, his whole body shaking so hard I though he would phase in the truck.

Before he could stop me I was out of the truck and heading up the stairs. Before I got to the door, he knocked me out of the way and attacked the streak of red that came flying toward me. I'd ignored the fight on my front lawn and scrambled up the stairs. Blood was everywhere, painting the walls and floors crimson red. I'd found my dad, long dead, on the living room floor, his body already cold and pale.

Everything after that was a haze. I can remember Victoria escaping, and screaming at Jacob, and somewhere in my hazy memory, I remember someone else showing up. I was too far gone though, my body was curled around my fathers, and all I could see was the blood covering everything, including me.

Thankfully, a car passing pulled me out of my rumination and sent me forward. I unlocked the door and threw it open, blocking out the memory and forcing myself to see what was ahead.

The room at the front of the house had been emptied of everything and the walls repainted. Where there was once an area rug was now nothing but well polished hardwood floors. There was no furniture, none of the pictures stood where they had been either. It was like an empty home. I pushed the door closed behind me and ventured further in.

The house had been cleaned since the last time I'd been here. When I'd come for my father's things, there had still been dishes in the sink and a coffee cup on the kitchen table. There were so many memories of him, I'd sprinted up the stairs, grabbed everything I'd needed and headed out without looking back. It had been nothing but a tomb, a well-preserved reminder of what I had lost. I circled into the kitchen and stood in the middle, staring at the sunny yellow cabinets, and wishing that I could hear my dad moving around upstairs.

Seeing the place emptied and tided didn't help. I'd thought it would save me from the memories that were seared into my head, but it hadn't. I still saw his utility belt on the hook inside the kitchen. His polished shoes sat neatly under them, or his waders stinking the place up from where he'd left them to dry and forgotten to put them back in the garage. I saw it with perfect clarity, even if I hadn't noticed it before, now it had a permanent place in my memory.

I moved toward the sink as my stomach rolled harder in small waves, but I never made it. As I stumbled over the hardwood in the huge heels, I heard the front door thrown open and bounce against the wall with a dull thud.

* * *

**Authors Note: **I forgot this was a bit of a cliffie... Worked out kinda well really. lol. Thank you all so much for sticking with, me if you have, I adore and love you to pieces! Thank you for reading, alerting and adding to favorites and of course for the amazing reviews you guys send. You have no idea how much I love you guys!

Pinkindeed... I love and respect you so much! I miss you!

Hev99 & Sabi'sSookie... I cannot wait for the upcoming events this year! I love you both so very much!

**MWAH! **


	18. Chapter 18: Forgotten Friendships

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 18: Forgotten Friendships**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_When the rain came down  
__Upon our rooftop  
__With a rhythm like this  
__Let the hair stand up  
__On my shoulders  
__When you open your mouth_

_**Johnny Belinda by Active Child**_

* * *

"Okay you bloodsucking son-of-a-bitch, show yourself."

My eyes widened as the voice rang out through the house, and I couldn't help my lips from curling slightly. It was a voice I'd recognized easily. Something about it seemed to calm me and amuse me all at the same time. I looked down at myself and realized it was going to be an interesting interaction.

"Chill the fuck out, it's just me." I shouted, sticking my head around the corner and grinning at him. I could see how little he'd changed, but for a shifter who seemed to embrace his wolf side, that really didn't surprise me. I looked him up and down and couldn't believe what I was actually seeing.

"Pull my tail and call me Fido. Look what the fucking cat dragged in."

"Paul Lahote. What idiot gave you a badge and a gun?" I teased back, crossing my arms and leaning against the door jam as I admired him in his uniform.

Paul and I had made friends after I had started hanging out with Jacob. At first he'd been pissed that someone outside of their tribe knew their secret, and he hated that I had been friends with the Cullens. As time passed, he and I had a healthy banter going on, which quickly progressed into flirting. We were good friends, and I loved him to death. After Jacob had imprinted, Paul, Leah and I had spent more time together grumbling about just how fucked up imprinting was. Leah, more than Paul, understood my predicament because Sam had imprinted on her cousin, Emily, but Paul just hated the idea of being forced into a relationship and not having a say in it. He loved having his freedom and sowing his wild oats, it was something he exceeded at.

With a kick of his foot, he closed the door behind him. Within two of his long strides, he was dragging me up his body until I had no choice but to wrap my legs around him and hook my ankles together. With his height it was a long way to the ground, and I would more than likely break my ankle in the boots I was wearing. I clung to him like a sloth as his gun pinched my thigh through the fishnets.

I had to admit, the man looked good in a uniform, and his face just seemed to shine as he grinned down at me. Paul's warm body chased away the last of my shivers and the correlating nausea as he pulled me close and made his way into the kitchen. He deposited me on the counter and stayed wedged between my legs so the skirt was more of a belt. I was just happy I'd had the foresight to put some boy shorts on underneath it. Flashing my cooter wasn't exactly on the agenda for the day. In true Paul fashion, he leaned in toward me, his hands on either side of my hips as they landed on the counter propping him up.

"You're a sight for sore eyes, girl. But damn do you stink. I see old habits die hard."

"By old habits, I'm assuming you mean my association with the Cullens?" I teased.

"Well I was driving by, minding my own business, and then caught a whiff through my vent. You know how it goes."

"I do. You playing double duty, officer?"

"Always. Now," he said, looking down at the swell of my cleavage. "Would you mind explaining to me why the hell you're dressed like a wet dream?"

"You like?" I asked, making my voice husky. It hadn't occurred to me that he wouldn't have seen the _Facebook_ post. I guess not everyone had graduated to social networking. At least that meant I didn't have to worry about pity from Jacob.

"Like isn't exactly a word I would use. You're positively fuckable."

"You're such a charmer." I snorted, laying a palm on his chest and taking a deep breath. "But in answer to your question, I was a stripper and there was a rumor being spread by one of the denizens of Forks. Of course I couldn't let that go without retaliating. So I figured I would pay him a visit, and let his wife know exactly how he knew about my profession."

Paul's eyebrows were so far into his hairline they were threatening to blend together. It was amusing to watch him process this information. As tempting as it was to comment on his look of surprise, I kept my mouth shut and let him work through it. His body seemed to gravitate closer toward mine, and as wide as he was, he blocked the rest of he room from me in the process. I'd forgotten how big the Quileutes were. Being this close to him made the chilly air completely disappear.

That thought alone brought back a whole set of other memories I wasn't going to touch.

"You? A stripper?"

"Does that surprise you?"

"No, but the idea goes straight to my dick."

"Of course it did you horn dog. God, I missed you." I laughed, leaning forward so our foreheads were touching.

"I missed you too. Things got boring without you around. The pool of women I hadn't slept with was reduced to the untouchables."

"I was the one that got away." I mocked wistfully.

"The only fucking time my conscience has ever made an appearance and I have never regretted anything more."

I smiled at the memory and touched my lips to his briefly as I closed my eyes just taking in the moment. A week after Jacob had imprinted, Paul had called me and ordered me to meet him in a bar in Port Angeles. He wouldn't take no for an answer, and threatened to drag me there if I refused.

Knowing he would make good on his promise, I agreed. He'd talked to me for hours, feeding me alcohol as I gushed about how unfair it was. I was mad, even though I knew it wasn't Jacob's fault. He had no control over the imprint. Paul had told me that Jacob still loved me, but he couldn't fight it. At the time, I'd thought that was true. I'd believed what he'd said, because it was, theoretically, how it worked. We'd proceeded to get heavily inebriated, and ended up at my tiny duplex. It had started innocently enough. The same flirting that we'd always had seemed to vibrate between us and after I'd flashed him my boobs, for a reason I can't remember, he kissed me.

It was one of those kisses that will go down in history. His body was so hot over mine, and his mouth was a thing of beauty that had more talent than I could have ever imagined. I was so desperate to forget and Paul was giving me a promise of that. If his mouth was any indication of what else he could do, I knew he could wipe my mind clean and help me sleep for the first time in weeks. When he'd rocked his hips against me that night, I had known I wouldn't regret it, but he'd pulled away. He hadn't wanted to take advantage of me while I was drunk and in pain from being dumped. He'd told me that we could revisit it later, but it never happened. Though nothing really changed between us. We'd still been as comfortable as ever.

"I think about it a lot. You know. Cashing in that rain check."

I smiled and let my eyes flicker open, he was staring at my lips and I could see that hunger in his eyes.

"So did I." I said honestly.

"Past tense?"

"Time changes everything, Paul. You more than anyone should know that."

He blew out a long sigh, the heat of his breath bathing me in the exhale. I had never forgotten the musky smell of him from that night. It had comforted me and made me realize that my life wasn't over. If only I hadn't seen Jacob and his imprint together, maybe things would have been different. It had pushed me to go to Callum Bay, to make that stupid choice.

"Hey, it's okay." Paul muttered, wiping a stray tear from my cheek. I hadn't even realized that I was crying. "We'll change the subject. So how about them bloodsuckers?"

I barked out a laugh and swallowed back the emotions that were threatening to overcome me. It was stupid that something like that would set me off, but I was emotionally charged and still, technically in: _The_ _Cullen's Home for the Drug Addicted Strippers Who Make Bad Choices Program_.

"There's just one here with me, Emmett, and he's giving me moral support. So be nice or I will be forced to neuter you the next time you phase."

"Contrary to belief, I am capable of civility."

"Bullshit." I coughed, making him grin at me in response. I'd forgotten how easy it was to be friends with him. Paul, when he wasn't being an asshole, could be your best friend. He was loyal and funny, passionate and honest.

"So are you and the big guy–"

"God no! You're such a perv. He's very happily married to Rosalie. He's like a brother to me."

"Good." He growled with every ounce of masculinity in his body.

"Careful, Lahote. You're possessive side is starting to show," I said huskily, doing my phone sex operator voice.

"I'll show you possessive you little minx. How about–"

"Paul?"

I could see the tension roll over Paul's shoulder as the worried voice filtered into the house, and the door once again slammed into the hall wall. It seemed no one was capable of opening a door properly. Not that it mattered, because this new voice made my insides revolt, and the wave of nausea from earlier come back with a vengeance. I wasn't sure it was possible, but I physically felt the color drain from my face. I wanted to run and hide, but Paul kept me trapped.

"It's all clear. It was a Cullen," Paul said in response as he cupped my cheek and caught my eyes. Apparently my tremble of anger hadn't gone unnoticed. "But I'm kinda busy here, so if you wouldn't mind–"

"You've got another chick in here? Don't you think it would have been better to fucking call in the impromptu visit? When did you get so complacent?"

Paul shook his head and looked over his shoulder. Thankfully his big body was blocking me from view. I was just thankful for the shit load of perfume I'd put on so they wouldn't smell me in Newton's. It seemed to be the only thing that stopped him from picking me out. I was hoping that the familiarity he could smell under it would be attributed to being in my house.

"I'm not complacent, Jake. It was a passing visit. He's hunting then he's heading out of town. No stranger danger, compadre. Just one of those yellow eyed freaks."

"Was it–"

"No. It's the one they call Emmett."

I heard Jacob sigh, and I thought about shoving something down his throat so he would choke on it. My anger seemed to boil through my body. It was a testament to how much I didn't want to see him that I was able to keep quiet. I didn't like him thinking about me in any capacity.

"Have they seen her?"

"Dude, seriously. I am about to get balls deep in a hot chick, and you're questioning me? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"It wouldn't have been a fucking problem if you'd turned off the alarm you jackass. I told you to stop using this place to hook up with women, and I meant it."

I twisted Paul's nipple for using my home as somewhere to screw chicks, and he turned to face me his eyes narrowed. As intimidating as it was, I could see the faint smirk on his lips, which ruined the effect. I was going to have to talk to him about that. Though I was tempted to give him a key just to piss Jacob off. Hell, if it would piss Jacob off, I would tell Paul to move in so it had some life in the place.

"Can. We. Talk. About. This. Later?" Paul ground out, looking over his shoulder again.

There was a pause, where I assumed there was some silent communication going on between them, but ignored it. Paul was doing his thing. I'm sure it wasn't he first time they'd been through this.

"Just reset the alarm when you leave. You know it alerts the station every time it's tripped."

"Done. Now fuck off."

Jake mumbled as he left, and I tracked his way down the hall and out the front door. They were normally quiet when they walked, but the cop shoes seemed to give them away. It made judging the distance a lot easier.

"You screw people in here?" I asked incredulously, just as Paul slipped his hand over my mouth to shut me up.

You'd think after living with the Cullens for weeks, I would have remembered that their hearing was impeccable and would have gone into default mode and waited for the all clear. Unfortunately, I hadn't exercised that caution, and from the look on Paul's face, it had been too late.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, as the door yet again bounced off the wall.

"Bella?"

Before I could do, or say, anything, Paul was thrown away from me to the other side of the room. He hit the sunny cabinets, shattering the bright yellow wood so the pieces launched like weapons through the air. Paul was sprawled on the ground, his arms and legs spread eagle, while his baby finger was bent in the wrong direction.

Jacob stalked toward him in his own uniform, vibrations running through him like he was a tuning fork as he leaned over Paul. I could see his fists balling up and knew that it was time I finally spoke to Jacob for the first time since my father had died.

"Don't you fucking dare, Jacob Black." I shouted, sliding from the counter and moving to Paul's side. I straightened my skirt before I lowered myself to my knees next to him and examined his finger.

"He fucking lied to me."

"No. He didn't," I said without looking at him. "You never asked him who he was with, and when you asked if the Cullen's had seen me, he changed the subject. Nobody lied but you."

"Bella," Paul said, sitting up. I knew that no matter what he thought about imprinting, he still understood there was no fighting it. He just didn't have the information I did. Without any warning, I snapped his finger back into place and winced as he cursed up a storm. Living around those boys for so long had made me an expert at putting broken things back together.

"Stay out of it, Paul." Jacob snapped. "I can't believe you were about to let me walk away while Bella was here all along."

"She doesn't want to see you, asshole."

"That's not your call, Paul."

"No. It's mine." I ground out, my jaw filled with tension.

"Yeah you, who after all this fucking time decide to come back with a fucking Cullen in tow. I should have known."

I pushed to my feet and stomped toward Jacob, avoiding the hand of Paul's that tried to grab me.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that, Jacob Black. You have no say in what I do anymore."

"The fuck I don't, Bella." He growled, a shiver running down him as he leered over me.

As intimidating as the sight was, he never had scared me, even in wolf form. I wasn't going to start now, just because he was having a hissy fit. I knew him too well to be intimidated by him. I'd thought I'd known every part of him, but I'd been proven wrong before. Still, I wasn't one to back down, especially not when it came to Jacob Black.

"I should have known you'd go running back to them. Back to _him_. You never did get over him did you? No matter what I did, it was always him."

"Fuck. You!" I screamed, I had lost my temper completely and was no longer in control of my actions. It didn't help that a wild craving seemed to flare up inside of me, adding fuel to an already wild fire. I pushed him, hard. He hadn't been expecting it so he stumbled, his back hitting the wall.

To say he'd hit a nerve was an understatement. He was right, and I'd never been able to hide that from him. He'd just accepted it and seemed content that I loved him in a different way. It had always been Edward. No matter how much I lied to myself the truth was right there, being spat back at me in hatred. It didn't change anything, because I was still too pissed off and confused to ever address it.

"You're the one who ended things, Jacob. You're the one that threw me away."

"I FUCKING IMPRINTED." He bellowed back at me. We were nose to nose, both of us so angry out hands were balls. My nails were digging into the flesh of my palm so hard, it took me a moment to realize I'd made myself bleed.

I hated how he blamed everything on the imprint. I hated how he threw it in my face every time I mentioned how upset I was about the whole fucking thing. More than that, I hated that he was lying to me. Yes. He'd imprinted, but he had no idea that I knew more than that. I'd never got the chance to tell him.

"And _that_ I could have lived with," I said in a deathly calm voice.

"Yeah. It looks like it, Bella."

Paul came up behind me, and pulled me back from Jacob. I knew he could see the tremors running through his brother in arms. He didn't want to see me hurt, and I appreciated that, but it wasn't going to stop me from saying what I'd had to say. What I'd kept inside of me all of this time as it festered and grew into resentment.

"You knew there was a chance it could happen," Jacob said, something akin to sadness filling his voice. "I never meant to hurt you."

"Don't you dare throw that in my face." I choked out, the emotions suddenly boiling over into angry tears. "I hate you because you betrayed me."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

I laughed, but it sounded sick and distorted to my own ears. I couldn't believe he was denying it. I realized that he'd made an assumption that I had accepted what had happened. He'd never expected me to follow up. He'd underestimated my curiosity and how well I'd known him. I'd known he was hiding something. His actions just weren't making sense to me. As much as I wanted to know what he was hiding, I also wanted to know what this girl had that I didn't. We'd been so good together; we made sense.

None of that mattered now I knew the truth though. It had shown me just how much he'd cared for me. I hadn't told a soul, and from his blatant, and outright lies, I could only assume he hadn't told anyone else.

"Do you know where I was coming from the day my dad was murdered?"

"How the hell–"

"I had just come back from Callum Bay."

I watched as the color drained from his face. There was no shaking now, because there was no anger. Just guilt and realization... The name of the small town would mean everything to him.

"I met a lovely girl in a diner up there. Her name was–"

"Jennifer."

I smirked at him as the tears fell freely down my cheeks. He was finally starting to see the whole damn picture. He was finally starting to see why I was so pissed off, and though it should have made me feel better, it didn't. It was just another reminder that my obsession with Jacob's imprint had left my father alone. Paul wrapped his arms around me, and I took strength from having him folded around me. He must have known what was coming. He knew the name.

"We got to talking. I was just curious about her because you refused to talk about it. She's a _talker_ isn't she? She was so excited about her new boyfriend and the animal magnetism she seemed to have with him. She told me all about the first time she met him and screwed on the hood of her car in the auto shop he worked in, and that they'd been screwing like rabbits since. She told me he was insatiable."

"Bella–"

"_That's_ what I am pissed off about. Then to come home to dad–" I broke down, and Paul turned me in his arms and into his chest with a grip that made my ribs ache.

"I don't believe you, Jacob," Paul said with disgust. Pulling me further away from him. "Not only did you lie to Bella, you cheated on her. I've always thought you were a decent guy. That you knew what you had with Bella, that the imprint hurt you as much as it hurt her. You're a piece of shit."

"Paul you don't–"

"Understand?" Paul growled. "You're a fucking idiot, Jacob. Even Sam fought his imprint because he loved Leah. You didn't fight at all. You just selfishly took what you wanted. The consequences be damned. Get out."

"Don't get chivalrous now, Paul, it doesn't suit you."

"Does it suit me?" Emmett growled. I looked up to see him stood facing Jacob, he was half way between me and him, and though I could tell Paul wasn't comfortable, he seemed more inclined to side with Emmett than Jacob. I would never have thought I would have seen the day.

Jacob ignored both of them and squeezed the back of his neck. He tried to pass Emmett, but the move was anticipated and blocked. I'd never been so glad that I had friends like these before. I hadn't known how they would react to this. I'd kept my mouth shut for so long, because I felt as though it had been my shame. I felt like I had done something to make Jacob do that. Hell, I'd scared Edward off... It had seemed par for the course, no matter how much the betrayal stung.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I never meant–"

"For me to find out?" I spat back, stepping out of Paul's arms and glaring at Jacob.

"I wish I could explain it."

"It's easy," I said swallowing another lump in my throat. "You never cared. If you'd loved me like you said you did, you would never have betrayed me like that. You wouldn't have been fucking her before you broke up with me. You would have cared enough to be watching dad instead of trying to ease your guilty conscience and shifting the blame to me."

"That's not fair, Bella."

"Isn't it? You know what makes me sick? Every time I tried to talk to you about the imprint you got defensive and threw it in my face that I'd known it was a possibility. You made me feel so fucking small and lost. All the while you knew you'd been fucking her while we were still together. We were going to move in together, Jake. Do you know how many times I thought about our life together? About marrying you, about having a baby with you? All the while, it meant nothing to you."

Jacob shifted to the side once again as I bore my soul to him. This time both Paul and Emmett stepped forward. It was weird seeing them shoulder to shoulder in unity but I appreciated it. I'd said too much, I knew it from the raw edges of the old wound around my heart as it pulsed and grew. My past had a nasty way of making my present miserable. Every person I'd loved had caused me pain. It was why I'd been so eager to stay away from Ryan. Edward may have left, but Jacob had betrayed me in the worst kind of way.

"I loved you, Bella, but it was never enough. I always had to share you."

"And that's a reason to do what you did?" Paul interjected. "You knew from the beginning what you were getting into, Jake, we all saw it when you phased. We saw that you were happy that she was giving you a chance."

"You're one to fucking talk, Lahote. You're a man whore."

"And everyone knows it. I don't hide what I am, Jake. I'm an asshole. I say it up front and center, and I make no apologies. You have no fucking clue how lucky you were to have this girl love you, do you? I never understood in the beginning, but she's special in a way you would never understand, Black. Now I'm not going to ask you again. Get the fuck out."

Jacob looked at me. Really looked at me for the first time since he'd walked in. I knew he could see the clothes I was wearing, and I was certain I still smelled weird, but it was none of his concern anymore. I was through talking to him. I didn't want to even look at him anymore. I resented him for what he did, and what he now stood for in my life.

With one last look at the two men in front of him, Jacob turned and walked out of the door, and I sank to my knees as the weight of it all landed squarely on my chest. I'd thought I would get closure finally confronting Jacob about all of this, but it only left me hollow, because he hadn't had an answer to why he'd done it.

Paul and Emmett both approached me and crouched. As nice as it was to see Paul, I wanted out. I couldn't be here anymore. It was like being crushed.

"Emmett, get me out of here. Please."

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**Authors Note: **So... Now you know why Bella was so ripped apart by the imprint, and Jacob's betrayal. It wasn't what you would think of him. Unfortunately, it wasn't a simple imprint at all and her discover of this was the same day as Charlie's murder. I hope that puts a few things into perspective.

Thank you guys so much for reading, adding to alerts and favorites and for the reviews. I know I still suck at the replies and I would promise to respond but I'm never sure how a week is going to go. Please know that I read each and every one and I love you all for your thoughts and for taking the time out to let me know what you think. You're all amazing and I hate not being able to sit down and reply.

To PinkIndeed... Thank you as always for being your amazing self and not giving up on me! Love you!

To Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie, You know how much I love you and I can't wait for the end of summer xoxo Love you beyond rationality xoxo

**MWAH!**


	19. Chapter 19: Coming Clean

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 19: Coming Clean**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

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_I lock the door  
__Spinning the dust...  
__In a room  
__Still like the sun around you  
__Don't like the space of  
__All our space of  
__And you're just become a word..._

_**Low Is A Height by Great Northern**_

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After a set of goodbyes, and exchange of phone numbers with Paul, Emmett and I were on our way out of Forks. In my mind, it wasn't soon enough; if I could have rewound the day and left after Newton's, I would have. I was happy I'd been able to see Paul, but seeing Jacob had just dragged up a whole shit load of bad memories I couldn't seem to shake.

Emmett didn't ask questions, but I could feel his glances as he drove. He was concerned that I'd been pushed too far and was reverting into some vegetative state to hibernate until the moment passed. I couldn't deny that the thought of my veins flaring with the memory-wiping agent was tempting, but aside from that I was just throwing myself a pity party and trying very hard to get past the incident. A mental vacation would have been fabulous, but that was what had got me into the predicament I was in. I needed to process and move on.

"Emmett?" I said quietly. I was hoping that he would hold off on the pity, it was another one of those things I hadn't mentioned because I didn't want to get the "_look_."

"What's up?" he asked in his natural easy tone. I could have hugged him for being normal. I knew how difficult it could be to know how to act when a shit storm like the one we'd been in occurred. It was another one of those things he was good at.

"Do you think we could fly back tonight? I know you have the hotel room and everything, but–"

"Bella. We can do whatever the hell you want. We did what we came here for, right?"

"I guess. It's a waste of money for the hotel room though."

Emmett laughed and looked over at me with one of his eyebrows raised. I shrugged in response. Sure, they were richer than dirt and still had the stuff rolling in thanks to Alice's insight in the stock market, but that didn't mean they just threw the stuff away. Frivolous spending aside, they normally had something to show for the money they spent.

"No one will blink an eye at it. It's more important to get you somewhere you're comfortable, and with someone who knows how to talk about what just happened."

"I don't need to talk about it."

Emmett sighed and pulled into a little turn off on the road to Port Angeles. He left the engine running but slipped it into park as he turned to look at me in his seat. His golden eyes just bored into mine, waiting for me to admit that there was a need to discuss what had just happened. There was, but I didn't want him to be uncomfortable around me, because he thought I was going to get all emotional again. For now, I'd bled it all out and I was in the silent contemplation stage.

I'd been so sure that confronting Jacob about his infidelity would have made me feel better, that seeing his guilt shining would have been satisfying, but all it did was make me feel empty. He hadn't denied it, he hadn't explained it; he hadn't really given me a valid explanation. What had I done wrong? At the time I hadn't had much comparison, but even as an adult I knew that we'd had some great sex.

"It wasn't you," Emmett said gently.

I looked up at him. There was no way he could read my mind, so had I said it aloud?

"I don't need to get in your head to know what you're thinking," he said with a small smile. "It's the first thought anyone would have. What did I do wrong? The answer is nothing, Bella. You didn't do anything wrong. He's a selfish little asshole who was thinking with his dick. None of this is reflected on you or your relationship with him."

"Then why was I so easy to dismiss?"

"Guilt, plain and simple. He knew he fucked up."

"But he kept doing it, Emmett. Even once I think I could forgive, I know what the imprint is like. I was with Embry when he met his. It was like he'd been smacked in the face with an iron skillet. I just want to know why he would keep doing it."

"Because he's an asshole. I'm not making excuses for him, but guilt is played out differently in everyone. I would also hazard a guess that he never thought he would get caught. I'm sure Carlisle could explain it better, hell, even Rose could do a better job than I am, but it wasn't you, Bella."

"But he was right, Emmett. When I found out what they were, and he'd explained the whole imprinting thing to me, I knew there was a chance he would find someone. I was an idiot. I keep setting myself up for failure. First Edward, then Jacob... I just don't know what I'm doing anymore."

"How the hell did you get mixed up with the wolves anyway?"

"Well you know the whole thing with Jacob, he's how I discovered what you were. He'd inadvertently given me their history when he gave me yours. When he started acting weird I figured it all out. When Victoria came after me, I just became part of their group. I knew Jacob had a crush on me. He was the only one that seemed to ease the pain of losing Edward and all of you. Eventually, I just gave in."

"You loved him?"

"Very much. It wasn't the all consuming, needing him to breathe love I had with... That I had lost... but it was good and I felt it to my bones, I was happy. Now I just see how naive I was."

I leaned back in the seat I was occupying and closed my eyes. I could feel the craving starting to work it's way into my body. My hands were trembling and the claws of need were scratching at me with a vengeance. This was just what I needed on top of everything else. I had never wanted to shoot up more than I did in that moment. The need inside of me was so strong it took everything inside me not to get out of the car and start knocking on doors to find a dealer.

"Just take a deep breath. We'll get you back to Alaska before the morning."

"I'm sorry, Emmett."

"For what?"

"Being such a mess. Being a pain in the ass. Putting all of this on you. Take your pick. I'm a hot mess."

"Don't be so dramatic, woman," he said lightly, his hand closing over one of mine. "If you only knew some of the crap I got Jasper out of, you'd realize that this is something I want to help with."

"I'm afraid to ask."

"You should be." He snorted, putting the car in reverse and backing out of the small lane. "Lets just say his experiments aren't always as clean as they should be."

Emmett started explaining and I listened, unaware that the world around us was passing by in an alarming speed. He regaled in his story telling, he gave the smallest of details that would occasionally steer the conversation away from the story he was telling. Thankfully, his photographic memory made it easy to find where he'd left off, and I soon found myself laughing along with him.

It didn't make everything all right, because nothing would do that, but he did make the trip to the hotel and the first half of the plane ride pass quickly. He'd distracted me. It was something I'd needed, and he'd offered it to me. It had also lightened the mood. Something I was certain that Emmett excelled at.

"Thanks, Emmett," I said as I stared out of the window and into darkness. I could see the stars above sparkling in the sky, and with the sporadic lights below, it looked as though it was reflected. There was a peace in it.

"No need to thank me. I love knowing you're never going to look at Jasper the same way."

I snorted and looked over at him. He was grinning from ear to ear as he leaned back in his chair with his eyes closed and his hands linked over his abs. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought he was sleeping. He had a gift, I decided. Edward had once told me it was his strength that he'd carried over when he became a vampire, but I was starting to think it was his compassion and humility. He had a talent for making me feel relaxed and safe. He was like the brother I'd never had but always wanted.

Opening one eye, he looked at me, his eyebrow arching in question. I wasn't sure how to explain what I was thinking about so I shrugged and flicked him the bird.

"Nice to have you back."

I gave him a smile and leaned back in my chair, pulling my knees against my chest. I'd had time to change at the hotel, thank God. Now, I was back in jeans and shirt, and, though I wasn't looking forward to it, when we landed I would once again be bundled in the ski gear that was in the chair next to me.

"Can I ask you something?" Emmett finally said. The cabin only had a dim light, but when I looked over at him I could clearly see his amber eyes watching me. Something told me this wasn't going to be a lighthearted question. As much as I would have loved to have avoided it, I figured I owed it to him to answer any question he had.

"Sure."

"What Jacob said, about you never getting over Edward... Is that true?"

I looked down at my hands that were wrapped around my calves. It was a difficult question that I had only just figured the answer out for myself. I wasn't sure how to word my response to Emmett, because I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

"It's true. No matter how much I don't want it to be. I will always love him in some way, but I also hate him. It was so easy for him to walk away from me. When I think back, I realize that he didn't care about me. I had no choice in the matter. He didn't care what I wanted, and he kept his promise too. It was like he'd never existed, except for one small detail."

"Victoria?"

I nodded in response. "I don't blame him for what happened. Or for the dozen times she tried to get past the wolves to kill me. I'd always known he was too good for me, but to realize I was nothing but a distraction for him... I can never forgive him for leading me on like that."

"What if he'd lied?"

I snapped my head in his direction and could only imagine how narrow my eyes were as I glared at him. I didn't like what he was insinuating. He was beginning to sound like Edward and Alice, and I honestly wasn't ready to even broach that topic yet.

He held up his hand in surrender. "I'm impartial here. It was just a question."

"If he was lying, he wouldn't have stayed away. I was catatonic for months after you left, I became reckless and risked my life a couple of time when I convinced myself that I could hear him in my head. He didn't come the first time Victoria tried to kill me, no matter how much I called out his name. He was the one person in the world I longed for when dad was killed, but there was nothing. I know it sounds selfish, Em, but I have been through some of the darkest periods of my life and I was alone, and you know when it all started?"

"When you met us?"

"No, when Edward left me. He gave me a purpose, a reason to live and breathe. He made me feel like I belonged for the first time in my life, then he ripped it all away, and I was left with nothing. I realize that sounds petty, but it's how I felt. Then he shows up in Vegas and starts ordering me around like he has some say in how I live my life. I am not a possession, and I refuse to let him think I'm all right with that. I'm not the girl you left behind all those years ago, Emmett. She's gone, and in her place is this cynical, sarcastic woman, and I like her, well maybe the bitterness leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but I am happy where I am. I refuse to be that naive girl that lets herself be navigated through life again."

"You have every right in the world to be angry, Bella."

I shook my head and folded my hands on the tops of my knees, resting my chin on them.

"I'm angry _at_ the world. There were mornings I would wake up, and in that rare moment of sobriety think, '_What the fuck happened to my life?_' I was a decent student. I had dreams just like everyone else. I was the quintessential good girl. What the fuck did I do to deserve the shit thrown at me?"

"I used to think the same thing."

I looked over at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Believe me, I know I'm lucky, Bella. I love Rosalie more than my own life, but waking up after being mauled by a bear and realizing that I was a vampire wasn't fun. The bloodlust, that was even worse. For about eighteen months after I was changed, I couldn't even look at Rose. She was always there guiding me, and I was brought up to respect women so I was never rude to her, but I resented her for making me an abomination. I couldn't understand what I'd done to deserve that kind of torture. I couldn't visit my brothers, sisters and parents because I would kill them. I was isolated from everything I knew. She must have known how I felt, but she was so patient with me. When I would mess up and get too close to a human, she covered it up and never told a soul. When I was upset, she would sit with me for hours, and not say a word. She waited for me to get my shit together."

I'd never heard much about Emmett and Rosalie's past before. I hadn't realized that he'd hated life as a vampire to begin with, because he embraced it so much for all the time I'd known him. It opened my eyes a little bit. I'd been so determined to become what they were that I hadn't once thought about how it must have been for them, especially when it was sprung on them when they'd least expected it. What they had to live without once that change had taken place.

"When did you realize that you were okay with it all?"

Emmett smiled at me, his dimples running deep as he reverted to his memory. I could see how much he loved Rosalie in that moment. I'd never had a doubt that he'd loved her, but the intensity of it was clearly written on his features.

"I was pouting. We were living in Alaska at the time, and I was hungry and frustrated. I'd left before she could follow and just hung around in the mountains looking for something to kill, to take out all my pent up anger on. She found me throwing boulders down the mountain and leaned against a tree watching me, while I ignored her. She started telling me about how every emotion was heightened as a vampire. She said that my anger would subside, and I would find some semblance of balance. We got into a stupid argument, and then she kissed me. Her body melted into mine and it was like everything fell into place." He paused and stared wistfully out the window. "We were insatiable after that. She just made sense to me, and I started falling in love with her. I found the good things about this life and gripped onto them with both hands. Rose and I balanced one another out and we found our groove in life."

I smiled at him. I remembered feeling that way once. I remembered the way I felt like I belonged, that I'd found something that finally made sense to me.

"Nothing will ever replace what you lost, Bella, but it will get easier with time. You just have to open your eyes and find the good in your life, and when you find it. Hold on to it, fight for it."

As good a piece of advice as that was... I just didn't know what I wanted. Loving someone was one thing, but that didn't mean it was the right thing for you. I'd been in love with Orlando Bloom since I'd seen Lord of the Rings, but that didn't mean he was my future. It was all a moot point anyway. Edward had made it perfectly clear it hadn't been like that between us, and he'd meant it. The resolution in his eyes as we'd stood in the woods was more than clear. I had avoided talking about it because I didn't need a reminder of that.

Sure, he'd cornered me and told me that he loved me, twice, but I had stopped him before he could go any further. I didn't think I could handle listening to the 'but' that came after it. The truth was; I wasn't even sure we would mesh like we did before. He was controlling and overprotective to the point of suffocating me, he was over opinionated and bossy. I didn't need that in my life. I knew what was best for me.

As much as Emmett had given me to think about, I couldn't help but think it was pointless. All of these thoughts and inclinations I was having were nothing but projections of the things I had wanted in the past. I wasn't the same person I was. It was a moot point.

The plane dipped suddenly and I grabbed onto the arms of my chair and glared in the general direction of the pilot as Emmett stayed with his eyes closed and hands crossed. I was glad to know he wasn't waiting for me to come up with some great epiphany. He knew how I worked.

"I've got clearance from Anchorage," the pilot said from the front. "We're coming into land."

Emmett sat up and clicked his seatbelt shut, and I followed suit, my hands gripping the armrests as we bounced our way to the tarmac.

It was the worst landing ever. The pilot had apologized over and over, explaining that we'd beaten the snowstorm by mere seconds, and that had been the cause of the roller coaster effect. I didn't really care. I was just happy that we were on the ground in one piece. I was even happier to see that Rosalie was sat in one of the SUV's waiting for us. As fun as the run down there had been I couldn't imagine going back in a blizzard.

She gave us both a smile as we climbed in; well I rolled in with the amount of clothes I was wearing. The snow was beginning to fall heavily around us. I was all sunshine and relaxation until I saw Alice sat in the back. I knew she'd wanted an explanation, but I'd hoped she could at least wait.

"You disappeared," she said flatly, as I situated myself and tugged on the safety belt.

"Hi, Alice. Nice to see you too."

"Ignore her, she's been moody since you left," Rose said from the front seat and flashed me a smile.

"I have not been moody. I was concerned when I couldn't see her or Emmett anymore."

"Me?" Emmett asked, leaning in to kiss Rosalie. He didn't speak again until he resurfaced.

"You were deciding on the deer and the mountain lion and then there was nothing."

"That's when I heard Bella yelling and decided to go back to the house. I wonder if it's the wolves that block your visions?"

"Wolves?" Alice asked, the pitch in her voice rising.

"The Quileutes." Emmett clarified. "Bella got into an argument with Jacob."

"Why? And how on earth did you manage to get caught up with the wolves?"

"You left," I said in the same flat tone she'd greeted me in. "Considering you had a treaty with them I figured you would have known that they were there. What the hell was I supposed to do? They were my friends, they protected me."

"Protected you?" she asked, as Rose pulled onto what I thought was the highway. It was hard to tell with all the snow falling. "From what?"

"Is it me or are you just repeating everything I say?"

"Repeating everything you say?" Emmett said in the same tone as Alice. She glared at him before looking back at me. I just offered her a sweet smile and opened the jackets I was wearing as the heat from the vents began making things uncomfortable.

"You promised me an explanation. Though I think I have a good idea what it's about."

I looked to the front of the car and met Rose's eyes in the mirror. Had someone seen the post before we'd had a chance to get it taken care of? Something in Rose's look made the panic subside. She would have surely warned me if they'd found out.

"What do you think you know?"

"Well it has to be something about Charlie and the wolves. That's why I can't see him, right?"

If only it was that simple. I would have been happy if that had been the reason Alice couldn't see him. Sadly it was much worse than that, it was something that couldn't be changed, no matter how much I'd wished it over the past couple of years.

"This goes no further than the car, Alice. I'm serious about this. If you don't think you can keep quiet about this tell me now. I will explain to the others eventually but I want to deal with one thing at a time."

She gave me an incredulous look that said I should know better. Maybe I should, but our friendship had been severed six years ago. She may not have changed, but I had, which would mean we'd need to actually interact to begin to get to know one another again. I hadn't made it easy for her, but I was hoping maybe this would give us some common ground.

"You can't see my dad because he was murdered."

He gasp was followed by hollow silence in the car. The only person who seemed to be breathing was me; and even then is was fragmented and broken, as it always was when I talked about my dad. Looking at Alice, I had the distinct feeling that if she could have cried, she would have been. Her bottom lip seemed to tremble and her tiny hands were balled into fists. It really wasn't helping the lump in my own throat if I was being honest. She looked devastated.

"The wolves?" she whispered, looking over at me with a heartbreaking expression.

"No. They were the ones that protected us for the years before that. It was V– Victoria." I hated that I couldn't say the bitches name without stuttering. I hated that she still had that effect on me. I hated her for existing most of the time. If she could become human for just a couple of hours I would have happily ripped out her heart with my bare hands. However, she wasn't human and I wasn't a murderer. That was her territory.

I turned my attention back to Alice and watched as she tried, and failed, to compose herself. It wasn't what she'd been expecting to hear. I could see that in the way her eyes reflected her pain. She looked at me, so shyly I couldn't help my reaction. I opened my arms and wrapped them around her, as she folded herself around me and shook her head in disbelief. I couldn't help yet another line of tears from escaping as her body shook against mine in a tearless sob.

As heartless as it seemed, this was why I hadn't told her before we'd left. I knew how close she and my dad had been and I hadn't wanted to hit her with that and walk away, leaving her to deal with the aftermath. Selfishly, I also hadn't wanted the emotional onslaught on top of what I had been about to do.

"I am so sorry, Bella. We should have been there. We never should have left. We should have known she'd do something. Edward had been so sure that–"

"Alice!" Rosalie warned. Her tone was brutal and filled with finality.

"What? We don't mention his name now?"

"That's not the point and you know it. You're meddling."

I wasn't sure what I was more interested in. Hearing what she had to say at the end of that sentence, or trying _not_ to think about Edward. I'd thought about him too much already, especially after the discussion in the plane. I still wasn't ready to face him and finally let him finish a sentence. I didn't want to let him in, because I didn't want to fall into the same pattern of him deciding what was best for me. It was a petty thought, but that was basically the crux of it. I wasn't ready. I didn't know when I would be.

"I just can't believe this. When?" She asked, ignoring the two vampires in the front seat, and sitting back so she could see my face.

"Almost two years ago."

"Is that why you left your mom?"

I nodded in confirmation. "I couldn't let her become a target like my dad had. It wasn't safe, V– Victoria wants me dead, and I know she's going to keep hurting those I love until I give up. It got really hard, and I was at a real low and that's when I met Luke. He was the one that introduced me to heroin."

"It makes more sense now. I guess that's why you made the decision to come with us. To stop her from getting to the guy at the club, because you cared about him."

"That and I was tired of looking over my shoulder. I knew while I was with you I could get better and not have to worry about her finding me."

"So it was nothing to do with Edward?"

"I'm sorry, but no."

The interior of the car fell in to silence, and I settled back in my seat. I hated how it had made me feel to admit that I just needed a break from my vampiric stalker, but it was the truth. I'd realized that no matter where I went I wouldn't have had a chance to get clean, because I was too concerned that she would have stumbled onto my path and caught me at my most vulnerable. There had been a weak moment where I almost considered just giving up and letting her find me, but it wouldn't have solved anything.

Staying with the Cullens had its own set of problems that I was consciously ignoring for the moment, but they weren't going to stay that way forever. I could only avoid them for so long until it became a combustible mess that would blow up in my face. I would deal with that when the time came, for that moment, all I wanted to do was sleep and lick my wounds, and hope that the craving that was beginning to eat me alive would finally abate and give me a chance to regroup.

* * *

**Authors Note: **So Alice finally knows! *winks* And I'm sure that things will eventually come out in time. At least she finally admitted she still loves Edward, even if she doesn't really like him at the minutes. I'm afraid I went with my own version of Rose and Emmett's past and I hope you can forgive me for that.

Thank you all for the reading, and for the amazing reviews. I really hate not being able to respond, but the truth is if some of these chapters hadn't been written in advance I probably wouldn't have them done either and I hate doing that to you guys! You've all been super patient with me and I love hearing what you have to say. I will try and answer any questions y'all have.

Thanks to PinkIndeed for being amazing and just as patient! Love you!

Hev99, and Sabi'sSookie... There are no words ladies! You already know... September!

**MWAH!**


	20. Chapter 20: New Adventures

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 20: New Adventures**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

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_Here it comes  
__The unavoidable sun weighs my head,  
__And what the hell have I done,  
__And you know,  
__I don't remember a thing_

_**The Sun by The Naked and Famous**_

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The reception at the house was warmer than I'd expected, and everyone but Edward greeted us. I could tell from just looking at him that he was pissed as hell. The moment he seemed to determine we were safe; he left and disappeared upstairs without so much as a hello. When I looked at Alice, she was watching his back, her head shaking a little in sadness. They'd always been close, and I was trying to avoid having their family pick sides. Rose and Emmett had made their own decisions, but I didn't want there to be animosity between their family members over me.

Tanya had been exuberant at my return, and had declared that if I'd been able to go out with Emmett, then my going out with her should not be an issue anymore. As much as I loved the idea, my bed was calling me, and I fully intended on accepting its invitation. It had been a quick trip, but it had been emotional one, and I just wanted to wipe the slate clean.

After reassuring everyone I was fine. I climbed the stairs with my bags to the landing and stopped in front of Edward, who was leaning in his doorframe. I offered him a smile, but when all I received in response was a scowl, I gave up and made my way toward the maze of halls that led to my room. That was my olive branch. If he was going to ignore it... well I was getting good at taking hints.

"That was irresponsible, Bella," he finally said, making me stop mid step and turn to face him.

"But it was _my_ choice to make. I'm not a prisoner here, Edward."

"Then why sneak away when no one was looking?"

"Because it was an impulsive decision. You know, that pesky little spontaneity. I wasn't aware there was a form I had to fill in to walk out of the front door."

Edward took a step forward and I stood my ground, my eyes meeting his. This was the first time we'd had eye contact since he'd found me in Vegas. No matter how much I hated myself for it, I admitted that I'd missed them. It hadn't been just the color, but the beautiful almond shape too. There was normally warmth radiating from them, so the cool glare was a little unnerving. I was sure he was meeting the same iciness in mine.

"No one said you had to check in and out, it's just common courtesy to let someone know you're leaving."

"Rosalie knew."

"Well, then I stand corrected. I'm glad you're safe." He turned around and headed back to his room. I was a little confused as I stared at his back. I'd been waiting for him to ask where I'd been and why I'd gone, but there was nothing; just his steely reprimand for lack of manners.

"Goodnight," I said quietly.

"Night, Bella."

I turned back to the hall and weaved my way through it to my room, where I fell face first onto the bed and tried not to think about what had just happened. I'd been so prepared for an argument, and for the first time since he'd come back into my life, there wasn't one. Was he angry? Or did he just not care anymore? Was there a chance that he was beginning to understand that I needed to make my own decisions and accept that?

I stripped down to my underwear and crawled under the covers, kicking the backpack of the bed as I flicked off the lights and settled down into the darkness. I'd thought the mulling over Edward's behavior would keep me up, but before I could finish the thought, I'd been asleep.

. . .

I woke up the next morning feeling more human than I had in a while. My trip to Forks, though disastrous in its own right, had done me some good after all. I had stepped into that house, and the scene there had eased me a little. The dreams had still been there, but the intensity had dulled slightly. It was the first time in years I hadn't woken up sweaty and panicked without the aid of heroin. It gave me hope that I could maybe work around it in the future, because I knew I would never forget it.

I sat up in the comfortable bed and stumbled out of the blankets and into the bathroom, where I preceded to do my morning routine of shower, teeth and hair, among other things. It was only when I stumbled back into my room without my towel that I remembered the exchange with Edward the night before. It was still perplexing to me. I just wasn't sure how to take it. The only thing I could do was drop it, there really wasn't much more of an option beyond that.

I dressed quickly and skipped down to the kitchen to make myself breakfast. As much as I appreciated Esme cooking for me, I felt it was time for me to do it myself. I wasn't a child or an invalid, and it wasn't fair to take up all of her time. Unfortunately, by the time I got downstairs, breakfast was already being served.

"Good morning." Esme sang as I entered the kitchen. She was already plating the food, and handed it to me with a kiss on the cheek.

"Morning." I replied stunned by the affection I'd just received. As close as we'd becoming, this was a new development. I wasn't complaining. It actually felt like I was part of the family. "You didn't have to make me breakfast, but I appreciate it."

"I heard your shower. I know that it was a long day with all the traveling yesterday, and I doubt you remembered to eat while you were gone."

She was right. I hadn't eaten since I'd left the house that morning. I hadn't even thought about food while I'd been gone, but the mention of it seemed to make my stomach growl in fury at the neglect, which in turn had Esme pushing me to the table to eat.

Esme moved around the kitchen cleaning up the mess while I watched and supplied my stomach with enough food to finally sate the angry beast it was quickly becoming. I was finally keeping everything I ate in my body. For a while it hadn't been pretty. I'd known it could happen, but I was glad it had passed. I just hoped it meant my body was accepting food as a replacement to the drugs I'd been using as a supplement. Maybe then it wouldn't crave it so much.

"Where is everyone this morning?" I asked between bites. For someone who didn't eat, Esme made amazing food. It always tasted good, and I was becoming gluttonous.

"Edward, Jasper and Alice went to Anchorage to do some shopping–"

I raised my hands over my head in triumph and smiled at her. "Dodged that bullet."

She laughed airily, and shook her head at my antics before continuing.

"Rose and Emmett went hunting, Carlisle is at the small clinic in the closest town. Laurent and Irina went to his cabin further up the mountain, and the others are milling about somewhere."

It wasn't perfect. It meant I had entirely too much time on my hands to think about what had happened the previous day. I hadn't given myself much of an opportunity since we'd left, and it wasn't something I relished, but I knew myself. I knew my own mind. I would analyze it to death, roll it over and flog it until there was no thing left. I still wouldn't have any kind of peace even after that. I just wasn't sure how I could distract myself until the edges weren't so raw.

The truth was, the conversation I'd had with Emmett in the plane really hadn't helped either. I'd finally admitted that my foolish heart still hadn't let go of Edward. That it never had. How masochistic could one person be? Talk about flogging a dead horse. The worst part about all of that was I still resented the hell out of him, and he... Well, I didn't know what he thought. I hadn't let him say more than three words to me in one sentence. Unfortunately, no matter what I felt, I couldn't ever see it working as it once had. Even if there was a chance he actually had changed his mind, which was unlikely. The truth was, I wasn't the same person I had been, and he seemed unchanging.

Before I could wash my dish, Esme took it from me and steered me out of the kitchen, something I barely noticed considering how lost in thought I was.

I wasn't sure why this was so stuck in my head, because I wasn't sure that I wanted anything to change. I seemed to suffer failure after failure and I wasn't entirely sure that I was capable of dropping my guard and even letting someone in, especially not someone who had broken me so entirely. It was inevitable that I would stop being such a bitch eventually, but I couldn't see anything beyond that. There was too much between the two of us.

I needed to let go, and I needed to move on.

Six years was too long to hold onto someone in the obsessive way I had been gripping onto the memory of what Edward had meant to me, and how he'd made me feel, or the way I felt about myself while I was with him. There didn't even seem to be an attraction between the two of us anymore. There had been a time when he'd touched me and I'd feared I would burst into flames. Admittedly, I hadn't let him get close enough to touch me, but the static charged air wasn't there either.

I ran my hands through my hair as I threw myself into the couch. I was going to drive myself crazy if I was left alone much longer. I hadn't even touched on the subject of Jacob and my head was ready to explode.

"There you are."

"Here I am," I said, looking up at Tanya and smiling playfully. She threw herself onto the couch next to me and tucked her legs under her as she evaluated my mood with her sharp eyes. She was kind of freaky in that respect. She didn't have a gift like Jasper, and she couldn't read minds like Edward's. Rose had described it as closely as she could. She'd said it was akin to her reading auras. I could imagine mine was black as night.

"You need a distraction."

Maybe she could read minds.

"I have just the thing for you. Eleazar has found some poachers camping up on the mountain, and we're about to go and have some fun. It's not dangerous, I promise. What do you think?"

"What does it entail?"

She grinned wickedly and touched the tip of my nose with her finger. "I'm going to teach you how to be a succubus."

I laughed and shook my head. "Two problems with that. I'm not a vampire, and wrapped in three tons of clothing does not spell out sexy. My stalking would look more like waddling."

"That's because you don't have the right tools for the job."

"Okay, I'll bite. What else? Doesn't the Succubus sleep with their victims?"

Tanya giggled and chucked my chin. Somehow she managed to achieve it without being condescending.

"You have so much to learn my sweet, Bella. Yes, traditionally we like to seduce our prey, and that would generally lead to draining them dry, but that's not what this exercise is about. We're simply doing the luring this time, get them all hot and bothered before scaring the living shit out of them so they don't come back. Campers are a hassle but we don't bother them. Poachers, however, well they're encroaching on our territory and seeing as we hunt the same area, the last thing we want is to be shot at, even if we are impervious."

"How often have you done this?"

"A few times." She grinned. "Now come with me and we'll find you a outfit worthy of your inner snow bunny."

I followed her to a room I hadn't been in before. It was cavernous. I'd thought the room I'd been in was huge but it was nothing compared to what this had going on. One wall was floor to ceiling windows that looked out over the forest that flowed off the bottom of the mountain. The other three were covered with expensive art; that mostly seemed to be depictions of Succubus, Sirens, and any other sexual mythical creatures. To say they embraced what they were was most definitely an understatement. The bed looked custom made and sunk into the floor, if I'd had to hazard a guess I would have said at least twenty people could fit in the damn thing. For people who didn't sleep... Well I didn't want to imagine what actually happened in it.

"I love this room."

"It was built as a second living room. The downstairs was supposed to be the more formal version, but we made some alterations and made it into something far more exciting. I tried to lure Edward in here once."

"You did?"

"Sweetheart, I had a crush that was bordering on obsession. I figured out later that it was because he'd said no that I pursued him so... Eagerly. I had centuries of getting my own way. Then came along that little bastard, and the tables were turned."

"How long did you try?"

"A decade," she said with a smirk. "Believe me, the harder I tried, the faster he ran. He'd always been that way. Then he came up here saying he'd met his singer. I have to admit, I was jealous, especially when I found he'd pursued you even against his own will. I hope you don't take offense, but I couldn't understand what it was that had him so enamored. Then I met you."

"Thanks, I think?" I offered, my smile wide. I'd known it was a compliment. Tanya didn't waste time dancing around things.

"It's a compliment. Lets just say if I ever get bored with men, you'd better watch that tail of yours."

There was a groan from the door and I turned to find Kate with her head in her hands.

"I embarrass her when I say such things," Tanya said with a delicate snort. "After centuries together you would have thought she'd be used to it."

"How can I be used to it? You're what they call a horn-dog. You think with your libido."

"I'm not seeing your point, dearest."

"You wouldn't." Kate laughed, stepping inside and closing the door behind her. "Irina and Laurent will be meeting us on the mountain. Carmen and Eleazar are already on their way up there."

Kate started stripping off her clothes and stalked toward a closest that resembled the size of my room. My time at the club had more than desensitized my reaction to something like this, so when Tanya prodded me in the same direction, I didn't hesitate. The two of them dressed quickly, and then turned on me, both of them giving me instructions on what to do as they worked. By the time they were finished I actually blended in with them, even the bags under my eyes had disappeared.

"You're a vision. Now, before Mr. Pissy Pants has a conniption, why don't we go and let Esme know we're heading up the mountain with you."

"You heard that last night?" I asked as I followed them out of the room and through the corridor to the main stairs that led to the lower floor. It hadn't really been something I'd wanted anyone to hear, but it was just another part of living with vampires.

Tanya just smiled apologetically and led the way into the library, where Esme was curled up in a seat by the huge bay windows. Out of the whole house, this was my favorite room, and it made sense to me that it would be Esme's as well. She was the most genteel of all of the vampires. She was always looking for ways to keep her family together and happy.

"Es, honey. Kate and I are going up the mountain with Bella. We just wanted to let someone know."

Esme looked up from her book and glanced at me, her eyes bouncing back once she noted what I was wearing. She gave me a smile and I nodded, a silent exchange that I had consented to their trip and it wasn't coercion. I actually loved that she was offering me a way out of this little adventure.

"Well have fun."

"Oh we will," Tanya said, leaving no room for doubt that there was trouble afoot. Esme shot us an "_I don't want to know_" look before I was herded from the room and tucked neatly into a fitted ski jacket that was a far cry from the one I had been using. It hugged my body, accentuating curves while still functioning to keep me warm.

Even when I stepped out into the overcast day, I could barely feel the lick of the cold air as it danced around me. After this I was going to refuse to do my abominable snowman routine. There was just no need for that many layers.

"I'm going to carry you." Tanya announced rather than asked. Before I could accept or deny I was over her shoulder, the wind hitting my ass as the ground below me became a blurred white that forced me to close my eyes. If this wasn't undignified, I didn't know what was.

I could feel the air thinning around us the higher we climbed, my chest felt heavier with the breaths I was taking and my ears popped somewhere between the beginning and the end of our journey. What idiot would camp this far up was beyond me, but I kept my mouth shut and my eyes closed until I was unceremoniously dumped to my feet.

"You can open your eyes now." Kate whispered, her hand patting my shoulder. I honestly wasn't so sure, I felt a little off balance, and a lot nauseous. Rather than being the feeble human, I took her advice and almost lost what little breath I had.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Tanya sighed happily. "This is my favorite place to come and hunt. The view inspires me."

I could see why. The snowcapped trees spread out over the carpet of white as far as the eye could see. In the distance there were more mountains, and mingled somewhere there were small houses that looked tiny from this vantage point. I couldn't even see the cabin from where I was stood, but I supposed that was the point of its design and where it was located. Vampires were private creatures after all. Their home was their castle. The only place they were free to be themselves.

"That's one word for it," I finally said. "I can see why you'd come here."

"Why did you bring, Bella?" An accented voice asked from behind me. I turned to see Laurent with his arm around Irina, who was dressed similar to the three of us. "They have guns, Tanya."

"I'm more than aware of that, Laurent. This isn't my first rodeo."

"But it is Bella's."

Tanya stalked toward him like a predatory cat ready to pounce. Her hand planted on her hips as she stopped in front of him. She was much shorter than Laurent, but I had no doubt she would dismantle him before he'd known it was coming. Her exterior package was nothing, if not misleading. Rosalie had told me stories of how people had underestimated her because of her size. All I could say was I was more than happy to be on her good side.

"Do you honestly think I would let anything happen to her? My life wouldn't be worth living. She's going to work with us to herd them to you and Eleazar. Hopefully they won't bring their guns, but she will be well out of the way for the fun part."

Laurent looked unhappy, but nodded anyway, his eyes flicking to me before they fixated on his beautiful mate next to him. She whispered something to him and he nodded and kissed her reverently. It was weird to see that from someone I feared so much.

"Where's Carmen?"

"Here, querida," Carmen said in an amused tone.

"Okay ladies, lets do this."

I followed the other four women into the forest. It was easy considering they were running at human speeds. We were laughing and chattering away like we didn't have a care in the world, we were supposed to be a group of friends on vacation and had managed to get lost in the forest. It really wasn't hard to imagine considering how fresh faced most of the women looked.

I was hanging in the back, just watching them as I followed in silence. The closer we came to executing this plan, the more nervous I felt. As we loped into the clearing at the top of the mountain, I saw just two men sitting around a fire, in the snow behind them laid a black bear and a huge moose. The snow around them tinged pink.

"Oh." Tanya sputtered as the men rose to their feet. "We're sorry, we're looking for the path."

She stared stepping backward, tugging on Kate's hand as though she were ready to get the hell out of there. The truth was, anyone that stumbled on poachers would be terrified. We'd seen their faces while they'd been doing something highly illegal. Men or not, if they thought that they'd be caught, I doubted they would hesitate to add us to the illegal hunting regime at the business end of their guns.

"Hold up there. You got no reason to be afraid, girl. We got us some permits."

I highly doubted that. Especially considering they were in a State Park. No one would have issued a hunting license when there were tourists in the area. By my estimation, the guy had taken the three blondes as a sign of our intelligence. I was beginning to see just how accurate Tanya and Kate had been in their explanations.

I'd played a similar game in reverse for my last employer. I could scope out a man who was desperate for attention a mile away, and I exploited that. Tits and a good ass could make even the smartest man think with his smaller head. It wasn't hard to see that smart could never be associated with these two men, and I wasn't the only one who noticed.

"You have an accent." Tanya giggled, her finger trailing a path from her neck to her cleavage.

"We're from down south. You like an accent, darlin'?"

Tanya nibbled on her lip and grinned.

"Who do you have with you, sugar?" The second man asked. Stumbling forward, a bottle of beer in his hand.

Tanya started at the opposite end with Carmen.

"Well we have Maria, Tina, Melissa, I'm Georgina, and this," she said, reaching back and pulling me up beside her. "Is Trinity."

Hunter number two gave me a once over, his eyes wide as he drank me in from head to foot. I'd been ogled with far less clothing on in my life, yet I felt violated by his beady eyes. He stumbled forward again and slapped his buddy in the chest with the back of his hand.

"Dude, do you recognize her?"

Hunter number one gave me the same assessment.

"Ho doggy, I believe I do. You live in Vegas, baby girl?"

Fuck me running. I saw Tanya eye me curiously, her smile even wider. I could hear what she was thinking without trying. Her look said it all.

"I do." I purred, it wasn't following their plan but I was improvising. It couldn't get much worse; it was already a five-alarm disaster. It was truly my luck that I would meet some idiots on the top of a mountain and them recognize me. This surely couldn't happen to anyone else.

"You failed to tell us you were famous." Tanya giggled.

"Oh she's famous alright," hunter two said, taking a swig of his beer. "Anybody that's been to Vegas in the last two years would know those eyes anywhere."

"Oh come now, her eyes?" Tanya snorted. "You're telling me that she's half naked up on stage and you notice her eyes?"

"I was being polite, sugar."

Tanya looked at me, her eyelashes fluttering. Both she and Kate had told me that they would take care of luring the men away from the camp, but I knew this interest in me meant I was going to be expected to do some luring of my own. I was the only one that seemed to be keeping the attention of Hunter two, and though the though of going into the forest alone with him, while my back up was probably Laurent, didn't give me much confidence, I knew it was the only option I had. It would have been easier if I'd trusted my backup, but I couldn't put Laurent on that list.

"Well, how about you and me take a walk?" I asked, cocking my hip and twirling the ends of my hair.

"Trinity, are you sure about that?" Carmen asked. I could see the thought didn't make her any more comfortable than it made me.

"You could join us, you pretty little thing. Make one of my fantasies come true."

"Nothing would make me happier," Carmen said in a husky voice that had the guy unattractively clawing at his crotch.

She skipped toward me, her arm linking through mine. I shot her a look that clearly said: "Thank you!" before we led the way into the forest, and the waiting vampire that was supposed to put the fear of God into the man. Somehow, I liked this plan less and less the further it moved along.

* * *

**Authors Note: **Not a terribly exciting chapter, but I wanted to introduce Tanya a little more and how she interacted with Bella. Though Bella didn't question the singer comment, I don't honestly believe that has any sway in how Edward feels about her because she's convinced herself that he wasn't interested in her anymore.

Once again I would like to apologize for lack of RR's, believe me if I had a chance to do them I would. Life is crazy busy at the moment and though I would like to wait to post so I can respond, I'm not sure how long that would take so I feel posting and not responding is probably the better choice at the moment.

Thank you all for reading, adding to favorites and alerts, and of course for your amazing reviews. I love you all so much for putting so much thought into them. You stun and honor me with your words. I hope you know how much I love and appreciate you all.

To PinkIndeed. You know how much I adore you! Thank you for being you and for knowing that I am still here and nothing has changed. Love you chick!

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie. I love you both more than I know how to express. I just hope you know that.

**MWAH!**


	21. Chapter 21: Best Laid Plans

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 21: Best Laid Plans**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_I just lost the plot, got a little caught  
__In a little knot  
__I just hit a wall had a little fall  
__Felt the swinging wrecking ball_

_**Stuck by Norah Jones**_

* * *

"So, what brings you ladies to Alaska?" Hunter two asked as he followed us through the quiet copse of trees. I had no earthly idea where we were going, but I knew that Carmen would us to Eleazar, so it gave me a little more peace of mind.

"Sorority trip. We wanted to do something different," Carmen said in her sweetest voice. "It's just so big up here."

"You ain't seen big yet, sweetheart."

I swallowed my snort of laughter and tried to compose myself.

"Por el amor de todos los santos." Carmen muttered under her breath. I had no idea what she'd just said, but I had a feeling it had been close to my reaction, her intonation had said it all. "Usted tiene que ser burles de mí."

"That's right baby girl." The guy cooed behind us, obviously as oblivious as I was to the translation.

Carmen clicked her tongue and leaned in closer to me. She spoke so quietly that I almost missed it.

"I'm sorry you're a part of this, Bella. You run when I tell you to."

I nodded in agreement. Even though I wasn't sure what I was running from or what the hell was going to happen next. Tanya hadn't exactly been clear on how they were going to be scaring the guys. She'd assured me that I would be somewhere safe while they did their thing. Considering how the fun trip thus far had gone anything but to plan, I wasn't going to count on being evacuated. So it was up to me to hit the ground running.

I was waiting for her order to run so intently; I missed the guy behind me, approaching. It wasn't until he'd wrapped himself around me with his lips on my neck that I suddenly realized it was up to me to get away from him as well. I relaxed into his grip, and leaned back against his chest as he tried to slide his hand into the top of my sweater. The stale smell of alcohol on his breath was not pretty at all, but I forced myself to relax in his grip.

"Woah there buddy." I sang sweetly. "There's a way to do this."

"Yeah, and it's getting you naked."

"Classy." Carmen said distastefully.

"What would you suggest?" He slurred, his breath leaving another stank trail over my cheek.

"How about Trinity and I show you," she said, tugging me out of his grip. "We're ladies."

Hunter two didn't release his grip on me. For some reason he seemed to think his luck was about to run out and wasn't risking losing the opportunity to get freaky with a stripper and a hot Spaniard. It wouldn't have surprised me if this were the best he'd seen. Granted he wasn't too unfortunate in the looks department, but the smell of him was enough to make my breakfast roil in my gut.

"Let me go, big guy. I'm not going anywhere."

"You think I'm stupid, sugar tits?"

"I hadn't, but my opinion is changing rapidly."

His hand closed around my throat as he growled his displeasure. I could see Carmen baring her teeth at him, but the truth was, I was pissed off enough for the both of us. As much as I couldn't fend off an attack from a vampire, it didn't mean I hadn't picked up a thing or two in the club. There were some grabby customers that you just had to take care of for yourself.

I slammed my heel into his instep and spun out of his grip as he howled out his displeasure. The split second of surprise had meant I'd managed to get free, and now I was facing him like a bear with a sore head. Balling my fist, I threw a punch and actually managed to land it with minimal damage to myself.

"You fucking bitch. You broke my nose."

"That's not all I'll break if you grab me again you asshole."

I turned and started walking away from him, but I heard Carmen's gasp and stopped in my tracks, slowly turning around to see what had created the reaction in her. I almost wished I hadn't. He was holding a small handgun that was pointed directly at me. I could see Carmen trying to figure out how she could knock his gun off course, but he was already primed with his finger on the trigger. One move could mean life or death for me. No matter how fast she moved to stop it.

"So you're ready to go from poacher to murderer?" I asked calmly.

"Don't push your luck sweetheart."

Pushing my luck? That was based on the assumption that I had luck to push. I swear this was fates way of laughing at me. The only human in a routine scare, as Tanya had said, and I had a gun pulled on me.

A bloodcurdling scream came from somewhere in the forest, and for a moment I though I would have the opportunity to run, but the guy didn't sway. He stayed still, eyes and gun trained on me.

"Hank?" He shouted. The sound of his voice echoed around the forest but the sentiment wasn't returned. "Hank. Where you at buddy?"

There was no response to be had, and there was nothing moving. Not even the wind seemed to dare to run through the space. I was so focused on the guy in front of me that I couldn't even see Carmen, even though I knew she was there.

My breathing was shallow and fast as my heart pounded blood and adrenaline through my body. This was supposed to be a distraction, and while it worked, it wasn't exactly what I'd had in mind when I'd agreed to join Tanya and the others in scaring off some harmless poachers.

"Where's Hank? What did you bitches do to him?"

"Nothing."

"A man don't scream like that for nothin'."

We stared one another down. The truth was I didn't know what had happened to his friend. I didn't know what had happened to our friends. I just knew I had a gun pointed at my forehead, and the man holding it was getting nervous. It wasn't a good combination to be had, even less desirable was the fact I was the only one who wouldn't survive being shot.

They say that when you're about to die, your life flashes before you. I was stood frozen on the spot, and all I could think was: _I'm not ready_. I didn't do any of the things I wanted to do. There was none of my past, none of my regrets, just a sadness that I wouldn't ever get to finish the thoughts I'd been so eager to push off until later.

"Hank?"

There was still no response, and I could see the guy glancing at Carmen who'd edged closer to him. The tension in his arms went rigid as I saw the decision flash behind his eyes. He was going to shoot and there was nothing that would change his mind. Self-preservation had kicked in. As his finger squeezed, I closed my eyes, the crack of the gun sounding off clearly.

I hit the snow hard, every ounce of air knocked out of me as my body hit and something hard landed on me in a dead weight. Unsure of what had happened, and lacking any pain whatsoever, my eyes burst open. I fought to get oxygen inside me, and was surprised to see Laurent staring down at me, concern written plainly on his features.

"Are you hurt?" He demanded, and I shook my head in the negative. Other than his weight pinning me to the ground, I felt nothing.

He was gone before I could even blink and I sat up as the hunter aimed the gun at Laurent running at human speed toward him. He fired, and the scream left my lips before I could even think about the fact that the bullet would do nothing to injure the vampire.

Laurent tackled him to the ground in a growl, as Carmen arrived next to me in a blink. She searched me for injury, but there was nothing to find. Laurent had pushed me out of its path. Laurent had saved my life. I just wasn't sure what surprised me more; that the hunter had shot, or that Laurent had deemed me worth saving.

"Bella?" Tanya was in the clearing and by my side before she'd even registered in my line of sight.

"I'm fine."

"You were almost shot," Carmen said, contradicting my statement.

"But I wasn't. Honestly, I'm fine. Just help me up would you?"

The two women stood and grabbed a hand each and hauled me to my feet. They both started brushing the snow off me, speaking so quickly I wasn't even sure it was English.

"I'm sorry. I should never have included you in this. I didn't think. You could have been killed."

I shook my head. Now that I didn't have a gun aimed at me, clarity filtered in to my consciousness. Yes, I could have been killed, and that was... Terrifying. However, I was alive, unharmed, and I didn't even have a bruise to show for the experience. Their panic wasn't necessary.

"Stop it. I'm fine. Laurent was there, that's all that matters."

"Easy for you to say, you're not going to be murdered by Rosalie and Emmett," Tanya said, shaking her head.

"Neither are you. Because they're not going to find out."

Both of the woman stared at me as though I'd grown a third head. I realized that it would be hard for them to hide this from Edward. One thought and he would hear it, but as long as they avoided thinking about it, then there wouldn't be a problem. This was my mistake. I'd pissed the guy off and goaded him. I'd also broken his nose. If that wasn't instigation then I wasn't quite sure what was. The situation had been deflected, I was unharmed, and Laurent had knocked the hunter out. Everything was fine.

"Bella we can't hide this."

"I'm not asking you too. I'm not even asking you to lie. I'm just saying don't bring it up."

"It's still a lie by omission," Laurent said, his tall figure joining our small group.

I threw my hands up in the air and started pacing. I didn't want the Cullens to find out, because I didn't want to be wrapped in bubble wrap, and I didn't want Tanya and the others to take the fall. As much as I realized that it was a lie in its own right, I couldn't see it hurting. It was the three of them and me. No one else needed to know.

"Thank you, Laurent," I said stopping. I turned to face him and offered him a smile. The level of trust between us had grown exponentially since he'd taken a bullet for me. I felt it would have been easier for him to let me die if he was working with Victoria. He certainly wouldn't have been implicated in it.

He smiled in return, but said nothing.

"We can't hide this, Bella. You know the moment we walk in that house Edward will be listening so he'll know what happened."

"Then we tell him the truth. I just don't see the point of worrying everyone."

"He will make my life miserable," Tanya said with a sigh.

"It will be all the more miserable if he finds out we've lied to him." Carmen hissed.

This was getting us all nowhere. I didn't want to be confined to the house because of one little hiccup. Okay, so it wasn't so little, but at the same time the crisis was averted and it was over. The ending could have been much different, but the truth was I was alive, and unharmed.

"It is only the four of us who know what truly happened," Laurent said, his accent heavy. "I would perhaps agree that we should explain had there been more of us to see the incident. We're all capable of deviating our thoughts. For example, I am more fixated on the fact that young Bella punched the man in his face."

"You saw that?"

Laurent nodded. "I was waiting for him to lower his weapon, I didn't want to make the situation worse. The only way I could interject was for him not to see me."

"I have to admit, I will be more likely to be thinking of that." Carmen laughed, the sound almost musical.

"And I wasn't here for anything but the aftermath," Tanya said.

"And he can't get in my head."

"Carmen?" Eleazer called. The four of us looked at one another in confirmation and nodded our agreement.

"Over here, my love."

When Eleazar appeared from the forest with the others, I couldn't help but laugh. I was finally finding out how they scared poachers to death. He was wearing a bear pelt that seemed to perfectly replicate the one the poachers had shot. It would certainly explain the scream we'd heard.

"That's how you scare poachers?" I asked, the laughter bubbling out of me.

"Talking bears? Yes. It's juvenile, but it works."

"By the sound of the scream you'd think that you'd removed his kidneys."

"You'd be surprised at some of the reactions we've received," Eleazar said, his arms wrapping around his wife and pulling her close. She ran her fingers through the fur and scrunched her nose up. "What happened here?"

"He had a concealed weapon and shot at poor Laurent," Tanya said easily, patting her brother-in-law on the shoulder. "He was most impressive."

"I dislike the shooters." Irina sighed as she approached. She fingered the round hole in Laurent's shirt and hugged him close. None of them seemed to question the fact that the man was laying unconscious, or that I was covered in snow. They just started chatting away as they dragged the two hunters back to their tent. Arranging the scene as though they'd been attacked by the animals used to scare them. I wasn't sure hunter two would fall for that, but I was certain Hank would think it was a nightmare.

"They recognized Bella from the club in Vegas." Kate whispered as Eleazar zipped up the tent.

"All the better. They will believe that this was all a dream. Why would someone they lusted after in sin city be on a mountain top in Alaska?"

"True, but what about the broken nose?"

"Human's have a way of making the story fit. Now, I'm sure Bella is ready to eat, so perhaps you should take her home, while Laurent and I make sure they were spooked enough to leave."

Everyone seemed to agree. Including me. I was ready for a nap, the burst of adrenaline had wiped me clean and I was dead on my feet. It wasn't until I was about to be thrown over Tanya's shoulder again that I realized the one chink in our master plan.

"Alice!" I said her name like it was the dirtiest I'd ever spoken, and though the girls all looked at me, it was Tanya and Carmen that it registered with. She would have seen every decision I'd made, she would have seen every disaster that had happened, and she was _with_ Edward.

"Joder!"

I didn't need a translation on that one. It was more than clear what Carmen had just said. I echoed it in my head. I should have known it wouldn't be that easy. I was certain that she'd seen what had happened and Edward had more than likely seen it through her. It wasn't encouraging.

"Too late to think about it now." Tanya growled, hoisting me over her shoulder. "Lets get back and face the firing squad."

"What are you talking about?" Kate asked, but Tanya had already taken off down the mountain with me gripping the back of her jacket for dear life.

As much as I wanted this to go away, it was impossible to make a mistake with vampires around. I appreciated their policy of honesty, but I had to say this was not improving my mood. It was too much to hope that Alice had been preoccupied, and hoping Edward hadn't been with her was a bust. Maybe it was best if I holed up in the house and just let the time pass, because every time I stepped out, another disaster occurred.

I knew we were fucked the moment I was set on my own two feet and saw Alice blocking the door with her arms crossed over her chest. I looked at Tanya who shrugged at me. Alice stayed where she was for only a second before trotting down the stairs and walking past me.

"We need to talk."

I'm sure we did, I thought as my shoulders slumped and I turned to follow her back into the forest. She looked over her shoulder at Tanya and nodded in some silent agreement, which I wasn't privy to. Tanya seemed to visibly relax and headed toward the house leaving me with the firing squad. I followed Alice silently until she stopped and turned on me, her eyes checking me for sign of injury.

"I'm fine, Al."

"You very nearly weren't. You're just lucky I was at the other end of the damn mall from Edward when it happened. He's trying very hard to exercise restraint when it comes to you, Bella, but that was too close of a call."

Say what? I wasn't sure what she meant by exercising restraint, and honestly I wasn't sure I even wanted to go there. Things were already too complicated without digging into the meaning of that. I understood that he was still concerned about my safety, but the truth was, I wasn't his concern.

"It's none of his business, Alice. I appreciate you looking out for me, I do, but this was just a case of wrong place, at the wrong time."

"You were almost _shot_."

"But I wasn't. Sure, I _almost_ got shot, but you know what? I _almost_ gave up when Edward left me. I _almost_ moved in with Jacob. I _almost_ got home before Victoria killed my dad, I _almost _killed myself, and I _almost_ didn't come with you guys. Almost doesn't mean it happened, Alice, believe me."

I knew I was once again taking out my frustration on the wrong target, and I was using my past to prove a point, but I needed people to stop freaking out because of a situation that had happened. I couldn't change making the decision to go with Tanya, I couldn't change the decision to smack that hunter in the face or get shot out.

"I'm an adult, young in comparison to all of you, but I am still legally permitted to make my own decisions. They may not end all that well but I was the one that made the mistake, nobody else. All I'm asking as that you don't jump down my throat every time I choose the wrong path."

"Don't you get it at all?" Alice asked, stepping closer. "The only reason we react the way we do is because we love you. We care about what happens to you, even if you don't."

"You think I don't care? Do you know what went through my head when I saw him start to pull that trigger? I thought about how I wasn't ready to die, Alice. I haven't given up on life, but I am not going to sit around in cotton wool just in case something terrible happens. I could get hit by a bus crossing the street, and it would still be the same situation as it was up there on that mountain. I made a choice and it was a bad one."

She watched me closely. I wasn't sure what she was really looking at. It could have been my future or me, but either way she seemed satisfied about what she saw.

"I didn't tell Edward, and I don't plan to, but with an argument like that he wouldn't win." She shook her head and took a deep, unneeded breath. "Just be careful, if a vampire could have a heart attack I would have been in cardiac arrest."

"Thank you, and I would appreciate it if you didn't mention it to anyone. I know it's a lot to ask, but it will just complicate matters further."

"I hate secrets."

I gave her a smile and hugged her. She deserved it. There was once upon a time she would have gone straight to everyone else before talking to me about it. I knew she cared about me, and I also knew she worried, but like I'd said to her. I needed to make my own mistakes. No matter how much they hurt.

* * *

**Authors note: **A little drama for Bella but things ended up working out. I think she finally discovered who her allies are and whether or not she can trust people. It was very nearly a terrible situation but and unlikely hero stepped in.

Thank you all for reading, adding to alerts and favorites and for the amazing reviews. I feel terrible not replying, because I've always made a habit out of talking back and I like communicating with you, but I had to make a choice; put this story on hiatus so I could do RR's or just keep posting and hope you forgive my rudeness. I hope I made the right choice. I love all of you so much for taking time out of your day to read and let me know what you think. You guys have been so amazing throughout this story. We've still got a long way to go, and I want to thank you for sticking with me.

PinkIndeed, you know I absolutely adore you, I don't know what I would do if you weren't kind enough to be patient with me. I miss you!

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie, you know there are no words that will ever explain how much I adore and love the two of you. I was blessed the days I met the two of you! I love you both! Roll on September...

**MWAH!**


	22. Chapter 22: Long Overdue

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 22: Long Overdue**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_Well you only need the light when it's burning low  
__Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
__Only know your lover when you let her go_

_**Let Her Go by Passenger**_

* * *

Things became a little easier after my talk with Alice. She understood me a little more and came to me with my future rather than deferring to her family. With her, Emmett and Rosalie rallying around me, it helped ease the cravings a little and made life just a little easier for me. I wasn't confined to the house by any means, and as the weeks passed, I found myself enjoying nights out with Tanya in a more normal setting. She took me to her favorite bars, where I was, as far as the bartenders were aware, designated driver, which explained my soda drinking. It was fun to watch her do her thing. She was a natural born flirt, and any guy that didn't look like Grizzly Adams was awarded with her attention, though I had to say, I'd never seen so much plaid in my life.

Things with Edward and I hadn't changed all that much, but there was a level of civility between us. We would smile and greet one another, but there still hadn't been a decent conversation between us. I understood that was my fault. I'd been the one to shut him up every time he had tried between Vegas and Denali, and I couldn't blame him for giving up. I hadn't made it easy for him. Sadly, that didn't mean the epiphany I'd had after Forks was any less prevalent.

I'd tried to move past it. I'd even flirted with a couple of guys in the bars Tanya and I went to. It pleased Tanya to no end, but I just ended up feeling hollow, nothing moved me. Not even a make out session with a particularly hot barman named, Nikolai. He was Russian and absolutely gorgeous. He was tall, with chiseled features and a set of abs I could have washed clothes on. Everything about him attracted me, but staying after hours and sitting on the bar while we played tonsil tennis, I found myself disappointed by the lack of spark between us. Now don't get me wrong, the guy could kiss. The things he did with his tongue were enough to make me try and get past what was lacking, but it was pointless. I left him with Kate, and walked away frustrated that I couldn't move on.

The result of my little experiment just left me more confused and sexually frustrated than I had been before. Tanya had given me that knowing smile as she drove home in, what felt like, an attempt to break the sound barrier. She'd come to know me well, and the two of us meshed well, so the smile just made me brood and flick her off. I was under the impression she knew exactly what my problem was.

Almost three weeks had passed since the disaster on the mountain, and it had been a week since the Nikolai disaster, and my mood was dwindling even further. Tanya had promised we'd go back to the Arctic Fox that night, so I could try again with the handsome Russian, and I was determined to just go for it, sparks or not. At least I would get some of this repressed sexual energy depleted. It was almost as bad as the craving for heroin at times.

I woke up with a wicked bad tickle on my nose and slapped it away, only to hear a giggle as I did.

"Fuck off, T." I grumbled, pulling the blankets over my head.

"Still not into girls, sweetheart, but you'll be the first to know if I change my mind."

"You're so deranged."

I heard her musical lilt of a laugh and gave up, slapping the covers down and glaring at her. If I'd been a Greek God, I was certain she would have been smite by the level of intensity. I'd discovered I wasn't a morning person. At least, not when someone woke my ass up.

"And you love me for it you sexy bitch. I volunteered to come up here and face you. We're all going hunting. You're on your own."

I sat up and rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands and willed my eyes to focus without much luck. I blinked a couple more times and narrowed my eyes at the beautiful blonde to try and bring her fuzzy eyes into a sharper clarity.

"I'll be back before tonight. We're just going up the mountain. We'll get your raging libido taken care off, and we'll get you past all of the other crap too."

I glared at her again, and maturely stuck out my tongue. I was aware she'd figured out my problem, but it was an unspoken rule that we never discussed it. Just like Rose, Alice and Emmett did. Alice knew because of my constant flicker of decisions, Rosalie had caught me watching him, and Emmett was just too damn intuitive for his own good. I seemed to be reacquainting myself with being an open book, and it just served to piss me off further. It was another thing the drugs had taken care of.

"Just enjoy the time alone and explore. There's a closet in the boudoir, I think you may find very interesting."

I threw my pillow at her. The "boudoir" she'd referred to, was the room with the giant sunken bed that I'd been in before the poacher trip up the mountain. The view was amazing, but I'd made the mistake of walking past the place after Tanya had picked up a guy in one of the bars and now steered clear of the place to avoid a repeat performance. I wasn't a prude, but there are just some things you don't need to hear, especially when it paints a very vivid picture.

"Just take it easy. I'll see you tonight." She laughed, leaning forward and kissing my cheek. "And for the love of all that's holy, brush your teeth."

"Bitch." I breathed in her direction as she hopped of the bed and moved toward the door.

She stopped as she opened the door and turned to look at me. She didn't take offense at my name-calling; it had become standard for the two of us. We played off of one another.

"You know that dirty mouth of yours will get you in trouble one day."

"I live in the hopes of that being true. Now go eat."

She waved over her shoulder as she left, and I fell back against the pillows with a sigh that moved my whole body. Today was not a good day to be left alone, and I cursed the woman for planting those kinds of thoughts in my head. Between the cravings for drugs and the cravings for sex, I was beginning to think my head would start spinning.

There was no going back to sleep now that my mind was awake, and from the looks of the light, there was either a blizzard heading in, or it was the ass crack of dawn. Regardless, I dragged my ass out of the bed and into the bathroom to get cleaned up for the day, even though I was sporting sweats and a t-shirt from my former employer. It was crude and tasteless, but I'd always loved it. The cotton was soft and well warn and it hugged my body.

I skipped through the house and down the stairs to the kitchen to make a simple breakfast of toast and coffee, while I tried not to think about just how quiet the house was. Since I'd arrived there'd always been at least one person around. Without any signs of life the huge place felt like a ghost house, even the groans as the wind battered against it seemed to be accentuated in the silence that rang through the place. It was an odd thing to be affected by when I'd spent several years on my own. I hadn't really noticed my new affinity for constant companions, until they all left at once.

This, I had decided, was my first test for myself. The cravings had eased slightly, but they were still there, as constant as the days and nights. I was just distracted enough to push it to the back of my mind when it got to be too much. If I was going to stop this from being a pain in my ass and eating me alive, it seemed clear that my objective should be to distract myself.

Sounded easy in theory.

After doing my own dishes, I wandered through to the library and ran my fingers along the spines of the books. There was a definite mix in this selection. It moved frequently between Russian, English and Spanish, and there was no rhyme or reason to the way it was laid out. I pulled out an English translation of Russian fairy tales and moved to the window seat easing the old leather bound book open. I scanned the pages, without really reading, but kept at it and forced myself to focus on the words I was seeing. I finally fell into the stories and let them pull me out of my reality.

I wasn't sure how long I was sat there reading, but I got through three of the tales before the restlessness set in. My body heat had caused the window to condensate, and I spent another few minutes drawing pictures in the dewy window, before it started to bore me stupid. Drawing a penis was not conducive to ignoring my sexual needs, so I ran my hand across the surface and rubbed the residue on my hand dry on my leg. My attention span still wasn't up to par, and my stomach was reminding me that it needed sustenance.

I made another trip to the kitchen and dug through the refrigerator with nothing in mind. I didn't know what I wanted to eat, which was becoming a theme in my life. Not just for food either. I didn't know what I wanted period.

Even with every attempt to get past this new fixation on Edward, I still found my mind traveling back to him as I stuffed crap between two slices of bread. The anger I'd held onto for all this time was easing slowly, and his keeping his distance had been helpful in that. It made it easier to clear my head without him trying to force his opinions down my throat, but it didn't help with my new confusion of how I felt or what it all meant. It sure as hell didn't help with knowing where he was, or what he was thinking either.

If it hadn't been for Jacob and his stupid comment, I would have been happily oblivious to these feelings. I'd spent so long burying them, and in one heated, insult slinging conversation he'd brought it right back to the surface where it relentlessly battered against my skull. It was much easier being mad at Jacob again. Not just for that, but also for his stupid thoughtlessness that he couldn't even explain.

This new maelstrom of thoughts was decidedly getting me nowhere. I had to find something else to distract me.

Maybe Tanya had a point. I had an itch I needed to scratch. Maybe getting that taken care of would make it easier to sort through my own head without bringing sex into the equation. It couldn't hurt to explore the option. After all, if anyone knew what this was like, it was Tanya. It was how she dealt with the bloodlust. If it could sate that, maybe it could sate my cravings and incessant thoughts.

I once again did my own dishes and headed toward the stairs. I felt like a deviant heading for a den of iniquity. Sex with Jacob had always been something sacred and natural for me, but when I headed to Vegas, it was what it was. Luke had been amazing, he'd always known what he liked and had no problems guiding me and molding me in to what he craved. I was too high to give a shit to be honest. After that, it was just about satisfying my sexual appetite. Sex wasn't dirty or taboo, and I sure as hell wasn't a prude, so this feeling that I was doing something wrong was just bizarre to me. Sure, I hadn't exactly needed to satisfy myself in the past, but that didn't mean it was wrong. I was an adult.

I'd barely made it to the top of the stairs when the door at the top opened and the coppery top of Edward's head appeared in the space. I had never in my life been more thankful that he couldn't read my thoughts than I was in that moment. I looked over the edge of the rail and briefly wondered what I would break if I jumped. It had to be better than the mortification I was feeling. Unfortunately, for me anyway, he'd seen me long before I could even begin to calculate trajectories.

"Hey, I thought everyone was out hunting?" I could hear the accusation in my tone. I was defensive when I was embarrassed. It was another new quirk I'd learned about myself.

"We were, but I got lucky and bored so I came back."

I nodded, and finished climbing the last of the stairs, wondering whether I should continue to the original destination or make a run for my room and hide, before he could figure out my plan of action. Not that it was any of his business or anything.

"Good seeing you." I smiled and meandered toward the boudoir. I was human, so sue me. His appearance hadn't helped in the hormonal overload department. I just had to keep repeating to myself that I was an adult it was perfectly healthy to need a release. Especially when the rest of the house was out. It wasn't my fault he'd come back early.

"Is this really how it's going to be from now on, Bella?" He asked, his velvet voice wrapping around the vowels and consonants indecently making my head swirl. Was it possible to murder one's own traitorous emotions? Again, I was on the defensive, and I had no excuse for my response.

"Maybe we could talk about this later?"

"How much later, Bella. When is a good time? I've been patient, giving you your space. I've said nothing as you've gone out with Tanya and come back smelling like other men. I know you want your independence, and I am trying to do as you've asked, but the fact remains that we _should_ talk."

He was right. I knew he was right. In fact, I'd been waiting for this. I'd expected it. Yet, I couldn't be graceful and forthcoming to save my damn life and I snapped at him. All the sexual frustration and craving for a fix welled up into a conglomerate of nastiness.

"Talk about what? What do we have to say to one another?"

"How about a discussion on what happened all those years ago. What's been going on with you and how you got addicted to heroin? That's a good place to start. Or perhaps–"

I started walking away. I had all the help I needed to exorcise those demons. I still wasn't ready to spill my guts to him. That would need a certain level of trust I just wasn't feeling. I had decided with my mood, it was better just to not say anything and make the situation worse. I turned the corner and headed further down the corridor. When I blinked, Edward was in front of me, his broad shoulders taking up most of the space in my path.

"Fine. I have tried to do this your way, Bella. I think almost two months of silence is a practice in my self-control, but I can't live in this house with you and not be able to talk with you. Do you have any idea how hard it's been for me to see you go through all of this and know I only make it worse, when all I want to do it make it go away?"

"Why?" I pushed out, it was the most civil thing I had managed, which was exactly why I hadn't expounded on the question.

"Because I love you."

Everything in my body flared to life, the myriad of emotions mixed together making my head pound and my heart flutter. They were words I'd longed to hear, words he'd fed me before, words I couldn't allow myself to believe. How could anyone walk out of the life of someone they love and stay away for six years while they drown in their own misery? How could he love me when he wasn't there, or when I was being dragged through hell by my hair?

Irrational anger flared and I narrowed my eyes. I was going to push past him, and head on my merry way, but something inside of me snapped. I raised my balled fist and swung at him with every piece of my weight. The punch, had it landed, would have crushed every bone in my hand, so I should have been glad that his hand caught my wrist long before I could reach him. Instead of managing that thought, however, I found myself with my back slammed roughly against the wall, one of his hands pinning my wrists to the surface above me.

Before I could struggle or say a word, his lips were on mine. The taste of him filled me so quickly it made my head foggy with lust. His hands squeezed my wrist roughly and I gasped allowing him entry into my mouth where his tongue probed mine erotically. He'd never been this rough with me, ever, and it was stirring up a delirium inside of me. My whole body caught fire as the coolness of him pressed against me. It rushed through my body and exploded in my lower abdomen so I was burning alive. I could smell his natural scent permeating the air around me, clean and exclusively him, as familiar to me as my own.

It felt so right. This was my home. This was where I belonged. Even with his leg sliding between my thighs and nudging my legs apart all I could think was that this was what I was looking for, what I had been missing all along. I was intoxicated by his very presence. Though he was careful of those teeth, I could feel his need in the movement of his lips, and in the laving if his tongue against mine. I didn't want him to stop. God help me, I never wanted him to stop.

"God, I missed you." He breathed against my lips before his tongue traced the line of my bottom lip.

The hazy fog of bliss hung over me, it made me lethargic, and all I could do was smile at him. I leaned in to continue the kiss, and he obliged, his free hand rough at the nape of my neck and he tipped my head back to gain a better angle. It didn't last nearly long enough though, and all too soon he pulled away and pressed his forehead to mine.

We stood like that for a while, my panting breath mingling with the cool air of his. Our eyes were locked together, and I found my heart calming slowly as I realized he wasn't willing to take it any further. It made sense to everything but the clawing need of my libido. As much chemistry and drive as there was between us, we couldn't put off the inevitable. We needed to talk this out, without my anger and without his need to control the situation.

He released my hands from over my head and I let them slide down to my side, the delicious ache in them making me shudder in excitement. We still had this undeniable connection between us, which answered one of my questions at least. I may have wanted to jump his bones, and the very prominent and intimidating length that was pressed against my lower belly, but we couldn't rush into this.

I reached for his hand, slowly and timidly. He didn't fight me, and even stepped back as I slid out from under his body and began towing him toward the boudoir. I figured hanging the _Do Not Disturb_ sign on the door would give us a tentative privacy. Even if someone could, undoubtedly, hear us.

"Bella." He whispered into my hair as I pushed the door open.

"I know." I answered in the same low tone. The house was empty, but there was still this need for privacy that seemed to grip us both. "We need to talk."

He buried his head in my shoulder and inhaled, and I couldn't help the shudder of my response. I hooked the sign on the door and towed him to the huge bed in the middle of the room. He hesitated for only a moment, but gave no resistance with my second pull.

I collapsed into the soft surface and lay on my back, facing the ceiling with my hands on my still fluttering stomach. When Edward hesitated, I pat the spot next to me, and watched as the resignation crossed his features. He lowered himself down next to me and went still.

"That was–"

"I know, I'm sorry. I've wanted to do that since you gave me a lap dance."

I snorted and rolled my head to the side to look at him. That dance felt like a lifetime ago for me. I had been roasted and toasted and I'd wanted to get him all worked up and walk away. In a way I had managed that, and we'd been arguing since. All of my anger had suffocated me, and I wasn't over it, not by a long shot, but I couldn't get past anything unless I started making an effort to clear the air between us.

We stayed in the middle of the bed, not touching and breathing into the silent room. I wasn't sure how to start, and it seemed he suffered from the same affliction.

"I'm sorry I've been such a bitch. I know that I should have explained myself long before now, but I was so angry with you, I still am in some ways."

"And I deserved the anger. Don't be upset, but Alice talked to me, she had to beat it into my head that you weren't the girl I left behind, and you never would be. It took several attempts at cornering you and trying to force you to listen before I finally got the picture. I've been thinking a lot about how we were, and how I behaved before we left, and I realized that–" He took a loaded breath and turned his head to look at me. "–I never gave you a choice. I took that all away when I lied to you and told you I never wanted you."

"See, that's what I don't get," I said, rolling onto my side and propping my head on my hand. "Why did you do it? I was almost killed by James and you stay. I get a fucking paper cut and you move your whole family away. After you left I spent hours wandering through that forest my mind going over what happened. How an accident had made you hate me so much. You have no idea how much that fucked me up, Edward. I was practically catatonic for months. It was only when Dad threatened to send me away that I finally made an effort. You made so much sense to me, but it was so easy for you to walk away."

"It wasn't easy, Bella."

"You made it _look_ easy. No emotion, no sadness, nothing. You just barked another order at me and walked away. I almost killed myself trying to break that fucking promise to you."

"It's what I am. Master of deception, of hiding anything that matters behind an impassive mask, while inside I was screaming for mercy. Arguing that I should be selfish for once in my life. I honestly thought you would move on and be happy."

This was where things were going to get sticky. I would have to tell him everything about my life, whether it hurt him or not. If we were going to talk, I was going to get everything out there. Even if he decided that he didn't want me after all. I wasn't hiding anymore, and if he couldn't accept the decisions I made, well again it wouldn't work. This was going to build a foundation for a friendship. If it went beyond that, great, if not, at least I knew.

"I kinda did, and I was for a while."

Edward examined my face and I couldn't fathom what he found there. I could already feel the hatred and pain boil under my skin. I didn't think I would ever be able to think of Jacob affectionately again. Edward had left me, and that had hurt, but he would never have betrayed me while we were together. I'd known that from the bottom of my soul. No matter how pissed off I was.

I started the story of how Jacob and I got close and finally ended up together. Edward listened patiently without blinking. There were points I could see his hands balling into fists and I named my firsts. I wasn't doing it to hurt him. I was doing it so he wouldn't be under the misconception that I'd preserved my virginity for a man who was very obviously not coming back.

When I brought up Victoria's name, I didn't miss the constant growl that seemed to roll from him. I stopped the story just after Jacob broke up with me. I was unsure of how to continue. Victoria's name has already passed my lips enough to make me swallow bleach. The thought of going on was almost too much to bear.

"I tried to find her. After I left I tracked her down to South America." He scrubbed his hands over his face roughly. He fell into a state of reticence, and he could barely look at me. His eyes were on the ceiling above him, unblinking, frozen in a memory. The house was so quiet around me I could hear the hitch in my breath and the pounding of my heart.

I'd always assumed he'd just forgotten about her, that he'd made an assumption of his own that she would leave me alone after he left. That wasn't the man I had known, but he'd left me, it had made sense that he would cut all ties of association to my existence and me, including Victoria.

When the silence became too heavy I knew I had to break it.

"What happened?"

"I followed her through Mexico and up into Texas. It was difficult because I could only travel at night. I wasn't sure that Victoria was being as safe. I doubt she cares what the Volturi think of her. I thought she'd wanted me dead. I ended up in New Orleans and ran into a small coven of vampires there. They weren't exactly excited to have another vampire in their territory, when I tried to explain why I was there, they told me they'd killed the red head. I thought she was dead. When I called Alice, she couldn't see her at all, so I accepted the fact that I hadn't been the one to finish it and rejoined my family."

Well at least I knew he hadn't given up. He'd tried to make sure that she was disposed of before he gave up. I couldn't blame him for Victoria anymore, I couldn't hold on to the anger of him not caring. He'd done everything he could. I hated that I had blamed him so fervently for not caring enough to go after her. I was angry with myself for dividing the blame. I was the only one that the blame was with. I was the one that hadn't been where I should have been.

"Bella?"

I hummed my response as the thoughts slowly faded so I was back in the present.

"Have you seen her lately?"

I rolled onto my back and covered my face with my hands. I'd wanted to wait for another day to explain this, but it seemed that would be impossible. I could already feel the weight of my emotions beginning to crush me as I took a deep breath and let my hand move to my hair. I turned only a little to recapture the golden orbs of his eyes before I spoke.

In hindsight, it probably wasn't the best way to deliver the news. I hadn't thought it through. I hadn't considered the weight of my words on the man lying next to me. Unfortunately, I didn't think about any of that until after I dropped the sentence.

"Not since she killed my dad."

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**Authors Note: **They finally talked! I have to be honest, I wrote and rewrote this one chapter at least four times before I felt it was right. I still think there are some issues with it, but at the same time I could see this Bella being able to live with this interaction. I don't think she would have listened to him without him being quite so forthcoming. Especially in her particularly horny state! I know it seems like he's making a choice for her again, but he was acting on his own need for her.

Thanks to all of you who read, alerted and added to your favorites and of course for the reviews. As always, I hate not being able to respond, just please know that I love you for taking the time to let me know what you think and reading through them always makes me smile because I love how invested you are in seeing Bella get well and finally be happy. Each of you have been amazing and so supportive and I can't thank you enough for that.

PinkIndeed. You know I love you to pieces, and I'm so sorry that I have been absent. I swear I will sit down and explain it all to you soon xoxo

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie. The two of you mean more than you can possibly know to me and I am counting down the days! Love you both!

**MWAH! **


	23. Chapter 23: Unexpected

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 23: Unexpected**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

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_Shield your eyes from the truth at hand  
__Tell me why it'll be good again  
__All those demons are closing in  
__And I don't want you to burn_

_**Bright Lights and Cityscapes by Sara Bareilles**_

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I don't know what I'd been thinking would happen when I dropped that information, but it was nothing in comparison to the actual reaction that I got. Before I could blink he was throwing things around the room like a hurricane had been set loose. Doors were ripped from hinges, contents of closets shredded and thrown around the room. All the while, the only thing I could do was cover my head and hope for the best as the crashes rang out around me. It wasn't until I heard one of the huge panes of glass crack as something bounced from it that I knew I had to do something.

"Edward, stop."

I may has well have been speaking to the wall for all the good it did. I bounced over the huge mattress as he darted across the room. He'd picked up one of the very old, ornate couches and I was loathed to think of how much it cost. I stepped in his path and planted myself with my hands on my hips.

"Stop. It."

He was in my face before I could even suck in a breath, his eyes so dark that I could feel a tremulous shake in my balled hands. He barely resembled the man I knew, or the man I'd known in the past. He was all wild emotion and anger. He was an avenging angel unleashed and stripped of his wings. He took my breath away, but he terrified me.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

I spread my arms gestured to the room around us. It was one of the reasons I hadn't mentioned it, but the other... Well I could see that already beginning to settle in. There was no hiding this, not from me, not from anyone. I didn't care if it was his nature or not. His own thoughts were already beginning to set in and he was talking all of the blame on his own shoulders.

I wanted to be understanding and gentle as I once had been. I would have cupped his cheeks and trained all of his focus on me so I could talk him down. I just wasn't sure I knew him well enough to do that anymore, but the fact remained I needed to do something before he destroyed the whole house in his anger.

"Because I didn't want you to do this."

"Do. What?" He growled.

Fuck it. I reached out my hands and cupped his cheeks, half expecting him to shake me off. He didn't.

"Blame yourself. Don't deny it. I can see it written on your face. This is not your fault. You couldn't have known."

"I should have checked. Asked to see the body."

I shook my head and stepped closer to him, so close the cool temperature of his body seeped through my clothes and made me shiver. His head bent so our eyes were still locked together. Slowly, his arms inched around my waist. Neither of us said anything for a while, but the burning in his eyes was like a knife to my gut.

"You did everything you could. She was after me, Edward. I was the one that should have been there rather than exercising my ridiculous need for closure. The truth is, however, she's the one that made the decision to kill him. It was her vindictive nature that pushed her to my home that day. Nothing you could have done would have changed it."

"Then why do you blame yourself?"

I shook my head. This wasn't about me, I wasn't absolved and I couldn't be. Everything I did before and leading up to my father's death had put him in danger. Edward had thought she was dead, I knew she was alive. I knew she was in and out of Forks. I'd grown complacent because she hadn't been seen in months, and I was so lost in my own drama that I hadn't given her a thought.

"Bella, talk to me."

I couldn't. It would dredge up everything I'd ever felt and I was still suffering from my visit weeks prior. I couldn't revisit this all again so soon. I could already feel the weight of it creating the stir for a fix. I was so raw that I started to shake slightly, the sweat beading on my brow a dead giveaway. I needed to get away. I needed to bury myself in something so I wouldn't think.

My eyes moved down to his chest, tracing the pattern of his shirt as I tried not to let him see what I was feeling. I was being ripped apart from the inside out. I had finally realized just how culpable I was for the events that day. Though I doubted Edward would agree with my deduction, he was forcing me to face what I had done.

"Bella. Listen to me it's my fault. I'm the one that introduced you to vampires, I was the one that reacted and made James come after you. I was the one that walked away from you. You did nothing wrong, there was nothing you could have done to stop her."

"I could have let her kill me. I could have stopped fighting and let her get her vindication. I am broken, Edward. I gave up."

His hands left my back and tangled in my hair and pulled my head back. It was a violent action that actually hurt, but it made me feel alive in a way I hadn't seconds before.

"I was the one that broke you."

"They would have come through Forks anyway."

"I was the one that left you to deal with this alone."

"No." I could hear the anger growing in my voice.

"I was the one that never let Alice check on you."

"Stop."

"I was the one that left you to deal with all of this alone."

"Edward."

"It was me."

"Edward, stop."

"I will never forgive myself for the pain I have caused you."

This was getting us nowhere. I had one of two choices, and I knew exactly what one I wanted. I needed to forget. I needed to stop thinking. I leaned toward him, my hair aching at the follicles. He didn't release me, and he didn't move. I was on my own and I was going to have to instigate this.

I finally closed the distance between us and crushed my lips against his with such fervor, that my hands clawed him desperately. The kiss was heated and filled with urgency and passion that made me groan into his mouth. I didn't stop as my fingers tangled in the two sides of his shirt and pulled them apart. Buttons flew easily as I dropped the material and ran my hands over the cool muscular chest and down over his abs. He growled like a wild animal the moment my hands reached the waist of his pants and I began unbuttoning them.

"Bella."

There was an agony in his voice, but I wasn't going to stop I couldn't. I let go of the two sides of his pants and started on his zipper.

"If you value your life, Edward Cullen, you will shut the fuck up and go with it."

"Yes ma'am." He groaned as I slipped my hand under the band of his boxers and wrapped my fingers around him. He was cool to the touch, and I could feel the buck of his hips as my thumb ran over the head and through the bead of moisture that had already surfaced.

I pumped him gently, running my hand up and down his generous length as I dropped kisses on his chest. His hands flailed, falling from my shoulders to my hips where he squeezed and released, unsure of what to do next. I knew he didn't want to hurt me, but if he didn't react I was going to explode.

Still working my hand slowly I leaned into him, my teeth closing around his earlobe until he hissed at me. I could feel that grip on his control slipping as I sunk my teeth into his hard flesh. I wasn't sure if he could feel it or not, but his response was all I needed to continue.

"You're not going to hurt me."

"I can't know that."

I nibbled on the edge of his jaw playfully and pulled away, my eyes catching his. I could see the fear and indecision there. He really believed he was going to hurt me. I wasn't sure why I was so certain, but from the first moment I'd met him, I had known that though he was perfectly capable of doing it without effort, he wouldn't. This thing between us was too strong.

"I do. So make me forget, Edward."

He hesitated, and for a second I thought he was going to back away like he always had when we got carried away. I released my grip on him, but before I could move my hand to cup his face again, he had me dragged up his body as he moved us to the huge bed in the center of the room, that had, thankfully, been left untouched.

He dropped to his knees and lowered me to my back, and I sighed in contentment. I'd had what I needed locked away in this house with me the whole time and hadn't known it. I'd been blinded by my hatred and anger, and though we still had a lot of talking to do, I just needed to forget it all in that moment. It wasn't going anywhere. It wasn't going to change between now and tomorrow. I needed him like I needed to breathe.

I moved to sit up but he grabbed my wrists and pinned them over my head as a guttural growl left his mouth. I was surprised how much I liked this aggressive side to Edward. He'd always been so well mannered and gentle when I'd known him, but this commanding and demanding vampire that was playing rough and taking control had me damp between the thighs. I watched as his free hand closed around the hem of my favorite shirt and tugged, splitting it into two so it fell open on either side of me. My chest heaving as I dragged in breaths of excitement and anticipation. I may have had my hands indisposed roughly above me, but I still had my legs and I planned on using them to get my own way.

"So beautiful." He murmured, his eyes glazing over as he drank me in. Heat, regardless of his cool body and grip on me, seemed to rush through my body and blossom between my thighs as my belly clenched in anticipation. I needed him, desperately, and though I appreciated him trying to take his time, that wasn't what this was about. This was about raw passion and need.

"Edward." I purred, my foot moving to where his dick strained against the half closed zipper of his pants. It was a thing of beauty from what I could see from my vantage point. As I rubbed him gently, I could see his eyes closing and his mouth forming a small o of appreciation. He was beautiful in the throes of passion. His harsh serious lines faded, his mouth, normally so rigid, was lax showing his razor sharp teeth. He looked so young and ethereal that I longed for it to be his permanent state one day.

Ignoring my pleading, Edward moved my foot with a gentle kiss to my ankle before he pushed his thumb into the clasp at the front of my bra and released it. He shifted the material to the side as he watched my nipples pucker in the cold air of the room. They ached for his touch, his lips, anything. He didn't disappoint either. He leaned forward, his cool tongue flattening on the taunt peak before teasing it cruelly and circling like a predator. He was driving me to the point of insanity. Every inch of my body was aching, but with him between my thighs I couldn't even gather friction to satisfy it.

"Stay." He growled, his hand releasing my wrists, and I did as he asked. My hands tangling in the sheets below them as his newly liberated hand met with the neglected nipple. He pinched roughly send my back arching from the mattress and my hips rubbing against him so his breath was a hissing intake.

"You're killing me." I purred, shifting closer to him.

"I would hazard a guess it's the other way around." He whispered, his lopsided smile shining and making my heart thump against my sternum. I watched as he experimented, his hand moving slowly over my abs and over the round of my belly until he came to the waistline of those damn sexy sweats I was wearing. I thought he was going to undress me, but instead his deliriously long and delicious fingers dipped under the waist band, and under my panties before running along the silky flesh reverently.

I whimpered in need, shamelessly ready to beg him for more. His index finger slipped between my folds and found the small sensitive nub that had bucking against him. He circled his fingers, flicking and pinching, he was teasing me. I was so close to begging, but before I could say a word, he slipped a finger within the silky folds rendering me silent other than the call to God to have mercy on me. I'd never much though about the temperature difference between our bodies until that moment. He positioned his thumb over my clit, and as he added one of his talented digits I gasped in pleasure, making him freeze.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked, his head coming up from my chest to find my eyes.

"Fuck no." I squeaked, working my hips against him until he relented and continued on with his ministrations. He worked quickly judging his movements by my breath and writhing body. He read my pleasure in the arch of my back and the roll of my hips. The swelling pressure of release started to rise in my gut and rolled through my body sending me off the edge of the cliff and into oblivion, my body gripping him and holding him still as it shuddered in delight.

I'd never in my life had an orgasm that powerful, and he wasn't even inside of me. I closed my eyes as my heart threatened to escape and let the effects of it roll through my body. I could feel him moving, I could feel the sweats being tugged away from my body and smiled lazily, opening one eye.

I wasn't the only one naked, and he was far more glorious than I could ever have imagined. Thick bands of muscle ran over his body, swelling in his arms and thighs as he flexed them. His abs were valleys that put every other man I had seen to shame, his chest and shoulders were intimidating when they weren't hidden behind his various sweaters. Then there was that curved V over his hips that led my eyes directly to his length.

"Bella?"

I blinked up at him, my cheeks aching from the smile that had, no doubt, been there since my climax.

"Are you sure?"

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, I have never been more sure of anything in my life."

With slow movements, he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, his tongue running the line between my lips until I relented and gave him entrance as my eyes slid closed. He situated himself between my thighs, the heavy, cool weight of him spreading my legs further to accommodate him. The blunt head of him nudged at me, sending a shudder of static over the surface of my skin.

"Look at me." He commanded above me. His voice strained.

I opened my eyes and found his as he pushed into me. He moved slowly, my body achingly giving him the space he needed as he furrowed deeper inside of me. My mouth fell open, small gasps of air escaping as the pleasure ate me alive. He froze the moment he was buried to the hilt, his face a mask of pure, unadulterated pleasure as his arms shook. My whole body trembled beneath him. He filled me so completely I wasn't even sure I was capable of breathing anymore.

Inching out slowly, he let out a breath that mingled with mine as my body arched and contracted around him. He pushed back in, making me bow in the middle and my hands move from their place over my head and gripping his shoulders, my short nails digging into his hard flesh.

He built up a careful rhythm, his control obvious with his measured rocking. It was divine, but it wasn't enough. I needed him to lose himself in the moment. I needed him to feel the connection as deeply and freely as I was feeling it.

"Let go." I moaned as he swung his hips back.

"I can't, I'll hurt you." He grunted, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as I rocked my hips and accepted him deeper.

"Do it."

"Bella–"

"Edward." I whimpered.

I wasn't sure if it was the way I said his name or he just gave into his body, but his body began moving quickly, more needy than it had been. I moved with him, meeting him at every driving thrust forward. My body beaded with sweat, my hands slipping from his cool flesh as I arched to meet him. The sound of skin on skin filled the room as my heavy breaths and moans of pleasure reverberated from the walls.

We worked together. A tangle of limbs, our bodies moving in a rhythm that began sliding us along the huge bed until I was forced to protect my head by placing my hands on the wall. Edward's hands moved to my hips, holding me in place as our bodies connected again and again with a beautiful kind of violence. I was so lost in him, lost in the joining of our bodies; that nothing existed outside the two of us.

My thighs began to shake with exertion after a while, and my body began to grip onto his as another wave rolled through me milking him as I came, calling out his name in desperation. It didn't take him long to follow, he pushed deep inside of me once, twice as my body lit up like the fourth of July. I was blinded by the pleasure that surrounded me, I felt as though I were floating weightlessly as my body sang out in joy at the most profound sexual moment of my life. Edward pounded deep inside of me and released, his whole body shuddering as he threw his head back and growled into the air of the room. He collapsed on top of me, the coolness of his skin chilling me as I came down from the best sex I'd had in my life.

I couldn't breathe with his weight pinning me in place, but I didn't care. He was there, right with me, still inside of me as we both shivered in pleasure. Without hesitating, he rolled to his side and took me with him, tucking me under his arm as his other hand brushed the hair from my face. I was exhausted, emotionally and physically spent. I barely noticed the blanket being wrapped around me.

"Sleep." He murmured in to my hair as he pulled me closer against him.

"'Kay."

He chuckled at my weak response, but it was the last thing I heard before I slipped into a deep, restful sleep.

* * *

**Authors Note:** I know that this was probably out of the blue, but Bella's desperation to forget without taking a fix was driving her forward and her feelings for him were growing as he struggled with the truth. I think they both needed to feel that connection, to clear the air between them and eat the guilt.

Thank you all, as always, for reading, alerting adding to favorites, and of course your reviews. I hate not being able to respond and interact with you guys, mainly because I miss talking to you about the story and the characters. That you take the time to let me know what you think is more than I could hope for. I'm sorry that I got so busy I really am, because I feel like I'm taking you guys for granted, but I'm not. Each and every one of you mean the world to me.

PinkIndeed, you know I adore you completely. I'm sorry I've been so distant.

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie... I love you both and I am counting down the days xoxo

**MWAH!**


	24. Chapter 24: Facing Facts

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 24: Facing Facts**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_Why do you keep on whispering  
Talking with your face turned away  
You say that love don't come easy for you  
What makes you think I ain't afraid_

_**Speak Your Heart by Lizz Wright**_

* * *

I woke up aching. My whole body felt well exercised and there was no denying that it was the sex that had done it. My thighs felt like jelly, and my hips and lower back had the feeling of being used well. I felt fantastic. I had a feeling that's what sex was supposed to feel like.

I stretched like a cat, my back arching, my hands gripping the sheet below me, my eyes still firmly closed. While I was still in this world of bliss, I was enjoying it. I would open my eyes when I was good and ready. Except, I suddenly realized I was alone.

Feeling around me, I finally relented and cracked an eyelid.

Nothing.

It was just the destroyed room, and me in the huge fucking bed. Alone.

It stirred up emotions in me that I hadn't revisited in a long time. The sting of rejection ran deep into my marrow as I sat up, holding the blanket to my chest as I pulled my knees up. I tried to calm my frayed nerves. He'd said he loved me. He'd said he hadn't meant what he'd said in the forest that day in Forks. Which in theory was fine, but in practice, I just felt the rejection all over again. Waking up alone after the most earth moving sex ever, really didn't feed a girl confidence. Therein lay the problem.

Trust.

Every part of me believed what he'd been telling me, and there was a chance that he'd meant it and could very innocently be taking a shower at that very moment, but the past had left that pesky thing called paranoia behind and now I couldn't seem to trust him with my heart. I could feel myself locking down even as I sat there.

I needed professional help for the abandonment issues I clearly suffered from.

"You're awake," Edward said from the door, his smile making me melt.

Yep. I definitely needed some help. I was one giant, walking contradiction. I was all mad and pissed off, and now, here I was grinning up at him like the well-sated woman I was. They could do studies on me, and call it something obscure like Isabenoia!

"Where did you go?"

He smiled and sat down beside me. Setting down a tray with several different kinds of fruits and other sweets, and a weird looking brown bottle. I appreciated the meal in bed, but I picked up the bottle with two fingers like it would bite me. To which, Edward laughed.

"It's witch hazel."

"And pray tell, what is it for?"

He pulled the blanket away at my hip, revealing bruises in the perfect shape of his fingers. He grinned sheepishly, and I bit my lip to stop the returning grin. This fabulous spattering of red and purple definitely aided my satisfaction.

"It's supposed to speed the bruising process up or something."

"What if I like them?"

He gave me a look of a starving man that made me fully smile. Oh yes. I could definitely get used to this. We weren't in the green quite yet, but we were off to a great start. At least if we fought there was a promise of some fabulous make up sex to follow it. I leaned in and kissed him on the lips before turning back to the food in front of me.

"I didn't want to leave while you were sleeping, but your stomach was growling up a storm."

"The beast awoke. It doesn't surprise me. My appetite seems to be making up for lost time. I'm going to be the size of a house by the time this is over with."

He chuckled with good nature and watched as I started popping the food in my mouth and humming out my pleasure. Food had never tasted so good on my tongue before. The strawberries seemed to explode in my mouth, the sweetness sliding down my throat. The blueberries were tart in comparison, but nonetheless delicious. I ate until I was ready to explode; then fell back on the bed, ignoring the fact that the blanket stayed around my waist.

Edward, however, had noticed.

"Tease." He growled, sliding the tray away before falling next to me, his lips landing on my shoulder and tracing down to my chest where his tongue sneaked out and circled the erect nipple. I smiled into the room and ran my hands through his copper hair as I fell into the sensation. His other hand seemed to push the blanket further out of the way, exposing me to him completely. My whole body seemed to flare to life at the thought of having him again.

Then, Edward was on top of me, but not in a sexual way. He was literally covering my body as the door to the room burst open. He growled out a warning but I couldn't see past him to see who it was.

"Oh shut up you broody bastard." Tanya laughed, stepping around so she was in my line of sight, her grin wicked. "Hi, Bella."

"T," I said in response, fighting the smile that was threatening to evolve into fits of giggles. "Good hunt?"

She lowered herself to the side of the bed and sat on the lip, as casually as if we'd been in the living room. Thankfully, she and I had become close enough that I actually felt unabashed about being perfectly naked. The Edward blanket helped.

"It was interesting. We ran into some campers, I was chasing a caribou through the trees, so focused on it's pulse point I almost didn't see them."

"So you herded the caribou to stampede their camp and stopped?"

She smiled, the same wicked smile she normally gave me when she was proud of herself.

"You went around."

"I love how well you know me, dearest."

Edward looked between the two of us, his eyes unsure. Of course Tanya picked up on it. She lived to annoy him. I knew she was probably bummed that things had changed between he and I, because she was losing me to bitch to about his sulking. Yet, at the same time, she seemed as though she'd been waiting for it to happen.

"You look confused, Eddie darling. Is it the casual way in which we converse while Bella is naked as the day she was born? Or are you surprised that I haven't started commentary?"

"Both to be honest." He grumbled.

"Well, there's something you need to learn about women, darling, when we grow close inhibitions become a ridiculous notion. You should also be aware that we talk, we share and we give every detail."

I put both of my hands over my face and started laughing. She was right of course, but the mortified look on Edward's face really didn't match the sweet smile she was offering him. It didn't go unnoticed that he was covering my modesty though, I just wanted to hold him and reassure him.

"So tell me." Tanya drawled lazily, crossing her legs and folding her arms over them neatly. "Was it the hottest make up sex ever? It's been a lot of years and a lot of anger. I can only imagine the fun you two had."

"Could you at least wait until I leave the room?" Edward groaned, pulling the blanket until it was between Tanya's eyes and my body. When he rolled off gracefully, the blanket replaced him over my nakedness.

"Oh, you're afraid of a performance review, that can't be good."

I had to throw him a bone. The poor guy was floundering and had no idea how to respond. I sat up and ran my finger along his jaw, pulling his eyes to me. We stared at one another for a moment and I offered a silent apology.

"He's got nothing to be afraid of." I purred. There really weren't enough adjectives to describe just how amazing the experience had been. We needed to talk more, he needed to understand what else had gone on in my life, but for all intents and purposes, I was over ignoring him and pretending there wasn't something there. The rest would be a learning curve.

"Now you _have_ to leave."

"T!"

"What?" I gave her a look. "Oh, fine. I'm going to go and get Rosalie and Alice. I'm sure they're just as curious."

She was gone before I could even make a decision to stop her. Edward was groaning next to me and dropped his forehead in my lap. Something told me this wasn't something he was excited about.

"Hey, at least I only have good things to say." I snorted, running my fingers through his soft, messy hair.

"Can't we just run away?"

I laughed and shook my head. "We'd drive each other crazy. We have shit to work on."

"Stupid human logic." He groaned, his voice muffled by my legs and the blanket.

"As amazing as it was. Sex doesn't magically fix everything. It helps, but we still have a lot to talk about."

He looked up at me, his eyes flaring. I knew he was thinking about what I'd told him earlier in the night. I'd distracted him from his fury, but I could see it still burning behind his eyes. He wanted retribution. He wasn't all that close to my dad, but I knew he'd respected him, and the fact that it had broken me seemed to fan the flames. It was all part of what needed to be talked about, but he needed to just sit back and think, and I was about to be drilled about my sex life.

He sat up and shuffled closer, his hands cradling my neck as he held me in place. His buttercup colored eyes bore into mine, filled with emotion as I drowned in the pools of his.

"I will never leave you again, Bella, and we will finish this. She won't hurt you again, directly or through the ones you love."

"I know." I whispered. I believed that he would look after me. It was in his nature. I just hoped he wouldn't revert to trying to suffocate me with his protective nature. It would just ruin everything we'd started to rebuild.

As the other women appeared at the door, he dropped a gentle kiss on my lips and stood up, his eyes lingering on what little cleavage was showing. He closed his eyes, shook his head and left me alone with the Spanish Inquisition.

"_Isabella Marie Swan!_" Rose laughed, bouncing over the mattress and dropping to her knees beside me. "You dirty, dirty girl."

"Shut up!" I groaned incredulously. I pulled the blanket over my head as the other two sank down next to her. I had spotted the smile on Alice's face before I'd hidden. I'd already forgotten about the bruises, but the shift in the blanket gave the three of them a perfect view.

"You two got your freak on. Look at that." Tanya laughed, poking one of the bruises, which gave me no choice but to drop the damn blanket and hide them from view.

"Pardon my negativity, but just like that, you're going to forget what happened?" Rose asked, followed by an irritated tsk from Alice.

"No. We have a lot of talking to do, but look at the room. I told him about my dad and he went off his damn rocker. We were both emotional and worked up and... We still have talking to do." When the yellow eyes moved about the boudoir, I added sheepishly, "sorry about the room T."

She waved me off. "The art and bed are untouched. It's all good."

I gave her a smile and turned back to Rosalie who looked unsure. She was still mad at Edward for not doing more. I got that, I really did, but the truth was he'd tried. That much was obvious from the conversation about Victoria. He'd actively sought her out to eliminate her, and he'd believed she was dead. We would talk more about that, and we would talk more about everything else too. There was no way I could sweep it under the rug.

"The slate hasn't been cleaned because of mind blowing sex, but at least we're communicating."

"It he hurts you–"

"Rose. Stop. Do you honestly think he would purposely hurt her?"

"He _did_, Alice. The day he left."

"So..." Tanya asked. "Not to sound all pouty because I'm out of the loop, but what exactly _did_ happen?"

Rose and Alice both looked at me, and I realized there was no point in keeping it all hidden anymore. Unfortunately, that didn't mean I wanted to do the talking. I'd already gone through half of it once that day. I wasn't about to subject myself to another round of emotional slaughter. I nodded at them, and thankfully, they took the lead.

They explained everything, while I tried to block it out. My life story was being laid bare, and it wasn't a pretty story. They told her everything they knew, and when Alice's knowledge ran out, Rose continued, explaining everything about Jacob and what had happened the day my dad had been murdered, followed closely to my path up to the point we were at.

Listening partially, it was like being read aloud some tragic novel being summarized. It was hard for me to think of it all in terms of my reality, especially some of the more unsavory things. I hadn't realized I'd been so honest with Rosalie the night I'd been in the bath. She knew everything. Including the string of men that had resembled Edward.

"Oh sweetie, Rose is right. You can't just let this go."

I sighed and pulled the blanket around me tightly as I crossed my legs and stared at them all. Alice was the only one that wasn't offering commentary. As much as I appreciated it, I was also concerned she was monitoring decisions and waiting until her opinion was needed.

"Look. I realize that; yes, he did indeed leave, and believe me that's already something I am going to have to work through. I'm more than aware that I have a really bad case of the abandons, but he tried to take care of her. He tried to make sure she wouldn't be a problem. He thought she was dead."

"But as always, dear Edward forgot to follow up." Tanya interjected. "I think it's wonderful that you're working things out, but it doesn't change the fact that he stayed away. That he wouldn't let Alice check on you. What? Did he think that just because he was gone the danger would leave too? Then there's the dog issue. If he'd stayed you would never have had to deal with those beasts and you wouldn't have had your heart broken yet again. It was the domino effect, Bella. You were in the center, helpless to stop it."

"I wasn't helpless, T. I made my own mistakes."

"Like?"

My hands tangled in my lap and I started getting uncomfortable. I wasn't a glutton for punishment and I knew if I said what was on my mind, I would be reprimanded for it. There was just no way they could ever understand where I was coming from or my logic.

"Bella?"

"I could have let her kill me. It's what she wanted, and my hiding behind vampires and wolves did nothing but force her to go to the next best way to get to me. Kill the people I love."

The three women gave me sad looks. I knew what they were thinking. Poor delusional Bella, taking all of this on her own shoulders, blah, blah, blah, but it was just the truth. I appreciated their need to protect me from my own destructive thinking, but it didn't make the reality of it any less relevant. If I'd handed myself to her on a silver platter, everything would have been simpler. Sure, I had this need to live, all of us did. It was the basis of surviving. No one wanted to offer themselves up like a sacrificial lamb, but my fear had killed my father. There was no other way to look at it.

"Whereas I am, as always, amazed by your selfless need to take responsibility," Tanya said gently. "It doesn't change the fact that even that wouldn't have been necessary if Edward had never left. You're human. Defenseless against us and our kind. He had the ability to protect you, but his ridiculous misguided chivalry made him walk away and flick that first damned domino."

"Are you trying to make her hate him?" Alice asked.

"No, sweetheart. I'm stating the facts. Not even you can deny that had you not left, Bella's father would be alive."

"Then we're all responsible," Alice said quietly. "We didn't have to concede to Edward's demands of leaving. Which means we're all culpable."

This was why I didn't like getting into theoretical debates with them. The blame always shifted onto their own shoulders. They were doing what came naturally to them. They were protecting themselves and their secret. There were hundreds of excuses that could shift the blame from me, but the truth was, I couldn't hide from the facts. I wasn't where I was supposed to be, and I hadn't protected the one person who knew nothing about this world. I knew the risks and the danger. I knew Victoria kept coming back looking for holes in the defenses, and I knew my dad was murdered for something he knew nothing about, when I _should_ have been at the house that day.

"Stop. All of you. It's in the past, and no amount of pointing fingers or shifting of blame will change that. I can't hold anyone but myself responsible."

I got up from the mattress and pulled the blanket around me as I bounced toward the edge. I was through talking about this, I'd been in a fabulous mood and now I was right back to where I'd started. Confused and unsure of what the hell I was doing. I wasn't sure if I was coming or going, and though I knew in my heart I wouldn't lock Edward out again, we needed to get some of this out before we even thought about sex again. It was a depressing and disappointing thought, but if we were seriously going to even consider something more happening between us, it was something we would have to do.

"Bella. Where are you going?" Rose asked gently, a tinge of remorse in her tone.

"To shower. I just need a break."

"You know where I am if you need me."

"I do. Thank you."

I stalked out of the room and almost walked straight into Emmett, whose eyes were as wide as saucers. I didn't stop or comment. I simply nodded and took off toward my room, unsure of anything and confused to the point of dizziness.

* * *

**Authors Note: **I apologize for the lateness of the post. I was out of town and just got back in.

Thank you all for the support and for reading adding to alerts, favorites and, of course, for the reviews. That you take the time out of your day to write and let me know what you think means the world for me. I'm still swamped and I'm not sure when that will come to an end but I'm hoping soon. I miss conversing with you through Review replies. I love you all for you support and I hope you know that.

PinkIndeed, you're fabulous as always and I miss you terribly.

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie, you both know how much I love you for who you are and your support in my writing. I don't know what I would do without you both. I love you!

**MWAH!**


	25. Chapter 25: Reading the Signs

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 25: Reading the Signs**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_We are ghosts  
__We are ghosts amongst these hills  
__From the trees of velvet green  
__To the ground beneath our feet_

_**Ghosts by James Vincent McMorrow**_

* * *

I took a long shower, letting the hot water cascade over my body and run down my body in rivulets. I had done nothing. I hadn't washed my hair, or soaped up my body. I just stood under the spray letting the jet of water ease my troubled thoughts. As much as I loved my friends, and they had become my friends, I couldn't help but feel as though they'd cornered me. I had said too much, and as good friends should, they reverted into proving me wrong

The problem was, I didn't need reassurances. I knew where the fault lay. Nothing they said, or did, could change the way I saw things. It was a fact of life plain and simple. I appreciated that they wanted to ease my conscience, and I believed in some cases, mainly Rosalie, she truly believed that I wasn't culpable for what happened with my dad. I think she believed the fault lay with the one person who had the ability to have stopped it from happening. The one person who saw it as their job.

She blamed Jacob.

God knew that I'd done my fair share of blaming him too, but that had been when I was up to the eyeballs in heroin and my self-awareness was buried so deep that I was numb. It was so easy to place blame on someone else when your mind was in a drug-induced fog.

Mentally slapping myself for dwelling on the subject, I finally kicked myself into action and went through my shower routine. The room was filled with steam by the time I got out, and I reveled in the humid air that enveloped me. The only distraction I seemed to have from the conversation I'd had with the girls, seemed to be what I'd _done_ with Edward.

It served well as a distraction for my overworked mind, but all it did was confuse me further and send me into another tumble of tumultuous emotions. I didn't regret being with Edward in that way, I couldn't. I was, however, kicking myself in the ass for rushing into it. There was still so much that needed to be said and worked through, and I'd taken us from zero to sixty in a blink of an eye. It was hard to slam on the brakes and not send the wrong message. There was so much history between us that I just wasn't sure what the future held.

I swiped my hand over the condensation on the mirror and looked at my reflection with mild surprise. I looked alive. My cheeks were a healthy pink flush, my eyes were filled with emotion, and my lips were full and swollen.

"Bella?" Edward called through the door.

I'd been staring at myself so hard, and so lost in thought, that the intrusion made me jump. My heart pounced into my throat as I stumbled on the tile floor. I was going to start putting bells on them if they didn't stop sneaking up on me. I was too young to die from a heart attack.

"Be right out."

I ran the brush through my hair and brushed my teeth, before securing the towel around me and cracking the door open. Edward was on the bed, his long frame stretched out and his hands behind his neck, while his eyes were trained on me. The grin he was wearing made his face light up, and my heart skip giddily in my chest. It was such a contrast from the glare and looks of longing he'd been giving me since he'd found me in Vegas.

He held out his arms as I stepped further into the room, and God help me, I went to him. The moment my knees hit the bed, he pulled me down and draped me over his chest. His cool hands brushing the damp, and misplaced strands of hair from my face.

"I couldn't stay away." He murmured, his arms finally wrapping around me and holding me to him. "I know we need to talk more, but it doesn't mean we can't spend time together."

I let the breath out of my lungs and relaxed into him. Something about being on the same page made me feel better. We needed to talk, yes. But we also needed to get to know one another again. So much had changed, and hell, I'd changed. He seemed to embrace that, but I wanted to make sure it lasted before I made any kind of decision, and spending time together would at least give me an idea of where his head was.

"Do you think you could finish your story?"

I nodded against his chest. I was only wearing a towel, and his cool body was absorbing the heat from the steam in the bathroom, but he deserved to hear all of it. I needed him to understand why I'd made the decisions I had.

I started from before Charlie's death, explaining where I'd been and the argument with Jacob, and continued on to waking up at my mom's and leaving. Then to Luke and my first taste of heroin all the way through to the club, the men and where I was with Ryan when he'd found me. He didn't judge me. He just pulled me closer as I talked, his lips brushing against my hair.

"I never should have stayed away."

"You couldn't have known." I responded quietly. "Everything that happened was a decision I made. Nobody else can be blamed."

"I have one question."

"I'm sure you have more than that." I teased, my palm flat on his chest as he took in a deep breath.

"I do, but this is just curiosity."

"Shoot."

"How were you able to not be found. There was no record of Bella Swan ever living in Nevada. We almost didn't go because of it."

I shifted uncomfortably. This was something I hadn't explained to anybody. I hadn't been sure how to. If there was anything that had screamed: I'm still in love with Edward, this was it. I moved to get off the bed, but his arms closed around me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"Not uncomfortable." I smiled. "Embarrassed, but its easier showing you than telling you. I'm not sure I can get the words out."

Edward nodded and released me. I padded across the room and opened the closet, pulling on one of the shirts I'd accumulated that hung down to my knees, before I pulled the box from the shelf. When I turned around I saw Edward's frown at my choice of clothes, but it was more comfortable than the towel.

"You may wake up one morning to find some of those replaced with mine," he said, as I slid onto the bed next to him. "I don't like the thought of you in another man's shirt."

I raised my eyebrows, but he shrugged nonchalantly.

"I'm a man. Seeing the woman you love in your clothes is appealing."

Rolling my eyes, I unclasped the box in my hands, making sure that he couldn't see the contents before I started digging for what I was looking for. It was all the way in the bottom. Slipping it out, I closed the box and handed him the paperwork before setting the box to the side. I watched as his eyes moved across the sheets, widening with surprise. When he was through, he looked up at me.

"I think I always knew what we had was different. I couldn't let you go. Having your last name... It was desperate and pathetic, but it was a piece of you I could keep. Something no one else would realize, something no one would look for."

I couldn't read the emotion behind his eyes. He watched me carefully though.

"Bella–" He snapped his mouth shut and sat up, his arms folding around me before he pulled me into his lap. His hands brushed my hair and rubbed along my ribs. His lips brushing my temple as he rocked us gently. I still wasn't sure if he was doing it because he thought I was nuttier than squirrel shit, or he was moved.

"Say something." I whispered into his shoulder.

"I'm honored."

I closed my eyes and let my cheek rest against his chest as he tucked me against him and enveloped me with his body. Everything I'd said was true. Hindsight, as they said, was twenty-twenty. I was finally starting to realize just how tied to him I had been, how reluctant I'd been to let him go. There had been some level of desperation there, and though loath to admit it, I think I could also admit that it was another way of hurting Jacob if he ever found out. I was so fucked up in the head when I'd done it.

"You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for."

"How can you say that?"

"You lived through all of this. Yes you made some... Not so great decisions, but it's better than what most people would have done. You're right, you have changed, but it's for the better. I couldn't see that before, I saw it as something negative, because the memory of you has been with me for so long. Now I can see that you just grew stronger and became someone you needed to be."

"You keep saying the right thing and you're gonna get lucky again." I snorted.

"That a promise?"

"You're such a man."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

I grinned and let him hold me. I had to admit it was nice to be comforted with this level of intimacy. No matter how much I tried to convince myself we were moving to quickly and I wasn't sure what I wanted, he would go and do something that made me forget where my head was. My heart just took the lead and my body went with it. So much for taking things slowly.

I wasn't sure how long we stayed like that, and I didn't really care if I was being honest. We talked quietly amongst ourselves as the minutes fell into hours. When the sky started darkening, the shadows elongated and cast us into darkness. It wasn't until my stomach released an aggravated growl that we finally parted.

"Come on, we'll go down to the kitchen. They're already accusing me of hogging you."

"Emmett?" I asked. Knowing exactly whose terminology that had been.

"Yeah. He finally got the Xbox he ordered, as well as the Wii and the playstation three. He's ready for the challenge."

I couldn't help but laugh. Emmett had promised that we would have some kind of tournament the moment they came in. He'd known how bored I'd been getting and finally decided it wasn't just for him anymore. Even Rose had agreed to be a part of it all. Winner was going to get bragging rights for a month, and a trophy that Emmett had apparently had since the Nintendo sixty-four had come out. He believed he was in no trouble of losing the thing. So Rose and I had been recruiting everyone to join in. We had the whole house involved, including Esme and Carlisle.

"Is he as good as says he is?"

"He still has the damn trophy!"

"Point taken."

I kissed the side of Edward's neck and crawled off the bed, pulling on some undies, and yoga pants under the shirt. Edward took one look at me and shook his head. He disappeared, but was back before the door even had a chance to close behind him. He threw me a pale blue shirt and smiled at me. I supposed I was being asked to wear it.

When I stripped the top off, unabashed, he growled his approval and stepped toward me. The rational man who'd been with me for the last couple of hours replaced by the horny teenager now stood in front of me. Unfortunately, for him at least, I covered myself up with his shirt before he could reach me.

"Can I just say, I'm enjoying this exhibitionist side of you?"

"That's funny. I didn't think you would complain."

"How could I?"

"There was a time you would have."

He folded me in his arms and pulled me against his chest, my body bowing into his as my hands settled on his shoulders. "You mean when I was an idiot, and had no idea of the deity that lingered beneath all of those layers."

"That would be the one." I smiled, leaning into him and kissing him. "You could have saved Mrs. Palmer a lot of effort."

"That's just crass."

"But true."

"God yes," he said against my lips. His kiss became more desperate and erotic. His body rubbing against mine as his tongue explored my mouth hungrily.

This was not conducive to my no sex rule, or feeding my complaining stomach. Not that I was protesting. Even with his cold body against mine, my skin grew hot and my body became pliable. Sparks ran over the surface of my skin and exploded in my gut until the need became an ache. One that only Edward would be able to remedy.

He growled and pulled away, running his straight nose along the edge of my jaw reverently.

"We'll continue this later."

"Are we about to have a visitor?"

He nodded, his cool breath hitting the column of my neck. The chilled air on my heated skin made me shiver, just as the door opened, revealing a grinning Emmett.

"Put her down, bro. We have some business to attend to."

"Emmett–"

"You've had all day to spend with her. Not my fault if you spent it being a girl. She proffered a challenge and it's time to cash in. The family trophy is on the line, and I got something to prove."

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me as I backed away from Edward and picked up his hand.

"Fine, but you know the rules. I still get to sleep. You have an unfair advantage."

"We're playing a console at a time in six hour shifts. Believe me I will kick your ass and be moving on before that ever happens."

I popped my knuckles and gave him a smile. "You just laid down the gauntlet my friend. I hope a couple of decades was enough time with that precious trophy of yours, because you're going to lose it."

"Game on, little bit."

"I hope you have a good digestive system, Emmett. You're going to eat your words."

"Are we twelve?" Edward interjected. Emmett and I just stared at him, and then back at one another. "Apparently so."

We joined all of the family in the media room. It fell silent for a moment and I couldn't understand why, until I realized I still had Edward's hand in mine. He gave a squeeze with his hand in reassurance and I made my way to the couch, where Emmett had flopped into it. Edward sat first and I followed, straight into his lap. Tanya snorted and took her place in the middle.

She ran through the rules and handed the two of us our remotes as everyone else closed in around the couch and settled themselves in. And the games commenced.

I spent all six hours playing and then some. Emmett was quick, and had all of his vampire senses on alert. He'd already broken two controllers in his enthusiasm. I was just coasting along doing my thing. He was fast, but I made less mistakes. I loved that he had been so cocky, because I was keeping up with him and it drove him insane. Edward had long since moved from under me, but when he'd come back he had food. He actually fed me as I played.

It seemed as though everyone, other than Rose, was cheering me on. Apparently Emmett had lorded the trophy over their heads for years, and the thought of anyone else having the honor was exciting to them. When Tanya finally called time, Emmett was trailing behind by almost two thousand points.

I was freed from the game while the next two, Jasper and Eleazar, took our places and began their own marathon. I curled up in Edward's lap to watch, but was asleep before even the first hour had passed, which was when I must have slipped into the dream.

_Darkness surrounded me, the only shapes discernible were the tall towering trees that seemed to fill the space around me. There wasn't a sound in this dark forest, no bird song__s, call of crickets or breath of wind. It was just me and the trees in the darkness. The emptiness was harrowing, and though I knew there had to be an end to it somewhere, I was rooted to the spot. _

_I shivered in the cool air that surrounded me, my eyes searching for some sign of light. I looked up to the canopy trying to focus on what was beyond it, but there was nothing. No stars, no moon, just more of the endless darkness that seemed to eat at everything. _

_I wasn't sure how long I stood there listening, but eventually I heard a growling in the distance. It was fierce and menacing, filled with anger. A twig snapped somewhere behind me but I couldn't turn to look at it. I was still rooted to the spot, the darkness swallowing the trees as it closed in on me. _

_Something flickered and moved ahead of me, and I focused on the spot, praying it was someone to help me. As the growling behind me grew more feral, I struggled against the confines that surrounded me. My limbs, finally set free started pushing me forward. With the noises in front and behind me, I took off the right, my legs and arms pumping like pistons as I tried to stay upright on the undergrowth. The chaos of fallen leaves and discarded branches at my feet seemed to thicken with each step I took. I tripped continuously, too afraid to look behind me to see what was following. _

_I sprinted between the trees, my hair flying out behind me, catching in branches, tugged on by god knew what. I finally came to a lip and didn't stop, I fell over it and tumbled to the bottom, hitting my feet and running until the darkness started to lift and I began recognizing my surroundings. _

_This was where I had wandered when Edward left. This was the chaotic path I'd taken in a desperate attempt to find him. _

_"Edward?" I called out, still running. _

_"I'm right here."_

_"I can't see you."_

_"Open your eyes."_

I followed the command and found myself in the media room, everyone staring at me. The shirt I was wearing stuck to my damp flesh as my ragged breaths spilled from me in violent wheezes. It was a nightmare, just a nightmare, and I was safe. Edward was holding me and the light that filled the room chased away the shadows in my head.

I was also starting to feel embarrassed.

"Come on. Let's go get you cleaned up," Rosalie said gently. She stepped toward me and held out her hand, and I took it in mine, my breath still coming fast and painful. Edward didn't try to stop me, and I didn't attempt to look at him. I could only imagine the look in his eyes. The look I knew would say: "I'm responsible for this horror."

Rosalie didn't say a word as she led me up the stairs to my room, she didn't attempt to say a word as she poured a sink full of cold water, or when I splashed my face with it. Not when I dried my face with the towel she handed me either. She patiently waited, before she led me into the room and sat me down on the bed.

"What was that?" she finally asked.

"Nightmare."

"That's obvious, but what the hell happened. You were thrashing and whimpering, then you started panting and screaming Edward's name, and not in a good way."

"Something was chasing me, and I ended up taking the same path I did when I got lost in the woods the night he left."

"You got lost?"

I nodded. Another heavy sigh as I shook off the last of the terror my dream had given me. "He walked away and I followed. I got lost and night fell and I... I gave up."

"How did you get out?"

"Dad sent out a search party."

I scrubbed my face with my palms and fought to rid myself of the darkness that seemed to linger in my head. It seemed to create a fog in my brain that I was struggling to shake off.

"It was just a nightmare."

"No, sweetie. You've had the same nightmare since you've been here, to the point where I could write a script. This was... different. Scary. Maybe you need to slow things down."

I thought about it. If things were going too fast, why was Edward's voice the only thing that cut through it all? Why was he the one that was able to get me through it? The only one that had eased the terror? The moment I'd heard his voice, I'd followed it out. Yes, a lot of history had been brought up, and yes, it had been an emotional day, but I couldn't see how that would have brought up this one memory.

"Believe me, Rose. I'm not rushing. Yes there was sex, but it was spontaneous. We've talked more and I think we're both agreed that we need to take this a day at a time. I just don't know why that particular memory decided to turn itself into a nightmare. I was devastated, but I wasn't scared."

"He hurt you, Bella. That's not easy to get past. Maybe it's just your mind, reminding you of the last time you let him in and he betrayed you."

"Rose–"

"I'm not saying that to talk you out of this. You know how I feel about what he did, but even with that, I can't deny how nice it is to see you smiling and happy. Just ease yourself into it."

I took her hands in mine and squeezed. She'd become one of my closest friends, she knew me, she saw the differences and the warnings I hadn't. Yet, I couldn't help feeling like this was a different kind of warning. Before I'd found out about Jacob being a wolf, I'd had a fucked up dream. Before he broke up with me, I'd had a fucked up dream, before dad died, I'd had a fucked up dream. After that, I hadn't had many nights where I'd gone to sleep without being high, but I could see a pattern forming.

It was a little far fetched, but I didn't think I could afford to ignore it.

"Bella? What's that look?"

"There's something I should explain."

She knelt in front of me, her eyes catching mine. They were soft, but the look on her face contradicted it. She was worried.

"Dreams, like this, they have been a precursor to disasters in my life. They're not the same, but with every bad thing that's happened I had a fucked up dream. I think... I think something bad is about to happen."

"Are you sure?"

I thought back. Trying to remember the dreams I'd had those nights. There was one thing they all had in common. The darkness, that all encompassing, light-eating darkness had been in every single one of them.

"Absolutely."

Rose was in her feet in a second, pulling me from my place on the bed and towing me from the room.

"Where are we going?" I asked, struggling to keep up with her.

"If you say this is a warning, we're going to take it seriously," she said, pulling me down the stairs behind her.

I was aware how it sounded, even to my own ears, but I couldn't deny that I was glad she hadn't laughed at me. I wasn't sure what was going on, or why this had suddenly just occurred to me, but knowing that it could prepare me for something coming made me feel better. At least we'd be prepared. Even if it was a false alarm.

* * *

**Authors Note: **Oops I did it again! lol! Another cliffhanger... Sorry about that! HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE! I know I am still fail at the RR's I really am sorry about that!

I want to thank every single one of you for reading, adding to alerts and favorites and for the amazing reviews. You guys never cease to amaze me with your thoughtfulness at letting me know what you think. You take time out of your days and that's, for me, is just *Makes over my head gesture* Thank you so much for taking that time, I know that I haven't been great with the replies for a while, but I read every single one and I love you for it.

As always, KnitIndeed, thanks for being you. We need a serious catch up I feel like we haven't spoken in forever.

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie, to the sister I chose. I love you both xoxo

**MWAH! **


	26. Chapter 26: Validation

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 26: Validation**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_I raise my flags, don my clothes  
__It's a revolution, I suppose  
__We're painted red to fit right in  
__Whoa_

_**Radioactive by Imagine Dragons**_

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Just as Rosalie had, the rest of the family had taken the dream and the connectivity seriously. Carlisle had muttered about subconscious precognition, and rushed off to the computer that he'd set up in the library. Alice had tried searching for anything, even Victoria's decisions, but came up blank.

The whole place went into research mode.

Of course, Edward stuck to my side, but I was surprised that he didn't stifle or smother me. He was just there. Hugging me when I needed it, and listening as I ranted about feeling insane. He even went for a walk with me outside. Not nagging that I should tuck myself away inside and stay safe like he once would have.

Hours soon turned into days, and days into weeks. Like my prior dreams there seemed to be no time limit on when it would follow and it didn't repeat. When I'd finally fallen asleep again, I was granted my old nightmare about my dad. I wouldn't have said it was a relief, but the continuity eased me a little.

Nothing had happened. I'd had Esme call my mom. She'd asked questions about whether Esme had heard anything about me, but she was, thankfully, fine. I'd called Paul in La Push, and he said it had been quiet, though it had been more difficult for me to convince him that there was nothing going on. Then, I called Ryan.

I wasn't sure whether that was a mistake or not, especially when I heard the relief in his voice. He genuinely seemed happy to hear from me, and relayed the information about my mom asking questions about me at the club. We talked for a while after my initial questions had been answered and he was supportive in my decisions to get clean. I couldn't lie, I missed him, more than I wanted to admit because I'd been so determined to be alone and yet I'd found a friend. I'd found someone that cared about me without judging me for my downfalls.

I'd been lying to myself for a while, and though I knew nothing romantic would ever happen between us, mainly because I was in love with Edward, it didn't mean he wasn't important. I managed to dodge the question about when I was coming home, because Vegas never had, and never would be home to me. It was a pit stop, one that would always be with me, but a pit stop all the same.

When I eventually hung up the phone, Edward gave me a supportive hug and said nothing more. I appreciated him not throwing questions at me, even if Jasper was watching me with an eyebrow raised.

These few, but important, calls reiterated that every person that meant something to me was covered and safe. So I was having a hard time following up on the cautionary dream. Maybe it was a fluke, I knew well that those dreams brought in the past. They'd always been a precursor to something big.

Edward really hadn't said all that much about it, he'd just been supportive, and helping with research as much as he could. He'd even looked up the meaning of dreams to see if there was something there we were missing.

With every passing day the cravings I'd had seemed to get easier, but that, I suspected, had been because they'd been replaced by a different kind of craving. A craving that I was currently denying myself. Something that was a lot more appealing than drugs in my opinion. I had invited Edward into my bed every night, and he stayed with me all night, but the two of us seemed to hold off on making any moves on one another. I wasn't sure if it was because he was worried the sex had triggered it, or he was just being respectful and leaving the decision up to me. Regardless of the why, I was growing ever sexually frustrated.

The only plus side to that, was getting to know the man that I'd loved since the moment I'd met him. He really was making concessions as far as I was concerned. When I wandered off with Tanya, or anyone else for that matter, he didn't follow. He just did his own thing until I went looking for him. I knew he was trying to prove that he wasn't the man he'd been before he'd left, and it was working. There was enough love and respect in the way he let me make my own choices that I had no doubt that he had grown since our time together.

When we spent time together, we would talk for hours. Lounged on the couch, taking a walk in the forest, driving to town. It didn't matter what we were doing or where we were going, we always seemed to end up in a discussion about what the other had been doing in the years since he'd left. The first time, it had rankled me, but it got easier as time passed. It was nice getting to know him again, and in some ways, for the first time. I'd been so enamored with him that I hadn't taken the time to learn about his past. Now, I knew stupid little things, like who his first crush was. How his grandfather had been determined he'd follow in his footsteps as a lawyer.

As much as I loved passing the time talking to Edward, I was getting frustrated waiting for something to happen. It wasn't as though I wanted disaster to strike, but with a warning of sorts hanging over my head, it was hard not to be looking for something to happen.

So we started researching, again.

I watched Irina get up and leave as I stared at the book about psychics that had been handed to me. The moment she was gone, Tanya fell into the couch next to me and put her legs on my lap.

"What if it's Laurent?" She asked conspiratorially.

I looked up at her and slammed the book on my lap shut with a sigh.

"You're just saying that because you want your sister back."

"Well you did kind of abandon me." She grinned playfully. "But in all seriousness, he did hang out with that bitch for a while. Who knows what kind of agreement they had or whether he owed her something."

"If he was part of this, he could have killed me a dozen times over in a thousand different ways, T. Think about it. He took a bullet for me."

She nudged me with her foot and looked to the door. There was something close to remorse on her features, and when I looked over my shoulder, I saw Laurent leaning against the frame of the door, one eyebrow raised. He was smiling at me pleasantly.

"Thank you for the vote of confidence, Belle."

"Well, it's logic," I said with a blush. "It wouldn't have been hard for you to do it."

"No. It's true. I've had many opportunities over the last couple of months, but I find you endearing. That being said, I think I should warn you that I have contacted Victoria."

"You did _what_?" Tanya screeched, leaping to her feet, her body dancing in front of mine as though protecting me from the information as well as the man himself. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"T, chill out. Think about it. What better way to get information than from the source? If he was deferring, why the hell would he tell us?"

"Again. Thank you for your vote of confidence." Laurent chuckled, stepping further in the room and lowering himself gracefully into a wing back chair. "Victoria has a talent for avoiding situations of danger, and I believe she was more than suspicious of my call. She made small talk, and for Victoria to do such a thing means she was testing the waters. I'm afraid she may have found them rather tepid. She knew the questions to ask."

"So you waved a big flag saying we're onto to you dumb bitch?" Tanya asked, lowering herself back down to the couch. "Very smart, monsieur."

"Not quite, but she asked the right questions. I doubt she believes Bella is here, but I have no doubt she assumed my call was made on her behalf, which rendered all information she gave willingly, useless."

Tanya growled under her breath and leaned closer to me, almost without realizing it. "I really don't like this woman."

I gave a little laugh and smiled at my friend. She had a way of pointing out the obvious that made me feel better. Though I had to admit, I was glad I was on her good side. I knew how evil she could be when pushed, and that wasn't something that I would have liked to be on the receiving end of. I felt sorry for people who pissed her off. I'd heard her grand schemes when she and Kate got back from the bar on quiet nights. Apparently, even vampires weren't impervious to gossip.

"No. I don't believe there are many that do." Laurent drawled. "I do have a call out to some of my other acquaintances, and if I am able to glean more information I will let you know."

"Thanks, Laurent."

He nodded only once and smiled at the door as Irina blew threw it. The moment she entered she gravitated toward him, falling into his lap with a gentle sigh of contentment. There was no doubt in my mind she'd heard some of the conversation, she glared toward Tanya, who barely acknowledged her entrance. It was a well known fact that Tanya did not approve of her sisters choice of mate.

"I'm going to see if Carlisle and Edward have found anything new," I said, shifting from my place on the couch. Nothing good would come from the battle of wills that was going to commence. Tanya was willful, and when it came to Laurent, so was Irina. Most people left the room when the topic came up. Including Laurent most of the time.

I wandered through the quiet house and past the media room, checking out how the tournament was going. Kate and Alice were playing at the moment, and they were positively civil about the whole thing. This of course just disgusted Emmett. He liked our brand of trash talk. So he'd vacated and decided that the results would be worth seeing after the fact.

I continued through the house and into the dining room, where Carlisle and Edward had converted it into a center of operations. I was the only person who ate in the house, and I usually did that in the breakfast nook of the kitchen.

Edward was alone in the room. His eyes glued to the screen as he tipped his head to the side and studied something. I knew he was aware of my approach. My blood sang to him, so it wasn't exactly news.

"Are you watching porn?"

He nodded, and my mouth fell open. The noises pretty much gave it away, but I hadn't expected him to admit to it. I sidled up to him and slid my ass up on the table next to the computer screen. I grabbed my boobs, emulating the noises coming quietly from the screen. Edward's eyes moved from it, to me and locked on like a predator. I dropped my socked foot into his crotch and rubbed the stiff dick he was sporting.

"How am I doing?"

He turned off the screen of the computer and I laughed. Innuendo was definitely something new between us, but it was like the pre game. We'd been playing this for weeks. It was only a matter of time until the two of us cracked.

"It's going to cost you a dollar." I teased in a husky voice.

He dug in his pocket and put a wad of hundreds in my hand.

"Show off." I snorted, holding the money close to my chest even as he held his hand out for me to return it.

"No, I'm just hoping it'll stop any interruptions. No freebies this time."

"My bootie shaking is worth..." I counted the one hundreds. "Holy shit, five thousand dollars?"

He chuckled and rolled the office chair he'd been using at the table toward me until it and him were between my legs. He got up close and personal, his hands wrapping around me until he had a hold of my ass.

"What's mine is yours."

"I'm not falling for that trick buddy." I sang, leaning forward and pressing my lips to his. "The moment I say it in return, you're going to claim the only thing I have to offer."

"Your POS car in the lockup?"

I slapped his shoulder playfully; feigning a look of shock that he even knew what POS meant and shook my head.

"Your old school tube TV?"

"You're such an asshole."

"An asshole that loves you."

I grinned in response and leaned down toward him, my arms hanging limply over his shoulders as I kissed him greedily. His tongue pushed its way into my mouth as his hands pulled me to the edge of the table until his hand body was pressed against my thighs. Every ounce of sexual frustration suddenly came raging to the front until I slid closer to him, eliciting a grunt of approval from him.

"I want to take you again." He growled into my mouth. His fingers moved slowly to my thighs and followed the seam of the yoga pants up to the apex, before putting more pressure there and making my breath stutter from my body.

I wanted that too, badly.

"You asking permission?"

His eyes flared as he looked up at me. The look he was giving me made my body react, and I was already damp where he was teasing me. He added more pressure and my back arched, my head falling limply on my shoulders. Pinching a nipple through my shirt with his free hand, he growled as he stood up.

When it came to sex, I was really digging him being the aggressor. There was something erotic about this polite, well-mannered man barking out orders and taking what he wanted. I wasn't into masochism, and he was gentle, but also very assertive and commanding. It wasn't what I was used to seeing from him, and it got me damp and needy every time.

He closed the space between us, his big body eclipsing everything else from my sight as his tongue drew a cool path up my neck.

"What are you going to do to me, Edward?" I asked breathlessly, my loose head pulling up to find him staring at me.

His hands tangled in my hair as he pulled me toward him until our lips met. He held me in place, his fingers gripping my hair with a desperation that reverberated through my body. I could feel his control in place, stopping him from instinctively nipping at my lips with those sharp, deadly teeth of his. God help me, I could think of worse ways to go, I had a feeling I would float through death if that were the way it had happened.

"I'm going to fuck you," he said against my lips. His voice was so thick and menacing, my body shook as a wave of pleasure rolled over me. Edward had always been the perfect gentleman, and hearing that language, come out of that mouth... It left me wanting more.

"What else, Edward?"

"I'm going to make you come."

I shivered. I had absolutely no doubt in my mind he would. I was on the cusp as it was, and he'd barely kissed me. With the little nudge I'd given him, he seemed to need no more encouragement. His fingers tugged my hair again, my head all the way back on my spine as his lips roamed freely over my throat. Those cool, but satin lips of his making my skin pebble and my hips roll forward in want.

"I'm going to explore you with my fingers until your body is ripe for me. You're already wet for me, aren't you Bella. I can feel it."

I moaned, as my body curled around the sensation building in my belly. My hips rocked against his, the thick rope of his erection running along my sensitive folds until I shuddered with pure need. Edward Cullen was talking dirty, and I wanted more.

"Do you like that idea?"

I moaned in response. My eyes closing as I formed friction between our bodies.

"Answer me, Bella."

"Fuck. Yes."

I heard his hum of approval before his fingers hooked into the waistband of my yoga pants his flesh cool against my overheated skin making a purring sound rumble from my chest. If we were going to keep playing this game, I was more than prepared to start wearing skirts. With as worked up as I was, I was ready to take him anyway I could get him. I clenched around nothing as his tongue darted out probing at my pulse point. Knowing what he was; only seemed to make me more aroused at the action. For a split second I wondered if that was wrong, but it was gone the moment his fingers slid down my back and continued under the material.

I lifted my ass from the table, my shaking arms giving me the leverage I needed. He'd barely got them over the swell of my ass, when my cell phone rang from the pocket. My eyes flickered open with surprise.

"Ignore it." He commanded. I was so tempted to do as he asked, but it barely ever rang, and I was worried it was what we'd been waiting for.

"Edward." I moaned. My voice filled with an apology I wished I didn't have to give.

"It's okay," he whispered, pulling my pants back up and kissing my neck. "I know you can't."

"This isn't over."

"Not by a long shot." He agreed.

I pulled the phone from my pocket with shaky hands and frowned at the private staring back at me from the screen. Since I'd moved away from Vegas, the Cullens had done some nifty technological hoodoo on my phone to stop sales calls coming through, so I couldn't imagine who it would be, other than–

"Hello?" I asked, answering the phone.

"Trinity? It's Dave."

"Hey, Dave. What's up?" I asked, my heart began pounding and I had to look into Edward's eyes to anchor myself. I could hear the skepticism in his voice. I knew I had to sound different to him. I wasn't high for a start, and I wasn't flirting.

"Listen. Have you seen Ryan lately? I'm worried about the guy. He hasn't shown up for work two days in a row. He's not answering his phone and his apartment is quiet. Any chance you made his dreams come true and stole him?"

"No, sorry Dave. I'm not even in Nevada." I looked over at Edward who I knew could hear the interaction between the two of us. The slight furrow of his brow was the only indication he was concerned in any way.

"Where are you?"

"East coast." I lied, suddenly suspicious. There was no way I was going to give away my location when there was a chance something was going down. Edward nodded at me. "Listen. This is a yes or no question, bud, does this involve a redhead?"

"Yes."

"Is she there?"

"Yeah, sure."

Edward shook his head and held out his hand for the phone. I obliged. There was no way she'd missed that exchange, and the only thing I could think about was the fact that she would kill him for answering that question. Dave was a good guy and I really didn't want to see that happen.

"Dave?" Edward said in a quiet voice. He paused. Listening for a response. "It's not important, I'm a friend of Trinity's that can help." He paused again. "Are you at the club?" Pause. "Is there anyone around?" Pause. "Good, I want you to stay away from her, she's dangerous. Make sure there are people around while she's there. She will kill you." Pause. "I'm not pulling your dick, trust me." Pause. "Then you tell her Trinity is on her way back to help you look for him." Pause. "No, it's not a lie."

He handed me the phone to hang up.

"We going to Vegas?" I asked.

"If you want to. I'm not going to stop you coming with us, Bella. As long as you know the risks."

"Oh, I know the risks. She's after me remember, and maybe I can finally give that bitch a little payback and set up a trap for her for once."

Edward rubbed both palms thorough his hair and looked at me. "That's what I was afraid of."

* * *

**Authors note: **_Viva Las Vegas! _ Like Bella was going to stay behind in the safety of the cabin when people she cared about were at risk? At least Edward is sticking by his word and not making decisions for her. Seems as though he's finally learned that it only pushes her away. Who knew? lol!

Thank you all for reading, adding to alerts and favorites, and of course, for reviewing. I know I say this every week, but I really am sorry I haven't been replying. It frustrates me that I am so busy, mainly because I am honored and completely humbled by the fact that you take time out of your day to let me know what you think of the story. So I am mass thanking you here and it doesn't feel enough at all. I love you guys! Truly!

PinkIndeed... I miss you! That's really all I can say because I suck and have trouble sorting my times out, and I hate that I haven't caught up with you in so long. Thank you for all you support.

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie, you girls know how much I love and adore you xoxo

**MWAH! **


	27. Chapter 27: Affirmation

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 27: Affirmation**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_Deep inside your eyes it shows  
__You've been lost for too long  
__Out of touch  
__On the edge_

_**Violet Skies by In This Moment**_

* * *

I had to give Edward credit. I knew he wasn't comfortable with me being in the middle of the mess, but he never once tried to change my mind. He just gave me choices. The whole house seemed to be in an uproar at Victoria's new low, and the preparations began. There was planning, more planning and a lot of constant talking and communication.

Plane tickets were arranged for all fourteen of us. Emmett even called Paul, giving him a heads up. He'd asked to be kept in the loop no matter what was going on, and Emmett honored his word, making Paul swear not to tell Jacob under any circumstances. I think he knew if I saw Jake I was liable to flip my lid and lose focus. To say he knew me well was an understatement. The last thing I needed was Jacob swooping in and trying to save me because he felt guilty, and getting me killed in the process.

Laurent was taken into the group without hesitation, and he seemed more than happy to be helping with the plans of demise for his former travel companion. Edward and the rest of the Cullens weren't exactly comfortable with his involvement, but they were giving him the benefit of the doubt. It wasn't like we could leave him behind. Everyone was going.

I packed as quickly as I could. Throwing things into a light carry on bag with haste. I buried the box of my memories in the closet in my room. I doubted anything would happen to the house, but I needed to be sure. If some hunters happened upon it and decided to ransack the place, I didn't want to lose it because they thought valuables were stored inside.

I met up with Edward in the living room as everyone else made arrangements of their own. When he opened his arms, I gladly stepped into his embrace and let the feel of him against me calm my frayed nerves. Victoria had known what she was doing when she'd taken Ryan. I may not have been in love with him, but I cared about him, and he cared about me. I was pretty sure she would have spotted that in his fierce need to protect me. My warning would have been enough to make him see how much I feared her.

"How are you?"

"Pissed off. Terrified. Worried."

He sighed into my hair and cradled me closer. Our bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces. It was nice to have his reassurance without him barking off commands. If nothing else had shown me that he was making an effort, this screamed it. He was not going to take my choices away. For that, I needed to make a concession of my own.

"I won't leave your side. I'll do everything you ask of me, Edward. I know you're less than comfortable with me being there, but I have to see this through. She wants me, badly enough to still be chasing me over six years later. I think the opportunity will be enough to keep her from running."

His arms tightened, and he dropped another kiss on the top of my head. It was a silent thank you for thinking with my head rather than my heart. I would fight to get Ryan to safety, but I wasn't going to offer myself as a sacrifice. Not anymore. I couldn't. I'd been through too much to just let go of life now. Unfortunately, I knew myself well and I understood that I would see my Dad's death all over again, and I wouldn't risk Ryan's life like that. Unfortunately, it didn't leave me with many options.

"Just so you know. I don't like this."

I couldn't help myself; I smiled against his chest. He'd worked so hard to be the person I'd needed him to be. Even in telling me that he didn't like it, he wasn't trying to change my mind. He was just voicing his concerns, and I appreciated that.

"I know, and I thank you for understanding why I have to do it anyway. I can't let her kill someone else in my name. She knows she's got me between a rock and a hard place."

"You love him?" There was no accusation or jealousy in his voice. For that I was glad. He didn't need a distraction. He was asking me a question and I was going to answer it honestly.

"As a friend, I think I do. He was a light when I was surrounded by darkness. He looked after me. I know he would want more if I'd have allowed it but I'm in love with someone else. I have been for a long time. All Victoria needed to know was that I cared. It's enough."

He nodded, his chin rubbing against my hair. I knew that he would fight to save Ryan because I cared. It was the same motivation, but opposite outcome that Victoria was hoping for. I just wished I had the ability to dispose of the bitch myself. I hated that I had to depend on them.

"Oh I am going to enjoy killing this one." Tanya sang, coming down the stairs. "I do hate nomads that hold grudges. So very distasteful."

"She's mine!" Rosalie growled, sauntering down the stairs.

"I just wish I had the ability to end her." I capitulated.

"I'll give you the lighter," Rose said sweetly. "Then you can piss on her ashes."

It was a tempting thought. One that I envisaged far too well considering I'd never pissed on anyone in my life. Though there were a few people I could see deserving the honor.

"Thousands of years of evolution, and a higher intellect, yet all you come up with is burning her and pissing on the ashes?" Emmett chuckled. He was leaning on the railing that went from the top floor to the open living room. "There are no words for how much I love you, Rosalie."

Rosalie laughed and curtsied at him as everyone else began to gather in the living room. As mad as I'd been when they'd come back into my life, I was amazed that, once again, I found them my family. They were rallying around me because I needed them. Wasn't that exactly what families did?

With everyone now in the same space, we started breaking up into the two groups they'd discussed earlier. Half of them were catching an earlier flight. They wanted to make sure that Victoria wasn't watching the airport, or the hotels. They would make sure everything was safe before the rest of us arrived. It was like having the secret service do a sweep before the Prez arrived.

It worked for me, because it gave everyone else a peace of mind, and it meant the bitch didn't get to do things on her terms. Advantages like that were ones I would gladly take. There was an air of deja vu in the execution of this plan. It was reminiscent of the trap Victoria's mate, James, had laid out for me all those years ago. Only this time I wasn't going to get tricked into sacrificing myself. I'd realized that I couldn't help anyone if I was being murdered. It had been one of my many mistakes when it came to the James situation.

In my group, I had Edward, Rose, Emmett, Tanya and Alice. Everyone else was heading out running, while we were driving. There were a lot of precautions being played out, and though it meant that Ryan was in that bitches grasps longer than I liked, it was the only way it could be played out. It wasn't just me anymore. There were fourteen of us and this was the only way everyone would be comfortable.

Driving through the snow hadn't been too bad, but once we were settled on the plane – in first class no less – I started getting frustrated and impatient. Being idle only seemed to add to the helplessness I was feeling and it didn't make matters easier. The conversations I'd had kept running through my mind on a loop.

Dave had said Ryan had missed two shifts. Ryan was one of the most punctual people I knew, and on the rare occasion he was sick, he always made sure someone was there to take his shift. He considered each of the girl's safety his own responsibility. He knew who was obsessed with each girl and when they were in the club so he could walk them to their car. That he's missed shifts without calling was a red flag that screamed Victoria. Even if I hadn't have had the confirmation, I would have known. It was the way she operated.

The phone call had been almost six hours ago, and we wouldn't land for another five hours. Maybe less considering the wind was at the tail, or so the pilot had said. Either way, I already had my foot tapping uncontrollably with my nervous energy as the plane leveled out at thirty thousand feet.

"Edward," Tanya said, leaning over the seat. We were sat behind her. "Be a dear and take Bella into the bathroom. I think she needs some exercise."

Alice's hand tugged the woman next to her until she was out of sight. An apologetic smile was shot at us between the seats. I could have sworn if he were capable, Edward would have been blushing. He may have been quite the master and commander when it came to sex, but that seemed to be something no one else knew about him.

Before I could even bring it up, Rose and Emmett passed by hand in hand. I guess the suggestion had been taken seriously by some of our group after all.

"Thank God Jasper's not on this plane. In a enclosed space like this..." Alice trailed off. "Never mind. Scratch that."

"Do they all turn into horny mammals at altitude?" I whispered to Edward, who was running his finger along the seam on the arm of his chair.

"Have you met me?" Tanya laughed, once again popping up over the seat she occupied. "But no, it's not the altitude, just the stressful situation. The need to touch one another and remind yourself what's waiting for you or that you're alive is an instinct for most living creatures. Humans do it too. It's just not as strong as it is in a mated pair. Which is exactly why I suggested that Edward–"

She was almost violently tugged out of view by Alice again. Her words floated around in my head before they settled into place. I looked over at Edward from under my lashes. Was that what was going on between the two of us? Why I felt so drawn to him? Why I could never let go of him?

"We're mated?"

"Now she catches on." Tanya mumbled cheerfully. Alice shot her a look, and if her lips hadn't have moved, I would never have known why Tanya cursed in Russian under her breath.

Edward turned in his seat to face me pulling my focus away from the two women bickering silently in front of us. His mouth opened and closed a couple of times before he ran his hands through his hair. He looked like he was trying to find the right words to explain, but in the end, he simply said:

"Yes."

The air left my lungs in a rush as I stared at him, years of heartache rushing back and barraging my mind in wave after wave of darkness and light. The most predominant of memories was standing in that forest after he'd walked away and my body gravitating toward him until I truly felt alone.

"Then you knew that your promise to me was–"

"No. I didn't," he said, reaching out and taking my hand. "It wasn't until I had been apart from you that I truly knew. I had no idea it was the same for you. Humans don't tend to..."

"Imprint?" I asked, unable to find any other explanation. It was different to what the wolves went through, but the concept was similar in theory. We were drawn to one another. The moment we'd acknowledged our love for one another there was some tie there that couldn't be broken. It wasn't one of those look at one another and know, it was a slow burn, until there was an undeniable connection.

"For lack of a better term. Yes."

A couple of months earlier, and I was certain that I would have ripped him a new asshole and pointed fingers. Blaming him for all the pain I'd endured, but I found that I was glad there was an explanation. Glad that I knew what we had was the real deal and my feelings were honest. So, rather than throwing around accusations, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his.

He seemed surprised by my actions, but reciprocated eagerly, his tongue gently running along my bottom lip. As the kiss slowed, I could feel the corners of his mouth curl into a smile.

"Not what I was expecting," he said against my lips, his hands running down from the top of my head until he was cradling my neck.

"Me either," I answered honestly. "But I feel like we've wasted enough time over this and I just don't want to waste anymore. It would have been nice of you to acknowledge it a little sooner, but we can't change the past."

"No matter how much I wish I could," he said, pulling back.

I leaned my forehead against his and sighed. I'd loved him all these years, hating myself for it. I'd fooled myself into thinking that I could get over him, I'd gone through a couple dozen men in the belief that one more and my heart would be free of him, but it never had been. Each of those men had something that reminded me of him, something that gave me a small connection to the man I was supposed to be with. I was certain that the heroin had helped fool my stupid heart into believing it, but my soul had known. The emptiness I felt when I woke up next to them had more than said it.

Then there was Jacob. There had been a side of me that felt at home with him, that had allowed me to look past what I had with Edward and honestly give the two of us a shot. Unfortunately, he more than proved that he hadn't felt the same way. If you love and respect someone, you don't cheat on them. Even Sam had waited a while before giving in to his imprint. He'd loved and respected Leah, and letting her go had hurt him.

All this time, and all these mistakes, only to find my heart had been right the first time.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Decisions," I said back, popping my lap belt and sliding into Edward's lap.

"Amen." Alice sighed in front of us.

I smiled, even though she couldn't see me. Decisions were, after all, her territory.

"What about them?" Edward asked.

"That I've made so many wrong ones, and the whole time it's my draw to you had been the right one."

Edward leaned forward and swept me into another kiss. a kiss that made this girls body react. Full curl of toes, explosions if fire in the gut and a burning need to get naked. When it came to Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, I, Isabella Marie Swan, was insatiable. From the feel of him, Edward felt the same way about me.

"Just go," Alice said almost choking.

"We're civilized beings, Alice. We can wait until we can get to the hotel."

"Then please, for the love of all that's holy... _Stop_ making decisions about what you're going to do to one another. I can see everything."

Tanya let out a laugh and started making her own decisions, which only seem to make Alice growl in frustration. Before long, she picked up the phone in her seat and dialed a number, before she spoke in low tones. I could only assume it was Jasper and I was actually happy I didn't have super sensitive vampire hearing at that point.

When the plane finally landed, which felt like an eternity, adrenaline spiked in my body. I'd ended up falling asleep in Edward's lap on the flight. When I'd woken, seeing my old home lighting up the desert night had pushed me into hyper awareness of what was going to come next.

"Alice?" Tanya asked, leaning over, her finger getting perilously close to Alice's nose. "Snap out of it. We're here."

Edward and I leaned toward the space between the two seats. Alice's eyes were glazed over. She was seeing something, and whether it was from Jasper or someone else, I would never know. I had to depend on Edward to look into her mind.

"She knows," he said, cursing under his breath.

"What?"

"Victoria. Alice is watching her decisions flickering. She knows you're here and is trying to find a hole in our defenses." His eyebrows rose a little before he looked over at me. "She wants to keep Ryan."

"What?" I asked again. Sure Ryan was a catch by any standard, but wasn't she supposed to be mourning the loss of James. Her _mate_.

"Her decisions are all over the place."

The fasten seatbelts sign came on overhead and I slid into my seat and buckled up. It was amazing what you could get away with in first class. Had we been in the cattle class I would have been asked to return to my seat long before I'd passed out on his lap.

"What do you mean she wants to _keep_ him?"

Edward closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. That was not a good sign it was the neon sign that said _Edward's stressed out_. I leaned over and placed my hand on his arm, hoping the prompt would stop him from locking me out.

"She's going to change him. She's going to let his newborn thirst overcome him so he kills you. She knows the guilt will force a connection between them."

"Where is she?" I growled.

Fuck not being able to kill her. I would fuck that bitch up if she turned him into a vampire. He'd done nothing to deserve that. Especially not the way she would teach him. Under her watch he would become an animal, and I would never allow that. He still had his whole life in front of him, and I just knew he wanted to live it. I'd seen that longing in him, he'd seen it with me I'd caught it in his eyes in that moment in the bathroom when he'd wanted to save me.

"I can't see," Alice said, her frustration breaking her concentration. "But she will come looking for you."

"Then she's going to find me."

"Bella–" Edward started but cut himself off.

"Just hear me out. I have a plan."

I went over what I figured would be my best bet. I filled in every detail I could think that would ease the stress it would put on the others. Every argument they offered, I countered. I was terrified of Victoria, but that wasn't going to stop me this time. If I could save Ryan, I would do it.

The moment we got off the plane and met up with the others, we filled them in. Alice ran through what she'd seen and I once again revealed my plan. With the resources the Cullens had, I knew it could be done. I also knew just the person to ask.

"You know that sex because of stress thing?" Edward murmured as we entered the hotel.

"Yeah."

"I'm thinking that's going to be a necessity."

My steps faltered and I stopped walking, easing myself against his body, letting my hands running down his cheeks until I was cradling his jaw. He didn't move the whole time I was touching him, I don't even think he took a breath.

"This is going to work."

"I don't doubt it."

I smiled and kissed him, my hand grabbing his as I led him to the elevator. Carlisle handed Edward a key and smiled with a knowing nod. There was no doubt in my mind that he understood. In fact, I was certain we weren't the only ones going to let off a little steam.

Everything seemed to fade out other than the hand in mine. I almost missed the command to be in the penthouse suit in two hours as I towed Edward onto our floor and down the corridor. It wasn't until I unlocked the door that he took control of the situation. He pushed me up against the wall face first, kicking the door close behind him as he reached around my body and unbuttoned my jeans.

His need for me made my body respond in turn. His aggression made my sex dampen. He pushed my jeans to the floor without question and I stepped out of them as I heard the fly of his open. In a breath, his hands caught mine and pushed them against the wall as he growled the command to stay.

My body blossomed as he situated my hips, the thick head of him nudging at my sex.

This wasn't about making love, or even expressing our love for one another. This was pure need driven by desperation. It was the need to feel the other and make the physical connection, to know that the other was there.

"What do you want, Bella?"

"I want you to fuck me, Edward."

His pushed inside me in one long, rough stroke. My breath exhaled on a satisfied moan. My body stretching to accommodate the intrusion of his length as his hands slammed down over mine. It was what I needed. I could feel every inch of him as he filled my body, mind and soul. He retracted slowly, and pushed back in as my hips moved to meet his. My head, which felt loose on my neck, fell forward between the two hands pressed up flat against the wall.

He was relentless as he took me. His hips moving in a rhythm as I met him with every stroke. He ripped the shirt I was wearing without apology as he pounded into me, his hands pushing my bra out of the way as he gripped my breasts and pinched my nipples. The sensation was almost too much, I could feel my gut coiling and readying to strike as my whole body shuddered with the pleasure that was eating me alive.

I came violently, crying out as my fingers curled against the wall of the hotel room and my ass slammed back against the cradle of his, hips my body clamping down around him. He pulled my body against his, one hand on my stomach as he continued to pump gently, the other was by my mouth as I accepted his finger into my mouth and sucked.

"I want to see your face." He whispered in my ear. "I want to kiss you, and watch as you come again."

I nodded, and almost whined when he pulled out of me and scooped me into his arms. In less than a second, my ass hit the cool wood of the writing desk. My damp body slid to the edge as he tugged me toward him with his hands gripping my hips to keep me in place. He looked down between us and watched as he entered me inch by beautifully agonizing inch.

I would never get used to the feel of him inside of me. Every time is seemed to be a miracle I couldn't put into words. His hips slapped against mine as he stopped yet again, examining my face. I wasn't sure what he was looking for, but the hunger burning in his eyes made my body arch and my head fall loose on my shoulders.

He took me hard and fast. His body slapping against mine as he growled that I look at him. I acquiesced, my eyes meeting his as another powerful climax claimed my body. I shuddered and locked around him, milking him for his own. He let out a roar of pleasure before burying himself inside of me and releasing. His eyes flashed with love, sending me rolling infinitely into euphoria.

* * *

**Authors Note: **Horny bastards can't keep their hands off one another. Not that I can blame them when they don't know what they're about to face. That's one thing I never understood about disaster movies... You'd think an asteroid heading toward earth/threat of alien invasion, etc., you'd want that proof of life. That's just me though.

As always, thank you guys for reading, adding to alerts and faves, and of course for the amazing reviews. I read every one of them and I am so humbled that you take the time to let me know what you think. I love you guys!

PinkIndeed, I have missed you and I was glad to catch up with you this week in the five seconds I had to do so lol! love ya!

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie... There are no words, but I know you know!

**MWAH! **


	28. Chapter 28: Rook Takes Bishop

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 28: Rook Takes Bishop**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_And these clouds surround us__  
__Only black and greys I see__  
__And we found, this time, on__  
__Our weakness it will feed_

_**The Swarm by You Me At Six**_

* * *

Edward and I made our way up to the penthouse, fully sated and completely wrapped up in post coital bliss. I knew it wouldn't last long, but for the two hours we'd had together we'd had no time to think about what was coming. That was kind of the point. In all honesty, if that's how Edward wanted to work out the frustration of me being in danger, then I was all for it. It was better than getting pissed off at one another and having a shouting match about being pig-headed and stubborn. Though the thought of make-up sex was, in all actuality, just as appealing.

As much as I would love to have locked myself in that hotel room with him, we were there for a reason. Ryan was in danger, and I had to get to him before Victoria followed through and bit him as she'd wanted to. I would never forgive myself if she had snacked on him while I was getting off. Edward was under the impression that she was holding off because she wanted me to see her destruction, and when I thought about it, I couldn't disagree. She was a sick little puppy, and the only kind I would ever gladly kick with any kind of enthusiasm.

The truth was; she wanted to see me suffer. It had become her motivation in her long life. I had a feeling that the only reason she was still moving was to see my demise. After the conversation about mates, it was easy to understand her holding onto something to keep her going. My only question was... Why me?

"You're quiet."

"Just thinking." I smiled up at him, before squeezing our linked fingers. He nodded, and I could see the question in his eyes, but he didn't ask. He probably thought I would consider it an intrusion. "About how I would like longer in that room with you."

He smiled down at me and wrapped his arm around my waist as the doors to the elevator opened. The huge suite, which was the very same one I had been brought to when Edward had kidnapped me, was full to the brim with our friends and family. It seemed as though we were the last to arrive. Any other circumstances, and I was sure we would have heard running commentary from Emmett, but as it was, the mood was somber.

Now that everyone was there, they all fell into action within one breath and the next. Delegating tasks that needed to be done. Talking about what needed to be taken care of in order to get this executed the right way. My plan, though they didn't like it, was being implemented.

"Bella, you're going to meet with this guy?"

"Yeah. I know him pretty well. I think he'll be more than eager to help once he can see the money. He'll watch my ass when we get there. He said it's a bad side of town but he's got my back."

"I assume you will go with her, Edward?" Carlisle asked gently.

Edward looked at me and back at Carlisle. "I thought you wanted me with Alice and Jasper to hunt Victoria's location?"

"I do, but I assumed..." Carlisle trailed off, unsure how to proceed.

"Do you trust this guy, Bella?" Edward asked, looking down at me. I could see he would love to jump at the opportunity to go with me, but considering I'd outed him to Dave as a perverted seventeen-year-old boy, I doubted it would go smoothly. Dave had a good memory for faces that he'd ejected from the club. I also trusted him implicitly. He and Ryan were friends, and he'd been good to me while I was working there.

"Absolutely."

"Then she doesn't need me with her. The guy will recognize me, and I can't say he will be happy about my accompanying her. I wasn't exactly polite. If Bella trusts him, that's all I need to know."

"And I'll go with her." Tanya volunteered. "I want to see where she worked, and no one would suspect little old me of being deadly backup."

"Then I guess we're set. We'll all meet back here before sunrise. Then tomorrow night we'll bait the trap."

"Not digging the metaphor, C," Emmett said.

Carlisle looked apologetically at me, but I shrugged. Essentially, it's exactly what we were doing. I hadn't taken offense to the way he'd worded it. He seemed appeased by my lack of reaction and apologized to Emmett. I could understand why he didn't particularly enjoy it. He'd spend the last couple of months protecting me.

Once everyone knew where they were supposed to be, and what they were supposed to be doing, Tanya danced over to me with a wide mischievous grin.

"You don't mind do you?"

"No," I said, grinning back at her. "I'm sure Dave will be more than helpful with you around."

"He likes blondes?"

"He likes women." I clarified. Dave had always had a healthy sex life, he'd never once come on to me, but then again, I knew how close he and Ryan were. Knowing now how Ryan had felt about me, it stood to reason Dave would have backed off.

"Oh, goodie, my favorite kind."

"He has a penis. Isn't that your only requirement?"

"I do have some taste, and standards."

I laughed. I had only been teasing her, and she'd known it. I had, after all, been out with her on occasion. Though I was enjoying the playful banter, I couldn't ignore the fact that part of my mind was still focused on the task at hand, and what I was trying to achieve. I was worried about how this was going to go down, and what I was about to do.

Carlisle headed toward me as Tanya and I stood on the edge of the room as the groups arranged themselves and gave me a bag. When I opened it I almost swallowed my tongue, it was filled to the brim with Benjamin's. I couldn't hazard a guess at how much money that was, and I wasn't about to embarrass myself by guessing.

"If you need more, call me," he said gently, concern coloring his tone. I knew he was worried, we had reformed part of the closeness we'd had before they'd left, and I truly believed that he considered me one of his adoptive children. Just slightly less hardy than the others as it were.

"I think this will be plenty."

"We want top of the line equipment. We're not taking any risks with your life. Do you understand?"

I nodded and zipped the thing up. He handed me a set of keys for one of the rentals and I took it without question. I couldn't believe I was about to head out into the underbelly of sin city. Living in the place for two years, I was well aware where tourists should never roam, and where residents should steer clear of. I'd managed to avoid ever venturing into the maelstrom and now I was volunteering. You'd have thought high Bella would have been more likely to wander into the jaws of the criminal lairs. Yet I was completely sober.

Craving, but sober.

"Please, be careful. Tanya, if there's any trouble get Bella and yourself out of there."

"Not even a question of it, dearest."

He nodded and moved away to the next group, who were getting ready to leave the suite. I checked my phone and took a deep breath. We had to head out if we were going to meet Dave at the time we'd agreed to. We were meeting him at the club at the end of his shift. I was nervous about going back there now I was clean. Most of my memories there were in a hazy cloud. I wasn't sure what I would feel when the gut vibrating bass of the music hit me.

Stifling the projected anticipation, I gave Edward a quick kiss, and a promise to be careful before heading down in the elevator to the parking garage with Tanya skipping merrily at my side.

The Mercedes gleamed under the lights of the parking garage and I was suddenly unsure of getting behind the wheel. I couldn't imagine leaving this on the curb outside of where we were going. The wheels would probably be missing before we'd even entered the shop. I actually had a moment of missing my POS that was never in danger of that particular fate.

"You okay?"

"Just worried about the safety of this piece of machinery." I admitted, unlocking the car with the key fob. "From what Dave said it's not the best part of town, and not the best part of town here has a tendency to be dangerous and free from morals."

"Shit happens, sweetie. We can take all the precautions to stop it from happening, but it is what it is. We'll figure it out if we have to."

"Easy for you to say. I don't have a couple hundred thousand to replace it."

"I do."

I shook my head and climbed in behind the wheel. It was like a damn spaceship with all the buttons and gadgetry. I couldn't imagine finding the air conditioning, let alone starting the damn thing. Tanya snickered as I finally figured the damn thing out. Who the hell pushed a button to start the ignition?

I tore from the garage, loving the feel of the engine's purr as I pulled out into the traffic on the main strip where the colorful lights and attraction played away as they did every night. Crowds were gathered close together at different intervals. There was always something going on.

Tanya seemed to take in the scenery as I drove. She asked questions and I answered as best I could. I hadn't spent much time on the strip even in the almost two years I had been there.

When I finally pulled into the club's parking lot, Tanya was wide eyed and laughing her ass off at the name. She was having the time of her life, and we hadn't done anything yet.

Perplexed, I pulled up under the awning outside the door where there was still a line to get in. The place stayed open all the time, they had a special license or something. It wasn't as though I'd been eager to know the inner workings of the place. I'd needed money. With that objective achieved I hadn't really paid much more attention to the goings on.

I rolled down the window, feeling a little weird being at the place sober. It felt like a lifetime since I'd been inside the place. If I'd been in a more philosophical mood, I probably would have speculated that it was, actually, another life... A life, in which, I'd been a junkie.

"Hey hot stuff." I shouted at the huge guy leaning against the door looking as though he were bored. He looked up from his post, his eyes going wide before he scanned the rest of the area around. He seemed unsure of what he would find. When he finally relaxed, he looked over at me more carefully.

"Bella?"

"Have I changed that much?" I asked, grinning at him.

"I dunno, get out and let me see you. You win the lotto or something?" he asked, pointing to the car.

"No. It's a loaner." I replied. Throwing the thing in park and opening the door. I climbed out and danced toward the guy. Throwing my arms around him as he caught me.

Dave hugged me tightly to him before he pushed me back and held me at arms length. He looked tired, and I could only assume that came from worrying, but he looked genuinely happy to see me.

"So you got clean and put on some weight. I have to say, baby girl, it suits you."

"I knew I couldn't hide anything from you."

He gave me a smile that made me feel at ease, and yelped as he pulled me against him again. "I missed that smile of yours. Place hasn't been the same without you."

"Thank you," I said snuggling him. "And thanks for the heads up about the red head."

"The bitch was annoying. You heard her talk? It's like she's sucking in helium. I kept picturing the chipmunks. There's something real off about that one though. I've been trying to track her down, 'cuz I know she has Ryan."

"Yeah I've heard her talk before. You shouldn't have followed her though, Dave, she's lethal. If she found out..." I closed my eyes and shook my head. I wasn't sure how to explain this to him. "Just promise me after you call and tell her I'm in town, you'll drop it."

"Why the fuck did she take him, Bella?"

"To get to me. I can't explain everything without dragging you into a big fucking mess, but I will get him back. I just need your help to get some recon stuff."

"What have you got yourself into, baby girl?"

"Something that I can't talk about. Just trust me when I say I've got this."

He led me away from the clubs doors where people were starting to listen without invitation. One of the other bouncers stepped up and took up the position without being asked. That was always one thing about the club. The security always had your back mainly because Ryan and Dave ran a tight ship.

"You got money?" He asked, gripping the back of his neck and looking uncomfortable. I hated asking him to do this, because it only pulled him deeper into the mess, but he was the only person I knew that could get me the things I needed. He'd been a Navy SEAL and he was always playing with shit.

"Yeah, and I need the best of the best."

"You known me to get anything less?"

"No sir."

"Who's in the car?"

"Friend of mine," I said, waving in Tanya's direction. When the door cracked open and she pushed to her full height, I looked back at Dave and laughed. "You want me to roll your tongue back in?"

"Where the hell did you go to rehab, baby girl?"

"I didn't. I had a little help from my friends. Tanya," I said as she stopped her pendulum impression with her hips and looked up at Dave with fluttering eyelashes. "This is Dave, or Big D as he's known around here. Dave, this is Tanya."

"Preevyet." Tanya offered him her hand; her accent was thick and heavy as she spoke in her native tongue. I'd seen this working before, and as Dave practically drooled, she gave him a sexy smile. "It means hi."

"Hi yourself."

"So, are you going to be able to help us get what we need?" She asked, her arm snaking around my waist.

I had to give it to the girl; she knew how to operate the heavy machinery that was man. Dave simply gawked, his eyes glazing over as I could only imagine what was turning over in his mind.

"I can help you with anything you need," he finally said, shaking away whatever fantasy he'd been having. "But we're taking my car. If we arrive in that thing we're going to look like neon signs in a dark alley. You go park it, Bella."

I rolled my eyes and left the two of them talking as I made my way back to the car to do as I'd been asked. I slid into a spot under one of the signs that flashed with pink. The sheen on the car seemed to light up with each switch of the neon's. It would be impossible to steal the damn thing when it was lit up like the strip. I pulled out the bag and locked the thing up tight before heading toward the rebuilt muscle car Dave had Tanya up against.

His huge body was leaned into hers, his arms on either side of her head as she flirted shamelessly with him. As much as I wanted to give them both time, we just didn't have it to waste.

"Lets do this."

Tanya smiled and sauntered to my side of the car. With her back to Dave she mouthed "wow" and fanned herself. I couldn't help rolling my eyes as I squeezed into the back seat and let her have shotgun. She folded herself in the picture of grace as I fell into the back with a thud. The big metal bar I landed on did nothing for my coccyx.

"Shit, Dave, you got to warn a girl."

"Sorry, baby girl. Been having some problems around here. The red head wasn't the only one asking about you. Some of those bastards have been persistent. Couple of them had some creepy ass red contacts too."

He started the engine and revved it until it sounded closer to eating us than carrying us to our destination. It was all manly and meaty, but lost on Tanya and I. She glanced back at me and over to him as he took off toward the exit.

"Wait. What?" Tanya asked, all composure gone. "How many?"

Dave seemed taken a back by the question as he pulled out of the clubs lot and onto the street. He looked in the rear view mirror at me, his eyes full of concern. Tanya's sudden change of composure had only seemed to alert him to the graveness of the situation.

"Seriously, baby girl, what have you got yourself into?"

I shrugged. There wasn't much more I could really say that would appease his curiosity. One mention of vampires and he'd be just as in danger as the rest of us. That, or he'd think the drugs had messed with my brain and think I was hallucinating.

"She's been in it a while. She was just good at hiding from it." Tanya clarified, her voice a little harder than it had been. "How many were there, Dave?"

"Red eyed freaks?" He asked, glancing once again at me through the mirror. I could tell that this sudden change in topic and the persistence, which Tanya was showing, made him feel uncomfortable.

Tanya just nodded, all of her concentration on him.

"Over the past couple of weeks, maybe two a day. Said they read about Trinity online wanted to see the show. When we told them she'd moved on, they just walked away. Then they started poking harder, suggesting we were lying to 'em."

"Fuck!" That was the extent of my loquaciousness.

"The bitch has built a fucking army." Tanya growled pulling out her phone. She dialed as Dave took a corner and I slid along the back bench seat. Taking the pipe to the leg.

"Just how aggressive did they get?" I asked, picking the thing up. I was surprised by its weight.

"The ones before Ryan disappeared tried to start a fight. Started fucking with the clients, even approached one of the girls as she was leaving. You know I don't go for that shit."

"I'm so sorry, D."

"Just tell me. You do something to get yourself in trouble?"

"Honestly. This is all about vengeance. I wish I could explain more, but the bitch is crazy and wants me dead."

"Jesus." He shook his head and pressed down on the gas. He seemed more desperate than ever to get me where I needed to go.

Needing a distraction, I focused on Tanya, as she finally seemed to get an answer.

"Carlisle, we have a big fucking problem." She paused. "I never said I was a lady. The point is she's made some newborns." Pause. "Yes Victoria. Who else would I be talking about?" She listened for a while, and I could only imagine Carlisle was updating the people there. "From a rough estimate, around thirty... She's fine."

Tanya handed the phone over the seat with a sigh. With the lump in my throat I wasn't exactly sure I could talk. An army? The thought terrified me.

"Hello?"

"_Bella, it's Carlisle. Are you safe?_"

"Safe as I can be, I would imagine." I replied.

"_How were you able to determine that Victoria has built an army?_"

"My friend basically said the last two weeks have consisted of people with red eyes looking for me."

"_How was she able to do that without the creating havoc. Newborns are bloodthirsty, there's no way they would be able to hang around without taking a chunk out of someone._"

"Maybe they're not newborns. Hang on." I held the phone to my shoulder and leaned forward. "Hey these freaks, did they do anything weird?"

"You mean other than rough up a couple of patrons? They were mean as hell and looked to be in a bad mood. That's all I can tell you. Didn't waste much time talking to them."

I held the phone back up to my ear. "You hear that?"

"_This changes things. Come back to the hotel as soon as you've finished._"

"You got it."

"_And Bella... Be safe._" I could once again hear the concern in his voice. He didn't like that I was out here at all and knowing they'd been at the club regularly seemed to only make that worse. I couldn't say it did much for me either.

"Will do. Talk to you soon."

I hung up the phone and handed it to Tanya. She slid it into her pocket and turned in her seat to face me. I could see the worry in her face. The stakes were higher, yet she seemed to know I wasn't going to back down.

"He's right. This changes things. The situation just got really dangerous, Bella."

"We'll figure all of that out at the hotel. Lets just get this done and we'll figure out the rest later."

I clapped Dave on the shoulder in reassurance and sat back against the seat, trying not to think what I had avoided by making the decisions I had. If they'd been scouting the place for two weeks, it sounded like my dream had hit around the time the first set had shown up. Why hadn't Ryan mentioned these freaks showing up when I'd called to check in on him?

Tanya and Dave fell into a comfortable, and safe, conversation in the front of the car. While I tried not to think about what the hell kind of trouble Ryan was in. According to Alice, Victoria still hadn't made her decision about whether or not to change Ryan, but I doubted we'd have much time if she knew we were in Vegas. I prayed for the day she would be out of my life for good. The day I wouldn't have to look over my shoulder anymore.

For the last six years, I'd been haunted by the night I was almost killed by James, all because she wouldn't let it rest. For the last almost two and a half, I'd been hiding from anyone who meant something to me. I'd refused to make contact with people I cared about or make new friends in the event she was watching. Yet, here I was, in the position I'd feared, with the one person who had managed to wiggle his way into my life.

Now, I was risking someone else. I was risking Dave's life by asking him to help us. The sooner I was able to get to her and finally rid myself of her vengeance, maybe then I could really breathe for the first time since the night on the clearing when the Cullens had played baseball.

Dave pulled up to a curb outside of what looked to be an abandoned building. There was plywood over the windows and the sigh over the lace had long ago broken in half and now sadly stated –kers. There were people lingering on street corners, homeless arranging boxes or picking through trash, and several of the streetlights were out. There were a dozen or so other abandoned building with graffiti and tags all over the boarding on the windows. There was also no sign whatsoever of a LVPD cruiser in sight, and I doubted there would be.

"You follow my lead, both of you. This motherfucker is paranoid as hell. He knows me, but he's gonna be cautious. Technology isn't the only shit he sells if you catch my drift."

"Not a problem," Tanya said, glancing back at me. "You stay behind me."

I nodded once, enduring a strange look from Dave. I could see him looking at me as though he were trying to figure out why I needed to be the one protected. I wasn't going to tell him that it was because my pretty friend was impervious to anything a human could throw at her. That was information he really didn't need.

Shaking his head, he got out of the car, and Tanya and I followed. Somehow the shop front definitely didn't give me the confidence I'd needed to get through this, but there was no turning back now. The game was afoot.

* * *

**Authors Note: **Both sides seem to have a little something hidden under their sleeves. It's like a game of chess in my head. Once one makes a move, the other has a strategic position to get the upper hand. I suppose that's how it works in battle. I should probably warn you there will be a little bit of tic tac toe before the end game. I'm hoping you will enjoy it.

Thank you all so much for reading, adding to your alerts and favorites, and of course for the reviews. I love hearing what you all have to say. I also love seeing your guesses of what's going to happen next.

Pinkindeed... You know I adore you. I am hoping to catch up with you again soon. I miss you!

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie... a girl couldn't ask for a better pair of friends. I love you both dearly!

**MWAH!**


	29. Chapter 29: Tick Tock

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 29: Tick Tock**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

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_Do you like the water tastes  
__Like Gunfire  
__And you knew but you could never say  
__Then come forth 'cause it's coming round  
__Round the water  
__**Beware by Deftones**_

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The store was no better inside than it was out. There was crap littering the floor and graffiti on the walls where there was peeling paint that seemed to be making a bid for freedom. The bare bulb from a lamp that sat on a dilapidated counter was almost blinding in the grimy darkness of the shop. For a moment I could almost imagine what it could have been, the jewelry cases filled with technology and firearms was a dead giveaway.

Dave seemed to look at me from the corner of his eye as I scanned the place. His look was apologetic. I knew this wasn't the kind of place he would normally take a woman. He was generally a gentleman. I could imagine that he was normally alone when he came here.

The only thing I was actually thankful for was the smell of _Febreze_ that seemed to eliminate anything that tried to permeate my nostrils and trigger my gag reflex. It was lingering around the edges, but it was something I could deal with when it was masked with lilacs. It was amazing that I wouldn't have blinked being in somewhere like this a couple of months ago. I guess H didn't enhance your taste.

I did as I was told and stayed behind Tanya. Half hidden by her lithe body as she fearlessly strode into the shop ahead of me. Dave was stood next to her, his head back and shoulders squared as he squinted toward the light. He smiled slightly and folded his thick arms over his chest.

"You're not scared of a couple of girls are you, Oleksandr?" He taunted.

"Idi na xuy husesos," Came the gravelly response. I wasn't sure what had been said, but the intonation was a fuck off if ever I heard one. Apparently the guy didn't like to be called out.

"Ukrainian?" Tanya asked, leaning into Dave. Dave didn't say anything he just nodded his response, obviously surprised by Tanya's knowledge. That was the thing about vampires. Most of them knew several languages and could tame the wildest lion with a calm voice and commanding tone. Tanya was no different in that respect.

She stepped forward, nodded her head in greeting and started talking a language that sounded very close to her native Russian, she and the guy behind the counter played verbal tennis until he finally started laughing and sidled out from behind the light.

His voice did not match his stature. The deep resonant tone of his had implicated that he was the size of Dave or Emmett, but I found myself looking at someone only slightly taller than myself, and a staunch around his midsection. He was just average. Terribly and wonderfully average. It didn't, however, mean that I trusted him. As Dave had said, he was paranoid and from what I understood, Ukrainians were known to be feral and acted on impulse.

"You finally brought me someone worthy, David," Oleksandr said in his thick accent, he raised his arms in greeting. "Please, ladies, call me Olek. No need for such formalities."

"Yeah, sure." Dave drawled, shifting slightly. "We need some shit."

Olek looked over at him and narrowed his eyes. Obviously taking the frame of the sentence as a slight against the goods he was selling. I was sure they were the best top of line, and fallen off the back of a truck, products you would find in Vegas. It was a hotbed for back room exchanges and nefarious dealings that hid behind the shiny lights and cheerful sonorousness of slot machines. You could literally find anything if you dug deep enough.

"I do not sell _shit_ as you so eloquently put it, my friend. You either wish to buy good product or you don't. The choice is yours."

Dave rolled his eyes, his whole body highlighting the act as though he was already bored with this man.

"Cut the crap, Olek."

Olek swore in his own language, and I was happy not to understand, especially as it seemed to amuse Tanya so much. She seemed to visibly relax now that they'd formed some kind of understanding. Tanya settled a hand on Dave's arm and stepped forward; chatting away in a dialect I had no chance in hell of understanding. She moved toward the man and he seemed happy to deal with her, while Dave pulled me to the side.

I wasn't thrilled considering we seemed to get closer to the source of the smell that was tainting the faux fresh scent of the air freshener, but I shook it off. Tanya was chatting with Olek and he was flitting about the cabinets picking out what she needed, shooting back more words that may as well have been Greek to me.

"You going to tell me what's going on?" Dave asked under his breath as he glanced at the two chatting civilly in another language. He seemed uncomfortable that there was a barrier there. He obviously didn't trust Olek, but then he was an underground arms dealer, why would you trust him?

"You know most of it."

"Bella. Don't treat me like I'm an idiot. You're in deep shit. You're hanging with a Russian chick who is more than comfortable with someone that could easily put a knife in her back as flirt with her. You have some creepy motherfuckers stalking you and a red headed bitch that seems determined to get to you through any means possible, including taking Ryan. Talk to me."

I wasn't sure how to explain it without bringing vampires and vengeance into it, but I had no choice. I had to give him something. He was risking his reputation and his life to help us. If that didn't warrant some kind of explanation I didn't know what did.

"The red head, Victoria, she and her... partner came after me because of an association I had to a group they were opposed against. Her partner tried to kill me, but my friends intercepted and killed him instead. She didn't take it well and has been shadowing me since. I was protected against her for years, even after my friends left to keep me safe, but she got to my family and killed my father. I changed my name when I got here and tried to have some semblance of a life, but she found me. My friends helped me sober up and we're trying to... Um, eliminate? The problem."

Dave scrubbed the stubble on his jaw and shook his head. It wasn't as detailed as he would have liked, but something told me he understood that I'd given him everything I'd could. The pregnant silent hung between us as the Russian sounding dialect continued on without interruption.

"How does Ryan factor into all of this?"

"He tried to protect me. She's smart and knows he would only do that if he cared. If he cares about me, she has to assume I care about him, and she's right I do care. If she can't get directly at me, she will find a way to draw me in."

"Tell me one thing. Is this the reason you never let anyone in?"

I nodded. Hoping that he understood why I stayed so distant while he and Ryan tried to treat me with such kindness.

"I had to keep everyone at arms length. If there was a chance she was watching, I couldn't give her ammunition against me."

Dave wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest. He was warm, and solid, his heart beating its rhythmic pulse under my ear. After being with Edward again, this seemed to be the anomaly to me. I hadn't let anyone human into my life for so long.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. Truly I am. Do you think... Well, did he ever have a chance with you?"

"Ryan?" I asked, tilting my head up to look at him. Dave nodded, his face filled with sadness. "Maybe in another life or a different circumstance, but I've been in love with someone else for years. He came back into my life recently and I realized what an idiot I've been. Nothing changed there though, huh?"

"Are you happy?"

"When I know Ryan's safe I will be." I answered honestly. The truth was, the thought of a future with Edward was enticing.

Dave nodded and stepped away from me, his smile was genuine as he regarded me. I felt better knowing that the air had been cleared and he has some base knowledge of what was going on. There was still something I think he felt as though he needed to ask. I could almost see it lingering behind his eyes as he regarded me.

"Bella, honey. We need the money." Tanya purred in her sexiest voice.

I nodded and pulled the bag off my shoulder and headed toward the two of them, unhappy that I had to leave the conversation before getting the last of it from Dave. He didn't leave my side as the money was exchanged with the goods Tanya had managed to get from Olek. As Dave had observed, she did seem at ease doing business with the Ukrainian, just as the man seemed to be at ease doing the deal with her. There seemed to be an understanding between them that made the transaction seem almost normal.

Dave and Tanya grabbed the two bigger boxes, while I grabbed a reinforced case and headed to the door, which I held open for the other two. The street was almost quiet as we stepped onto it. The homeless were settling down for the night, and the corner dealers seemed to have moved on while we'd been inside. It really didn't make me feel any safer.

I slipped into the back seat and sat slowly, making sure the metal bar wasn't anywhere near me as I dropped the case next to me. My ass still hurt from sitting on it the first time around. Tanya got in, followed closely by Dave after they'd stored everything else in the trunk. Now we had everything we needed, anticipation began to claw at my gut like a warning.

It wasn't until we'd made it halfway back to the club that the reason for it made itself known. Tanya, who had been still and silent since we'd started moving, turned in her seat to face me.

"Open that case you have there, Bella. Pull out the pin and hide it somewhere no one would think to look for it."

"What? I thought–" I clamped my jaw shut as she gave me a look that more than clearly said shut the hell up and do as you're told. Dave eyed me through the mirror, but I shrugged and did as Tanya asked. Edward and I had discussed the safest place to attach a tracking device, and we'd both agreed my underwear was the only thing that would be left alone should Victoria be the one looking. I lifted my body from the seat and undid my button and zipper and peeled them back, attaching the small device just below the elastic waistband of my panties. It was so small I could barely see it there. I buttoned back up and nodded at Tanya.

She waited until I had settled back in my seat before she acted. Another look to me seemed to satisfy her...

Then she pulled a gun and stuck it to Dave's temple.

"What the fuck?" He growled, his eyes flickering from to the road to Tanya.

"Oh don't you dare play coy with me you asshole. You set my girl up. We've had someone tracking us since we left, and Olek confirmed the suspicion when he told me you'd been in there with a red head two days ago."

"Shitty mother fucking fuck, Dave! Why?"

"She was going to kill Ryan and me both. I had to do what I had to do."

"Fuck you." I lurched forward and threw a punch at his head that had the car veering of the road while he was temporarily stunned. I hit, slapped and scratched as the car weaved into oncoming traffic. I was so mad that I wanted to twist his big fat head off his shoulders. I just couldn't understand how he'd betrayed me like that. I'd trusted him.

As he overcorrected, the metal bar fell into my side.

"I never meant to hurt you." He grunted. "I'm sorry, Bella. There was nothing I could do. It was help her or get killed. You honestly think that I would–"

He didn't get time to finish the statement. I'd hit him over the head with the metal bar.

He slumped in his seat quickly and the car started gradually veering to the right. Tanya jumped into action, shoving him out of the way and taking the wheel as his unconscious body pitched to the side so his head hit the passenger window with a thump.

I'd just knocked somebody out.

"Fuck. Me."

"I keep telling you I'm into guys!" Tanya said, with a relaxed tone that just didn't fit the situation. She pulled her phone from her pocket and threw it over the chair at me as she gunned the engine until it growled and took off. "I swear it's such a waste. He was cute. Shame he's a backstabbing motherfucker. Call Edward and tell him we need a pickup."

"Huh?" I asked. My brain felt as though it was misfiring. Everything that had just happened felt like an outer body experience. I had attacked someone I had considered a friend of sorts, I had knocked him out in a rage. Now Tanya, who'd managed to pick up on his betrayal, was calm as tepid water and asking me to call Edward. Was she out of her fucking mind?

"Head in the game, honey. I have no doubt that bitch has someone trailing us. We need back up so we can get back to the hotel without a major fucking catastrophe on our hands. Just take a deep breath... There you go."

How the hell had this gone so wrong so quickly? I'd thought Dave cared. I thought he'd understood. Why wouldn't he warn us? Why would he just go with Victoria's plan? Was she holding something over him? Something other than his life? Or Ryan's?

"Bella."

I pulled the phone in to my shaking hands and tried to scroll through the contacts. I found Edward easily and held it to my ear as I stared out the window at the lights as Tanya seemed to circle back toward the Ukrainians shop.

"_What's up T?_" Edward's calm voice eased the last of the fog away from my mind and brought the circuits of my brain back on line.

"Edward, it's Bella."

"_What's wrong? You sound weird._"

"Dave betrayed me. I think it was to try and save Ryan, but all the same he fucked us over."

"_Where is he?_"

I looked at the body of the man, leaning face first in the window. He was still motionless. I hated the guilt that seemed to rise in my chest at the scene. It wasn't like he hadn't deserved it.

"I um, knocked him out."

Edward growled down the line. I wasn't sure what it was all about, and I wasn't going to ask. We had something more dire to worry about than his reaction.

"_Where's Tanya?_"

"Driving. She thinks we're being followed. She's driving like a bat out of hell–" Tanya took a corner and sent me careening to the other side of the car in a tumble.

"Sorry."

"_Bella?_" Edward shouted down the phone.

I righted myself and took another deep breath as my free hand grabbed the "oh shit" handle above my head.

"We need a pick up."

"_Where?_"

Tanya took another corner and skidded the car to a stop as she almost hit three men stood in the street acting like a roadblock. Without a thought, she threw the car in reverse and gunned it, the engine growling as Dave's big body slid down to the floor. She slammed it into gear and took off, as I turned and looked out of the back window. The vampires were close to the tail end of the car, legs and arms pumping as the headed toward us. I finally understood why she'd told me to put the tracker on before she'd confronted Dave.

"New York, New York," Tanya said as she hit a button on the dash, throwing me back into my seat. The phone tumbled out of my hand as we flew through several red lights getting ahead of the vampires behind us. I just wasn't sure that it was going to be enough. "Bella, down."

I flattened myself on the seat and found the phone on the floorboard as something flew through the glass at the back of the car, showering me with splintered shards. I saw the bar rolling under the seat and gripped it in my hands, forgetting the phone as I saw an arm stretch in through the window. I rolled onto my back, sat up and swung like I was Sammy fucking Sosa.

"That's my girl." Tanya shouted and she took another corner sending the stunned vampire onto the asphalt. Both of my arms shot out to either side of me, locking me in the middle of the seat. "Did you see that fuckers face? He was not expecting that."

I wasn't sure how the woman was able to be so together while we were being stalked by vampires, who seemed hell bent on stopping us. My eyes were locked on the back of the car, watching the body get up from the ground and join the others in pursuit, but all I could hear was Tanya's laughter.

"Another corner." She sang as the back of the car slid out from under us. I was suddenly blinded by the bright lights of the main strip and understood her happiness. There was no way they would expose themselves with that many people around, and as they appeared from the corner, the thought was confirmed.

"Too close." I whimpered.

"I know. But back up is waiting for us," she said with a reassuring tone as she turned normally into the huge brightly lit area of a casino. I'd never been so glad to see a huge group of people in my life.

As Tanya eased the car to a stop, the door was almost pulled from the hinges, and before I could turn, I was dragged from the car and embraced in strong arms that held me to a strong body. I could hear Emmett and Rosalie close by, but my face was buried in the chest as hands moved over me, feeling for damage.

"Bella." Edward breathed into my hair. "You're safe."

I relaxed into his body, even though the adrenaline was pumping through my veins making my limbs restless. I felt another body being pulled in beside me and turned my head to see Tanya looking a little shocked. Though her grin was evident.

"Well, isn't this nice."

I rolled my eyes but returned the smile as my heart finally started to slow down from the gallop it had been at since I'd knocked Dave out.

"Emmett. Get rid of the car once you've got the equipment out. Make sure that guy is hurting when he wakes up."

"My pleasure. Rose you up to the task?"

I heard two of the doors closing and figured it must have been a yes. I felt bad for Dave, he was only trying to save himself and his friend, but there was a huge part of me that didn't care. He'd been leading me into the hornets nest with honey. A few bruises were more than deserved for his part in it.

"Come on, we need to meet up with Alice and Jasper, then we need to get to the hotel without being cornered."

I was released from the embrace lightly, but my hand was picked up as Edward looked me over again, and plucked a few shards of glass from my hair. After being in the darkness of the street away from the strip, the glaring flashing bulbs under the pavilion of the hotel stung my eyes.

"Thanks, Tanya," he said genuinely.

"I hate to say it but it was kinda fun. You should have seen Bella swing at one of those vampires with the metal bar. She was phenomenal. Fearless."

"I wouldn't go quite that far." I breathed, leaning into Edward.

"I would. You just did it. There was no hesitation. You knew we had to shake him and you made it happen. I'm proud of you."

Edward laughed and kissed the top of my head. I was just happy that we'd made it. I never wanted to be in that situation again. Though I had to say, I felt wobbly on my legs after that journey in the car with Tanya driving. My whole body still felt as though it were being tossed about, even as we walked through the doors and into the lobby of the Hotel and Casino. Had it been any other time, I was certain I would have drank in the chimes of the machines or the mural that ran along the top of the lobby, but I was too invested in my own life to pay attention to any of that.

"Yeah well, you're the quick thinker. You made me put on that transmitter before you confronted him."

"I wasn't entirely sure we would get out of there. I wanted to make sure we could find you if that happened."

Edward's grip tightened on me. It was a mixture of reassuring himself that I was fine and there with him, and letting me know I was safe with him. It was nice knowing that he understood when I needed his reassurances and when I didn't. He seemed to have a deeper knowledge of me and the way I worked. The truth was, I needed all the comfort I could get in that moment. Everything had become startlingly real to me.

"What the hell happened out there?"

Tanya launched into the story in low tones. Hearing it from her point of view made a lot more sense than it had on mine. She was able to explain how she knew he was screwing us over and being followed. It was things I would never have noticed, the beat of his heart picking up, the smell of adrenaline, and the way his eyes wouldn't meet mine. When she explained her conversation with Olek, I finally got how she'd pieced everything together and managed to get the gun. Apparently it was a gift from the guy, he'd told her not to trust Dave.

I was glad she'd already figured that out on her own.

When we finally found Alice and Jasper in the din of the hotel, they both embraced me. They seemed as relieved as Edward had been that I was safe and that Tanya had been thinking on her feet. They weren't the only ones. I shuddered every time I thought about how close that had come to not being the case.

I tried to stay calm and focused while we talked with them, but it was impossible when I knew that I would be willingly walking into the hands of Victoria and the rest of her friends. I was certain they would try and talk me out of it now that they were outnumbered, but I couldn't leave Ryan there, not after I'd taken one of his hopes away from him.

* * *

**Authors Note: **Turned out to be a bit of a mess didn't it. I know that Dave's betrayal could be a shock to some of you, this is very layered and I'm hoping you will enjoy it. As for the Croatian... Let me explain that this was written almost exactly a year a go and though it seems untasteful to bring them into it, there's nothing I could do to change it at this point.

As always, thanks for reading, adding to alerts and favorites and for reviewing. You guys blow me away and I adore you for taking the time out to let me know what you think. You brighten my day when I get them and I hope you know how much I love y'all for taking the time out to do it.

PinkIndeed... I adore you! Thank you for being you!

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie... I am the luckiest for having you in my life. I love you both so much.

**MWAH! **


	30. Chapter 30: Waking Nightmares

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 30: Waking Nightmares**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_Pleading eyes that break my heart  
__So homesick I can't feel  
__But I know I must play my part  
__And tears I must conceal_

_**Just A Game by Birdy**_

* * *

"No. It's too dangerous."

Oddly, this wasn't Edward's statement. He was sat under me in one of the huge overstuffed chairs in the penthouse suite, his thumb running up and down my thigh impulsively. Everyone had reconvened up there, and I could see the sky outside the floor to ceiling windows developing a myriad of colors as the sun began to peek over the horizon.

The speaker, much to my surprise, was Laurent.

"You have no idea what she's capable of."

"I think that moment has passed." Tanya bit out. She was sat on the arm of the chair close to Edward and I. She'd stayed close since we'd left Olek's. It was almost as though she'd taken on the task of watching me personally. "I think we're more than aware of what this bitch is capable of."

"You learn of a couple newborns and ill intent and you think you know the scope of her capabilities? Not even you can be that naive, Tanya."

Tanya shot up from her perch, but I grabbed her arm and tugged her back down into a sitting position. The last thing we needed to do was turn on one another. She may have taken the advice, and planted her ass, but she still leaned forward looking lethal.

"Do not speak to me in that way, Laurent. Irina's mate or not I will remove your head with my bare hands."

"Stop. Both of you." Irina growled. "Your points were both made. We need a solution not more problems."

"I'm afraid that I am inclined to agree with Laurent," Carlisle finally said. He was leaning against the chair Esme was sat in. It was obvious he was uncomfortable saying it out loud. He didn't want to offend me, but he also didn't want me in danger. He was worried that I was going in over my head and leaving myself defenseless now Victoria had her own backup to keep the Cullens away.

I hadn't taken offense at his concern, and I wouldn't. I wasn't completely unreasonable, and I was planning on getting out of there alive. I wanted to save Ryan, but I wasn't going to help him by getting myself killed. Victoria wanted him, me dying would just mean she'd get her own way. This left me in an awkward situation. I was trying to make a decision I could live with. I knew I couldn't stand losing someone else to Victoria, but at the same time, I couldn't let myself die. It would mean that all of this, and my fathers death had been for nothing.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked as I leaned back against him.

"I don't know anymore." I answered honestly. "I don't think I can live with letting Ryan die, but I can't just give up and let her have me either. It would mean my dad's death was pointless."

Edward folded his arms around my waist. I knew my answer was logical to him. He could see both sides of the argument, and no resolution. My plan had been to go in there and have them find me, but with Victoria having a small army surrounding her, there was no telling if they would get to me in time. She wanted me dead.

"These minions of hers have obviously been around for a while. There's no way they could have that much control over their thirst if they were a recent development. They're working on the assumption that Bella isn't going to go willingly. What if we draw them out, and thin out their numbers before letting Bella go in there. We could still get to her in time," Tanya said looking around. When she got some glares from our family, she put up her hands in surrender. "Look, I don't like this anymore than any of you do. The last thing I want is Bella anywhere near that megalomaniacal bitch, but I am working with what we have here."

"She's right," I said, feeling Edward shift below me.

"So you're just volunteering to be bait?" Edward asked.

"If it's necessary. I know you don't like it–"

"Damn straight I don't."

"–But unless we come up with another plan, it's all we've got. I can wear the transmitter so you know where I am at all times. If something happens you know where they're taking me. Best case scenario, we take out some of their numbers and even the playing field."

"Bella, there's brave, then there's lost your damn mind," Rosalie said from the balcony. She was stood facing the sunrise, her skin staring to dance in the growing light. When she'd come back from dealing with the car and Dave she'd actually hugged me tightly and cursed me out all in the same moment. She'd grown attached to me and whereas that made me happy, I hated that it was a source of worry for her.

"I'm edging toward lost my damn mind I take it?"

"Edging be damned. You're there." She sighed, hugging her own waist. "Do you not understand that your life means something to every one of us in this room?"

"I love you too, Rose," I said, smiling at her through the glass.

"Damn you for making me care so much," She said, sauntering through the door and into the room. "This is why I don't form attachments to humans. You wondered why it was so hard for me to accept you in the beginning, well here it is, Bella. Human life is fickle and can be over in a moment. Whether it's a vampire hell bent on revenge, a plane crash, walking in front of a bus or old age. One moment you're there, the next you're not. We're the ones left behind mourning you, unable to get past the grief you leave behind with your memory."

The room around us fell silent. The only thing telling me time hadn't stopped was the gentle circle of Edward's hand on my back and the ever-rising sun. As her words sank in, I could feel the truth to them. She cared about me, she cared what happened to me, and now the thought of losing me actually hurt her. She wasn't the only one either. Every face in the room, even the ones looking down at their feet, seemed to be in agreement with her.

"I'm sorry I've been so selfish–"

"Bella–"

"No, Rose. Let me finish. I just want to say for the record that I love every one of you in the room just as much, maybe more than you love me. You're my family. You've helped me through some of the hardest times of my life, and actually given me hope for a future. Each one of you have had a huge part in my recovery, and there's no way I can every repay that debt. I know you're all worried–"

Someone shifted and I lifted my hand to stop them. I needed to get this all out. I needed them to understand. I pushed up from the chair and walked to where Rosalie stood with her arms wrapped around herself.

"If you think for a second I'm not scared, you're crazier than I am. However, I refuse to let Victoria push me around. I can't keep doing this. What if the next person is one of you? Do you think I wouldn't be doing this if one of you were in this position? This isn't about Ryan. I want to save him, yes. But this is about ending this shit with Victoria. I am so tired of jumping at my own shadow, wondering if she's finally come to collect. You see this as me risking my life. I see it as trying to save it. To live it."

Rosalie stepped forward, her arms circling my shoulders as she pulled me against her. I reciprocated, my arms folding around her waist as I absorbed her weight and strength. Of all the people I had expected to give me a speech like that, it hadn't been her, and not because I didn't think she cared. I'd thought that she'd treasured my humanity.

She stepped back and cupped my cheeks with her hands, her amber eyes staring into mine.

"Once you do this. I am going to sell you on the finer points of vampirism."

"What's changed?"

"You have, Bella. You never knew what you wanted before. You hadn't tried to live, but you've done that and you're right back where you started. I'm stubborn as hell, but I know a sign when I see one."

It was definitely something to think about. I hadn't even considered being changed while I was with them. I was just enjoying their company. Now however, the thought of losing them, even through my own death wasn't a nice thought. I wasn't committing to anything until I had thought it all through. First though. I needed to sell my point to everyone else.

"They'll be on the strip by nightfall," Edward said quietly, I could hear the exhaustion in his breath, or maybe it was resignation considering sleep and vampire did not an exhaustion make.

"If we take as many as we can out without Victoria noticing, we could have this all over with in one night," Tanya said. "Were any of you able to see where the bitch has holed up?"

I turned to Tanya. I couldn't help it. Something she'd said had trigged my memory.

"Say that again."

"Um, which part?"

"Did you notice something last night at Olek's shop?"

"The smell?"

I rolled my eyes. "Outside."

"The drug dealer on the corner?"

"The homeless people. She has to be getting these people from somewhere."

I rushed to the laptop and pulled up the _Las Vegas Sun_ website. In the search bar I typed in missing people. There were a couple that spanned over time, but there was no influx of new missing persons in the last couple of weeks. Not even further back. Not enough to supply her with twenty people in the last couple of months.

"I know where she is."

As I explained, Jasper hacked into the LVPD website and went through everything they'd had in the last four years pertaining to homeless people and missing people. Over a six month period, there had been several dead homeless people that the reports had stated had been attacked by wild animals. There were even some reports from homeless people that friends had gone missing, which the police had put down to them going home.

Tanya called Olek and asked questions as the area seemed to be in his domain. She was talking quickly while Kate translated. Apparently he had become excited and thrown around the word upyr several times, which was apparently a day walking vampire for the Ukraine. It only seemed to solidify the theory.

"I think we have to assume that Bella's right about this. Victoria is being very careful about how she does this."

"Not careful enough if Olek is worried about an upyr." Tanya snorted.

"He's in the middle of the shit storm," Emmett said. "If anyone would notice he would."

"So how do we draw these soldiers of hers out? They're obviously comfortable in an area they know well. They have plenty of victims that nobody will miss. Other than Bella walking through the damn street holding up a billboard of her face, I can't see them moving out of there for any other reason."

"You underestimate Victoria's desire to see this through," Laurent said. "She'll end them for a missed opportunity. Why do you think she loathes me so much?"

"What do you mean?" Irina asked.

"She asked me many years ago to return to Forks. She wanted me to find a way for her to get to Bella. She was tied up, trying to shake a tail. When I declined, she swore vengeance. She called me about a year and a half ago, asking another favor, when I again denied her, she told me I would be sorry for my change of allegiance."

"You never told me," Irina said quietly.

"I didn't see the need, my flower. I was happy where I was. I denied her. There was no reason to create a rift when I would not be deflecting."

"What did she ask you to do?" Edward asked respectfully. "The second time."

"She asked me to persuade a young man–" He snapped his jaws closed and looked directly at me. He spoke in French, and both Alice and Edward stared at him.

"Why didn't you say so earlier?"

"I didn't make the connection until now. I had no idea Bella was living here."

I closed my eyes and fell into an empty chair, my head in my hands. I didn't need a name. I think I already knew. It was amazing how easy it was to block things out when you were self-absorbed and only cared where your next hit was coming from. After I'd moved out of Luke's apartment, I'd only seen him a couple of times at the club. Then he disappeared, and I had to find another dealer. In my foggy memory, I think I had believed he'd moved on. He'd said he didn't like to stay in one place too long.

She'd been planning this for a while. All that time and she'd known where I was, had she been watching me? Following me? I could feel Edward's presence close by, and when his hands came to rest on my knees I knew it was simply for moral support. I had a feeling my worst nightmare was about to come true. My whole chest started to ache as I thought about the things I had done. I had been so high, so easy to capture, why had she waited so long? Why had she waited until I was sober? What had she been doing?

It was then that a horrible thought struck me. My blood turned to ice and everything in my stomach coagulated into a bitter heap of bile that threatened to choke me on the way up. I prayed I was wrong.

"Jasper." I croaked, unable to look up at him. "Can you go through missing persons over the last eighteen months and see if there are pictures attached to them?"

"Sure, but I thought–" I didn't look up to see what had cut him off. I was too lost in my own hazy memories. My highs that left a blurred image at the back of my skull, and I hoped I was wrong about this. I hoped that Victoria wouldn't be that convoluted.

I could hear the quite chug of the printer as it scanned across the paper. My breathing was so loud in the cup of my hands I was sure I was about to start hyperventilating.

"Bella. Talk to me. You're freaking us out."

I was freaking myself out. It was a sick thought that really hadn't ever occurred to me before. It was something I hadn't been sure Victoria had been sick enough to do, but I couldn't be sure. She had been doing this revenge dance for so long, there was no telling what she was capable of anymore.

I knew they were probably looking at one another like I had lost my mind and they were unsure how to proceed. Hell, I wasn't making sense to myself. Unfortunately, the swirling vortex of thoughts were mashing together creating a maelstrom in my head, to the likes would render me brain damaged if they were to become fact.

"Jasper, where we at?" Edward asked, his hands rubbing my thighs, trying to coax me from the depths of my own thoughts.

Patience had never been a strong point for me, but this was hell. It was bringing the insatiable need for heroin to the surface and creating a shake in my body that I was finding hard to control. In the back of my mind there was a voice, chanting the same thing over and over again. _One hit and this will all go away._

"Here," Jasper said from close by, and I heard paper changing hands before a cool finger stroked the back of my hand. It was Edward's. I had no doubt about that.

I dropped my hands, but kept my eyes closed as the paper was placed into my grip. I took a deep breath, hoping it would go all the way down to my very soul. I prayed faithfully for the first time into my life that whatever deity was listening would have some mercy on me.

I opened my eyes and stared at the first picture, I pulled it off and dropped it to the floor, doing the same until every one of them were pooled at my feet. Then I opened my mouth, and screamed.

* * *

**Authors Note: **A little bit dramatic, but if you've figured out what Victoria has done... I think it makes sense. It's diabolical and kinda sick. Victoria takes vengeance to a whole new level here.

I want to thank you all for reading, adding to alerts and favorites and for pointing out my faux pas *winks* and for the wonderful reviews that you guys were awesome enough to take the time out to write. I hope you guys know how much I love and appreciate y'all.

Pinkindeed... There are no words, I hope you had a fabulous birthday!

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie... I was so lucky the day I found the two of you! I hope you both know how much I love you both!


	31. Chapter 31: Fishing

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 31: Fishing**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_Eye for an eye  
__And a tooth for a tooth  
__Blood for blood  
__We've all gotta die  
__We've all gotta die_

_**Bad Company by Five Finger Death Punch**_

* * *

I was trembling from head to foot. The siren was bleeding from my mouth, and I was unable to control it. The faces staring up at me from the scattered paper on the floor confirmed my worst fears. I pulled my knees to my chest and slammed my mouth shut cutting off the bloodcurdling wail. I shuffled as far back from the edge as I could as though it would help me avoid this reality. She was sick. She was so fucking sick and demented.

"Bella. You're going to have to talk to me if you want us to help."

Edward. His name rolled around my head and bounced off the edges. He was going to hate me for this. Who wouldn't? There were two faces missing from that pile of five. His was one of them, Jacob's was the other.

"They..." I trailed off. Edward picked the photos up but I cringed away as though being close to them was going to make this fucked up situation worse. The one on top was the one I wanted to see least. "Oh God."

"Bella," Rosalie said gently approaching. Her hand landed on Edward's shoulder and her kind eyes landed on me. There was a silent moment between the two of them, but I had missed it because I'd retreated into my own mind.

Edward seemed to understand and backed away, while Rose approached me like I was a wild animal palms up, gait even. I could only imagine what I must have looked like curling in on myself like I was trying to disappear. She held out her hand and nodded for me to take it. I knew she was offering me an escape, a chance to talk about this without the thirteen sets of eyes on me and I reached out and took it. With ease, she pulled me from the chair and led me away from the group to the door of the room I'd stayed in the first night.

"No. Balcony." At least I could jump once my shame was out there for all to hear, it would also rob victoria of the honor. Two birds; one stone. Man, I was mortified. Disgusted and completely sickened by what I was about to have to admit out loud.

Rosalie didn't argue with me. She led me out onto the huge patio balcony as the morning light touched her skin and sent prisms dancing around us. She shut the door behind her and led me to the corner furthest away from the group that was watching us with wide eyes. I'd scared them all. It was obvious in the way every one of them were frozen. Not moving, not breathing. They were statues.

"Okay. What. The. Hell?" She whispered, her voice low, quiet and practically drowned out by the city below us that was just waking up.

"Every guy I have slept with, other than Edward and Jacob, are on those sheets of paper in there. I only know Luke's name. The others were... Oh God, Rose. What the fuck do I do with this?"

She wrapped her arms around me and held me as tightly as she could without harming me. I was shaking so hard that my teeth were cracking together with my body's effort. Five men, including Luke, that was all I had to show for my junkie ways, and Victoria had more than likely killed every single one of them, or worse, changed them.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie."

"Why? Why would she do that?" I paused the questions rolling around in my head like marbles until another thought barraged its way into my consciousness. "God, what must you think of me?"

"Think of you?" Rose said, holding me at arms length. Her eyes were hard and serious. "Bella, the number isn't a big deal. No one cares about that. Hell you total up Tanya's in a day and it will outnumber that most days. What's disgusting me is that Victoria is that mentally depraved that she would grab them all and do God knows what with them."

"Because of me."

"No, honey, because she's sick. I don't think we're dealing with revenge here anymore. This bitch is seriously fucking crazy, like buckles and a padded room crazy. It's not good, but it's not your fault."

"If I'd never–"

"Don't torture yourself with this. She's going to make you face them all and if you crack, she's going to win. At least you realized this now, right? It's one less surprise she can throw at you. I know it's not an encouraging thought, but you have to keep your spirit, your strength. Don't you dare let her win! I will make her death painfully slow for this, but if you're going to go through with this plan, I need you to be prepared for anything."

"Edward–"

"Doesn't care about that," he said from the door. "Bella, I left you alone. What you did after that can't be changed, and it can't change the way I feel about you either. You think for a second I would hold that against you? It's all part of what made you who you are today and I love that woman. I love you."

"Smooth," Rose said, smiling. She ran her hand down my arm before she moved toward the room. She stopped by Edward and put her hand on his shoulder before stepping inside and closing the door behind her.

"I'm so sorry, Edward." It felt like we'd finally found our pace. Now my past was being thrown at him, reminding him that I'd been playing the field, whoring myself out for affection I didn't deserve.

"You told me about them, Bella. This wasn't a big surprise. You were open and honest about what happened while we were apart."

"I never thought I would have to face them again, Edward. They were anonymous. It's why I didn't recognize the names. It was one night of shame to make the ache of being alone go away."

He covered the distance between us and wrapped his arms around me, cradling me against his chest as I finally started to cry. Every ounce of pain, resentment, shame, ache and sadness went into the tears. I hadn't cried like that in years, even when I'd cried with Rosalie after detox it hadn't been that deep, that raw. Edward just held me and let me cry.

I was breaking apart from the inside out. The fissures that had been there were beginning to turn into gorges. Why was it things started turning to shit just when I'd found a small piece of happiness? What had I done to deserve this? What the hell had compelled fate to squat and take a nice big shit on me?

"You don't have to go out there and risk yourself, Bella. If this is too much, not one person here will judge you. You've been through too much already."

I appreciated what he was trying to do. He was, once again giving me a choice. One I would gladly take if it didn't mean that I would miss the downfall of my very own grim reaper. I needed to see this through to the end. I needed to see Victoria as a pile of ashes before I could rest easy.

The first step in doing that was getting past the demons. This was not going to be easy, facing these men, whether they were dead, alive or the walking dead was going to be difficult. It was going to remind me of every indiscretion I had. No matter how high I'd been their faces were still filed away in my mind. They were still people.

"But it's never going to stop until she's taken care of."

"We can do that without involving you."

I took a deep breath and leaned back in Edward's embrace so I could look up at him. There was no judgment in his eyes; just love and something that looked shockingly like pride.

"You know I can't do that."

"I know." He buried his face in the crook of my neck and breathed in deeply. His hands stayed in place on the small of my back while his thumbs rubbed a small circular pattern there. I was resigned to the fact he wasn't disgusted by this, and he wasn't holding it against me. Was he going for sainthood? No man in their right mind would be happy about a girl's exes showing back up in any form or fashion. Let alone being used as vengeance and could very well be vampires.

"I love you, Edward."

He froze around me. His body so still I felt like I was being embraced by a marble statue. The lines of his body were hard and impossible against my own. I wiggled in his grip and captured his face with my hands until I could see into his eyes.

"I'm sorry–"

"That's the first time you've said that to me since..." He trailed off as his lips fused with mine, his hand cupping the nape of my neck as he deepened the kiss, his tongue laving against mine. He'd moved so quickly, he'd taken me by surprise, but it didn't take me long to catch up. My hands moved from his cheeks and down over his shoulders until I was gripping his biceps as tough my life depended on it. Maybe it did.

Being with him like this made the shock and horror fade to the back of my mind, while my strength and fortitude took a step forward. It was a disaster, but one I could handle if he was by my side, because he was worth living for. He was worth fighting for. As long as he was with me, I could face anything.

"As glad as I am to see the Laurie Strode act gone. I think we seriously need to get some work done," Emmett said, sticking his head out of the doors. "I know where kisses like that lead."

I gave him the finger over Edward's shoulder and heard him laugh in response. My lips curled into a smile as the embrace of my family finally started to pierce the self-loathing and loneliness the revelation had dumped on me. I wasn't alone, and though Edward had been the one to make me see that, the rest of the family's support was pushing it away.

"I'll buy you five minutes. It's the best I can do."

I wrapped my arm around Edward's neck and pulled him closer to me. Drowning myself in the feel of him against me. The electricity that buzzed through my body and tumbled into my stomach made me feel alive. If this was his way of distracting me, I would happily take it.

"I guess we should go inside," I said against his lips. All I got in response was a throaty growl that sent vibrations through my body making that ache for him worse.

Considering the news I'd just received, there was no way in hell I should be as relaxed, or aroused, as I was. Unfortunately, or fortunately considering how you looked at it, Edward had a way of making everything disappear so it was just him and I. There was no sound of traffic ringing in my ears, no slow burn of the desert sun on my skin, and no thoughts of those faces on the papers I had discarded. For those few minutes I had a reprieve and indulged myself in him fully.

"Okay you two, I have a bucket of water and I'm not afraid to use it." Tanya snorted daintily from the door.

"You okay?" Edward whispered as he pulled back.

"I am now."

He gave me one of his crooked smiled and backed away until my hands fell into his and he tugged me toward the interior of the suite. I tried not to feel guilty that I had let myself go with him when the shit was hitting the fan, but in all honesty, he'd managed to get my head back to where it needed to be...

In the game...

And this _was_ a game.

A game with no rules and no morals. The only way to end it would be through playing it as dirty and aggressively as she was, and beyond that, consequentially death.

Mine or hers.

I was determined it would be hers.

As Edward and I settled back into the chair we'd been occupying, I could see the eyes watching me for another break in my sanity. Fortunately, Carlisle seemed to like awkward pauses less than I did.

"Rosalie explained, Bella. We're so sorry."

"You didn't do anything," I said gently. "But we have to see what else she has up her sleeve. I don't think we've seen the last of her surprises, and though it doesn't comfort me. I have to be prepared for her to use whatever she has in her armory."

"Are you sure you–"

"I want to end this."

Carlisle nodded. Obviously understanding what I was trying to get across. As far as Victoria was concerned I had to put up walls and expect her to crumble them. She would, as I had already said, use anything and everything she could to break me. Though if what Alice had saw in her decisions was right, she had one achilles heel. She'd made a connection of her own. One I would expose and use against her if I got the chance to.

Ryan.

I threw myself into the conversation and planning with fervor. I knew that I would have to explain what I was planning on doing and I hoped that Edward would trust me enough to pull it off. It was a huge risk, it would be cruel, but I didn't have many choices. Thankfully, they all seemed to agree with me, including, surprisingly enough, Edward. The rules were slowly changing, but the first order of business was still getting rid of some of her minions.

There were still hours left of sunlight by the time we'd finished talking and planning, and I was glad when someone suggested I sleep. I needed it. The cravings that had come with the revelation of what Victoria had done were still coursing through my body and gnawing at the edges of my mind. Sleep was the only thing that would ease it, and I needed my strength.

Edward didn't leave my side as we made our way back to our room. He didn't say much, but there wasn't much to say considering what we were about to face. His presence, however, was the only way I was able to slip into the darkness of sleep. I curled myself around him and took deep breaths letting his scent fill my senses.

"Bella. Bella, wake up." Edward's voice cut through a dream that had twisted into some _Wizard of Oz_ throwback. There had been a tornado warning and the wicked witch had been running away with Paul's wolf on a leash. It was absolutely wild, and completely didn't fit in with my normal pattern. It wasn't until Edward shook me again that I realized the why behind it.

The fire alarms were screeching in the hotel. The high-pitched droning made the air rent with panic to the point I could feel it in our room as people shuffled through the halls outside. Inside the room, however, was a panic of a different variety.

"No need to clarify," I said, sitting up and running my hands through my hair. There was only one person that would use her brand of havoc to create chaos like this to separate us. "She's really starting to piss me off."

"You're not the only one. Carlisle called. He's opened the stairs to the Penthouse. We're meeting up there. There's no fire out there, I would smell it. We need to sit it out and wait for the all clear."

"She's flushing us out?"

"Yeah, but this is the third hotel this morning that's had an alarm go off. Apparently it's all over the news. She doesn't know where we are."

"Then we're going to keep it that way. Come on," I said, grabbing his hand and crawling out of the bed. I got halfway to the door when Edward started to chuckle.

"As much as I appreciate seeing you in your underwear, I would prefer you had something a little less revealing on with company."

I looked down at myself and cursed. I was wearing an old band tee and panties. Comfort level was great for slumber, meeting with a room full of vampires, not so much. More for their delicate sensibilities than my own if I was being honest.

I shimmied into my jeans and pulled socks and chucks on my feet. It was as good as it was going to get, and Edward seemed placated.

When we opened the door, there were still guests heading down the hall to the stairwell in an orderly fashion. The corridor was dark, and the flashing lights were enough to give someone an epileptic fit, especially with the screaming alarms bouncing off the walls of the narrow corridor.

We stayed with the flow of bodies until we were squeezed through the narrow doorway and into the stairwell. As everyone took a right to head down to the ground floor, Edward and I hooked a left and moved further up the building, fighting against the small stream of people that were coming from the floor between ours and the penthouse.

By the time we got to the top the voices of the guests had faded to nothing, and my breath was coming out of me in little pants of air. The stairs would have been easy; it was the pushing against people that had made it all the more difficult. People really seemed to take fire alarms seriously.

"Won't the fire department check all the floors?" I asked as we entered the penthouse suite.

"They'll stick their heads in, but they won't search the place."

The main room to the place was empty, but Edward made his way to one of the rooms, where the rest of our group were lounging around looking bored. Emmett was stood at the window, concealed by one of the walls as he scanned the street below. It was all so cloak and dagger.

"I count six of them hanging back." Emmett growled. "They're hiding in the shadows, just watching as people filter out."

"That's six we could eliminate right now. Six down twenty to go," Tanya said, she was sprawled out on the bed, legs crossed at the ankles as she leaned back beside Kate on the pillows.

"In front of every guest and staff member in the hotel? That's smart," Jasper said, shaking his head. "I commend your enthusiasm, but acting that way will just bring the Volturi down on us. It's exactly what we're trying to avoid here."

"Volturi?"

Edward shuffled me inside and put his fingers to his lips as he pointed to the bed. I wasn't sure if it was a diversionary tactic, or if there was someone coming in to check the penthouse. My question was answered when there was a crackle of a radio and a fuzzy voice filling the silence.

"All clear." Someone in the living room said.

"_That bomb threat was a fake. We've got nothing. Head back down, we'll start letting the guests back in._"

"Ten four."

Every vampire in the room was silent as they waited, all eyes on the door as they listened to something that was way the hell out of my range. I could only assume it was the firemen descending the stairs.

"I hate hiding," Emmett said after a while, his eyes still scanning the exterior of the hotel in the fading light.

"Well we're not hiding, we're biding our time," Tanya said in a comforting voice. "You'll get your shot at them big guy. We all will."

Didn't that just float my boat. Time had passed too quickly, and as I looked at the alarm clock by the bed. I realized that in an hour, we'd be doing some flushing of our own. I just hoped that it would all go according to plan. Until then, I had one more question.

"What's a Volturi?"

Every vampire in the room stilled for a moment before their heads turned slowly in my direction. No one looked particularly comfortable about the question I'd posed, which just made me feel all the better about it. Whatever it was, it obviously didn't make any of them happy to think about it.

"I suppose the best way to describe them would be our governing body," Edward finally said, shifting uncomfortably.

"Ours, as in vampires?" I asked.

He nodded and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. That wasn't exactly comforting considering the topic of conversation.

"What, exactly, do they do?"

"Enforce the one law of ours." Jasper replied, taking over the explanation. "We're not supposed to expose ourselves to humans. If we break the law, the punishment is death. If they were to get wind of the risks Victoria is taking, they would descend upon the place and wipe her, and her newborns out. They don't take this kind of thing lightly."

"Then why wouldn't you just call them to begin with?"

"Bella," Edward said quietly. "You're human. If they found out you had knowledge of our existence, they would kill you and all of us who surround you. They won't ask questions, and they won't hear reason."

Not a comforting thought at all, I decided staring at each of the vampires in the room with me. To think I had risked every one of them by being in their presence made a shiver roll down my spine. This went so much deeper than I realized. This world of theirs, I'd never once thought they would have been policed.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because they will never know about you, Bella. We're going to take care of this before they are alerted to the situation. Then we're going home."

As if there wasn't enough pressure on us as there was, I now had this to add to the list of up shit creek without a paddle moments that I had in my cache. Getting this taken care of was becoming more and more important as the time clipped away. Everyone in this room had broken their one law by accepting me into their lives, and didn't that just make Rosalie's offer to explain the benefits of Vampirism look all the more appealing.

"Let's just deal with one thing at a time. Right now, we have to get this taken care of. The rest we can worry about later," Rose said, glaring at Jasper as though she wanted to smack him around the back of the head. I knew she was trying to protect me, and I appreciated it, but this was something I needed to know. Something I should have been aware of before now, and not because of a slip of the tongue.

At the same time though, she was right about needing to focus on what we were about to do. We couldn't afford to be distracted from our plan. We were about to head out into a war zone, and I was going to have to confront my worst nightmare. I really didn't need another reason to have to look over my shoulder.

* * *

**Authors Note: **Looks like things are about to get serious... You guys pretty much guessed right and yeah Victoria is nuts and diabolical with it. Still, she has no idea what's coming for her!

Thank you all for reading, adding to alerts and favorites and for the reviews. You guys are amazing! I love you all more than you know and I can't say thank you enough for your patience with me. I hope all you mother have a wonderful mothers day.

Thank you to Pinkindeed for being her wonderful self as always.

To Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie... There are no words and I love you!

**MWAH!**


	32. Chapter 32: In The Crosshairs

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 32: In The Crosshairs**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

_Got something to live for, I know that I won't surrender,  
A warrior of youth!  
I'm taking over, a shot to the new world order  
__I am bulletproof_

_**I Am Bulletproof by Black Veil Brides**_

* * *

"Emmett and I will be on the rooftops the whole time. You know the sign if you don't feel comfortable."

"I do," I said, leaning over Edward's chest and kissing him. We were in the back of one of the rental cars, on our way to the area where Olek's shop was located. I'd somehow managed to push the shit about the Volturi to the back of my mind and focus on the task that I was about to perform. I had no chance in hell of outrunning these bastards, but we were all working on the assumption that there was a strict order not to kill me. I assumed it was because Victoria wanted that particular honor.

On me, I had a tiny ear piece that would undoubtedly be ripped off the moment I was finally caught, a tiny microphone and camera that was hidden in the design of the shirt I was wearing, and the tracking device that was pinned in my clean undies. Jasper was on a roof with all the gear that would give them sound, video and ability to track me when the time came.

Carlisle pulled the car to the side of the road about a block and a half from Olek's shop and let it idle as he turned in his seat to look at me. I could see the discomfort in his eyes. He didn't like this. None of them did.

Edward's arms tightened around me one last time before he released me. I battered back the panic of knowing I was on my own from that point on and sat up straight, calling on every small piece of confidence I possessed.

"It'll be fine."

"If you want out. You say the word." Edward whispered as an aside.

"I will I promise."

Carlisle unlocked the door as I shuffled to the side. With one last look at the two of them, I pushed it open and stepped out onto the sidewalk and into darkness. The area Carlisle had picked had broken street lamps, which meant that the area was cast in darkness and shadows. The lights at the end of the street were the only illumination, and even the sleek black car seemed to be hidden in the inky blackness that surrounded me. It blended into the darkness like a wild panther, the gentle purring of the engine the only indication it was there at all.

As I stepped away from the car, the crunch of glass underfoot told me the lights had been purposely taken out. My heart started to pound in a steady rhythm of panic as my blood cooled in my veins pebbling my skin in the worst kind of way. I was really doing this. I was really about to take a nice little jog around one of the most dangerous parts of the city looking for the things that went bump in the night. Being worried about homeless people, gangs and drug dealers hadn't even occurred to me. When you knew about vampires, they seemed like fluffy little hamsters in comparison. Still, nevertheless dangerous considering I was a human.

I waited for a second before waving away the car in a random wave of bravado. I watched as it pulled away, crawling along slowly like a predatory animal. The throaty growl of the engine was the only indication that it wasn't part of the shadows that were surrounding me. The sudden rush of loneliness made me freeze, one arm wrapped firmly around my waist in support. I gave myself one last moment of incredulity before I gathered myself together and started my slow amble down the sidewalk.

The smell in the area really wasn't encouraging; it rose from the dank corners and lingered in little clouds, hitting me in the face. As I passed darkened alleys and sunken doorways that were cast in shadows, my eyes played tricks on me. Making things look like they were moving, winding, reaching. The adrenaline in my body reached out and wrapped around me like a companion. I kept trying to remind myself why this was a good idea, why I'd come up with this stupid idea to begin with. Trying to remember that I had people looking out for me.

"_Easy, Bella_," Jasper said into my earpiece. The sudden sound of his voice made me jump, but once I realized who it was and where it was coming from, I felt better knowing that I wasn't completely alone anymore. "_Stop a minute. Emmett thinks he can see something up ahead._"

I glanced into the shadows of the alley next to me and tried to stay in place as the darkness manipulated my mind. I'd known this was coming. I was prepared for this. It was just being there that was sucking. There was only so much mental preparation you could do, and it obviously wasn't enough when it came to urban dangers with a side of pissed off vampire.

"_There's a human coming toward you. He's to your right, should be coming around the corner . . . Now._"

A figured turned the corner, his steps hurried, his head down, and his hands in his pockets. He looked less comfortable than I did and I was pretty sure that I was at the extreme limits of discomfort. Though I could only imagine that his was due to carrying a shit load of drugs and money. Getting mugged was not going to be a good thing for him. I slipped back into the shadows and waited until he'd passed before I made my way forward again.

I could hear a car approaching the junction ahead and slowed down, sticking close to the building. I paused as it crawled away from the stop sign, some guys in the back were staring down the street as though looking for someone. I could only imagine it was the guy that had passed. Had it been a vampire, they would have seen me in the shadows. Instead, they just continued on.

"_You doing okay?_"

I gave a thumbs up to the camera and heard Jasper's responding chuckle. I knew he'd hear me if I answered verbally, but my dry mouth was preventing me from doing so. I was not a good candidate for this. I could feel my heartbeat in my temples, created out of complete and utter fear. I shouldn't have been so shaken at one person passing me by, nor should one car passing have made my heart rate soar. Unfortunately, for me, everything was a possible confrontation, or worse, a vampire.

As I came to the end of the street, I lingered in the shadows, just out of reach of the dull light from the dying street lamp. Its pool was a dying orange that gave only a small area of illumination around it. I could see the taillights of the car that had passed down the long straight of the road and breathed a sigh of relief. I had been worried they'd turn around and head back in the direction I'd just come from. There was no hiding from headlights.

I surveyed the street from the corner I was in, looking for signs of movement. As bait, I didn't need to do much. The smell of my blood would be enough to call out to a vampire. There just had to be one in the vicinity to catch it.

As I looked around the deserted streets, I was starting to think that maybe I'd been wrong about this being their base of operations. Surely, if they were around they would have noticed me already?

"Jasper?" I said quietly, pushing past the tightness in my throat.

"_I'm here._"

"Do you think they can smell you guys?"

"_Doubtful, the streets create little tunnels for the wind. All they can smell is what's on ground level. They may have a faint trace if anything, but it would be put down to a vampire passing through._"

Then where the hell were they?

"_They're here. We can see them moving around to the north of you. It seems like– Well, it's–_"

"They found dinner?"

Jasper made a noise down the microphone that more than confirmed my speculation. With the fresh smell of blood in the air, they wouldn't have picked up on my presence.

"How many?"

"_At least six or seven. There's another small group to the west, but I think they're up wind of you._"

"If we took out these two groups?"

"_Maybe fifteen would be eliminated._"

Fifteen. That would leave eleven, unless Victoria had been busy and made some more while she'd been waiting for us. That thought alone made me feel nauseated. I wouldn't have put it past her to keep making these blood-thirsty animals. She wanted me dead. If there was enough of them to hold off the Cullens while she did that, I believed she would do it. The question was, did she know about the family from Alaska joining us? Had she known our numbers had grown as well?

"_The group to the west are heading in your direction. You sure you're ready for this?_"

"As I'll ever be." I muttered in response.

"_Bella, run. Now._"

I stepped into the light before I tore off down the darkened street I'd just come from. There was no sticking to the shadows this time. I hit the middle of the road and pounded my feet into the asphalt as I ran like hell was on my heels. I could hear nothing behind me, but I didn't need to hear them to know they were there. I could sense them, the hair at the back of my neck standing to attention and the icy fingers of fear down my spine were more than enough to confirm it.

When my feet left the ground, I screamed. The darkness rushed at me until I was stood on a building and the lights of the city illuminated everything. It was only then that I realized I'd been plucked from the fight. I could barely see into the darkness below, but the keening noise more than told me a fight had been started. It echoed through the dark road, reverberating from the walls, and skipping down alleys.

"_Bella?_ _Can you head north on the roof and see if you can't see if the feeding vampires have heard what's going on?_"

"Sure." I responded, falling in to a crouch and running the line of the roof so I wouldn't be seen. Compared to the vampires, I was slow and cumbersome, it would be a dead giveaway to see me running up on the roof, arms and legs pumping awkwardly.

As soon as I got closer to the edge, I cast my eyes out over the distance, looking for what they'd spotted up here, but I saw nothing. It was just more desolate and darkened streets.

"_Down._"

I dropped to my belly immediately, holding in the gasp that came with the brick that I had dropped myself on and knocked the wind out of my lungs. I was proud of myself for following these orders without question. Somewhere I had developed a sense that it was the one thing standing between death and me. Jasper's sharp eyes were better than mine, even through a video link.

"_They've passed. Stay low and go back to where you were. I need to see what's going on._"

I did as I was told. He wasn't the only one that wanted to see what was happening. I lowered myself into a crouch by the lip and looked over, making sure the camera had a full view of the street below. My eyes couldn't focus on anything in the darkness. It shrouded everything making the noises eerie as hell.

"_Damn Tanya's good._"

I had no doubt about that, even if I couldn't see where she was. She had the instincts of a cat and the lithe body to go with it. Though I couldn't see anything, I stayed where I was and listened to Jasper's commentary. Apparently, we had the upper hand.

When I saw a small fire start to burn, I was able to see the figures silhouetted in the flames. All of them were throwing things into the blaze making the pyre rise higher into the air until a sickly sweet smell seemed to fill the atmosphere around me. I saw one of the figures turn and move. Between blinks, Edward appeared on the ledge next to me. I threw my arms around him and took a deep breath.

"Are you all right?"

"Fine." I breathed as he sat back and cradled my face in his palms. I didn't miss the sweep of his eyes as he checked me over, but I couldn't say much. I'd been doing the same thing. Looking for a mark on him that would signify he'd been hurt in the fight. Thankfully, he was as perfect as ever.

"_How many?_" Jasper asked in my ear.

I was about to repeat the question, when Edward answered himself. I should have known he would have heard the voice of Jasper in my ear. It wasn't loud, but their hearing went beyond what I could even imagine.

"Twelve."

"_Damn._"

"I know. We just have to hope that we can fish out a few more before Bella lets herself get caught."

That was not something I was looking forward to. Being plucked from the fight had been bad enough, and that had been one of us. The way the red eyed vampires made my skin crawl wasn't going to make that any easier, but at least the fear would be real.

Edward dropped a kiss to my forehead as though he knew what I was thinking. I knew it wouldn't be any easier for him. I just hoped he'd be ready to jump in and save me when the time came. As much as I would have loved to do it on my own, I knew that I was incapable. I was human. They were vampires.

There was a squeal in my ear and a curse from Jasper before the sound died completely. Edward's head whipped to one side as his eyes narrowed. He stood up and looked between me and the direction I knew Jasper was in.

"Go, take someone with you."

He nodded, whistled once, and Alice, Carmen and Eleazar were by his side. Emmett and Rosalie stopped on either side of me. No one needed much more prompting. I was left with my sentries, while Edward and the others raced across the tops of the buildings in a blur of speed.

"_Bella?_"

"Oh God, Jasper. You're okay. What happened?" I asked quietly.

"_Carlisle and Esme are patrolling the tops of the building surrounding me. They thought they saw something._"

"Did they?" Rose asked.

"_Not that I could see._"

I heard the muffled arrival of the others in the headset as I looked toward the strip where the glaring lights seemed to create a glow in the atmosphere above it. It eased me a little in the darkness that had been so deep and unsuspecting below me. It would have been so much easier to have just Victoria after me, but she didn't play that way.

I stood between Rosalie and Emmett as the others made their way back and checked around to make sure whatever they'd seen hadn't moved closer to us. The rising column of smoke was like a beacon, letting any vampires in the area know that someone had been ended. It was only a matter of time before they came to investigate.

"You ready to go back down?"

_No. _"Yes."

Edward hoisted me into his arms and leaped from the ledge, landing gracefully in the light glow of the fire. When he left, he took the others with him. I didn't miss the encouraging smile Tanya gave me, or the grave look of panic that was flashed at me by Laurent as they left. He knew as well as I did that Victoria wasn't going to take the thinning of her troops lightly. God only knew how she was going to retaliate.

I stuck close to the fire as I paced the street. It was slowly dying as the pieces of vampire faded to ashes, but I stayed within its circle of light until it finally extinguished itself, leaving the street around me in darkness once again. Taking away the last little piece of comfort I was feeling.

As I paced back and forth, building up the courage to do something, anything, something stirred in the shadows of the alley between buildings.

"_Bella. You have an incoming_"

No shit, I thought, backing away from the mouth of the alley. As the tall vampire stepped from the deepest recesses of the shadows something huge skidded to a halt in front of me. Something brushed against me as a menacing growl filled the empty street. I backed away slowly as the earpiece filled with curses. It wasn't until I got further away that I saw the silver of the fur stood on end. The bow of the body as it hunkered down into attack position. I knew that fur anywhere.

It was Paul.

I looked up to the roofs and put up my hand to stop the others from dropping down and creating a whirlwind of destruction. I would only end up losing someone I loved, and that was not all right with me.

The vampire stared at the huge wolf and started backing away slowly. It always amazed me that they chose to run. The first thing you learn about a canine is that they love to chase. For the wolves it was no different. It was like foreplay before sex for them, the precursor to ripping their only enemy to shreds. Not that I was complaining.

As the vampire took off, Paul's tail rocked from side to side, his sides heaving in and out as he gave it a head start. He always did like playing with his food.

Then he was gone, his claws clicking against the asphalt as he took off down the narrow alley.

"Was that–"

"Paul." I clarified to Edward who was now stood beside me. Jacob wouldn't have cared enough to come.

"He helped me through the breakup with Jacob. We became close friends. Emmett called him to let him know what was going on."

"He's here alone?"

I imagined he was, and there would be hell to pay when he got back. I was sure he hadn't told anyone else where he was going. Which only made a surge of guilt rise in my belly. He'd cared enough to come. I stood in the dark, looking down the shadow filled alley when a reverberating sound of snapping jaws and ripping filtered out toward us. I hoped everyone I knew was on high ground. There was no way in hell that he would know who was here helping me.

"He's coming back." Edward muttered.

Within seconds, the prowling body of the wolf slinked out of the shadows until he was silhouetted in the dark street. His eyes caught the light at the end of the street and reflected making them glow. He opened his mouth and peeled back his gums from his teeth, saliva dripping from the long canines as he zeroed in on Edward.

"I mean her no harm, Paul," Edward said gently, obviously answering Paul's thoughts.

A growl ripped through the air, the teeth of the wolf snapping together violently to the point where translation wasn't needed. Instinct forced me between the two, my body facing Paul as I kept Edward behind me.

"They're here to help me," I said as Paul's mouth closed, his teeth covered by his lips. I took a step toward him and heard Edward shift uncomfortably behind me. Paul's huge head nodded like a horses, his eyes never leaving the vampire behind me. "There are thirteen of them."

"No. I won't tell her that," Edward said in a calm voice. "She's made her own decisions."

The wolf sniffed and snorted, its head shaking until it flowed down his spine and ended in his tail. I was close enough to touch him, so I reached out, my fingers burying in the soft fur around his neck as the eyes of the wolf rolled clearly.

"You're a stubborn ass, Paul Lahote."

He hissed through his teeth, his head turning to the side so the flat of his head rubbed against my belly. My body moved with the jerky movements. I'd missed this part of being with Jacob, the sense of being something bigger, the contact with the gentle, giant wolves, the pack mentality, and the adoration.

"Will you change back?" I asked, spotting the clothes tied to his hind leg. "I think you need to hear the plan, and you're going to want to yell at me."

"He said why doesn't that surprise him."

I pointed to the alley and stepped away from him. His huge body turned and he slapped me with his tail playfully as he fell out of sight. I took a deep breath. This was going to change things. Paul was not going to be as accepting as the vampires were about this plan of mine. He knew what Victoria was capable of. He'd been chasing her out of Forks and La Push for years. I'd offered to be bait once before and I'd been shut down, and Paul had been the one to veto it.

"Now. What the hell are you doing in the middle of a dark street with a shit load of vampires gunning for you?" Paul asked, his huge body stepping out of the shadows. I threw myself into his warm body and hugged him.

"I'm finishing this." I mumbled against his chest.

"I'm really not going to like this shit am I?"

"No." I agreed. "You're really not."

* * *

**Authors Note: **I apologize for the covert ops, but they're trying really hard to set a trap and trying to do that while vampires are all super sight and hearing is so difficult. I'm sure Paul showing up is a surprise, but the stubborn ass couldn't sit back, not when they knew that Bella was so close to Victoria again, and that was without knowing the plan.

Thanks to you all for reading, adding to alerts and Faves and for the amazing reviews. You guys have been so wonderful and I am well aware that I really don't deserve them at the moment, but it doesn't mean I don't read them and mentally hug each and everyone of you that takes the time to write one for me. I love you guys!

Pinkindeed. Thanks for being you and for being patient with me!

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie... There are no words. I love you both more than you know!


	33. Chapter 33: Hook, Line, & Sinker

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 33: Hook, Line, & Sinker**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_Sole and born creation  
The lion's in the house  
Flowers are up in the air  
Crashing against the dark_

_**Fire In The Water by Feist**_

* * *

"You're out of your damn minds!" Paul shouted, his arms crossed tightly over his chest as Emmett, Edward and I spoke to him. We'd had the rest of the group hold back because, well, frankly there were just too many and you know what they say about cornered animals.

"Paul–"

"No. Absolutely not! I am not going to go along with this."

"Then you should leave," I said calmly, my own arms crossing over my chest. He scowled over at me, his brown eyes so narrow it was a wonder he could see at all. "I know the risks, Paul. I know what she's capable of too. I just refuse to live my life always worrying that she's a step behind me, waiting in the shadows."

"Why don't you just let us go after her. Take her down so she's no longer a problem?"

"Now there's a thought. Why didn't we think of that?" Emmett said, sarcasm dripping from his tone.

I glared at Emmett who dropped his head and looked away. Somehow my anger always seemed to humor him. I rolled my eyes and looked back at Paul who was stood like a brick wall with his arms crossed over his chest.

"It's not that simple. Believe me, this is the only way."

"Always the damn martyr."

I snorted and shook my head. Stepping up in front of him I put my finger in the center of his chest and met his eyes with my own. It was time I made something very clear to him. I stabbed him with my digit and put all of my anger into this one sentence. I needed him to understand.

"Being a martyr would implicate I'm doing this for someone else, Paul. Victoria is after _me_. _Me_! So for the first time in my life, I am taking care of _my_ problem with a little help from some friends. You either help or you go home. I appreciate you coming down here, but I won't let you stop me, Paul Lahote."

Edward and Emmett snapped their jaws shut and kept their lips in straight lines. Both of them, at some point in time, had been on the receiving end of my bad temper. It was no wonder they found his so entertaining. If I hadn't been so focused, I would have shot them a glare too.

I was so tired of having to explain myself to the supernaturals. I felt like I'd been doing it my whole damn life. Couldn't they understand that I was tired of sitting back and letting them do all the hard work while I hid and waited for the storm to pass? I may have been defenseless against Victoria in terms of strength, I wasn't naive enough to think I could do it alone, but if I had a chance of making her stop and pay attention I was going to do it. It was about time these superhuman fuckers realized that.

"Damn, girl. Look at you all pissed off."

"Shut up, Paul."

"No. It's hot."

Edward growled from behind me, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. This was ridiculous.

"Jealous vampire?" Paul asked, wiggling his eyebrows as he peered down my shirt, his finger pulling the material back a little.

I'd learned a long time ago that you didn't hit, kick or slap a vampire or wolf. As a human, doing so would render you with a broken finger or wrist or toes. I'd already been there and done that. Hell, the hospital had offered me a damn t-shirt. That didn't, however, mean I didn't know how to render a wolf into howls of pain.

I leaned forward and grabbed Paul's nipple, twisting as hard as I could until he bent over in pain.

"Ahh shit. Bella, I call uncle. I call uncle!"

"Don't instigate fights, Paul. I'm not in the mood to deal with testosterone fuel pissing contests." I turned to Edward. "That goes for you too, Edward. Paul is a flirt, get used to it."

Emmett was the one that finally broke down and started laughing. His hand covered his mouth as he tried to hide it, but his shoulders were still shaking with the effort. It was like talking to a bunch of eight-year-olds.

There was a sound of someone clearing their voice in my ear, and I took a deep breath to calm myself. No doubt the rest of them had been listening to the conversation and had floor tickets to the torture I just gave Paul.

"Yes, Jasper?"

"_You're going to have to make up your mind. We have two more heading in your direction._"

"Take me back down there," I said, glaring at Paul. "You have to make up your mind. Stay or leave, but you have to follow what you're told, Paul. One wrong move and you will get me killed."

"You're doing a fine job of that on your own, Bella."

I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "Thanks for coming, Paul. I'm sorry it was a wasted trip."

"Ah hell," he said in a growl, running his hands through his short hair. "I'll be here. You just watch your ass, Bella. You die, and I'm going to kick your ass."

I nodded and turned to Edward, letting him hoist me in to his arms before he hopped off the roof and into the dark street below. When he dropped me to my feet, he held me against his chest for a second longer than necessary.

"After these two..." He trailed off.

"I know." I whispered, trailing my fingers over his cheek and memorizing the feel of his cool skin under my fingers. "We can do this. I know you're going to be right behind me."

He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine reverently before he stepped out of my embrace.

"_Shit, Edward. Get out of there. She's going to be surrounded. They're coming from every angle._"

I could see the hesitance in his eyes, and I could hear the growl Paul emitted from high on the rooftop. There was no more taking these fools out. This was it. This was what it had come to. They could handle thirteen vampires, they already had.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you more." He sighed, leaping out of my sight. The only sign he was on the roof was the gentle shift of stones under his foot. Even then it was hard for me to hear with my sub par human senses.

The darkness swallowed me whole the moment I was alone, or more to the point, the moment I started to pay attention to the echoing loneliness that closed in around me. There were no more intercepting wolves or kisses from Edward, or reassurances from Jasper in my ear. I was on my own. About to be taken away to face Victoria.

Panic suddenly replaced everything else I was feeling. The thought of getting close to these red-eyed freaks wasn't something I would ever be ready for. Especially knowing there would be faces I recognized mixed in with them. That alone was enough to make my gut roll in discomfort. Would they even recognize me? It had been one freaking night with all of them other than Luke. I'd been high; they'd been drunk it wasn't exactly a romance filled tryst either. It had been about needs, feral, animalistic needs that had been it.

I sensed someone step out from the shadows ahead of me. The nefarious feel of them more than alerting me to what was there. Taking a deep breath, I turned to run, only to find another vampire behind me, his red eyes locked on me, a sneer on his lips at my shock. It was the same for the two alleys to my left and right. I was trapped. The only good thing was even in the shadows I didn't recognize anybody.

At least, I thought I hadn't.

"Oh I would know that tight ass anywhere." A voice said from behind me, it was filled with lust and want, and it made my skin crawl. "Hello, Bella."

"Luke," I said, shoulders slumping. Nothing good would come of this. It didn't take a genius to know that. Luke had been a junkie, a hard ass. He liked things his way. He needed to be in control. He and I had only been together for a little while. A need to forget, and the drugs that had been so new to me back then, had fueled the sexual unions between us. He'd been rough, and different from the only two people I'd ever wanted. His body had been nothing like Jacob or Edward's.

I'd been so desperate when I arrived in Vegas, and he'd taken a liking to me. The desperation a beacon for him because he'd known I'd needed an escape. It was as simple as that really, there was no love lost between us, we'd used one another in the worst kind of way. When I'd left, he'd given me a hug and told me to call him if I needed him. Didn't that just sum up our time together?

"You haven't changed a bit, although..." He sniffed the air around me, his lips curling into a smile as his eyes closed. "You're clean, just like the day I found you, and did you get a dog?"

"It was killing me, Luke." I replied, ignoring the dog question.

"We all die, Bella." He purred, stepping closer. He reached out with a hand and swept it across my cheek, shuddering as he did. I could almost feel his hunger rolling off of him as he inhaled my scent. "Well, some of us more quickly than others."

"Namely vampires." I sighed, with a bored tone. "So are we doing this or not?"

"Are you in that much of a rush to die? I thought maybe we could relive some of the old days. When you were a little more–" He clicked his jaw as his smile widened. "Submissive? Vulnerable? Virginal?"

"Fuck you, Luke."

"You were so young, and naive. So pure, and open to anything." He stepped closer still, brushing my hair over my shoulder as he leaned into my neck. He licked the skin over my carotid artery and shuddered. "No?"

I shook my head, frozen to the spot in fear and disgust. How the hell had I ever trusted the asshole? He had fed from my weakness. He'd seen how broken I was and had exposed that, using it to get what he wanted from me. It was amazing what you saw of people when the darkest sides of them were exposed.

"Are you going to fight us, Bella?"

"Wouldn't that be a little redundant?" I snapped, my eyes rising to meet his, all of my anger and hatred seething out of me and into him. He was pathetic. He was happy to be doing Victoria's work for her. He was happy to be her obedient pet. "And anyway, wouldn't that get you in trouble with your mistress?"

Luke sniffed me again and laughed.

"Don't think for a second I didn't volunteer for this one my little tootsie pop." He circled me slowly, and stopped behind me. He pulled me back against his body, rocking his hips against my ass so I could feel just how aroused her was. His hand slid over my belly and down, until I finally took control of the situation.

"You disgust me, Luke. As a human you were pathetic and sad. You lived a pointless existence. As a vampire, you're even worse." I let off a condescending laugh and shook my head. "You're still making up for what you lack, aren't you?"

He growled in my ear, but released me. "You're playing a dangerous game, Bella."

"Not with what you're working with." I said, making a - _what can you do?_ - expression at him.

Luke stepped in front of me and smiled again. With one curled finger, he beckoned one of the other vampires forward. Before I could even acknowledge how quickly he'd moved, he had my body immobilized in his grasp, both of my hands bulled behind my back. Luke leaned forward and, accidental or intentional, shook the earpiece right out of my ear, his smile raw and angry around the edges.

"I'd hoped we could do this the fun way." He looked up at the vampire holding me. "You know where to take her. I'll be right behind you, just got to pick a few things up."

The vampire holding my arms pushed me forward, down the street toward the dull lights that would do nothing but amplify the faces of those ugly shits that stood around me. Most of them were a little older than most of the other vampires I'd seen, so I could only assume they were the homeless men that had been picked up off the streets and converted for Victoria's own selfish means.

"She's going to kill you when you've served your purpose," I said gently to the man pushing me forward. "You're a tool to her, someone she can use to get her own way."

"My life way over anyway, kid."

"So you're just going to let her use you and kill you?" I asked, as the other three closed in around us. I could feel their hunger swirling around me as the closed in ranks and frog marched me to God knew where.

"We're not going to hang around long enough for her to kill us, peaches." Another of the men said quietly. "We're real sorry to be doing this to you and all, but we's gotta be thinking 'bout ourselves."

Sadly, that wasn't going to happen no matter what they did. If they continued to drag me toward the bitch, their worthless lives would, more than likely, be ended by my friends. If they let me go, there was a chance they could break for it before that happened. This was their only chance to get away, but I wasn't giving away my own little surprise to make that happen.

"It's your funeral pyre."

"What's that?"

I offered the men a shrug and tried to keep up with them as they moved as a unit. In the dim glow of the streets they weaved me through, they seemed less scary than they had been in the dark. From somewhere, I'd managed to dig deep and find strength I didn't know I possessed. The further we walked, the more I let my spine straighten, and my head lift. If I was going to do this, I was going to do it with dignity.

They walked me back toward the ground zero of empty stores and hollowed shells of shopping centers that had once been thriving until the homeless and drug dealers had taken over. Ahead of us, there was a huge building that looked as though it had once been a grocery store. There were a couple of windows in the front that had been bricked up. But the door only seemed to be covered with plywood that slapped in the breeze. I could only imagine that it was my destination.

The four men marched me into the building, and toward the back. The shelves had been used to make a maze. The men navigated easily through the twists and turns, but my head seemed lost the more corners we took. I just hoped that Jasper had managed to memorize all of this, because I sure as hell hadn't been able to follow it, and that was the point, wasn't it. Human minds would have given up long before they got to the end of it.

"Isabella Marie Swan, well aren't you a sight for sore eyes? Oh I'm sorry. That's Isabella Masen now, isn't it?" Victoria purred in her child like voice as we came to the end of the maze of shelves. It was like nails down a chalkboard to my ears. I despised her.

She was sat on a broken, dilapidated couch; two men sat by her feet as she stroked their hair. They looked like stone statues as they leaned into her touch. I didn't recognize either of them, so I could only assume that they'd been with her for a while, because they sure as hell hadn't been homeless guys. They looked befitting of the cover of GQ rather than the slums of Las Vegas.

"Aren't they pretty?" She giggled maniacally. "I found them in the Black Hills of South Dakota. You have to love bikers, they have so much spirit, which makes them all the more fun to break."

She let her pale hand run over the shoulder of the one closest to her, his eyes closed, his head falling back as he offered her his wrist. I watched, unable to remove my eyes as Victoria picked up a knife and scored his skin. She tipped her head and accepted the dribble of blood that dropped to her lips and the back of her throat. The men were human.

She snapped her teeth together, looking as though she were holding back as she hummed her satisfaction.

The man didn't even blink as his arm was dropped. He just wrapped it around her leg, his head resting on her knees as though he were waiting for her to acknowledge him.

"I picked up a few things along the way." Victoria cackled, running her thumb along her bottom lip and rubbing off the small amount of blood she'd missed. "Apparently those Russian whores Laurent chose over me, have been onto something with the whole Succubus thing. Sex gives you power, fear gives you loyalty. It's a wicked combination, but then you've been using that to your advantage for years haven't you, Bella?"

"If I realized you were going to talk so much, I would have brought ear plugs. You really do like the sound of your own voice, don't you?"

"Make snide comments all you want. I can smell your fear."

"Then you're smelling the wrong human. I'm not afraid of you. You annoy the shit out of me, but fear..." I smelled under my pits and leaned into the homeless guy next to me. "That smell like fear to you?"

The guy chuckled, but shut his mouth and looked down at his feet as Victoria shot him a look. She apparently didn't appreciate my sense of humor. Not that I could blame her, I was being rather condescending.

Victoria rose to her feet, her body curling like a cat as she prowled toward me like a predator. Each footstep was designed to intimidate, elegant in its execution. I'm sure men would find it sexy as hell, but for me, I just wanted to laugh at her and make more quips about sexuality and her stupidity.

"Six years I've waited for this. _Six_."

"I'm well aware of that. You're like a pesky shadow, always on my heels. How can I forget that?"

"Oh I don't know." She cooed, her finger running along her hairline as she contemplated me. "Considering how you drowned your sorrows and fucked your way through the death of your father, what's a girl to think? You almost looked like you were having fun."

I lunged for her, but the men around me were too quick and I was subdued long before I was able to physical move myself from the spot I'd been occupying.

"I want to rip your head off your shoulders and burn you until your nothing but ashes. You're a cold, callous bitch and I hope you feel every rip as you're pulled limb from limb. Every. Fucking. Rip."

"Luke?" Victoria snapped, baring her teeth at me. "Luke? Where the hell are you?"

"Don't get your panties in a wad woman. I had something I needed to do," Luke said, stepping from the shadows of the maze and into the dim light that seemed to leave little illumination around the big open space. He looked sinister as he sauntered forward. "I see you started the fun without me."

"Well you do insist on dawdling. How many following?"

"Two males. They're up high, but other than that, I haven't seen a thing."

Victoria gave off a satisfied smirk and moved to a door that had a fading STAFF ONLY written on it. She barked out orders and eight more former homeless people appeared. I counted in my head, three times over as they shuffled out and ran toward the maze. There were more than we'd expected, which meant she'd been scouting and recruiting outside of Vegas.

"You don't look so good, Bella."

"You kinda smell bad. I'm guessing there's no showers in here?"

"Bravery will only get you so far before you piss me off, Bella. It would be wise of you to shut up before I get bored of you."

"You mean after six years you're not bored?" I asked struggling against the arms of the homeless guy.

"On the contrary. Now I have you, I'm just getting started. By the time I'm finished, you're going to be begging me to kill you. Your humanity has always been a problem, you care so much about the people around you."

"You mean like you cared about James?"

Before I could blink she was up in my face, her eyes frenzied as she glared at me.

"You never say his name. Ever." She looked over my shoulder to where I could sense Luke Standing. "Do it."

I struggled against the arms that held me as my blood ran ice cold in my veins. Do what? What were they planning on doing? As I felt a pinching on my arm I looked down at the tourniquet that had created dimples in my skin. I moved my eyes from that to the needle Luke was holding in his hands.

A needle full of Heroin.

Oh God. Half of me called out with glee, the other with horror.

Everything I'd worked for. Everything I'd put myself through to get beyond it. It was my greatest weakness, and the best weapon Victoria could have used against me and she knew it. I was worse than useless with that shit in my veins, and she was counting on that.

"Do. It."

I felt the prick of the needle as the claws of craving ripped through my body and into my head. It chanted for me to reach out, to hit the plunger myself. It begged and pleaded, while my heart broke into pieces in my chest. Ryan would die because of my weaknesses. He would die because I couldn't fight against this. Not when it still had so much power over me.

"_Do it_!" Victoria screamed.

I turned my head and watched as a small roll of my blood filled the needle before he pushed the plunger and released the tourniquet.

I felt my whole body shudder in pleasure as my bones turned to liquid and I sank to the floor.

* * *

**Authors Note: **Victoria is diabolical, and I'm not even sure if that word covers it enough. She's been craving retribution for so long, she can't simply kill Bella and be done with it. She wants more. She wants to take the Cullens down with Bella because she blames them too. Somewhere in that messed up head of hers, she think James was innocent. She's forgotten that he instigated the fight.

Thank you all for reading, adding to alerts and faves, and for the amazing reviews. You guys have been so amazing to me and I love you for sticking with me, even when the path ahead is a little sticky. I truly think appreciate you taking the time out to let me know what you think.

Pinkindeed... I adore you! You know this!

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie, my best friends in the world. I love you both so very much... Counting down the weeks...

**MWAH! **


	34. Chapter 34: Diabolical

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 34: Diabolical**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_And now all your love will be exorcised  
And we will find your sayings to be paradox  
And it's an even sum  
It's a melody  
It's a battle cry  
It's a symphony_

_**Seven Devils by Florence + The Machine**_

* * *

I wasn't aware of much other than the euphoric rush through my veins. It flooded my system and took me away to a cloud where I felt as though I should be doing something. I just couldn't remember what. So I let go, let the hands, so many hands, move me around until darkness surrounded me.

I wasn't sure how long I stayed that way. I wasn't even sure if it was my mind shutting down or I was in a dark space, but it didn't matter. I quieted the part of myself that seemed to be shouting and clawing, pushing my mind to consciousness. My whole body was delightfully numb, there was no aching in my head or chest anymore, there was no thinking, the constant tick of my brain was now gone.

Then I floated.

I wasn't sure how long I was out of my head high. I wasn't even sure when I started coming back down until reality began seeping in and I began remembering where I was, and who I was with, or more to the point who had me.

I sat up in the dark room, still feeling a buzz running through my body. I ached as though hours had past, and the thing that pissed me off was how much of a possibility there was in that. They'd shot me up with Heroin. Depending on how much they'd given me, I could have been in here between hours and days.

A groan somewhere deep in the room made my head swivel. It was so dark, not even the shadows seemed to reveal anything. I tried to shuffle away from the sound, but it was like a surround sound. It circled me the sound reverberating from the walls, some growls filling the spaces. They were different tenors and bass, all of them seemingly in the same state of paralysis.

Realization dawned on my foggy mind and I froze in the middle of the floor. Unable to move anywhere, afraid that I would bump into whatever the hell was inside the space with me. When the door opened, I took the opportunity of the dull light to look around, before my eyes hit the door in fear. This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be what my life had come down to.

"You look scared, Bella." Luke laughed, stepping into the room with a couple of candles in each hand.

"Fuck you, Luke." I replied hoarsely, my voice raw from disuse.

He set the candles down on the ground and backed slowly out of the room, his smile viscous. He was enjoying every second of this.

"Why? Why are you helping her?" I groaned, my whole body feeling like melted candle wax.

"Because you never cared, because you use people. Because it was so easy for you to walk away from me."

"_What_? You asked _me_ to leave. Not the other way around."

"You were never there though. You checked out, even when I was between your thighs, you were always somewhere else, thinking of somebody else. I loved you."

I pulled my knees to my chest, my hands tangling in my hair. I tried to think back to our time together. When I had been living with him, sharing his bed. He'd never displayed any kind of affection. Was I that far gone as to not notice? Even before I started taking heroin?

"I never knew."

"Of course you didn't. You were using me for a roof over you head. You were so far in your own head you just didn't care. It doesn't matter now though, because look around you. Every man you ever used is about to wake up blood thirsty and pissed off at the world. The last thing they remember before the haze of drugs, is fucking you." He laughed bitterly. "And seeing as this is Vegas and all. We've upped the ante. The only one we let go was loyal for one reason, and you're the only one that can keep that reason alive."

He stepped out of the room and pushed in a small girl. Her face was smeared with tears and dirt. Her pigtails were uneven and knotted. She couldn't have been more than five, and she was clutching a panda bear to her chest as though it were the only thing that was keeping her together. The door slammed closed behind her, and in the flicker of the flames I could see her trembling, her bottom lip vibrating as she shrunk in on herself.

I pushed up off the floor. The lingering drugs in my system making me weave awkwardly across the room. Now there was light, I almost wished there wasn't. I fell to my knees in front of the child and tried to smile, even though my heart was in my throat and the rush of blood in my ears was deafening me.

"Hi," I said gently, as the girls shrunk back from me. "I'm not going to hurt you, honey. I'm like you."

"I want my daddy." She whispered quietly. "He promised he would come back for me."

"Who is your daddy, Sweetie?" I asked, although I believed I already knew.

"His name is David."

I closed my eyes and tried to keep myself calm. I finally understood why he'd betrayed me, why he'd been so adamant about getting us to where we needed to be. Pain in my chest made me sway on my knees. How the hell was I supposed to keep us alive?

"I know your daddy. My name is Bella. What's your name?"

"L–Lauren."

"Well that's a very pretty name."

She trembled as one of the men in the room writhed in pain, his back arching as though he were possessed. I pulled Lauren into my arms, grabbing a candle as I took us to the one corner that wasn't occupied by the six men in the room. I put her in the corner and blocked her in as best I could so I could at least try to protect her.

"Did my daddy send you to get me?" She sobbed, holding the panda even closer to her as she huddled into the metal walls. "He was here with uncle Ryan, but the lady said Uncle Ryan had to stay."

What did I say to that? What if I couldn't save her? What if we both died in this room? There were six men, turning into vampires before our very eyes and they would wake up with a thirst that would most likely draw them toward us in a frenzy. I couldn't fight off one of them, how the hell was I supposed to keep six of them at bay?

Wait. There were six. There had been six including Luke, so did that mean...

"Stay here, Lauren. I'll be right back."

She nodded, her dirty tear streaked face getting paler as I stood and wobbled on my legs. I took away her only source of light and walked around the room slowly, shining the glow of the light at each of the faces as I passed. I recognized every one of them. Something in their features triggering off a memory in my twisted, chemical filled mind. Then there was one that was more familiar than the rest.

"Oh God, Ryan." I mumbled, lowering myself to my knees in front of him as his body strained under the weight of the pain he was suffering. There was no saving him now. He was too far gone in the change, even his features were slowly beginning to change. He was the same, but more beautiful, and he would be deadly.

I scrambled back to the corner and blocked Lauren's tiny body in the corner as reality started to sink in. I prayed that my family would be looking for me. That they would get to me before any of these men woke up. I may have been resigned to die if need be, but I would not subject this child to that. She was innocent, caught in the crossfire of a war between Victoria and I.

This was the worst-case scenario. The one Rosalie had been having me prepare for. How could I have let myself get drugged and thrown into a metal box that, at one time, had been a walk in freezer. There was no digging out of it, no hammering on the sides. I doubted there was even a video feed going out to where Jasper was monitoring it. They wouldn't know the horrors I was facing. They wouldn't know about the child who was trapped inside with me.

My stupid plan was going to get the two of us killed. My only peace came from knowing that Victoria would doubtfully survive this either. I just didn't want that for Lauren. She was so young, had so much life to live. She would be traumatized enough as it was without watching what was about to wake up.

"Who are these people?" Lauren whispered, her body leaning into mine for warmth.

"Just people honey. We need to stay very still and very quiet, kay?" She nodded at me, her panda getting strangled in her anxiety. "Who's this?"

"Bentley." She whispered. "That's my daddy's favorite kind of car."

"It's a good name. Has Bentley been keeping you safe?"

"Uh huh."

"That's good. Have the people been feeding you?"

"Chicken nuggets from McDonald's. If nana knew she'd be real mad. She calls it junk food and says that I don't need it."

"Well maybe we shouldn't tell her."

Lauren giggled, and snuggled into Bentley. It amazed me how resilient children could be. Here she was in the middle of a nightmare, and she was the one keeping me focused and calm. Her normal chatter seemed to keep the buzz of panic out of my head. I just hoped that I would be enough to keep her alive until somebody found us.

I needed to be more prepared. I needed to know what was going to happen. Who had been the first to be bitten? Who would wake up first? How long would they be disorientated before they honed in on the only food source inside the room? I should have been asking questions like that. I knew the bare minimum, and that was only because I had been curious. It was nothing to do with what I would be walking in on.

The groans in the room began coming louder and stronger, the bodies undulating in the flickering cast of light from the candles. There was one still by the door, dancing and making the twisting forms of the bodies look like something that would hide in a closet. It was terrifying, and I knew I had to do something to stop Lauren from seeing it.

"Hey, do you think you could close your eyes and try to sleep? Bentley and I will watch over you."

"But–"

"I won't leave you honey."

"I'm scared."

God. Me too, I thought forcing a smile to my lips. I wrapped my arms around her and rocked a couple of times, hoping the movement would reassure her. When she yawned. I continued, hoping that we had a little while before anyone woke up.

It took a while to finally get her there. The bodies that were fighting the venom in their veins would twist and convulse around us, groans of pain bouncing off the metal walls making Lauren's eyes flutter open. I cooed reassurances and rocked her off again. The whole time my eyes were scanning the room, looking for any signs of wakefulness.

When she was snoring lightly, I lowered her into the corner, with Bentley snuggled in close. I covered her with my body, leaning over her so that she was fully hidden behind me. I must have sat there for hours willing the buzzing out of my mind, and the craving from my gut. I didn't think one hit would send me back into the withdrawals I'd had before, but I wasn't sure. I was still high as a kite. My body was still filled with chemicals that would eat the panic as it rose.

This wasn't the time to be complacent. I needed to be on point and focused. More to the point, where the hell was everybody? There was no way I should have been in this place for more than ten minutes, that was the plan. They trace me and follow me in. Get me out, kill the bitch.

Had something happened to them? We're they hurt? Had something gone wrong? Had I lost signal too early? Were they having trouble finding me?

I had to stop. Even high I was starting to drive myself insane. This wasn't helping anyone, let alone Lauren and me. If I was going to start obsessing over something, it should have been getting out of the metal box that had us trapped on four sides.

Something moved to my right and my eyes slid slowly over to the wall, where a figure was slowly pushing up to his hands and knees. I couldn't see who it was, or how big he was. All I could see was the tight ridges of muscle in his body. The jerky movements as he pushed to his knees and looked around the room caught in the flickering flames of the burning candle. Then his eyes caught mine.

I held the scream in my throat as the guy watched me intensely with blood red eyes. He studied me, the swallow of my suddenly filled mouth, the pulse in my throat, and every blink of my eyes. He seemed momentarily captivated by the simplest of things. Then he sniffed the air.

I was going to die. I was going to die with this man's teeth at my throat and there was nothing I could do to fend for myself. He was on his feet before I could even blink, and he looked down at himself in surprise as though he hadn't expected to move quite that fast. His attention seemed to be divided by things in the room, but his eyes always came back to me.

"I remember you."

"Hi." I squeaked. Hoping he remembered me enough not to eat me.

"You smell really good." Guy one said.

"Good enough to eat." Someone else said, jumping to his feet in a picture of dexterity.

Guy one turned to look at who was challenging him for his first meal. I was thankful that they'd recognized me, but I wasn't sure that was enough to stop the hunger that was sure to consume them the longer they were awake. I didn't know if they would kill one another or simply talk it out and share.

The feral look in their eyes didn't seem to say they were willing to share anything as they faced off nose to nose. They didn't say much other than growl at one another in a predatory way that echoed from the metal wall of the industrial freezer. The then pushing started.

I tried to keep my eyes everywhere at once, but every single one of them started stirring, one of their first glances was in my direction as though they knew what hey needed to do. Before I could register movement, there was a body leering over mine. I recognized the face because he was the last man I'd taken to my bed before all hell broke loose.

"Remember me?" He asked, his hand moving down my cheek.

I nodded, hoping recognition would be enough to keep me safe, but I could see the hunger in his eyes. I could see them moving between my face and the carotid artery. He was hungry, so hungry I could practically taste it myself. As he leaned in, my breath stuttered. I was so certain I was going to die.

Then he was ripped away and there was Ryan's face. Filled with worry as he stared at me. I could see the war behind his eyes as he looked between my and that pesky artery that seemed to pulse all on its own now I was terrified.

Another one of the men tried to push past Ryan and he spun on his heel and let out a roar of possessiveness that had me cowering in the corner and over Lauren's body. I was praying she wouldn't wake up, but I could feel her stirring.

My hand locked on her back and rubbed circles around it, until, against all odds, she went back to sleep. Even with the sound of rocks bashing against one another as fights broke out between several of the newborns. It was like my worst fear realized. All of these faces together, trying to get at me to kill me and I was helpless. Worse was the fact that they were all former lovers, and one that had wanted to be my lover.

If I ever got the hell out of there, I was going to need therapy for a lifetime. Jaws snapped and teeth cracked together as the men went head to head to get at one another for the right to feed they were hungry, the mentality of sharks coming into play as they realized that any one of them could drain me.

The only one with any sense of himself seemed to be Ryan. Between fighting and fighting off more contenders, his eyes were always on me. There was a hunger shining in his red eyes, but there was more than that, a protective nature that seemed to flare when any of the other guys got too close.

The fights escalated wildly, there were body parts all over the room we were in, grunts of pain and anger as they each tried to get past my sentry. Soon enough, there was just a groaning pile of injured vampires. Their bloodlust was still on fire, but like a pride of lions, they seemed to recognize the alpha male. All of them fell back to regroup as they cleaned their wounds.

Ryan eyed every one of them before turning back to me. I could see the hunger in his eyes, but I could also see him fighting it so much he looked like he was in pain. That was all I could ask for.

"Why didn't you stay away, Bella?" He asked, leaning down. He groaned in the back of his throat and rocked back on his heels. "God, you smell so good it hurts."

"Thanks. I think." I mumbled, but I met his eyes.

He reached out to touch my face, but I shrunk back. I still had Lauren behind me, and while she was there, I needed to keep Ryan talking. I needed to keep him in his right mind. Especially when he seemed to be swallowing back venom as though it were running freely in his mouth. His hands absently seemed to claw at his throat as though it were on fire, and I could only imagine that's exactly how it felt.

"Are you scared of me?" He choked out, sounding hurt and confused.

"I'm scared of your thirst." I shifted to the side to show him the child that had called him uncle, and he gasped, his red eyes taking her in.

"Is she–"

"Sleeping," I said. "But I need to get her out of here before they realize their thirst is more important than pissing you off, and before your hunger takes over. I know people that can help you, but you have to get me out of here."

"How?" He asked looking around.

"You're a vampire now," I said offering him a small smile. "You can go through the wall."

"_Vampire_?" He asked, his nails rasping against his Adams apple as though it would help to ease the burning.

"Focus, Ryan."

"Not sure I can."

"If you don't focus, you're going to kill Lauren and I."

"Never."

Ryan looked at me again, his eyes sliding down the carotid before glancing away. If this went on much longer, he would lose the battle against his instinct to kill us. It seemed as though it was only through the grace of god he'd managed to get his head straight before he approached me the first time around.

With a full-bodied shudder, he looked away and stopped breathing. He eyes the wall next to us and raised his hands over his head and pointed to me. I wasn't sure I was comfortable looking away from him, or the other vampires in the room, but it was better than getting nailed with the rubble from the hole he was about to put in the room.

He stepped back a couple of paces and looked down at me with his eyebrows raised. I knew he wasn't sure about this, he was worried that he was going to knock himself out and give the other vampires a free for all at me, but the truth was, I wasn't sure vampires even could get knocked out. They couldn't sleep.

He took off at the wall like a freight train. His legs pumping so hard, he was nothing but a blur to me. When he hit the wall he passed through it easily, he skidded to a halt and turned around, pulling drywall out of the way and bending the metal out of the way.

He still wasn't breathing, but it seemed to be working. The thirst was temporarily at bay.

Without hesitating, I pulled the girl into my arms as her eyes went wide with fear. She was wide awake now, but at least I had kept my promise to her and we were out of there.

"Bella?"

"It's okay, we're going to get out of here. Your uncle Ryan helped us out."

She looked at him shyly, her eyes widening before she buried her head in the nook of my neck. She could see the differences in him, just as clearly as I could. Though I could see he was hurt by the rejection, he didn't stop. He held his breath and pushed through the back doors to where I knew the maze of shelves had to be.

"Holy shit," I said, looking around the place. It looked as though it had been leveled. All of the shelves knocked over and pushed to the side, and there were small smoldering fires with sickly sweet smoke everywhere.

"You swored."

"I did, sorry." I mumbled, stumbling out further into the store.

"Why can I hear thunder?" Ryan asked. The moment he'd taken a breath to speak, he gravitated toward Lauren and I. He was so thirsty it was starting to make him react on instinct. I weaved away from him, putting some distance between us, and mouthed an apology.

"Where do you hear thunder?"

He pointed ahead.

"Can you hear how far?"

He held up two fingers.

"Two miles?"

He shrugged, looking like he was perplexed. Just as I was about to start forward when he fell into a crouch, his eyes locked onto the front of the building as he placed himself between us and it. He still wasn't breathing so I knew he had no idea what was coming through the door. I wasn't even sure. I just pulled Lauren closer to my body and hoped the other newborns were still too busy licking their wounds to realize they'd been liberated.

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**Authors Note: **So Ryan's tie to Bella is stronger than his bloodlust. I know that may be a little hard to swallow, but in this case it's really how things went about. His love for Bella and Lauren was stronger than his bloodlust. I'm not even sure Bella realized how in love with her he is. I would say she knows now.

Thanks to all of you for reading, adding to alerts and faves and for the amazing reviews. You guys blow me away and I can't thank you enough for taking time out of your day to let me know what you think. It means the world to me.

PinkIndeed. Thank you for your endless patience. You know I love you to bits!

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie. You girls know how much I love you 3

**MWAH!**


	35. Chapter 35: Chaos Ensues

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 35: Chaos Ensues**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

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_God knows what is hiding in this world of little consequence  
__Behind the tears, inside the lies  
__A thousand slowly dying sunsets  
__God knows what is hiding in those weak and drunken hearts  
__Guess the loneliness came knocking  
__No one needs to be alone, oh singing._

_**People Help The People by Birdy**_

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Lauren was completely buried into my body. Ryan's growling had made her body fall into stricken shivers of fear. I smoothed from the crown of her head, and down her back in an attempt to sooth her. Unfortunately, the more feral Ryan sounded, the further she fell into little convulsions of shivers. The child was terrified, and I couldn't blame her. We were in a tight spot.

I looked behind me constantly as I cooed at her gently, my murmured reassurances falling on deaf ears. I was making sure we weren't being stalked by the other newborns, yet I still scanned the entrance of the ex-grocery store unsure of what was coming. My heart started hammering so hard I was feeling lightheaded and shaky myself. I was still more pissed off than terrified, but with Lauren in my arms I had the intrinsic need to protect her first and foremost.

Ryan grunted, his head swiveling on his shoulders so he could see me behind him and watch the front doors at the same time. He still wasn't breathing. It was just a constant rumble from his chest. He was making sure we were safe from whatever came at us and he was trying to take everything at once. It was still odd for me to think that he was so protective when my blood made the pain in his throat roar to life. I couldn't explain it, and I wasn't sure I wanted to dig any deeper.

"I'm good. Just watching our backs." I told him quietly as I stroked Lauren's hair. I was cradling her body against mine, but I highly doubted that it hid the rolling shivers that were working down my spine, or the sound of blood rushing through my veins that would probably echo in his ears like a sirens call.

He inched forward as the front boards of the building were kicked in. His power raw instinct as his muscles bunched and tensed ready to spring at whoever came at us. Of course the grand entrance of whoever was at the front echoed around the building, and we were out of luck. I could hear the other newborns shifting through the hole in the wall of the metal box. My eyes locked on the door between the two, trusting that Ryan had whatever was coming from the front.

Panic was like acid in my veins as I strained to hear the bodies moving closer to the swinging doors that led out to the floor we were standing on. Ryan was one vampire, a newborn at that, and I was a human. There was no way we could– When I felt a cool hand on my arm, I jumped and spun around to see Ryan standing straight, his Adams apple bobbing as he pointed to the front doors of the grocery store.

I spun around and almost sighed in relief. We weren't out of danger yet, but Lauren was. Dave was stood at the doors, guns in every space on his person he could find. He'd come for his little girl.

Ryan pointed to himself and back to the doors, then to me and back to Dave. He was telling me to get ourselves out of there. I hated the thought of leaving him there to fight alone, but my first priority in that moment was getting Lauren as far away from the place as possible. With a nod, I took off toward the front of the building, my eyes on my feet as my hands held the small girl to my body protectively.

When I looked up again, I could see Dave's wide, and blackened, eyes staring at me in disbelief as I hurtled toward him. I didn't stop until I was barely three feet in front of him, my breath falling out of me in pants as I skidded to a stop right there in front of him. Tears shone in his eyes as he looked at the child in my arms, and just like that, every tension that should have been between us disappeared.

"Bella– You. You saved her. After I–"

At the sound of his voice, Lauren looked up and launched herself at Dave, and right into his arms. He dropped the gun he was holding and cradled her against his body like she was the only thing that held him anchored. His eyes closed as his hands locked her against him, the tears falling freely now that he had his daughter with him. If the shit hadn't been about to severely hit the fan, I would have spent more time soaking up the reunion. As it was, I was a little high, and a lot distracted.

"Dave, get yourselves out of here. Don't look around, don't come back, and pretend you never saw any of this." I barked out, my eyes flitting to the back of the store, where Ryan was locked in place.

"Bella. Come with us. I can keep you safe."

He had no idea how good that sounded considering what was coming for us, but I had to see this through to the end. High tailing it out of there would do no one any good, and the thought of leaving everyone behind made my stomach roll. I wouldn't abandon them, and I wouldn't rest until I saw Victoria's body disintegrate into ashes before my very eyes.

"I appreciate the offer, but I can't. Get Lauren out of here, Dave. I have to see his ended. I'll find you later."

He nodded sadly as though he'd expected as much and eyed Ryan who was watching the doors, his back to us. Even from this distance you could see the tension in his shoulders as he waited for the attack and fought the smell of human blood that had no doubt strengthened since Dave's arrival.

"Ry–"

"It's too late. You have to get out of here, Dave. I promise I will look after him. You can't be a part of this world. You have to pretend you didn't see any of this, for your own safety. For Lauren's. Do you understand me?"

He nodded in a jerky movement, his eyes finding mine. It was full of apologies and sadness.

"You come and find me when you can, Bella, you hear?"

If I got out all of this alive I would go and say goodbye. Even if it was just reassure him and reiterate the fact that if he breathed a word of what he'd seen he'd be in danger. Now I knew about the Volturi, I wasn't going to risk the people in my life. I would end this with Victoria and move on. It was all I had motivating me right now. I had no idea where my family was or whether any of them were hurt.

"You need to know, it's a war zone out there," Dave said looking over his shoulder. "Whatever fight started in here, the whole neighborhood is now in on it. It's fast turning into a riot."

"Then you get the hell out of here, and you look after that little girl."

He nodded, just as Lauren leaned out of his embrace and locked her eyes on mine. "Bye, Bella."

"Bye, sweetheart. You look after your daddy, 'kay?"

She nodded and crumpled into him again. Dave didn't hesitate. He turned and bolted from the door, his big arms cradling the child against his chest. I took a second to breathe, my hands on my hips as I drew a deep breath in and let an even bigger one out. I had to find the others. I had to let them know I was safe. This had turned into the biggest mess possible if what Dave had said was true. Sadly, the surreal buzz from the last of the Heroin in my system really wasn't helping either. I was going to light up Victoria's ass for that, I really was.

I looked over my shoulder at Ryan. He was as still as a statue as his eyes locked on the door that lead to the back of the store and that metal room we'd been trapped in. I had no doubt he would stand guard there for as long as I needed him too, but we couldn't hang around. We needed to find the others.

I whistled once getting Ryan's attention, he looked over his shoulder at me, looking disappointed.

"Get out of here, Bella."

"Not without you. Come on, we have to find the rest of my group."

"No. I can't let these savages out into the world. You go."

I was finally starting to see how much a hero complex could be a huge pain in the ass. As much as I agreed about the newborns, he couldn't take them all on again, and he couldn't be left alone. If he took off and came across a human, there was no telling what he would do. He'd held on for too long already. I needed to make sure that he didn't taste human blood, I was afraid he'd be lost to the bloodlust.

"Not leaving without you buddy."

I heard him grumbling at the other end of the store as he started shoving things against the door, and stacking them so it would slow them down. He'd messed them up pretty badly the first time around. Maybe it was enough to keep them inside until they could come back for them.

He addressed me from the other end of the store, his hands fisting and releasing as though he were concentrating with everything he had.

"This thirst thing is getting worse, Bella. I don't think... I don't _want _to hurt you. I need you to try and keep me from attacking someone. It hurts, my throat is on fire and everything in me is telling me to drain you dry. If I become a danger, promise me you'll run."

"I promise," I said easily, strength in my voice as I held my head up high. I wasn't suicidal. All of this had been about finally living. I wasn't going to go and get myself killed now. Not after what I'd already fought to get through.

"I hate this."

"I know. I promise I will get you help with this, but you have to be strong."

He nodded and sucked in a large amount of breath. His eyes slamming shut as he gathered himself after the shock of smelling my blood on the inhale. He approached slowly, looking a little more comfortable now the fog had cleared. I took point and moved to the door ahead of him. As I stepped through the gap that Dave had created, my breath left me in a rush.

I'd thought Dave had been exaggerating about the chaos on the streets. I'd thought he was just sensationalizing it to get me to go with him, but as my eyes scanned the area around the store I realized how understated the word riot had actually been.

A small strip mall across the street was blazing against the darkness of the night sky, and people were fighting in front of it. There were holes in the buildings surrounding it, many of them brought to rubble. There were smaller fires burning with small cloying clouds of deep saccharine smoke reaching into the dull glow of the sky above it. Humans were smashing anything around the edges of the fighting, their battle cries ringing out along with gunshots and the gleaming of weapons in their hands.

Beyond the fire I could hear the thunder that Ryan had alluded to, and knew that was where the others had moved the fight. They wanted to be out of sight. Their fight concealed by the chaos of the humans own need to destroy everything.

In a word; it was bedlam. They were leveling the neighborhood.

"We have to get around the humans."

"How?" Ryan forced out, using a small amount of his oxygen.

I put my hands on my hips and stared out at the problem in front of me. There were humans everywhere. My eyes lifted to some of the buildings that were, as of yet, untouched around the mess. I hated putting Ryan in a bad situation, but I couldn't think of another way.

"You want to try some more of that vampire strength of yours?"

He shrugged.

"You may have to carry me. Is that too much for you?"

Ryan looked at me for a moment. I could see him trying to edge closer, his mind processing the heat in my body and the tumbling beat of my heart and the flood of blood through my veins. He got so close I could feel the coolness of his skin as it ebbed through his clothing and washed over me. I knew he was testing himself. Making sure that he could handle having me that close. When he finally held out his arms, I sighed in relief and gave him a nod.

He pulled me into his arms easily, cradling me against his chest as his arms locked in on my neck.

"Focus, Ryan. We'll get you something to drink the moment this is over."

He closed his eyes and swallowed a couple of times. He was still not breathing.

"You need to jump up on that roof and follow them around. You're capable of covering a lot of distance quickly now. You can jump to that building across the street and carry us around. You good with that?"

Ryan didn't acknowledge the question, he just leaped into action, his body bunching and moving quickly as he followed the path I'd laid out. None of the humans below on the ground noticed our path, and as we leaped over them the noise was enough to rattle my molars. It was like hell on earth had been unleashed.

I tried to keep my eyes closed as we traveled. It seemed to go faster that way. Ryan, being so new to it all was surprisingly fluid and graceful in his movements, and when he came to a stop, I allowed my eyes to flash open. We were still on the roof, but below was another kind of chaos.

There were vampires everywhere, and now two wolves were in the mix. Most of the family was in view and eased me a little, but there was no Victoria, Luke, or Edward anywhere to be seen. Ryan lowered me to my feet on the roof next to him and looked over at me.

I knew he was wondering who I was looking for. I could see the curiosity in his eyes as he scanned the fight going on below us. Then his head turned to the west, his body lowering into an attack stance as his growl rose in his throat again.

"Oh, now this is disappointing," Victoria said, landing on a thin wall and pacing slowly. "I'd thought he'd be the one to end you. Especially when it was your name he screamed out in his nightmares."

Ryan cringed but stayed in his attack stance. The growl he was emitting simply got louder. Victoria really did have a way of pissing people off.

I was so tired of hearing her voice. She was just clucking away like a mother hen as she paced the small ledge of the building, her red hair fanning into the wind as it swept around her. She still moved like a cat, she still had that undeniable grace she'd always had, but her eyes were crazed. Rosalie was right about her. She'd lost her mind.

"Still, the debt is settled. Apparently, Luke doesn't like knowing his Bella has been playing with other vampires." She ran her finger along her neck and made a cracking sound before letting out a laugh that was close to a hyena's.

I dove forward, but strong arms caught me until I was flailing like a flag in the wind. My body twisted and bent to get out of the grip. I was going to tear her throat out with my bare hands. I was going to light up her ass like she was a fucking candle and stomp on her until the flames went out.

"You sick fucking bitch." I screamed as Ryan pulled me back against his body, his arms going around my waist holding me against his body. I didn't believe Edward was gone. I couldn't. He would never have been incapacitated that easily, especially not be someone like Luke. She was, once again, pushing my buttons and she knew it.

Victoria curtsied on the lip of the building. With a flash of her teeth, she held out her hand, her smile triumphant. "I'll take that as a compliment. Now, come to me, Ryan."

I looked up at Ryan over my shoulder. Was he tied to her in some way? Did he– His eyes narrowed with raw hatred and his lips peeled back over his teeth until even I was shrinking back. I guess that answered that question.

"Go to hell, you megalomaniacal whore."

"You said–" Victoria hissed, narrowing her eyes.

"I lied," Ryan said. "You think I have any interest in you whatsoever? You're a cold, bitter bitch. You live for vengeance, and it shows the ugliness in that pretty exterior of yours. Maybe one day you'll get the concept of self-preservation, but by the looks of it, the hot blonde behind you won't let you live that long."

Out of the shadows of the building behind her, Tanya flew through the darkness and knocked Victoria to the ground of the roof. The two of them rolled over the tar and stone mixture until Tanya was straddling Victoria's waist, pinning her to the ground below.

"You really think I'm hot?" Tanya asked, winking at Ryan.

Was she seriously flirting while pinning Victoria down as though she were an inanimate object? I could swear the woman could flirt in the apocalypse. She never missed an opportunity. It was a little inappropriate, but hell this was Tanya we were talking about.

Victoria let out a feral scream, bucking wildly under Tanya's body, but she was immovable. A force of nature that would counter any move Victoria tried to make against her.

"Will you just shut up?" Tanya growled. "I would end you right now, but I made a friend a promise and... Oh, here she is now."

I looked up and saw Rosalie crouched on the edge of the building, and man did she look pissed. Her blonde hair was a mess, falling out of the neat braid she'd put in before we'd left the hotel. Her jeans were torn and dirty, and her shirt was ripped up one side. She'd been fighting hard. Her normally golden eyes were a flat black as she glared at the woman writing under Tanya's hold.

"Bella?" she said, her eyes moving from Victoria to me, softening only a little. Her eyes moved over my body checking for injuries and to the man behind me, still holding my arms. He dropped his hands quickly, but stayed close.

"I'm fine. Not a scratch." _Just a little high and freaked out_. I finished in my head.

She nodded and stepped off the ledge, her body's raw power in a prowl as she circled her prey. Victoria watched her, her red eyes not moving from the lithe body that fell gracefully into a crouch next to her.

"Tanya, are you comfortable?" Rose ground out.

Tanya grinned and wiggled over Victoria's body. "Yup."

"Good, because this is going to take a while."

I'd never seen Rose looking as animalistic as she did in that moment. There was raw power in her muscles, and hatred shining from her face as she looked down at the vampire pinned under Tanya. She took one of Victoria's arms from under Tanya's hold. She caught Victoria's eyes with her own and smiled viciously.

"I will have you scream for every piece of harm you've caused." She ripped a finger from the hand she had in hers. Victoria's eyes narrowed and she simply smiled. Rosalie took it as a sign to continue, her body working quickly until Victoria was beginning to grunt in discomfort. She dismantled her piece by piece until Victoria's screams bounced from the surrounding buildings.

The pain on Victoria's face began to crescendo, her features twisting and distorting. Rosalie continued to work, ignoring the sound emitting from the woman she was working on. I could feel Ryan shifting beside me. I wasn't sure if it was his hunger, or the torture that was making him uncomfortable.

I stepped out of his body, but he didn't move to follow. He stayed where he was as I moved to Victoria's side and lowered myself to my knees next to her head. Something inside of me shifted as she threw back her head and screamed so loud it made my blood run cold.

As much as I wanted to see her hurt for what she'd done, this wasn't right. This was something she would do. Rose and Tanya were better than that, and as much as I loved them for doing this for me, I knew it was time to end it. It was time to put her out of her misery and watch her ashes scatter in the wind.

"No more, Rose."

"You sure?"

I nodded, and she sat back. Victoria stilled against the ground, pain still distorting her features as her eyes moved slowly to me. She was panting in pain, but the hatred shone from her eyes. She didn't want my pity. She saw this as a weakness in me.

"You're. Pathetic." She heaved out.

I laughed once, the sound sharp and contradictory to my emotions. I had known she would always hate me. I had expected this hatred from her, and I knew she wouldn't take pity gracefully. She'd been dead for a while. She'd died the night we'd killed James. The only thing keeping her going was her retribution and anger. It shone out of her eyes as she glared at me.

"That may be," I said quietly. "But don't mistake this for a weakness, Victoria. I'm tired of running, tired of fearing you, and tired of looking over my shoulder. All this time, and you still can't see that you haven't lived since James died. I want to watch you die, just like you made me do with my father."

I looked down as something was placed in my hand. It was a gold _Zippo_ lighter. Victoria noticed the exchange as well, her eyes going wide with fear. She was finally seeing where all of this was going.

"I don't fear you now. I haven't in a while. I pity you because the truth is you're pathetic. You're all alone. A bitter bitch with nothing but hatred and vengeance."

I flipped open the lighter, the clink of metal echoing through the night. The rasp that followed gave way to the orange glow of the flame that danced in the wind. I lowered it to the mane of red hair and held it until the fire took. Victoria screamed bloody murder, Rose and Tanya pulled me away from the inferno that began and took over quickly. Rose kicked the pieces she'd ripped from the woman's body into the lick of flames that were consuming her.

I stood between two of my best friends, looking down at the one thing that had made my life miserable as she was decimated into a dust pile in front of our very eyes. Much like Carlisle, I hated the thought of taking a life, but I couldn't have had one while she was still alive. She would never have let me live without always being a thundercloud over my head. Her purpose in life for the last six years was to make mine miserable before killing me.

"What the hell just happened?" Ryan asked as he approached, his body stiffening as my blood filled his nose.

"Freedom." Rose murmured, her arm going around my waist and pulling me into her side so our temples met in the middle. "Absolute."

"Freedom," I whispered as the wind carried the ashes off the roof and into the darkness of the night.

* * *

**Authors Note: **I had a bit of a battle going on in my head when I wrote this. I realize that the end of Victoria was probably a little easier than you expected. As much as I was willing to go to a fight, I wasn't sure that Ryan would be able to hold on that long. Then there was Tanya and Rose. They love Bella too much to ever let her down, which is why they waited to attack Victoria until Bella was there. Victoria didn't have a chance. I wanted to show that.

We have three chapters left, and I hope you enjoy them, so we're not through just yet! ;)

Thank you all for reading, adding to your alerts and favorites, and thank you for the reviews. For taking time our of your day to let me know what you think and giving me your thoughts on what may happen next. You guys have been so amazing! I love you all.

PinkIndeed... I adore you and thank you for always being such a supportive friend.

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie... I don't know what I would do without the two of you. I love you to the ends of the earth and beyond ;)

**MWAH!**


	36. Chapter 36: New Future Old Friends

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 36: New Future. Old Friends.**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_Standing on higher ground__  
__When you hear the sounds__  
__You realize its just the wind__  
__And you notice it matters who and what you let under your skin_

_**Line of Fire by Junip**_

* * *

I felt so tired. Exhausted really, but there was still things I had to do. I had to find Edward, talk to Leah, who'd appeared out of nowhere, and Paul, and try and explain to Ryan who these people were and how they could help. Standing on the roof with the thunderous battle rent in the air just wore me down further. Not even the breeze that danced around me seemed to rouse me from the weariness I was feeling.

Well, until I felt a marble elbow in my ribs.

I looked over at Tanya, who was looking at me with her eyes lit up like she was at a party rather than a fight to the death. I didn't think I would ever truly understand the woman. It was probably better not to try. She was just one of those people who took everything in their stride, it was one of the things I loved most about her.

_Introduce me_. She mouthed, her eyes flickering to Ryan and back.

I blinked a couple of times in surprise before smiling back at her.

"Tanya, this is Ryan. Ryan, this is my good friend Tanya."

Rose sighed next to me, her head shaking from side to side against mine. She knew as well as I did that Tanya would be more than happy to help Ryan acclimate into this lifestyle. I knew Ryan well enough to know he would be good to her if it went in that direction, and maybe if things went well, Tanya would be able to finally settle down like she'd wanted to.

"Ryan, would you be okay hanging here with Tanya while we go and sort through a few things?"

He opened his mouth and shut it, looking between Tanya and me as though he was unsure what I was asking of him. Even now his instinct was to protect me but it was my turn to protect him. Maybe he could even be happy in this new life of his.

"Don't you worry about me. I'll be fine."

He nodded and smiled over at Tanya, his eyes drinking her in from head to foot. I don't think he realized he was doing it until Tanya laughed and looped her arm through his, leading him to the back of the roof and away from the fight that was slowly starting to die down below us. I watched them go, their bodies slowly gravitating toward one another as the spoke in hushed tones, the wind dancing around them. I felt better knowing that he would be safe and not have to worry about his bloodlust for a while. He'd been so careful around me.

I took a breath and looked down at the fight in the street again, my eyes searching as best they could in the dim light. Now that things had calmed down on the roof and Victoria was well and truly gone, her words echoed in my head. Not being able to see Edward made a small panic stir in my stomach as I searched and came up with nothing.

"Victoria said–"

"He's right there," Rosalie said gently, pointing to a set of deep shadows that showed nothing. "You're first instinct to not believe the shit she sprouted was the right one. Luke, however, is still putting up quite the fight. So maybe–"

"Take me down there. He needs a distraction and after what he did to me, I will be more than happy to oblige. Oh, wait there's five newborns in grocery store, if they get out..."

Rosalie nodded to the building I'd been holed up in. The flames were reaching into the sky curling like limbs reaching. It was all consuming and fast moving as it lapped at the roof of the building. I spared a moment to think of each of the men that were trapped inside, their fates mingled with Victoria's. It was my fault they'd been through what they had. I was the one that had created this situation, and their decision to bed me, had led to their deaths. I could never apologize enough for that.

I watched for a moment longer. From up on the roof, I could see two figures backing away from the fire, their bodies close as they walked away. I scanned the roof in the direction Tanya and Ryan had walked toward, and realized it had been the two of them that had set fire to the place. I marveled at the fact that I hadn't even heard them leave.

"Come on, space cadet. If we keep you moving it may help with the withdrawals."

"I hate that he did that."

"You should have been on the roof with us. Edward... Didn't take that well."

"Which is why he's busting Luke's ass."

"Yes, but he's been dragging it out, with a little help from Paul. Who, by the way, wasn't much better than Edward when he saw that shit go down. How many admirers do you have, girl?"

"Don't even go there." I groaned, feeling the weight of lethargy settle in again. I was starting to feel like I could sleep for a week.

"I'm gonna grab you." Rose warned.

I nodded and squeaked as she pulled me into her arms and leaped from the building to the dark road below. There were fires being lit as the last of the newborns were disposed of. There were a few fights still going, but even I could see that my friends and family were more skilled and experienced than any of Victoria's minions they were fighting. It was all about numbers. Victoria had more than we'd known about and that was evident from the piles of vampire bodies that were burning. She'd been far more prepared than we'd assumed.

Rosalie and I jogged toward the alley where Edward and Paul were taking in turns with the vampire that had once been a familiar human to me. I felt terrible about using him as I had, because he'd been right. I hadn't been invested in the relationship I'd had with him. I was mourning the death of my father and hurting over Jacob's betrayal. I shouldn't have dragged anyone into my life, but I needed to forget. I'd need someone to take charge and just make me feel more than the emptiness that had begun swallowing me whole. I could take responsibility for what I had done to him, but I couldn't take responsibility for him loving me. I'd told him I was broken, but he'd insisted on the friends with benefits relationship we'd already started.

He'd never said a word about love when we had been together. He'd never even shown it. We went to bed together every night, we had some good sex, but at the end of it there was no hugging or spooning. We rolled over onto our respective sides, back to back, and fell asleep. There was no affection, no goosing or stolen kisses. How was I have supposed to have read that? I'd been forthcoming about my situation. How anyone could have fallen in love with the shell I had been was beyond me.

Every eye in the alley turned to Rose and I as we entered. There were two vampires and one wolf. The three of them seemed to scan me for injury. Paul and Edward seemed relieved that I was untouched. Luke alone seemed filled with disappointment. It was typical really. What else could I have expected of him at that point? He'd been stewing over my leaving him for a good long while, with Victoria in his ear egging on the loathing and resentment, it was a wonder he didn't kill me on sight.

As Luke stepped toward me, Paul's lips peeled back off of his long canines, his ears flat on his head. Edward growled so loud the sound reverberated from the walls and echoed in my head, making Luke freeze where he was.

"You have been a busy girl." Luke drawled. "How many more men would lay their lives down for you, peaches?"

"You never knew when to shut your mouth, did you?" I snapped. "Maybe you shouldn't try to figure things out, Luke. You never get it right."

"So, you're saying that these men don't have something for you? The vampire perked right up when you walked over, and the wolf–" He looked to Paul who was looking between us. He stopped the moment the vampire's eyes were on him and flattened his ears to his head again. "–I think he would hump your leg if he could."

"You're sick–"

"Then there's that poor guy, Ryan. He was head over heels for you."

"Stop it."

"Getting under your skin, tootsie pop?"

I hated that nickname. He'd used it since the fist time we'd been together. It was a sexual reference that I really wasn't into, but being as high as I was, I'd never corrected. With the memories all filtering back with the name, he was making me nauseous.

"There's the look I was waiting for. The amount of times I took you with that empty stare in your eyes."

Rose put her hand on my back out of support as the blood rushed to my face. I hated that I had a history with him, more than that, with every word he spoke, I was regretting the sex more and more. He knew how empty I'd been. I was broken and I was finally staring to realize that he'd used me, just as much as I'd used him, and I hated him for it. I hated myself.

Edward chose that moment to strike, his body coiled like a snake before striking out and pushing Luke face first into the brick wall. He leaned in, his anger worn like a badge. I'd never seen him looking so pissed off before, and I'd done a lot of button pushing.

"Don't you dare speak to her like that, you sick bastard."

"When I've been inside of her, I can speak anyway I choose. I know you feel me. I can smell her on you."

Paul's teeth snapped together, his growl pouring from his throat until the saliva dripped from the huge fangs in his mouth. Edward wasn't any less effected, his muscles became one tight line, his neck becoming rigid as his black eyes glazed over in a death mask. Luke wasn't walking out of this alive.

"Seriously, why are we still letting him talk?" A familiar voice said from behind me. I spun around and smiled at the woman leaning against the wall at the end of the alley. She was like a breath of fresh air through my stodgy, coagulation of thoughts.

"Leah." I broke away from the others and ran to her. She embraced me in a warm hug before backing away and looking at me.

"You look like shit, B."

"Thanks. I've been working on it, it's just the look I was going for."

Leah rolled her eyes and shot a look at Paul. "Stop fucking around. Do what you have to, but I have to check in with Sam before he shits bricks."

She led me from the end of the alley and into the empty street that was pickled with fires that were slowly dying to ashes. Everyone was working on throwing random pieces into the flames as quickly as they could. The human damage would have more of an effect than that of the vampires battle.

When the keening sound and screams filtered from the alley, Leah stopped and looked over her shoulder. I could see she was happy that the last of the red eyed vampires were taken care of and her shoulders relaxed before she looked back at me with sad eyes.

"Paul told me what Jacob did."

"Shit." I grumbled.

"The question is, why weren't you the one to tell me? Bella, you know I had your back."

"I didn't know for sure. I found out the day..." I trailed off, unable to bring that up again. I was raw enough as it was without dredging up that piece of my past. Seemingly understanding that I needed a change of direction in the conversation, Leah took over the conversation, steering it back to somewhat safe territory.

"Everyone's pissed off at him, Bella. You were part of the family, you still are. And I... Well, I told Jen."

I looked over at her with my mouth wide open. She'd _told_ Jacob's imprint that he'd been unfaithful? Sure. I hated him for what he'd done to me, but that didn't mean I wanted her to suffer. She hadn't known, and he'd never told her. As far as I knew, she didn't know I existed.

"But–"

"She knew that Jacob was with someone before her, Bella. How could she not? You were a huge part of our lives. We spent months looking for you after you left. We all just assumed that Jacob had explained about you after he'd broken it off, that's when she started coming around. She heard Jake and I yelling after I confronted him with the truth and wanted to know what was going on. So I told her."

God hearing it said back in those terms just made me feel so angry. He'd had plenty of chances to break up with me. For the time he was with her, he still called me every night, still called me by pet names and he told me he loved me. Every night he would end the conversation with I love you, and I believed him. All the while he was screwing his imprint.

What was I supposed to do with that?

"I hate him, Lee."

"Right now, we all do. You're family, you always will be. One day though, if I know you as well as I think I do, you'll be tired of all that anger in you. You'll need to talk to him. When that day comes, I will stand beside you if you need me to."

"Thank you, Lee. I just– I can't right now."

"No one expects you to. Hell, he has a ways to go before most of us will acknowledge him again."

I ran my hands through my hair. I appreciated the solidarity, but they were his family, his pack. He needed them as much as they needed him. They worked together, ate together, and lived together. They were a family. I hoped they would let it go. It was a betrayal against me. I was the only one that needed to hate him. Though it wasn't like he cared.

"Right now though, I have to drag Paul's stupid ass back to La Push," Leah said with a sigh.

"How bad is it?"

"Not bad at all, actually, but don't tell him that. Sam's impressed by his initiative, he's just pissed he didn't come to him first. Like I said. You're family, Sam understands that."

This was what I missed about the wolf pack and being part of it. We had all been a big family, we looked after one another and they'd made my life so much better. To imagine that they still thought about me that way was just... It was overwhelming. I missed talking shit with Leah, and flirting with Paul, I missed Emily's cupcakes and sense of humor. I missed Embry's dumb jokes and ass pinching, Quil's quiet strength, Kim's need to debate everything, Jared's quick solutions, Sue's advice, Seth's big heart and Billy's wisdom about all things Charlie. I missed them all. They were a huge part of my life, just like the Cullens were.

"I miss you guys."

"We miss you too, but you can visit whenever the hell you want to. Jacob can go fuck himself if he doesn't like it."

I let out a small laugh and pulled Leah into another hug. She hugged me back until another warm body pressed into my back and the smell of Paul enveloped me. He leaned his cheek on the top of my head as Leah laughed.

"Bella."

"Yeah, Paul?"

"You smell like you bathed in vampires."

I shook my head and laughed, letting myself enjoy the moment with my extended family. They owned a part of me that had been buried for a long time. One I was determined to let surface again, because I wasn't going to stay away. I needed them, just as much as I needed the vampires that had stood at my back and protected me.

"Okay, well we're going to help with the clean up." Leah whispered, looking past me. "Looks like someone wants to talk to you."

"Edward?"

She nodded and smiled. "All worked out in the end, didn't it?"

"No," Paul said, playfully. "What about me?"

"We'll revisit that when you can say monogamy without going pale." Leah laughed, shoving him toward where the biggest fire was. I could hear them bantering as they walked. It sounded like wolves yipping in the forest when they thought no one was listening.

"You know, I never understood before," Edward said from beside me, making me jump. I turned into his arms and pressed myself against his body, my lips finding his neck.

"What didn't you understand?"

"When I found out about the wolves and you and Jacob. I couldn't understand why you'd want to be a part of that. It wasn't just Jacob though, you loved all of them, you are a part of their pack. They accepted you."

"I never understood it." I admitted.

"That's because you don't see yourself the way others see you. You never have. You're extraordinary."

"And you, my love, are full of shit."

"You'll see it one day." He promised.

"Shut up and kiss me."

He didn't hesitate. He leaned down and captured my lips with his, his hands pulling my waist against him as he indulged himself. His tongue moved against my lips and I gave him full control over my body. I arched into him, my arms linking around his neck as I fell greedily into his kiss.

"Hey, get a room." Paul shouted, and I flicked him the bird. "No, seriously, we need a ride. If you get a room you can take us north so we can run home."

I pulled back and looked over at the direction Paul was shouting from. Leah was pushing him and laughing, her head shaking as she yelled at him.

In the end, we took them north as they'd asked. Neither of them had seemed thrilled about running through Vegas in their human or wolf bodies, so Edward and I took the Mercedes and drove them to the outskirts where the desert met the city limits. I stared up at the stars as we waited for them to phase. My head was still swimming a little, and the daze of actually making it out of there alive was still blowing my mind.

Edward stood next to me, leaning against the car with his eyes on me rather than the beauty that hung like a canopy above us. It was darker out there, away from the city, but I felt a sense of peace. There was nothing in the dark to scare me any more. No shadow that threatened to come alive and take away everything that had a meaning in my life.

As I looked back over at Edward, I smiled. "What?"

"You. I just want to watch you."

I stuck my finger up my nose and smiled. "Still wanna watch me?"

He just raised his eyebrows at me in humor.

"You're classy," he drawled, his body rolled over mine and leaned into me so I was pressed up against the car. "It's why I love you so much."

"Hmm. I dress like a slob, cuss like a sailor and pick my nose. What's not to love?"

"Now you get it," he sighed with a laugh. He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine, but pulled back entirely too soon in my opinion. "Yes, Paul."

"What did he say?" I asked, looking over Edward's shoulder to the huge wolf sat at the end of the car. His huge pink tongue was lolling out of the side of his mouth as he watched the two of us, and I could only imagine what he was thinking in that perverted mind of his.

"He wants to say goodbye." Edward looked over at the wolf and nodded in respect. "I'll wait in the car."

He stepped away from me, and I slid past him toward both of the wolves that were sat patiently waiting for me. I leaned into Paul first, my hand diving into the course fur around his neck as I leaned my forehead against his cheek.

"I won't stay away for so long this time." He nuzzled into me with a soft purring in his throat, then looked over his shoulder to Leah and chuffed at her. I kissed him on the top of the nose and walked toward the more elegant of the two. Leah was all muscle in a slightly smaller and more compact body. She wasn't any less powerful though, and she was fast too.

I wrapped my arms around her neck. "You look after him and keep him out of trouble for me. I'll see you soon."

Leah bucked her head and licked my arm as I stepped away from her. She looked over at Paul and yipped. Paul's huge body was up in a second as the two of them took off. He nipped at her flank and she ran into his side the flat of her head butting at him as the sound of playful yapping filled the desert air.

Cool arms closed around my waist and I leaned back against the broad expanse of Edward's chest as I watched the huge wolves disappear into the inky darkness of night. Only their chatter left behind in their wake.

Considering how much had been taken away from me in my life, I couldn't help but feel complete in that one moment. I had a family, a large, diverse family that didn't always get along, but they all had one thing in common, they all loved me, even if I couldn't explain why.

* * *

**Authors Note: **Just a few more things to wrap up. We have a grand total of two chapters left. I'm gonna miss these guys. They're so much fun to write.

I want to thank all you guys for reading, adding to alerts and favorites and for the amazing reviews. You guys have been so supportive throughout this story and I can't thank you enough for sticking with me even when my schedule got insane. I love all you guys.

Pinkindeed, you're so patient and wonderful, thank you for being there.

Hev99 and Sabi's Sookie, I love you guys so much. There are no words!

**MWAH! **


	37. Chapter 37: Goodbyes, and New Beginnings

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 37: Goodbyes, and New Beginnings**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
__Only hate the road when you're missing home  
__Only know you love her when you let her go  
__And you let her go_

_**Let Her Go by Passenger**_

* * *

I wasn't sure if it was a dream or real, but either way, I didn't want it to stop. Ever. As the cool fingers once again ran along the line of my panties, I knew it was real. Poor Edward had carried me up from the car to our hotel room, because I'd passed out after we'd dropped Paul and Leah off out in the desert. We'd both been so hungry for one another, but as the car hummed beneath me, I found myself drifting. The journey to the hotel room had been just flashes of memory as he'd carried me.

This thought, his long cool digits touching and teasing, this was something I could get used to waking up with.

"You're awake."

I shook my head and smiled as his lips touched mine gently. Apparently this man of mine didn't take no for an answer and seemingly enjoyed taking control. Not that I was really adverse to what he was proposing.

"Bella, are you lying to me?"

I shook my head again, and opened my mouth, allowing him entrance. My body arching as his tongue explored my mouth.

This was definitely the way to wake up.

His fingers gently dipped below the waistband of my underwear and slipped between my legs until he rubbed against the sensitive bud that was swollen in anticipation. My breath came from me in a rush as his mouth parted from mine and his lips trailed down the column of my neck to the curve in my shoulder. My legs slid apart as his thumb continued the ministrations and he slipped a finger inside of me.

We groaned together as my hips bucked gently against his hand. He slipped another of his cool digits inside my body, gently stretching and pumping as my head slammed back into the pillow and my back lifted from the bed. Which was exactly the moment he latched onto one of my nipples hungrily. He brought me shuddering to the edge of climax. As I rushed to the precipice, he pulled back, his hand leaving the part of me that ached for him.

Before I could even complain, I felt his weight settle between my legs, spreading them further as the cool skin of his body rubbed against my thighs. My eyes fluttered open as the blunt head of him nudged at me playfully, and the moment our eyes met, he slid deep inside of me, stretching me out and stealing my breath. His head dropped to his chest as he moaned with satisfaction. One arm hooking gently under my knee spread me further until he was fully sheathed.

This was home for me. This man, the way he made me feel, the way he took me with such command. This was the man I'd always needed, always wanted, that I would ever want. He swung his hips back before pushing in once again to the hilt, my hips rising to meet his, in tempo with his thrust.

The sound of our skin coming together as we found a rhythm filled the room with our groans and moans of pleasure. I came hard around him, still on edge from the workout with his fingers. My body gripping and holding him deep inside of me as the euphoria overtook me. Wrapping my free leg around his waist I pulled him deeper as the climax slowed. I needed more. I needed him.

Edward leaned forward, my leg sliding up to his shoulder as his eyes moved to where our bodies were in union. He watched as he pushed into me, as I met him thrust for thrust. His eyes were black when he looked up at me, his hunger revealed as he growled into the room and picked up his tempo.

I cried out as I accepted him inside of me, the deep thrusts; the friction. My hands buried into the sheets on either side of us as I locked my eyes onto his. All of the love, all of the emotion that I saw reflecting back at me once again made my body undulate in the rolls of pleasure.

Edward's breaths turned into pants as he watched me, he leaned forward slowly, his eyes holding mine as his lips finally came home. His tongue laved against my own as the pure joy rocked through my soul. As my body locked around his, he grunted, his hips rocking roughly against mine, one, twice, before every ridge of his form turned into rock against me. He pulled back as his lips parted, my name spilling from them like a prayer.

My head exploded in pleasure, my belly rolled with joy as I wrapped myself around him. Never wanting to move from this place where we were one.

"I love you," he whispered against my skin, as he collapsed against me, his head finding the cradle between my neck and shoulders. He licked the sweat from my overheated skin as he arranged himself so his weight was barely on me and my aching leg slid to the bed.

I was spent, and deliciously sore between my legs, but having him still there felt so right. I didn't want to ever move. He sucked on my neck, careful of his teeth as he worked. The ache for him was a flare of light in my body and I let the words fall out of my mouth. Full of every emotion I was feeling.

"I love you too."

"Say it again."

"I love you, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."

My eyes widened as I felt him harden inside of me again. The smooth length of him filling me as my words penetrated him further. I lifted my hands to his cheeks as he groaned in satisfaction. I pulled gently so he was looking directly at me.

"I. Love. You."

"Again." He growled possessively.

"I." He pumped into me and I moaned.

"Love." Again his pelvis ground against mine with purpose. A tumble of words fell from my mouth but I was damned if I knew what they were.

"You." His hips rocked so hard against my body I had to grip onto his wrists to stay in place. My voice bit out into the room as my body accepted him further and harder than he'd been before. I released his arms and pushed my hands against the headboard as my body bowed and accepted him deeper inside of me.

I'd never felt anything like it in my life. Every move of his body was a powerful stroke, filled with a litany that only I would ever understand. His hoarse voice barked out a confession of emotion, but the two of us were lost in the thrill of this new, more intense mating.

"I can't stop," he groaned. "So. Sorry."

I didn't have time to answer, he paused for only a second, his hands rolling me onto all fours before he pressed deeper inside of me making me drop my head into the pillow to scream out of sheer joy. His hands, which started on my hips, moved to my breasts, which he worshiped with his palms and fingers. He tweaked and pulled, squeezed and rolled.

My ears lit up with a buzz of sound as my body started to fall apart with ecstasy. Every one of my limbs shook violently as my body gripped a hold of his length inside of me and I rode the wave, pushing my body back at his. His body was so in tune with mine he came with a shout, and roar of sound as his hand rode the undulating wave of my spine.

I collapsed face first into the pillow and he followed, his big body covering mine as his hands folded under me as his length finished the slow jerky movements inside of me. He rolled from his place above me the moment he was finished, his hands riding over my skin, before turning my face to meet his.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No." I grinned.

"I couldn't stop. Oh God, what if–"

"Hey," I said, pushing up to my elbows and draping myself on his chest. My hand cupped his cheek and held him in place, but it didn't remove the frantic look of terror in his eyes. "Edward, look at me. _Look at me_."

When he finally locked eyes with me, I felt him calm down, but his hands still ran over my body.

"You didn't hurt me. I am very happy, and very content." If not a little achy, I finished in my head. It was the most violent orgasm I'd ever had in my life, but it was also the most beautiful and emotional, all because it was him.

"Then why are you bleeding?" he whispered.

I frowned and looked down at my body.

"I can smell it."

I opened up my other hand to reach out to him and I smiled. Holding it up to him. I'd somehow dug my nails in deep enough to bite into my skin of my palm, three little bloody crescents sat pride of place in the heel of my hand.

"My fault. See. Nothing wrong."

The breath blew out of his body in one long stream, the air bathing my overheated body in a cool breeze. As much as I hated to admit it, I loved the fact that there was still some of the old Edward still in there. Worrying about me.

"I'm sorry I–"

"No more saying you're sorry. It was... Well, the only word I have for it is wow."

He chuckled, shaking his head as he dropped a kiss on my forehead. He gathered me in his arms and held me to him. My head was flat on his chest as I let my breath settle in my chest. It really had been the most amazing sex of my life. Edward may have scared himself, but me... I was in a blissed out state, with some aches in places I really wasn't sure I knew existed on my body.

"I could use a hot bath," I mumbled out into the room as his fingers ran through the end of my hair and hypnotizing me into a coma.

"Now that, I can do," he said, rolling me from his body so I was hit with a blast of cold room, and didn't that just wake my happy ass up. Apparently, he could absorb some of my heat because I felt the difference in temperature. As he disappeared into the bathroom, I prayed that my legs would still work. They felt almost as jelly-like as the rest of me. It was perfect, but I doubted Edward would see the humor of it.

I shuffled to the edge of the bed. My body was a maelstrom of humming aches and delicious pains. Every small movement seemed to flare off another round of the dull throbs in my muscles. It made me smile into the empty room as though we shared a private joke. I pushed up to my wobbly legs, happy to see that they still held my weight even though I felt like a drunk on stilts.

"You look like Bambi," Edward said, laughing from the bathroom door. I'd assumed he was running the bath so his voice shocked the hell out of me. I fell back down to the bed as I jumped, which only made him laugh harder. As I flicked him the bird and tried again. I was in his arms before I'd even managed to get vertical.

"Hmm, I think we need to take it easy today."

"Do you?" I asked, smirking at him as he carried me toward the bathroom. "That's nice, I have things I need to do before we go home though."

"Home?"

I let my head rest against his shoulder. I had to admit it was rather presumptuous of me. Still, if I was being an open book, I figure I may as well take it all the way. My fear had helped me make stupid mistakes, and because of that I'd missed out on so much. It was time for me to be me. To say what was on my mind damn the consequences.

"Home is wherever you are, Edward," I whispered. Hating that I sounded so nervous about it.

Edward leaned down and dropped a gentle kiss to my lips. His smile was resplendent when he resurfaced. Man, I was finished wasting time without him in my life. Victoria was gone and I had a chance at the life I wanted, and I was damned if I was going to let that slip through my fingers because I was being a prideful fool.

Edward lowered me into the bath. The hot water pooled around my body, soothing my aching muscles as I relaxed against the edges. I groaned and closed my eyes in pleasure, stretching out in the huge thing and lowering myself until the water was just above my mouth. When I opened my eyes again, Edward was leaning against the edge of the tub, watching me.

"Do you mean that?" he asked gently, his voice almost as unsure as mine had been.

I nodded. "Absolutely."

"Then marry me."

I would love to say I was elegant and feminine in the aftermath of the bomb he dropped. I would love to say, that I was graceful, but alas, this was me. Being me meant I almost drowned as my body went all soft and I sunk like a lead weight in the huge tub.

Cool hands gripped my shoulder and pulled me out, but rather than coughing and spluttering, I gave him the warmest smile I could muster.

"I thought you'd never ask."

He smiled, and leaned over the tub to kiss me. My arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him in with me until there was an almighty splash and he was soaked from head to toe, his lips still fused with mine.

A couple of hours later, my body almost refusing to obey my commands, we resurfaced from the room. We didn't go and see the family, there were things I needed to do before I got lost in that part of my life. One of them was saying goodbye to Dave. I had called Tanya's room and found Ryan with her, and managed to get Dave's home address. Edward drove me over there his hand in mine, while the other steered the car. I watched the lights of the main strip passing realizing that I never wanted to see them again for as long as I lived.

When the car pulled up outside the house, Edward and I sat together in silence, just staring at the door.

"You sure you don't want to come in?" I asked, quietly.

"I have something I need to do. I'll be back in an hour though."

I nodded and pushed open my door. Ryan had called him and explained I was on my way, so I knew he was expecting me. I wasn't looking forward to explaining what I had to in order to make sure Dave kept himself off the radar, but I really didn't have much choice.

I stepped out and gave Edward a smile before pushing the door closed and starting up the walk to the door of the small but homely bungalow that sat on a cookie cutter street. It hadn't been something I had expected when I though of his home, but then I hadn't been right on many counts.

When the door opened, the young girl came sprinting from the house, her tiny feet slapping the sidewalk before she wrapped herself around my legs.

"You came, you came. Daddy said you was, but I didn't believe him."

"Of course I came. I had to say goodbye," I said, pulling her into my arms. When I looked up, Dave was stood at the door, his smile broad and welcoming.

I walked toward him and let him wrap his arms around us before he welcomed me into his home.

The inside was homely, the black leather couches and huge television were the focal point. You would have thought there would have been sports playing, but the _backyardigans_ was chattering away to no one in particular. There were pictures of Lauren everywhere. Every surface was littered with different stages of her growth, and it reminded me of my dad's mantle and the pictures he'd displayed of me growing up. Only a second in the house and it was easy to see that this child was Dave's life.

"Okay, pumpkin, how about you clean up some of your things so Bella can sit down," he said, tickling her belly and making her squirm in my arms.

When I set her on her feet, I swear she rolled her eyes at him, but did as he asked anyway. She rushed around the room, scooping up books and toys from the couch and other surfaces.

"Coffee?"

"I would love a cup," I said, dragging my eyes away from his daughter and following him into his kitchen.

"You okay? You didn't get hurt or anything?" he asked, checking out my slightly exaggerated gait.

"No, I'm good, just achy."

He nodded and moved about his kitchen as Lauren's little voice singing the theme tune to the show she was watching filled the house. It was adorable to hear her going about her business.

"How is she?" I asked, accepting the cup that was placed in front of me.

"Fine. I was expecting nightmares, crying fits and irrational fear, but she's just the way she's always been. For her it's like it never happened."

"Good. Lets hope it stays that way."

"What the hell was that, Bella?"

I looked over my shoulder and smiled at the girl dancing with the creatures on the huge television.

"They were vampires. The red head, Victoria, her mate came after me when I was seventeen and he was eliminated. She's been after me since. Vampires mate for life when they find the one for them, so she couldn't move past it. When she killed my dad I had a melt down and that's when I came here. I thought I was safe, that I was under her radar. Apparently, I wasn't. She was just biding her time."

"Christ. Why didn't you ever say something?"

"Would you have believed me?"

Dave rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head, a small smile on his lips.

"I tried so hard to stay away from people, to stop them getting involved in the nightmare I was living. It's why I always kept you and Ryan at arms length. She must have known I cared though. I'm just so sorry you were dragged into it, that Lauren was dragged into it."

"So the red head is–"

"Dead," I said nodding. "I'm leaving again, but I needed to see you. To apologize and to ask you not to reveal what you saw. I know it's hard to forget everything, but it goes deeper than all of that. They have a governing body that has no problem taking care of people who know their secret. I need to make sure that you're safe, and in order to do that, you need to forget everything and never tell a soul."

"Who would I tell?"

"If you see anyone that resembles a vampire, you can't call them out."

"Believe me. I'm not that stupid, baby girl. What about you? Where are you going?"

I played with the cup in my hands and took a deep drink, letting the warm drink settle in my stomach. I was so used to hiding things from people it felt weird having the freedom to do it without worrying that I would be followed.

"Back to Alaska for now," I finally answered.

"And Ryan?"

"Coming with us. My friends are vampires, but live from animal blood and he seems willing to try doing things that way."

"Where is he now?"

"With Tanya."

Dave barked out a laugh and rubbed his chest before taking a mouthful of his coffee. He grinned at me over the rim and shot me a knowing glance. "Well, I have a feeling he'll be well looked after."

"You're not lying." I snorted.

"And you?"

"I'm getting married," I said for the first time in my life. It felt good to get it out there in the open.

Dave gave me a bright smile before heading over and wrapping his arms around me. He held onto me tightly, and I realized that he'd done this often. In a blur of drug induced hazes, he'd been the one to look after me. I didn't recall the situations or the moments, but the feeling of him holding me was so familiar, it triggered something inside of me.

"He finally saw his mistake then?"

"What do you mean?"

"Baby girl, you were a window when you were high, and you talk in your sleep."

"When–" I was going to ask when he'd been around me while I was sleeping, but it was a stupid question. If he'd hugged me, he'd obviously looked after me in my states of oblivion. "Thank you for looking after me. I don't remember any of it, but I know you were there."

Lauren's little voice drifted into the kitchen as she reprimanded the behavior of one of the characters on the TV, and I laughed as I stepped out of Dave's embrace. His eyes were filled with love as he listened to his daughter.

"Can I ask what happened to her mom?" I said quietly.

"I married her while I was still enlisted. She had a complication giving birth to Lauren. I miss her every day, but I have the best part of her with me, all of it in that little bundle of joy in there."

"She's an amazing kid."

"Thank you," He grinned.

I spent a little while longer talking to him, and playing with Lauren. It was achingly normal, and I enjoyed every moment of my time with them. When I heard a car idling outside of the house, I took a deep breath and started my goodbyes. Lauren followed me out of the house, trailing behind me as Dave stood at the door and nodded at the car parked in front of his house.

I kneeled in front of Lauren and brushed her hair over her shoulders before pulling her into a hug. She gripped my neck tightly with her tiny arms and kissed me on the cheek as she pulled away.

"Bye, Lauren."

"We don't say goodbye," she whispered. "We say see you later. Goodbye is too p–p–" She looked back at Dave who smiled at her.

"Permanent."

"It means a long, long time," she whispered conspiratorially.

"Then I will see you later, Lauren." I laughed, tapping her nose with my finger. "You look after your daddy."

"I will."

I stood up and tugged the ends of her hair playfully before backing away to the car. I lifted my hand and offered them a wave before climbing inside and taking a deep breath. Being with Edward soothed me.

"Bella." I looked over at him and smiled. "You sure about this? Watching you with the little girl–"

"I appreciate you asking, but I'm sure. I love you, Edward. Always have, always will."

I opened the window and waved as we pulled away, only winding the thing up when we were on our way back to the hotel. I could feel Edward watching me, looking for signs that I was about to have a mental breakdown. I was feeling good though. The slight sting of cravings was fading and lethargy was winding its way into my body. I felt free.

"Open the glove box."

I leaned forward and popped the thing open. Inside, there was a small, blue velvet box.

"Is this–" I didn't finish. I just opened the thing and gasped at the ring inside. I fingered the large diamond and the sapphires that were decorating the nest. It was my birthstone. "It's beautiful, and perfect."

"Don't put it on yet. I want to do it the right way."

I smiled and fingered the jewels for a while longer before closing it back into darkness. Clutching the box in my hands, I looked up at the strip as we turned onto it, and said my goodbyes. I was starting a new life, and though I had been through hell here, I'd also found salvation and my future, a future that was only just beginning and had endless possibilities.

* * *

**Authors Note: **One left, I guess it will be the last little bit of closure as a farewell. I think Bella needed to say goodbye to the last of the life she'd made for herself, but as she said, she was happy and she was finally beginning to feel content with her life.

Thanks to all of your for reading, Adding to alerts and favorites, and, as always, for the reviews. You guys blow me away and I don't take it for granted that you take time out of your schedules to let me know what you think. For me, that is huge. Especially as my own has become insane.

Pinkindeed, thank you for being you. For your patience, and understanding and for always being there.

Ronnie... I know you're reading this as I couldn't be more grateful to call you my friend.

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie There are no words for how much I love the two of you.

**MWAH!**


	38. Chapter 38: EPilogue

**The Blood Of One. The Sins Of Many. **

**Chapter 38: Epilogue**

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**Disclaimer: **I am not Stephenie Meyer; it's unfortunate, but true. I don't own Twilight or any of its characters either... Though I would love to, I can't take credit for that genius. _The plot is my own, but all references to Twilight, its characters and the lyrics used __**belong to their respective owners**__._ Thank you for letting me play in the playground!

* * *

_Please don't go just yet  
__Can you stay a moment please?  
__We can dance together  
__We can dance forever_

_**Broken Wings by Flyleaf**_

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I woke up to an empty bed. My hands shuffled over the cool sheets until they hit the edge of the mattress. That was a first. Since we'd come back from Vegas almost three months earlier, he'd been there every morning when I woke up. It had started out of necessity. Once the drugs had completely bled from my system again, I'd gone through a less brutal version of the detox all over again. It hadn't been as bad as the first time, but it still made me determined to never have to go through it again. In all honesty, being as happy as I was with Edward, the cravings started to subside. I knew they would always be a part of my life, but replacing them with sex was a solution I could live with.

Still, Edward wasn't there, and it wasn't so much that it bothered me. It was just – weird.

The house was quiet as I sat up, but that's what living with vampires was all about. It was quiet even when it was teeming with life. I pulled on a ratty pair of flannel pajama pants and ambled toward the door. My legs were aching from being curled into a ball, and the workout I'd had the night before. I couldn't help but smile at the memory as I stretched out my body.

When I finally opened the door, I let out a yelp and stumbled backward, stubbing my toe on a dresser, which in turn had me hopping about on one foot while I massaged the other. The fucking vampires were going to end up giving me a coronary. Their hearts were in the right place, and the thought of a huge mural on the wall across from my door with a banner and balloons that screamed happy birthday was heart warming and all, but not what I'd been expecting when I opened the door.

Rosalie, Tanya and Alice stuck their heads inside the door, all smiles as they tried not to laugh at my pathetic imitation of a one legged bunny rabbit as I massaged the last of the sting from my toe.

"Happy birthday." They all said together. They stepped into the room with a tray of food, several bags and a few garment bags.

"What the hell is this?"

"A surprise," Alice said gently, hanging the garment bags on a hook that was over the bathroom door. "First, eat your birthday breakfast."

Tanya dropped the tray on the bed and smiled proudly as she revealed all of my favorite foods.

"Awe honey, you cooked."

"You know better than to accuse me of something so mundane. Esme made it."

"Thank God," Rosalie said. "Tanya in the kitchen gives me images of complete disaster."

I popped a strawberry in my mouth and looked between the three of them, narrowing my eyes as I tried to figure out what they were up to. They got points for the fresh fruit and whipped cream on the waffles, but they weren't off the hook yet.

"I don't like surprises." I clarified, cutting into the waffle and dropping some cream and fruit on it.

"Tough titties, my friend. Today is all about them. You can be mad later," Rosalie said, dropping onto the bed beside me. "Just be gracious."

"You live simply to torture me, don't you?"

"No, darling. We love you. All of this is about making you happy." Tanya sang merrily. Picking up a blueberry and sniffing at it. She stuck her tongue out and tasted it, screwing up her face as though she'd swallowed a lemon. I stifled my laughter and shook my head. It seemed to be the one lesson she never learned, even with her photographic memory. She had to taste everything I ate, and the reaction was always the same.

Anyway, like I believed that for a second. Well, I knew they loved me, because I loved them with everything I was. They'd become a huge staple in my life. If it hadn't ben for them I could be dead, brain dead, or locked in my room with Edward for the rest of my life. Though the latter really didn't feel like a hardship. They did, however, live to torture me.

"Okay, at least tell me where Edward is."

"Downstairs."

"Can I say hello?"

"Nope. Not until later."

"What the hell guys? It's my birthday. As much as I love you all I was kinda hoping his face would be the one I saw first thing this morning."

There was a quiet knock at the door, and Tanya hopped up from the bed and danced toward it. The moment she cracked it open, she launched herself at the body on the other side. Ryan caught her easily, his copper colored eyes full of his happiness as he kissed her hungrily. The two of them had been inseparable since Vegas. They were good for one another, and were falling more and more in love the longer they spent together. Ryan had latched onto their diet easily and was able to be around me without having to hold his breath. As happy as I was for them, it didn't mean I was happy about this display when I was forbidden to see Edward.

"You're a heartless woman, Tanya."

She shot me the finger as Alice kicked the door closed. I continued to eat in silence as I pondered what the hell they were up to. My narrowed eyes moved between the two left in the room. I decided Alice was the easiest target, so I zeroed in on her.

"Alice?"

"Yes?"

"What's in the bag?"

"You'll see."

"What's in the garment bags?"

"You'll see."

"If this is prom all over again I will hurt you."

"No you won't, and twenty-five is entirely too old for prom."

"Who are you calling old? Weren't you born in the twenties?"

Rosalie started to laugh on the bed next to me. Her eyes alight with humor as she watched Alice and me glare at one another. We weren't mad so much as it was a test of wills. The fact she didn't have to blink really meant that she was going to win. My eyes were going to dry out long before she felt the compulsion to flap the flesh.

"Rosalie Lillian Hale McCarty Cullen, tell me."

"You think full naming me is going to help you out?"

A girl can dream, I thought, giving her a pleading smile and puppy dog eyes. "It works with Edward."

Alice and Rosalie both laughed, and Tanya reentered with a resplendent smile. She nodded once, and both Rosalie and Alice smiled back at her. I was seriously going to scream soon if they didn't tell me something. I finished eating with a fully-fledged pout, which I kept on while I showered and brushed my teeth. I was considering locking myself in the bathroom, but Alice would have seen the choice and had a screwdriver ready. It really didn't leave a girl a lot of options.

I was forced to endure hair and make up, the whole time asking questions, even though I was pretty sure that I already knew the answer as they were working on themselves too. They were throwing me a party, and I had vetoed that a month ago because of the disaster that was my eighteen birthday. My prodding and empty threats did nothing to make them reveal what they were doing though.

"Alice?" I asked as I was finally relieved from the vanity where I wasn't allowed to look at myself.

"Yeah?"

"Can you tell me one thing?" I said, munching on the lunch that had also been delivered to me.

"Depends on the question."

"Can you see my reaction? When you made the decision to do this can you see how I react to it?"

"Finally. A question I can answer," she said gently, sitting next to me on the bed, her dark hair was perfectly sculptured while Rose and Tanya were still in front of the mirror trying to decide whether they were wearing theirs up or down. "You're going to be very happy. If I hadn't had the answer to that, none of us would be doing this."

It should have made me feel better, but it really didn't. I felt like a spring loaded and coiled tight, waiting for release. I hated not knowing.

"Now," she said getting up, and digging through one of the bags. "Put this on, and put on your robe."

She handed me a flesh colored corset with a garter belt and the sexiest undies I'd ever laid eyes on. I stared at them and then her, and back to them again.

"Alice–"

"Just trust me. You'll thank me later."

I moved to the walk in closet and pulled off my robe, and pulled on the crazy underwear. With the laces at the back of the corset, I was forced to open the door and plead for help from my captors. Alice, of course, was more than happy to help. She tugged the things tight until my boobs were perky and my cleavage ample.

"Hello girls." I hummed, looking down in wonder. I'd worn corsets at work before, but they'd always been the hook and eye kind that I could remove easily. After all I had been a stripper, without the boob show it would have been kind of pointless.

"Wow." Tanya laughed from the bathroom door. "I may have to change my mind after all."

"Shut up. You missed your opportunity. You have perma-peen now."

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind sharing if you look like that." She snorted without apology.

I rolled my eyes and pulled the robe around me. I sat on the bed and carefully rolled on the stockings and clipped them, feeling like I should be wearing bloomers rather that the lace number that was shirking up my ass.

"Stage one complete," Alice said, gathering up a bag and the garment sacks from the door. "You get a surprise for being so accommodating."

I was tugged out of my room and down the stairs. All four of us were in robes.

"Are we doing some kind of burlesque show?"

"Dammit." Tanya laughed, looping her arm through mine. "Why didn't I think of that? I guess there's always Christmas."

"Close your eyes, Bella."

I did as I was told on impulse, then fell to their mercy as they guided me down the stairs. My logic was that if I fell, I would be forced back into my bed by the good doctor. I could spend days there while I recovered. I didn't think the thing through well enough though. They were vampires, one sign of a tumble and I would be safer than the president.

"Okay, open."

I opened my eyes and squealed. Stood before me were Paul and Leah, both of them dressed to the nines, including Paul tugging at the collar of his starched white shirt, and Leah tugging at the hem of her beautiful, flowing, silver dress as though willing it to grow a couple of inches. I launched myself at them, Paul catching me easily before spinning me around and dropping a kiss to my cheek. Leah shoved him out of the way and pulled me into an embrace, she was beaming.

"Look at you."

"I can't, they won't let me see a mirror."

"Then look at your tits," Paul said, his eyes on the spot where my robe had come apart. Leah slapped his arm and rolled her eyes. "What? It's a compliment."

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked, choosing to ignore Paul's last comment and tugging the side of my robe together.

"We were invited, and it's your birthday. We figured why the hell not."

"Then why are you in a dress? And why is Paul in a well tailored suit?"

Leah eyed the three women behind me and shook her head as though she were banned from saying anything. Before I could ask anymore questions, Rosalie stepped forward and grabbed my hand, ignoring my protests. She pulled me to the cavernous downstairs bathroom, as Alice and Tanya followed, garment bags in hand.

"I'll be right back." I called over my shoulder.

I was shut inside, and placed against the wall. The three women were almost vibrating with excitement. Three of the four garment bags were hung on the towel rack, while another was held up in front of me.

"Okay. Here's the big reveal," Tanya said.

"Just remember that we love you and we've been listening to you for months," Rosalie said while Alice started unzipping the bag.

"Which is why this was done as a surprise." Alice finished, pulling out a beautiful, white floor length, empire waisted gown. The bust of the dress had a beautifully intricate design of precious stones. The fabric of the skirts fell like air to the ground, with the capped sleeves in the same airless fabric.

My heart started a weird rhythm in my chest and pounded up my throat until it echoed in my ears. I leaned against the wall as I looked past the three women to the mirror beyond them. My hair was a knot at the back of my head with curled tendrils falling freely, my make up was perfect, but it was my high colored cheeks and bright eyes that made me realize that what I was feeling was excitement.

"Bella?"

"I'm getting married."

"Yes."

"Today."

"Well, yes."

"Can I just say how glad I am that you know me so well? I was dreading the planning and decisions and this is... Well, it's perfect."

The three of them smiled and rushed forward, arms folding around me so we were a myriad of limbs and heads. I really had been dreading the whole planning a wedding part of getting married. I'd never really had a vision of how I would get married, where I would get married or even what I would wear. It wasn't in my DNA, and the thought of it just stressed me out completely. This though, this had eliminated everything other than me saying I do, and that I could live with.

"Paul's here to give you away," Rose said gently, her hand grabbing mine. "We figured that... Well, he's the closest thing to a brother that you have other than Emmett. He was also part of your life with your dad. I hope we did the right thing?"

I felt the stinging in my eyes and tilted my head back to keep them inside. It was thing like this that made me see how much they cared, and how well they knew the real me. They were the only ones that would have put the two pieces of my life together and come up with the right answer.

"I love you." I finally wept. Annoyed at myself for being an emotional mess. "All of you."

Tanya smiled and grabbed a tissue, handing it to Alice. As Alice tried to fix the mess I made, Tanya shook her head and laughed. "Lets just hope he doesn't want to keep those boobs for himself."

That put a smile on my face.

"Okay, make up is fixed. Let's get you in this dress."

I nodded and waited as Alice unzipped the thing and Rosalie helped me step into it. I stood completely still as they did it up, I'd gained weight since I'd come back to Alaska. Esme was still feeding me like I was three people rather than one. It did up perfectly.

"Oh Alice, you were so right," Tanya said, studying me. "Bohemian while still old school."

"That's why you should trust me more often," Alice said, stepping out of the way so I was revealed in the mirror.

Fuck. I was going to cry again. It was perfect.

"Please say you guys made yourselves bridesmaids?"

"Yup. Leah too."

Alice pulled out a silver dress identical to Leah's. Leah's discomfort suddenly made sense. I stood in a daze staring at myself in the mirror while the others dressed. I still wasn't used to seeing myself like this. It was a bit of a shock.

"Let me get the flowers out of the fridge and we're good to go," Alice said, opening the door and leading me out into the living room to where Paul and Leah were waiting.

Leah covered her mouth, tears springing into her eyes, while Paul's mouth fell open. I was waiting for some kind of wise-crack or cocky comment, but when he approached, he simply took my hands and held them out so he could look at me. He cleared his throat as he pulled me into a gentle hug. In his deep voice he said the one thing I'd needed to hear the most in that moment.

"Your dad would be so proud of you. You look beautiful, Bells."

I closed my eyes and leaned my cheek against his shoulder, my hands grabbing the back of his jacket with a kind of desperation. I was so ready for this to happen. I was ready for my life to start with the man I loved, as it always should have been.

As flowers were shoved into my hand, and shoes pushed onto my feet, I let myself get guided to the big deck out the back of the house. As we moved down the stairs I could see paper lanterns had been lit in the dying autumn light. They were strung from the trees and leading back toward a small clearing. On either side of the makeshift aisle, there were moss covered logs with tea lights place every six inches apart until the stopped where Edward was stood waiting for me.

My breath left me in a jerky hiccup of sound as I smiled at him. Paul's arm tightened around mine as he led me slowly down between the logs toward my destiny. I was like a puppet on a string as I moved toward him. I could barely feel the ground below my feet, or the wind blowing through my hair, or even the warmth of Paul's body so close to mine.

It was only at the trade off that I looked to Paul with a tearful thank you, before taking Edward's hands.

His mouthed happy birthday as I tried to catch my breath, but all I could do was smile at him, the tears stinging my eyes as the ceremony started.

The service, though beautiful, was a blur. The only thing I could see was Edward, his golden eyes locked on me as we said our vows and exchanged rings. I barely noticed the gathering of family and friends until the applause sounded after we kissed.

His lips moved from my mouth to my ear as the others milled around waiting for us to part.

"Are you happy?" he asked quietly, his hands rubbing my arms gently.

"You have no idea," I replied.

"What are you thinking about?"

"How I want to spend forever with you."

He pulled away and captured my eyes with his. "You just say the word, Bella."

"I want it all and I want it with you."

He nodded and leaned in to kiss me again. There was a time when he would have fought me tooth and nail, when he would have tried to take the decision away from me. Yet, here we were, husband and wife, and he was willing to give me the whole world in the palm of his hand.

As I sank into the kiss, I let myself go. I had finally found my happiness after all this time, and I was going to grip it with both hands for the rest of my life.

For eternity.

* * *

**Authors Note: **Sorry this is a day late, but I honestly couldn't bring myself to post it yesterday! I'm going to miss this Bella, and the rest of them. I had so much fun writing this and I had a blast sharing it with you.

I want to thank all of you for taking this little journey with me. You've been here week in and week out. You guys have been more amazing than I deserve. Thank you for reading, adding to faves and alerts and most of all to those of you who left reviews and blew my mind every week. I really do love you all and I am honored that you stuck with me through this. I know the beginning was never easy to read and some of you were amazing and shared stories with me and I will never forget that.

PinkIndeed. I know I disappeared again and I am sorry for that. Just know that I love you to pieces and I appreciate you always being there.

Ronnie... There are no words for how much I love you! You've been amazing and I can't thank you enough!

Hev99 and Sabi'sSookie... Y'all know I love you to the ends of the earth and back!

**MWAH! **


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